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Monday, 16 April 2012


I think one thing I've learned is that what seems to be the end of the story isn't always the end. The story's still being written and things can change, people can change. Good things can turn bad. But sad situations can also get better.

There is always hope as long as Someone good is writing the story. :) Thank God for that.




♥



Tuesday, 20 December 2011

It's been a while since I've blogged... I've been busy but the busyness has been fulfilling and worth it. :)

Just wanted to share something that crossed my mind: It seems like the most amazing, wonderful and basic things in life are things we do not earn, deserve, or control.

being alive
my body breathing, digesting, growing all on its own for years without my help
a glorious sunrise and every other wonder of nature
air every second
the gift of salvation
love from God, parents, and other people (who probably know you at your worst, but love you the most anyway)

while the things we seem to be able to earn/control are often unstable and undependable (think grades, job, money, plans for the future).


so what's there to be proud about?


♥



Monday, 22 August 2011

a thought on today's reading from The Relationship Principles of Jesus (about how the essence of Jesus' command to love is about acting with love regardless of feelings of love):

i was thinking that maybe that's the magic ingredient in the patient, amazing love of parents - acting with love even when kids do things that don't inspire feelings of love.

which as an older sibling you'll probably get a good chance to reflect on as you watch them interact with your younger siblings. (like 'wow, why aren't you whacking them yet?' or the ever common 'if it was me, no way would i get away with that')

but i was thinking - what if they're seemingly so good at patient love because they've gotten a lot of practice with you? what if, in bringing you up, they've had so many excellent chances to learn about showing love even when you didn't inspire feelings of love, that they're now so seemingly good at it with your younger siblings?

now that would be pretty humbling.


♥



Tuesday, 2 August 2011

It's deeper, it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher
It's deeper, it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher

Than anything my eyes can see

Your grace, still amazes me.


- Your Grace Still Amazes Me
Philips, Craig, and Dean


♥



Monday, 1 August 2011

i learnt something cool last week (from a psychologist)

feelings don't kill you
no one ever died from their feelings. you can sit on your bed and feel incredibly, incredibly sad but that won't kill you.

thoughts don't kill you either.
it's the actions that you take following from those feelings and thoughts that can harm you.

isn't that cool?
i just liked it because it means that it's ok to feel bad. and however bad you're feeling right now, you can survive. your survival is greater than your feelings, no matter how much attention they demand.
of course getting out of the feeling is something else.



motivating myself to do research is harder than i expected
when you feel like you're groping in the dark
it's like, i'm looking for something, but i don't know what it is. i won't ever know if i've found it. no one's going to tell me whether what i find is what i'm supposed to have been looking for. no one really knows where i am in the darkness and no one's going to go searching for me with a torch if i don't emerge ever.

but it's ok. feeling frustrated's not going to kill me (as long as i get my work done).
:)


♥



Saturday, 16 July 2011

Love is not a place to come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in and then commit to never leave


a song i've been thinking about since the last time i watched Fireproof. the show's primarily about the love between a married couple, and i suppose, so is the song.

but i think this song can also speak of our love for the fellowship. if there's only one Author of love then the basic nature of love stays the same across different types of love. and i don't think the love we should have for the fellowship was meant to be a weaker love than that between a couple.



So lock the door behind you and throw away the key
We'll work it out together, let it bring us to our knees


this is kinda what i meant about trying hard and not giving up because of love.
is this the answer to the question of commitment?

i love the line about locking the door and throwing away the key. to say, i'm here for good, i'm ready to face it all and work it out with all of you, so no matter how bad i feel i'm not leaving; there will always be a stronger determination to stay that overrides all i may feel right now.

isn't that the beauty of the vows, for better or for worse. so why should it be different for love in this case?


Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for



to say, it's precious to me and i'll work for it if i can have it in the end. to say, i am expecting it to be hard but i will work for it anyway.

and i think of Jacob working seven years and seven more for his love. she was so worth fighting for. shouldn't this love be worth the same, or more?


I will fight for you
Would you fight for me?

It's worth fighting for


i'm not saying that i'm there yet. i don't think i am. but i think this song challenges me to love the fellowship more, and in a different way.


♥



Monday, 20 June 2011

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy



When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home



- Blessings, Laura Story


♥



Saturday, 16 April 2011

IN THE EVENT OF AN EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS. This is an emergency but I can't lift my arm high enough to smash my way out. I haven't got the strength to sound the alarm. I want to stand up strong and tall, leap through the window, brush the shards from my sleeve... and let go. I can't let go because Louise might still be on the other end of the rope.


♥



Sunday, 6 March 2011

came across the lyrics of this song on facebook.. and loved it.


you are more -- tenth ave north

there's a girl in the corner, with tear stains on her eyes
from the places she's wandered, and the shame she can't hide
she says: how did i get here, i'm not who i once was
and i'm crippled by the fear, that i've fallen too far to love

but don't you know who you are, what's been done for you?
don't you know who you are?

you are more than the choices that you've made
you are more than the sum of your past mistakes
you are more than the problems you create
you've been remade

well she tries to believe it, that she's been given new life
but she can't shake the feeling that it's not true tonight
she knows all the answers, and she's rehearsed all the lines
and so she'll try to do better, but then she's too weak to try

(chorus)

cos this is not about what you've done
but what's been done for you
this is not about where you've been
but where your brokenness brings you to
this is not about what you feel
but what He felt to forgive you
and what He felt to make you loved


♥



Thursday, 24 February 2011

recess, what recess, i just want to breathe

and stop running around

even though there isn't anything i actually wanna kick out of my schedule this week
i mean i'm glad to do all this (minus the tests and presentation)
but.

my time feels so precious that i get annoyed with people who alight from the train too slowly.

sigh.


♥






sophia
my name means wisdom :)