Procratination at it's best!

I am on the computer just about everyday, but you think I would come on here and write something....of course not! So now that I am here I can update everyone on everything going on in our little life!! Let's see...Adam and I are still not back together. Like previously stated we have somethings to work on in ourselves before our family can be happy, loving family. We are working on things and hopefully some good comes of it, but only the future will tell. Here's to hoping and praying.

Emma is crazy!! She turned two the end of December, and I will admit my heart broke a little bit. My baby is growing up and I can't do a dang thing to stop it! But even if it hurts a little to know that I have a two year old running around, I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful, smart little girl to be in my life! I love her more then words could ever describe, she makes waking up in the morning...even the mornings I really don't want to get up, worth while! So for her second birthday we had a little party at Granny Sue's house with all her cousins, Aunties and Uncles! However, others were missed due to the crappy weather we had that day. She got a bunch of Belle stuff, I should had that she has become crazily obsessed with Beauty and the Beast! I bought her a tricycle, which of course she loved and all the cousins had to have a go at it too!! We ate some delicous cupcakes that I made of course with pink icing and princess sparkles on them!! She had a good birthday party! Hopefully next year the weather will be a little more cooperative so that everyone can make it and not just those who are already in town! BUT! I sure can wait for her to turn 3!

As for myself, everything is going okay. I am a little nervous about being a mother of two but I know I can make it through it. If I survived one just fine I'm sure I can manage two!! Work has become a bit of a chore due to my getting sore much sooner then I was before. I've had lots of groin, hip, pelvic and back pain the last month or so....Doc says there's not much we can do, the pain will go away when baby Josh isn't in there anymore! Go figure, I have to suffer for two more months! oh well, it'll be worth it in the end.

Emma and I recently moved into my moms place. Not exactly were I wanted us to be right now but rent is far to expensive for me to afford on top of paying for bills, grocery, and any other things that need to be paid for every month. So Mom was nice enough to let us stay here while I apply everywhere imaginable for low cost housing. Just a few more things need to be done for that I can submit all my papers in and hopefully we'll have a place before April! Hopefully! Would be nice to be able to set up home and get Emma back on routine before I have to worry about getting another baby into a routine! Just would be nice to be at our own place, and I'm sure Mom and Dale would be glad to get us out of there house too!! It's nice to have family that will help you out even when they really would rather we figure things out on our own...but I guess in my favor having a kid and another on the way made them feel bad for me or something!! haha I'm kidding, they wouldn't let us end up somewhere else anyways, they would see Emma and I less then!!

So as for baby, we found out that we are having a boy! Which I am pretty excited about! It'll be nice to have one of each, if I decide that this is it for me procreating then I hatve one of each! Perfect!! His name is going to be Joshua John Allan Monte McCoy! I am really hoping he arrives a little sooner then his due date of April 11 (that's what the doc says anyways) I am hoping more for the end of March, first week of April! In all honestly if he was able to be born right now and come out perfectly fine then right now would be great, but he can incubate a few more weeks. I'll survive! Josh very much likes to kick my bladder and pelvis...why I'm not sure, they seem to be his favorite spots. He is still feet down, obviously, which is okay..for now.. the other night he was been adventerous and was moving around and ended up under my rib cage and boy did it hurt! So really for now I will sufice with the kicking my pelvis rather then my ribs!! He is growing like he is supposed it, Doc says he is the right size and his heart rate is excellent..a little girly (155 and up) but good! I can't wait for April to get here so we can meet our little man. Emma is even excited! She pats my tummy every day and says something along the lines of "Baby Josh, hurry up!" She's even started called her babies "Josh" We went shopping the other day and she wanted to go to the baby clothes, pointed at some little boy sleepers and said "baby Josh?" It's cute! She's going to be a great big sister and little mommy!!

What else has been going on...hmm...Adams mom, Sue, gave me her old mini van! Which was super awesome of her to do! It needed some things fixed before I could drive it, so Dale being the nice guy he is, had it all fixed for me before Christmas! So now, I finally have my Ford Windstar! :O) I know, who gets excited about owning a mini van!?! I love it though, getting Emma in and out is soo much easier then having to do it in a two door car! It'll be nice as well when Josh gets here!

I could tell you a little bit about Adam, from what he's been telling us and what we've seen. He lives in Lethbridge with a guy he works with, about 5 minutes away from his job. Which he says it great! He has recently stopped smoking and is doing an awesome job at it. Says it's hard some days but he fights the urge and moves on! We are proud of him for doing this. I just wish it wouldn't have taken him getting sick or in pain to try to stop, but he is doing it and that is awesome! We see him just about every weekend, which is nice wish it was more but every weekend is better then not seeing him at all! He says work is going good, has it's good days and bad days just like every other job but he likes it there. He has been sick with bronchitis again, which sucks because I always seem to get sick when he does so hopefully this time aorund I don't! I don't want bronchitis again!! He's feeling better with that too, his doctor gave him some meds which work wonders!! Well...that's about it I guess!!

Well I guess that's it, I don't have any new pictures to post yet. They are all on my computer and I don't have the internet on it, so when I have time or I just simply do it, I'll load them up to a disc and get them put on here so you all can see what's been happening lately!! May take a few weeks but you'll see some soon! XoXoXo

When people say that every pregnancy is different, I always say that I know. Well this time I can for sure say that I do know! So far, this pregnancy has been soo different then my first, it's crazy!!

I'll start at the begining of everything that has been going on, especially for those of you who I haven't really said anything to about it. Well, on Friday night when I was driving home from work, I started coughing (keep in mind I've been pretty sick since Wednesday) and coughing really bad that I pulled over twice before I got to pick Emma up from Tim Hortons where my mom was. On our way home, I started coughing more again and it felt as though I had peed a little from all the coughing, so I didn't think much of it. Got home, put Emma to bed, got in my pajamas and went the bathroom, my usual bedtime routine. Well when I went to the bathroom is wasn't pee, it was blood.

The only thought that ran through my mind was that I was losing our baby. So I called Adam in hysterics and told him, I don't know how he understood half of what I was saying between all my crying and coughing, but he got it. My mom came over for a bit that night, which was nice that i wasn't sitting at home by myself going through this. Well to say the least, I had the worst nights sleep of my life.

In the morning, my mom called and asked if anything more had happened, I said no, asked if I was cramping and back pain, and I said no. Then she said we need to go to the hospital because a miscarriage usually have some serious cramping and back pain, which I didn't have, so there must be something else going on to cause my bleeding. Well that was a bit of a relief.

We waited in the ER for 4 hours! My mom left for a bit to go a funeral and my Aunty Tina came and sat with us. Which was nice to have someone else there with me and Emma. It was soo busy in the ER, but I felt fine so I wasn't too worried when ambulance after ambulance kept bring people in, and there was a few old men having heart attacks, so I was okay with waiting...even if it was the longest wait of my life to find out if the baby was okay.

Finally when we got to see the doctor, he asked me all the same questions mom did about cramping and what not, and I said there was nothing just bleeding. By this time my mom had returned and my Aunty Tina left and the doctor was bringing in a bedside ultrasound machine. We got to see the baby, and it's heartbeat. The weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt much better, but still didn't explain the bleeding. So the doctor said he would set up an emergency ultrasound for me on Monday so that we can figure out what is causing the bleeding. Like the doctor said, you don't bleed for nothing!

So Monday, I went for my ultrasound. Was squeezed in between appointments, so was no really set time for me to get in. I had to drink the hundred cups of water and sit for almost an hour with a beyond full bladder till I was able to get in to see the tech! The tech checked everything out, and told me there was no tears, nothing wrong with me that would be causing the bleeding, however...she said what it looks like was that when the egg implanted into the uterus it implanted on a blood vessel and burst it. Go figure my baby already gave me bruises before it was even alive! She said the bleeding was stuf behind the egg till now, and she thinks that with all the coughing it caused it move enough that the blood was able to come out. There was no other reason she could come up with that would cause the bleeding other then that. Said everything looked perfectly fine. Until she looked at the baby.

She went and got another tech to come take a look, she said the baby itself was fine but there was something that she wasn't quite sure about. Well I was glad baby was fine but what the heck did she find!! So the other lady came in and they talked there "tech talk" and then she proceeded to tell me that we were not 12 weeks along, that the baby was much too big for being only 12 weeks, that we were atleast 15 weeks. Umm okay.....then she said that she thinks that we started pregnant with twins and we lost one beause there was a seperate place on the placenta which looked like another placenta that didn't not grow (obviously if there was no baby in there) Umm Crazy!! Then she said if that was not that case that I was pregnant with twins at the beginning and the space was not a seperate placenta then there was a band on the placenta and we would be having a few more ultrasounds then normal.

Well the twins part makes a little more sense to me considering I thought we were only 12 weeks, not 15, and the dates that my LMP was are exactly 3 weeks apart. Which makes total sense, so I am seriously hoping that is all it is, because the things that I found online that had to do with a band on the placenta did not make me feel very good. We go see our doctor on Thursday (tomorrow) so I will be asking her a million and one questions about it all! I bet she's looking forward to our appointment!

So needless to say I have had a week from hell, yesterday I found out that I have bronchitis and cannot go to work for the rest of the week because it is a very contagious virus and with me working in retail I do not need to get anyone else sick. So Emma and I have spent alot of time at my moms house. The last few days actually! It's been nice having someone to help me out with Emma, especially when I get coughing alot of am soo tired from the lack of sleep. Hopefully they don't get sick...well other then Dale, he always seems to get sick when I do and vice versa! It's inevitable that he already has it! Sorry Dale! Emma so far hasn't gotten sick, knock wood but I think it's coming unfortunately, that's the joys of having her around 99.9% of the time.

So, Emma has been trying to use her potty lots lately, she has yet to pee in it in the past week, but she sits on it and says "Done" flushes the potty and leaves...even though nothing has happened! She doesn't like getting her diaper changed, which really is a pain and I just keep telling her if she doesn't want to get her diaper changed then she needs to use the potty. Soon she'll get it. I'm in no hurry for my baby to become a big girl. Even though I know it's coming. Next step is to get rid of her sucky, which already seems to be a chore. I am not looking forward to when I start that.

Adam and I are still not "together", we are woring things out slowly, which as been kind of nice. We are talking more, hanging out more, just things that we had lost in our chaos of life. We are hoping to have things back to normal by the new year so that we can get prepared for baby to come and spend some much needed quality time with our Emma before a new baby arrives.

Here's to hoping and praying that nothing else goes wrong for me or anyone. That we will get through everything that comes our way, no matter how difficult it is.

Some serious updating!!

Wow, it's been forever since I've been on here to write anything! Either my life is just crazy busy or I just procrastinated soo long! Oh well, I'm here now so...this is either going to be super long or super short. We'll see how much I want to write!!

Okay, so let's back track a little here, my last post was the end of June! Holy....okay I may leave some things out so bear with me if I forget something that included you!! haha So let's start with July...

So July, on July 1st we watched the parade at Justan and Celena's place (my brother and sister-in-law). Was fun, Emma love the horses!! She would get excited as soon as she would see one coming down the street! At one point Uncle Justan took her out to the road to see if he could get some candy, everyone would throw candy at the people beside us but never to us! So he tried, but no one threw candy while he was out there! He even tried with Brooklynn but still to no avail, but I think he did end up stealing a couple pieces from the kids next to us! The afternoon/evening of the 1st we got to celebrate Daxton's 1st birthday!! Was lots of fun! All of Daxton's cousins were there, so Emma had so much fun playing with a bunch of new kids!! After all the craziness of the party Emma fell asleep with Uncle David, which was pretty exciting because she isn't used to him quite yet. So we of course took pictures of this!! That night we watched the fireworks at the rodeo grounds. We stayed in the car because of the horrible bugs outside. Was okay, however Emma only watched the first few minutes and fell asleep! So I had to hold her and try to look out the window of the car to see the fireworks. Was pretty uncomfortable! But she thought they were pretty cool!! There's probably more stuff that happend in between all of this but I can't remember off the top of my head!! July 15th, beautiful little Makayla was born! I don't remember what time but the 15th to my cousin Cassie and her boyfriend Kody. Martha was soo excited to have a baby sister!! July 31st was Adam's friend Brians wedding! He married a girl named Brittney out here in Raymond. Adam was one of the groomsmen. Which by the way he looked pretty darn good all dressed up if I do say so myself! There wedding was beautiful, colors were so nice together. Everyone looked good!!

So now for August!! August 1st we celebrated my Grandpa McCoy's 80th birthday!! Was a lot of fun. We got to see family we have not seen in many years and Adam got to meet more of my extended family!! Finally got a picture of Emma with her Great-Great Aunty Emma!!

August 5th we went to the RCPM Musical Ride in Milk River. Was a very interesting day! Emma was soo excited to go, I kept telling her that we were going to go see some horses!! The first performance that happened was with the police dogs, and she loved that because of all the dogs. In between the two performance we went for a walk and saw the RCMP mascot, Emma wouldn't let me get within 10 feet of him! So we didn't get a picture, Brooklynn did okay until she realized what was beside her!! Then when the horses finally started coming down to their preformace, she was soo excited until they got close to us! I have never seen her move so fast in her life to get away from something that wasn't even coming to her!! We were sitting on small bleachers, I want to say 4 rows, I was sitting on the 2nd row, Shirley was a few people down from me and my Grandma was sitting behind me. Emma went from me to Grandma Shirley to Great Grandma! She cried and cried, until she finally realized that they were not going to get her, then she sat there and watched. At the end the horses lined up around the arena for people to pet them ask the RCMP guys questions, etc...well we had to walk by three of them to get out....not so fun! Screamed the whole way through!!

August 9th, my cousin Nick welcomed his little man, Kohnner to the world. We are all pretty excited that we finally have a boy on the Graves side!! The end of August Emma and I went camping in Writing-on-Stone with my dad. Adam unfortunately had to work all week so he wasn't even able to come down for the day. Emma got to sleep in a tent for the first time this time camping!! Was lots of fun, she thought it was pretty cool!! We spent a lot of time at the river, playing in the water. One night, my dad and I tried to take pictures of the hundreds of bats that were flying around! I will say that those suckers come really close to you! Stupid bugs that have to fly over our heads!! On our last day, Shirley, Sandra and I went tubing down the river. Was soo much fun and I finally got to even out my tan!!

Also, the end of August we found out that we are expecting baby number 2! Was a big surprise, but we are looking forward to having two beautiful babies! Emma seems pretty excited about a baby, she pats my belly once in awhile and says "baby in there" So cute! She's going to be a great big sister! Everyone, especially Adam, is hoping that this one is a boy! But there are a few that hope it's another girl! I'm indifferent, a girl would be nice due to the tons of girl stuff we have already, but a boy would be nice because we already have a little girl! We'll see! On the 18th of October we get to hear our babies heart beat for the first time! I am pretty excited!! Right now, we are ten weeks and are due the end of April.

As well, the end of August became a bump in the road for us as well. Adam and I have split up and are hopefully going to get things in our lives straight and get everything figured out before baby arrives. Adam moved in to Lethbridge with his friend Brian and his wife Brittney. It's been hard not having him around, but he knows that we love him and miss him and hope that we will be a family again soon.

September...well September 5th, my cousin Robin finally had her little girl, Berlyn! We were all excited of course but she lives soo far away that we won't get to see her till next year, but it'll be worth the wait! I started working full time at Thyme Maternity and have been enjoying working there. However, the working so much is starting to tire me out, but being pregnant doesn't really help that out much either! Emma and I moved in to a 6plex in Raymond just down the street from Sue (Adam's Mom). It's been exciting, we have a full place to ourselves and Emma just loves that we have a little deck that she can play on! That's been her favorite place in the house since we've lived there! I still have some unpacking to do, but working all day and being so tired at night...it'll take me another month to get it all done!! But it'll get done and I won't have to worry about moving for a little while!! Adam went to his 'Disturbed' concert in Calgary this past weekend, he said it was soo awesome! Bought some stuff, of course!

October 1st, Patrick and Lynsey had there little guy, Carson. We are all pretty happy about that. Emma thought he was pretty cool, wanted to hold him and carry him around! Such a great helper! Hopefully it doesn't take me another 4 months to get back on here and update everyone on the wonderful life we are living!!