Btw i tested COVID POSITIVE. Get the hint when i start to hv chill and myalgia on 10th. I slept 12 freaking hours on that day.
Few colleagues already tested positive, i never knew that i will caught it too. I start develop high grade fever on 11st, still working that time w temp 38. Ambivalance to take swab initially but my colleague already register my name and prepare to take the sample. Funny thing is i took my swab by my own and all other colleagues made fun of it may insufficient sample and inadequate technique. And damn! It still positive. I got my result on 13th. Still go to work past 2day w high grade fever. Few man already down and i feel guilty to take MC with left only few ppl work before i knew my result.
Me, the person who really particular about hand hygiene, follow the SOP, strict about 1m distance and mask. I dont even stand anywhere near the stranger at public. I. Caught the virus. My heart sank when i heard the news and i instantly cry. The only two my close contact are my sister and my niece. That one even because my sister force me to hold my niece and she hugs me before she's leaving. Not sure if i caught the virus from them, because my sister had them tested 3 times and all negative. Alhamdulillah. My biggest worry if i infect them, and i couldnt forgive myself for that.
When i got the news, i only tell 2ppl. My sister and Z. Two coldest ppl i know that i love the most. And of course colleagues at work knew. The text i received, it made my heart warm, and suffocate at the same time. Its annoyed me. I think something is wrong with me. Im not ready to received any affection of love and care from ppl. Z text me most of the time, and call me twice. I didnt answer. I dont really feel like to talk to ppl. I dont even tell mak or any other family members. To make ppl worry & make things difficult to other is definitely the last thing i want to do. Sorry and thank you for everyone who reach out and asking, but i dont think i deserve any affection of love and care from people. (A bit dark of myself)
Now, im at quarantine centre, stress and suffocate. I wish i can do home quarantine. I miss my babies. I think they caught the virus too, because they start to hv cough and they are extra clingy and slept on the bed with me all the time.
When IK call me yesterday to arrange placement at quarantine centre i already request for home quarantine, but denied. Seriously im much more comfortable and happy just to stay at home. I knew myself better, i guess. And im a doctor.
Somehow also feeling proud of myself because past 3days i stay at home didnt go out AT ALL eventhough very tempting to buy groceries. I didnt get the bracelet and i can go out if i want and follow the strict SOP that i know better than everyone else as a medical personal. But i didnt.*self pat on shoulder.
Now im waiting a placement at tertiary centre. As a healthcare worker they gonna admit me at HKL. Praying hard i get it sooner. Another 5days & counting.