Back to December All the Time

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, thats why they call it the Present.

Yesterday I submitted my thesis. Tomorrow I'll be sitting for the first paper in my last ever examinations in NUS. Half the number of examinations will be over by tomorrow. And for today, I'm a damned mugger. Some kind of present eh?

There are some things in the last couple of days maybe weeks that have been getting on my nerves. Its the sort of underlying attitude I sense from friends and close friends alike. Kinda a gut feeling. When conflict arises, how exactly do you solve the problems. For something has has lapsed for so long, is it right to bring it up again? Do you let bygones be bygones as if it never happened or do you simply apologize and move on.

On the topic of group projects, I think I feel more at ease doing projects with friends. Some may disagree, but I get this comfortable feeling that you know someone's got your back. Or if you left a certain part to a certain person, it'll turn out alright. I guess the biggest trouble comes when expectations differ. Some want to just get over with it, some wants that elusive A+ to be head and shoulders above the rest. You can't blame the person who's had enough of projects. But then again, you can't blame the person who wants to do better than the rest. Okay, rephrase, it may not be that the person wants to do better than the rest, but rather she sees the possibility for improvement, and strives for it.

Considering where my grades stand, I know I should be aiming for the best, and nothing short of it. Yet I find myself letting loose and lowering my standards. I have awesome group members tho, or at least the majority of them are awesome. We're able to finish our projects like one week in advance. But in fact there were room for improvement and I know it. I just didnt want to work on it anymore I had my thesis to focus on and that took up alot of time. Moreover, we finalizes and submitted the project already. I guess thats the difference between a work worthy of an A, and just above average. But nevertheless, I had a great time working with different people, especially since its in the final semester. I realised how little I know about them and how little they know about me, despite four years of being coursemates.

Somehow I've been unsure of myself lately.. I guess weird has become the new norm for me...

Sometimes someone shoots at you with a pistol. You get hit, and then realise that you are carrying a shotgun in hand. Yet, you do not fire. Why is that?