2006's eve

Spent my new year's eve with wee in the morning at Bugis doing our nails...

And guess wat??!!

My once disfigured left big toe nail is now normal!!!!
Cost me only $12 to be rid of the DEFORMITY I had been suffering for 10 over years!!!

Some of you may remember how my poor toe looked like...
I wished I could put a post here showing u the "BEFORE" and "AFTER" look of my once-deformed nail.
But I forgot to take a pic of it before the "operation"...
and didn't take a pic after the operation.
Coz I don't have a digital camera!
And I don' have an infrared port to transfer my data from the hp to my PC.
Sucks.

At the Bugis' "HOLLYWOOD NAILS", the nail techinicians(yes, that's what they label their profession as) are nice. Cute too. And very SLIM!
wee said they're slim because they work in an environment where space is a constraint.
And the boss chose to hire these slim nail techinicians so that they can travel easily to and fro to serve their customers.
Hmm. That leaves both me and wee out of the profession. And even BLH also.
Hahahaha!

Anyway, the service they've provided is rather good.
Just that the price is a bit exorbitant.
And one lesson I have learnt,
Always ask the PRICE before you agree to ANY services they are going to provide.

As much as I am satisfied with the service, the ambience and the major re-work on my toe nail, I can't help but feel "heartache" when I saw the receipt reading :
$22 - Manicure
$33 - Pedicure
$12 - Nail extension
$40 - Dr. G.

Total : $107.

Wah. TMD. Should have asked the price before saying "ok".
Wondering what's "Dr. G"?
It's an antimicrobial solution which is strongly recommended by the nail technicians.
It is said that the soultion would cure me of the fungus that has been attacking my nail bed.
Even when the doctor I saw 10 years back told me the only way to treat my dying nail then is to "surgically remove the nail and implant a cosmetic one".
and the alternative soultion is to take oral prescription for 6 months to clear the fungus which will not allow the nail to grow back naturally anyway.

Maybe things have changed over the past 10years.
And so has the price.

I consoled my "thinner-than-just-now" wallet, telling it that I feel pampered, and all the $107 was for a good cause! (to rebuild my battered self-esteem. think back of the umpteen times when my friends point at my toenail and said "eeee!! what happened to your nail??so ke lian!")

Yup.
Well, this entry should be about pre-2006, and it is.
Coz, now, I have new toe nail and pretty hands and feet to flaunt in 2006!
All for the price of $107.

Ring-Ring~~

Phones are longer the IN thing.
Think of when was the last time you were on the line juz for the purpose of chatting.
Not for business.
Not because of work.

Can't recall right??!!

Me neither.
Phones have become quite obsolete in my life.
The only devices I now seek for the purpose of communication are my handphone and PC.

And, the last time I used the phone to chat was when I lost my handphone 2 years back.
And before that, it was...
when I was working at Mcd's.

When this guy from Mcd's was after me.
Hahaha. (ya, I do have suitors one ok!)

Then I come to realise that the definition of the phone changes as I age.

As a child, phone = toy
As a juvenile = device to get into a clique of some girl friends
As an adolescent = device to know more guys :P
As an adult = useless piece of machine which adds to my long list of bills and add on to my load at work!!

Phones are becoming less and less utilised at home.
I used to have like 5 handsets at home, but now, I only have one which is alwaz under-utilised.

Over the phone, 2 persons(at least) are required to be involved in the conversation.
It would be like ...
Ring~~
"Hello? Can I speak to Ah Biu please?"
"Ah Biu? She went jogging liao! She so fat need to jog lah!"
"Ok, thank you! I call back again"
"OkOk, bye!"
"Bye!"
(Adapted from a known and true source)

If it were to be a handphone, things would have been different.
*Melodious ringtone~~
"Hello? where are you? Jogging ah? OkOk, I call u back"
End of conversation.
Wow, don't even need to ask for the person u want to speak to now.
Coz almoz everyone has a handphone.

Maybe it's more expensive to talk on a handphone=> shorter conversation.

*SMS*
"whr u?"
"jogging.call u back"

Simple as that.

If it were to be over the internet, on MSN...
x says...
"Yo, what u doing?"
y replies...
"I'm gg to jog"
Then silence for a period of time.
Next, "close window".
And the conversation juz ended like that without a "bye" even.

Maybe it's become less necessary for people to communicate so much.

Sigh~
The wonder of technology.
In an attempt to make life easier, it complicates our lives further.
Leading to miscommunication.
Misunderstandings.
All because we rely too much on technology and neglect the human touch maybe.

Distortions of the simplicities in life, I call it.

But I cannot deny the comfort and convenience it has brought about.
And I am one of the culprits who embraced it.
MSN-ing and SMS-ing. Etc.
And forgot about the old-fashion way of communication.
The phone.

Where you can hear the happiness or displeasure in the tone.
Where you can tell how boring the conversation is by the periods of silence.
Where you can hear what is going on behind.

You may say, hey, but there's the webcam now.
You can use it like a telephone and at the same time SEE what is happening over at the other side!!
But, don't you feel the invasion of privacy with the usage of a webcam?
It's equivalent to being watched.
I cannot get used to the idea (it's juz me lah...)

I think it should be high time that I pick up the phone and utilise it.
But when I pick it up, I realise, I do not even have the desire to use it.
For I have not much to say.

I have forsaken the phone for a more convenient device that can reach more in a shorter time.
I plead guilty.

the day the world did me wrong...

I dunno what I've done to deserve the pile of shit on my head.

It juz won't clear no matter how many times I try to clear it.

Why are all these things happening to me?
I personally think that I am not an awful person, and in fact, I'd to think I'm a very easy-to-get-along person.

Yes, I may be a bit "yim zim" sometimes, but I am entitled to that since I am a woman!

I dunno why these people keep picking on me.
Do I like have a "Please-bully-me" carved on my forehead??

Juz stop pestering me!
Else, I'll fight back!!( after I finish crying... that is...)

Singleton wish

For the past 6 years, I had not been single.

Well, maybe for a month or so in the past 6 years , I was single.

I dreaded it then, 'cause during that month, I felt miserable that I was dumped.
Technically speaking, I was not dumped. It juz ended on a less-than-hopeful note. (er, probably still in self-denial mode, but I really have gotten over it)
Emotionally, I felt betrayed.

Then I did something even more foolish.
I went out with a guy who was like 15 or 16 years older than me.
Juz to overcome my misery and loneliness.
But fortunately, things did not turn out well for us.
It ended after a short while and I almost plunged into depression again (cos I couldn't get over the previous relationship).

Shortly after, I got tangled into another relationship.
My emotional life buoy, as some of you may call it.
Yes, I admit I was weak.
I couldn't stomach the emotional toil I've put on myself.

Thereafter, I was never alone.
I mean, I never feel alone.
It was like loneliness had deserted me.

I had no time to feel lonely.
For all the spare time I have is in my new relationship.
I am thankful that things happened the way they did, but when I stopped to look back, I know some part of it should not have happened the way it should.

It should have been this way:

I met my guy when I was totally out of the past, and ready to start afresh.

I cannot deny the fact that I did use the relationship to pull myself out of the past ones.
I cannot deny that I was not rational when it happened.

All these were made known to the poor guy who had to suffer with me.
But he willingly took my hand and led me out of my darkest days.

It has been 4 years, 4 years since I was last single(but attached).
And as I recall, I was very well taken care of.

I am blessed to be where I am now.

But some part of me is misssing.
I've lost much of my personal traits as far as I can remember.
My shrewdness has left me.
And also my once fiery temper.

I've changed quite a bit from what I remember.
And I don't quite like the change.
I am very indecisive now and am often afraid to make mistakes.
Looking on the bright side, maybe I have become more meticulous.
Think in details before I act.

But I do not like the change.
I've lost my impulse!!!!
and together with it, my creativity too!!
Even my freedom.

And I was thinking of getting it back at one point in time.
I wished to be single again!!!
REALLY SINGLE!!!

I really wanna have my life back.
Going out with friends, working until wee hours, use the PC.
All without anyone watching me over.
Without anyone setting a limit or boundary.

I am tired of losing my privacy.
My freedom.
My solitude.

I missed the nights when I stayed awake till dawn juz to finish reading a novel.
I missed the times when I run alone in the park(ya, I do run occasionally!)
I missed the days when I shop at Orchard and no one tells me that I am overspending.

I wished I could just get all these while still in the relationship.

But, I can't.

I am tired of repeating what I want, and not getting what I asked for.
Maybe I am asking for too much.

Sometimes, it seems like the committment is weighing me down.
Sucking my life away.
Immobilising the stimulants to my intelligence.
If only you know what I mean.

My new gym ball!

Firstly, I'm still grouchy!

But, I finally sat down to open up a package I've received FOC...

Let's see...

I have ordered a Blender...a hair dryer (yes, i'm a homely person who likes to order home appliances!)...and a NEW GYM BALL!!

This BLH has one in her office. Makes me feel so jumpy and happy to be sitting on hers while I'm at work and won't feel so much of the "working blues".

Hers, is a REEBOK. I was promised a REEBOK too, but when it came, it was a "CRANE" because they had no more stock :(

but never mind, maybe the brand does not matter. It's the quality that matters!
So I opened it...

A small package for a 75cm-diameter gym ball...
Came with a straw like plastic piece, 2 stoppers and some kinda of a screw which is also a tube.
Hmm...so where's the pump for blowing the gym ball up?
Dug into the small box again... Mei you leh!!!!!

Oh NO...hmm...nvm.
It's time like this that the instruction manual comes in handy...
So I carefully place the folded gym ball one side, but wait.
It's sticky. Oily also. And it kinda smells!

Nvm, read the instruction manual first to find the solution.
Flip Flip Flip.
Wah piang!! All in Italian/German/Dutch!!!
Win already.

Problem 1 : No pump to blow up the ball => cannot use
Problem 2 : Ball is sticky and oily => also cannot use!
Problem 3 : 3 unknown plastic pieces provided => lagi cannot use!

Win liao loh.
My anticipation for the past 2 weeks had juz been distinguished.
So dampening! On a Christmas day!!

I decided to take things my own way and make it right!!!
Hence...I blew it up.
Yes, with the 3 unknown pieces of plastic provided and my "long-windedness".

Took me 15 mins to blow the bloody ball into shape, with some visible wrinkles still.
And the bloody ball still stinks.
With the oil and rubbery smell that wouldn't go away.

So I brought it to wash...
And the oil seemed to go off a bit...
But it's till sticky!!!
Yucks!!

how in the world did these people tricked me into ordering this bloody ball which I wasted so much of my breath in?
Do you know the amount of carbon dioxide I put into the bloody ball can raise a plant into a big and tall tree??!!!!

Anyway, I spent the next 30 minutes of my supposed-to-be-joyous-christmas cleaning the stoopid ball.
But it still smelt at the end of the day.

Darn.

Can anyone tell me if this happened to them when they bought their gym ball???
If you have a gym ball, does it also have a funny smell when you first got it??
So what did you do to remove the rubbery smell??!!!!

So infuriating!!!!!!!!!!!

:-S

Afternote : I am sitting on my breath now. No hissing sound so far. But still sticky. And I feel a bit yucky to be on it. Eeeeeeeeee!!!!

I need some P-E-A-C-E!

Been feeling terrible lately.

And I don't even know why.

There's just a tinge of sadness in the air around me all the time.
I feel sad.
Depressed.
Frustrated.

Am not in depression.

And I snapped at everyone at work today.
At my boyfriend too when he wouldn't let me use my PC (coz he was hogging it!)

I can't figure out why.
I dun like it when I feel this way.
Irritable.

So, steer clear off me for the next few days.
For, I think it'll take some time for things to clear up abit.

Sigh~

BEWARE!!!
Dun agitate me!
Or I'll probably slap cream on your face!

Weddings!

Wow!

Juz went to Meiyue's wedding at OCC.
She's so pretty.
Well, every bride is pretty maybe,
but Meiyue is especially pretty tonite.
she was bleaming with happiness!

She looked so pretty that we were all worried about messing her up if we were to hug her.
And so, we did not get to hug the beautiful bride.

And we are all so happy for her.
Yes, my friend of 10 years has entered another phase of her life.
While the rest of us are still entangled in singlehood.

I'm sure most of us still embrace this singlehood thingy, for it juz seems like yesterday when we were still students in school discussing about studies (ya, like real! more like we were discussing where to go after school!).

The numerous weddings I've gone to for the past weeks had obviously not dampened my singleton spirit.

For I enjoy the pleasure of marking "Single" on the boxes.
"Number of children" marked 0.

How long will I still be able to mark these favourite terms of mine on the application forms?

I do not have an answer to that,
and am not in a haste to reply that.

For, I am still SINGLE and loving every bit of it!
:P

P.S. : Dear MeiYue, I am so happy for you to have found someone you can share and spend your life with! I wish you a lifetime of happiness! Love ya!

TraumA

I am pretty traumatised by what had happened.
And I blame myself for not reacting fast enough.
Even when I was at the scene, I couldn't react to the situation.
Too stunned by what I saw.

Worse, I brought someone who was not supposed to be up there to witness what I saw.
Anyway, the matter has passed.
And the only consolation that I have is the learning points that I can draw from it and knowing my level of readiness to respond to emergencies need tremendous improvement.
I am upset with myself for not being able to react in a way I should have...

My heart goes out to the injured parties who must have been greatly traumatised by the incident.

When I visited the casualty, she appeared to be strong in front of the vast numbers of visitors who had already visited her.

Yet, somehow, it appeared to me that she is badly affected by the incident(which can be understood).
Then she started to blame others for responding too slowly.
And for neglecting the casualties.
I can really understand her grudges against everyone else who should have done what they should have.
Because it really happened.
And most of us were too stunned to react properly.
But, it has passed.

Then it comes the part when she has to relive the horror and re-tell the story over and over again to unknowing visitors.
Thoughts that went through during the incident.
Her next course of action.
How she was going to get out of the situation.
How she can protect herself and others from incurring more injury.
Who came to her rescue and who didn't.
Who should have done what and what was not done.
Who did not help her and who did.

Yes, I can understand from her perspective.
She is probably the kind of person who will blurt everything to anyone as long as she does not feel "shuang".

Least she could have done is to be more objective when re-telling the story.
And not adding perceptions of her own which probably may end up becoming perceptions of those who were not there.

I really feel for her, but hearing what comes out from her is rather....
And the sympathy and respect that I initially have for this person is somewhat reduced.
At her age, her maturity and EQ level is really not-so-high.

But I admire her courage to speak in such a tactless manner, cos even if it means to jeopardise her career, she'll probably still voice out her own opinion.

I feel bad about not having to be able to react as I should, and am guilty as charged.
What had happened really shook the "take-it-for-granted" attitude off me and made me more wary and cautious of my surroundings.

I ought to reflect and think of ways to improve myself.
And prevent such things from happening to anyone ever.

Youngsters nowadays...

I think I am aging.

Not physically(ya, I know I MAY BE, but am still in self-denial!).

Here's what happened that led me thinking to my aging self:

I was on my way home on a jerky bus today...the bus driver was speeding all the way. Suddenly he stepped on the brakes and everyone almost fell forward!

I was lucky and held on to the railing. The girl behind me took a big step forward and nearly fell onto me. But she hit the railing in front of me instead. Just then, the 2 guys behind her also fell forward and landed "zhun zhun" on her.
How convenient.
I thought, maybe it was just an accident that they so happened to fall near her bosoms.
So fine. Didn't wanna raise any false alarm.

Then the journey continued with the reckless bus driver speeding thru the expressway and SCREEEEEECH!!
Again the bus jerked!
And the incident repeats itself.

I couldn't help but pitythe poor girl behind me. Appeared to me that she is being harassed.
So I whispered softly to her about the 2 guys' act...

She was shocked, but thanked me gratefully for warning her.
Then she began to chat me up.
From where I was heading, to what school I have attended.
I suspected she felt uncomfortable as the bus was squeezy and she had no other space to move to and thus sought comfort in conversing with me.
So I played along.

Eventually, we both realised that we were both from the same JC!
Just that I have graduated 7 years back while she is still waiting for her 'A' levels.
Darn. Heaven is unfair.
But never mind, seems like she lacks the maturity I have (I hope!)

She was all excited about us being seniors and juniors and insisted that I gave her a "high-5" on the bus with 30 pairs of eyes watching 2 strangers talking.

Being the good-natured and kind me, I joined my palm against hers and attempted to look "un-awkward"(I know there's no such word...)

My God! What was this little girl thinking?!! Not a very mature image I am trying to maintain!
Anyway, we got off at the same bus stop and I walked her to the MRT station as it was rather dark. She was all keen about talking about her hoildays plans and wanted to share with me. However, she decided to summarize as it's a loooong plan.

Wow...Hoilday plans = DO nothing.

Anyway, she asked for me hp number and wanted to keep in contact.
In an attempt not to appear rude, I gave her my number and she insisted on giving me hers.
WOW. Can see this girl fitting perfectly well in the job scope of an insurance agent.

Tsk~
Youngsters nowadays seemed different.
Back then, I probably wouldn't chat people up unnecessarily.
Youngsters now seems to accept the idea of "making more friends" everywhere.

And, their lingo is somewhat really different from what I used.
Gosh!
I'm really getting old.
I think youngsters now are far more adventurous, but have lower EQ .
they really need to polish up their EQ if they wanna survive in this future harsh environment.

Again, as youngsters, they never listen to advice.

So, who am I to advise them when I am not even their mommies??
sigh~

I think I should go and sleep now 'cos it's beginning to sound as if I am talking rubbish...

zzZzzzzZzzz

Pre-2006 Resolution!

Today was a farewell party for one of my very dear friends.
Not only was she a dear colleague for the past 1 year of my career, she had also held the honorable "post" as my informal coach, my informal mentor, an inspiring and motivating peer, and an "entertaining" partner at work.

I cannot thank her enough for the knowledge she selflessly shared with me, and the numerous times she offered her helping hand and listening ear whenever I needed it.

As I look back, I realised my knowledge would not be as adequate as it is now should she selfishly ignored my doubts at work due to nonsensical reasons like, "she's so chuo2!", or "she's so demanding! asking questions as if I owe her $$!"

Fortunately for me, things turned out well since I was attached to learn from the best.

Yes, the knowledge is out there, and how much you wanna learn depends on you.
But when there are uncertainties, who can you turn to for clarifications?

I seek to renew myself and remove all personal misguided views against new staff.
So that I can offer them what I was offered and become valuable assets to our workforce.

My 1st 2006 resolution:
Guide new staff like how I would want to be guided regardless of my perception of their personalities

Guilt-stricken me...em..

Today I was tasked to invite some people to a mini-farewell party at a friend's place. And there are some pain-in-the-ass people that some of us are unwilling to invite...

And hence...as I typed in these people's name in my "new memo", I began to feel a little guilty.

What if those who are not invited found out that they weren't invited??

What if some trying-to-be-funny people tell those who are on the hate list there is an upcoming party and they are not invited because they are deliberately left out?

Wah piang.
What a shitty task.

But never mind.

Being the "lowest-ranking", I'll have to accept the task.

Sigh.

I pray the "hate-listers" will never find out.
Not because they'll hate me after they know I didn't invite them, but because I don't wanna break their hearts after they realise they are on the hate-list!!!

I think these hate-listers don't even know that they are actually being disliked by so many.

'Coz they fail to reflect upon themselves!

Always think they are right some more!!

But our SPO community is a forgiving and gracious one when it comes to our own people.
So these hate-listers will never feel it even if they are being "ostracised" in one way or another.

kekeke...
I like the SPO community's culture...
we never backstab, and we don't gossip.
We provide opportunities for them to reflect and resolve! All by themselves!

:D

Oops. I forgotI titled the blog as "guilt-stricken me".

Looks like I'm not feeling that guilt-stricken afterall!!

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehah!!!!

:P

The 10 things to note when u are NEW...

Being new means...

1) Being (and looking and sounding) humble when u ask questions
2) Asking INTELLIGENT questions (at least ask questions which won't make u sound stupid)
3) Asking questions in a way that people can easily comprehend w/o having to guess what u actually wanna ask
4) Being proactive in seeking clarification
5) Pretending you understand the "chim chim"things in a briefing/meeting (after that then ask the profound things you didn't understand to someone you trust!But ask in an intelligent way!)
6) Keeping your mouth sealed when people is in the midst of answering your question
7) Looking thankful (say THANK YOU!) when your questions have been answered after u asked
8) Appearing as if you know what your clients are asking u (but telling them u'll need time to check before getting back to them)
9) Asking the correct person at the RIGHT time when you have tons of burning questions to ask
10) Smiling ALL the time to people around you to appear SOCIABLE and APPROACHABLE!

Being new is not easy.

And there's being quite a number of newbies at work lately.

I remembered how hard it was for me when I first started out here.
Everyone ALWAYS look busy.
No one seems keen to ENTERTAIN my queries.
Worse, I don't understand what is going on, and when I finally grab hold of a person to ask, my answers were: You can find it in the PC mah!

The PC.
A place where all data are stored.
Where no one can seem to find the information they need as there is just too much info without a "SEARCH" button.

Sigh.
I blame on myself for not looking humble enough.
or pretty enough to receive such treatment.

Hence, I resolve to not to treat all newbies the way I was taught.
The hard way.
Which help me learned a lot more than I would have learned.

But giving them the easy way out i.e. spoonfeeding them with the information makes the newbies vulnerable in future.

Perhaps I ought to devise a way to balance between spoonfeeding and self-directed learning.

Or perhaps, I'm not a good trainer since I tend to complain how dumb the newbie can get.
Hmm...

I should reflect instead eh?
:D

one-point-six-one-eight = PHI !!!

Measure the distance from your shoulder to your fingertips,
Then divide it by the distance from your elbow to your fingertips.
1.618

Try measuring the distance of your hip to the floor and
divide by knee to floor.
1.618

Unconvinced?

try your finger joints. Toes.
1.618!!

PHI (pronounced as 'fee') is the Divine Proportion.

The fundamental building block in nature.
Plants, animals, and even human beings all possess dimensional properties that adhered to the ratio of PHI is to 1.

Take for example a spiral seashell.
The ratio of each spiral's diameter to the next is 1.618.

The number of females and males in a honeybee community.
The number of female bees divide by the number of male bees in any beehive is 1.618.

Amazing??

Well, actually, I am reading "The Da Vinci's Code" by Dan Brown and the above info was extracted from the book.

It really got me glued to it the moment I started reading it.
And I even feel SMARTER after reading it.
Even though I'm only at Chapter 34 (out of 105 chapters).
I think my English got better too after reading!(hahaha!)

And I ponder over the creation of the Universe.
Was it as describe in the Bible?
Or was it just Evolution?

Hmm...
If it's Evolution, then Nature sure did(or is still doing??) a perfect job in its selection of the best.

Otherwise...

Hmmmm...

Tell me what you believe in...
I'm sure you thought this through before?!

I'm Back!!!

Whoa...

Been a while since i update my blog...hehehe

'Coz I've been on leave!!
dun be envious, u can too!!
Just apply leave lah...

But i think i'm gonna regret when I see the piling work in ofice tomorrow when I step in.
Well, for now, let me enjoy first!

Just watch "Star Awards 2005" on TV.
WOW...
Wonder how my Fann still looks so stunning even after 10 years.
It's like she haven't aged!
And look at the caldecott queen...
a bit haggard after childbirth eh?
Nevertheless, she has done Singapore a great deed (by adding 1 more count to our tiny population!)

Hahaha...I am a true blue Fann FAN~~!!!(even after another 10 years!!)

:D