电影

虚构的情节都不是真实的。

无奈的心情谁能知。把悲伤化成一片空白，把一切化成灰。

爱，往往是充满了创伤。泪水充满了多少的痕迹。

Conversations

"You really shouldn't learn the bad things from your father," she said.

He replied, "Yes, but does he have any good qualities?"

"He has a good heart," she said with a tinge of sadness in her voice.

"What good did it do for us? Him being the kind person that he is, always kind to outsiders but never for us!"

She knew he had inherited his father's delicateness, a tender heart. Over the years of disappointment, he had wrapped his heart behind a wall. She loved her son and it pained her to know that he had to live like this.

"We are all kind people, nobody can take that away from us," she declared after some thought.

"Right, what good did it do for us? We are always being taken advantage of."

Knifed

An unfathomable heart-wrenching pain.

Hello old friend.

I never thought I would see you again.

I was wrong.

Utterly destroyed all faith, hope and love.

Smoke and mirrors.

Co-Working

I'm alive. Somehow. Not sleeping much. Trying to complete my deadlines. I'm glad I shifted out of the bedroom and rented a desk at a co-working space. I don't work crazy hours everyday anymore, I can focus better and knock off earlier (most of the time). I get out and I meet interesting people at the space, people from different countries and working on different things.

Today I had the pleasure of speaking with someone from Munich who does music production for orchestras. It's been two months since I moved in and it was the first time I met him. We talked about how music crosses cultures, how orchestras are adjusting their business models to keep up to date, and how we are so blessed now to listen to anything we wanted.

I'm glad I'm getting out and talking to so many people, a far cry from that shy introverted boy from the past.

Things at work are picking up, and I'm planning for the next step - but first, to write a manifesto and business plan.

I'm so thankful that things have really picked up. I must not lose sight of the aim.

Saigon, December 2014

Fifteen years ago, a younger, self-occupied and pretentious self stepped out of the concrete jungle he called home to embark on a trip to Vietnam. Under the pretext of community service, we delivered books and writing materials to a school deep in the mountainous region of Lao Cai. The rest of the trip ignited a wanderlust that continued to haunt me till this day - we trekked through the hills of Sapa, walked across freezing streams, rode pillion on motorbikes down the winding routes and talked to the local Hmongs. We crossed the land via trains - sleeping on uncomfortable decks, the tracks rumbling as we tried to prevent ourselves from knocking our heads on the ceilings. The tungsten street lamps lighted our paths as we zipped through the old town on trishaws. The smells and sights familiar to me; the rancid whiffs of urine, sewage and pork in the air - a reminder of my childhood in Chinatown. 

We had banh mi on one of the mornings at a local eatery, the room filled with the raucous sounds of a foreign language; from the window we could see the streams of people moving past on their bicycles, ring-a-ding-ling. I had not developed a liking for coffee at that age, but I could see the locals sipping their jet black coffee from cups that only traditional stalls used back home. We visited monuments, museums and behaved like how pubescent young boys did (basically goofing off). It was on this very trip that ignited the love of exploration - something I'm grateful for, especially for our teacher who brought us to a land he loved, rife with history and culture; away from the staid classrooms that stifled our imaginations.

For years, I resisted the temptation to revisit the land, afraid that my perfect memories would be tainted. Development came fast to Vietnam in those years - having abandoned a planned economy for capitalism. Bicycles were replaced by motorbikes as a burgeoning young middle class emerged from the shadows. Vietnam always beckoned, yet I resisted; a faint notion of romanticism, a nolstagia.

In October this year, as we planned for our annual getaway in December, we thought of diving in Philippines. The threat of monsoon (which actually became a reality) forced us to choose somewhere not too far yet reasonably priced. The cheap flights and supposedly good weather in the south of Vietnam were compelling reasons for us to book our tickets three months in advance.

We spent a good six days on a beach in Phu Quoc, soaking up the sun and just winding down from an extremely hectic year. We walked along the beach at night after hanging out for a few hours at the beach bar, stepping over blue fluorescent algae that washed to shore with each lapping wave. Just as the rains started arriving, we departed for Saigon, having received our dosage of vitamin D.

Landing at the airport not far from town, I slowly took in the sights of the city as our taxi weaved among the throngs of motorbikes. In many ways, Saigon resembled any other South East Asia, filled with haphazard planning and congested roads. The streets bustled with the roar of motorbikes, street vendors hustled passerbys and a number of construction projects littered the capital. I was back where it all started, albeit that it was Hanoi's old world charm that spoke to me more. Nevertheless, it felt somewhat surreal to feel the life of the city beneath my feet.

In Saigon, we stayed mainly in District 1, hardly venturing out of the area because we realised that there was just so much to discover! Contrary to what the naysayers told us, we found the city to be so amazing, so full of life, a mix of European, American and Asian flavours. Prior to the trip, quite a number of people remarked that we were spending too much time there, Ho Chi Minh City is a boring place, they warned.

Here, we could feel the growing excitement for the future as the inhabitants went about their daily lives. We loved the coffee culture, sitting right by a busy junction, drinking overtly sweet coffee, just watching the world go by. At every street corner, an enterprise took root, capitalism wholly embraced by the people.

Despite the craziness of the city, we found spaces that we could just disappear into. At the cosy Italian restaurant that we went to for dinner (Ciao Bella), the enthusiastic maitre'd served us authentic Italian food which tasted better than most of the restaurants we had back home. The simplicity of the dishes, coupled with the fresh ingredients made the meal truly memorable. (The easy to drink Sicilian wine helped.)

Another night we had French food at an unassuming restaurant, its interiors a copy of any restaurant you find in Paris. Run by a local family, it was popular with French expatriates here. Even now, a week later, I can still taste the aromatic and delicious French onion soup, the melted cheese on top of a crunchy crouton. I hardly write or rave about food but this place just reminded me of France (and I have never been there).

We walked everywhere we went and found this jazz bar on one of the main roads in the city. Curious, we popped in after dinner and heard talented musicians and singers belt it out on stage. It was unbelievable how a few metres away from the entrance was a road teeming with scooters. As we sat through the songs, webfelt our souls lifted up by the amazing singers, transporting us into another era and another time. What a truly magical experience!

After the bar closed (too early, I must say), the French guy who played the guitar directed us to the backpackers' district as we wanted to experience another slice of Saigon at night. We were totally not prepared for what we found there - rows upon rows of tourists and locals sitting on tiny chairs by the roadside, drinking bottles of beer that cost less than a dollar each (24,000 dong for 2 bottles!). We found a spot and sat there people watching. The Yakuza-like guy covered in tattoos opposite us gave us a false sense of comfort. Some white guys peddled helium balloons for people to get high on and I seriously felt revolted by them. A fight almost broke out sometime into the night but it was really tame compared to places like Bangkok.

Saigon has undergone so much transformation in the last decade and a half. It is a city so full of possibilities (and hipster cafes). With a large population under the age of thirty, the rising middle class would bring along more wealth and demands on the city's resources. I am keenly aware that there could also be potential business opportunities there. After experiencing a tiny part of this crazy little city, I think I have fallen for Vietnam's charm once again. Things may be different now but I am excited to discover more.

Feet

The pitter patter of little feet running.

Scuttling.

After a blanket of insecticide.

Roaches, everywhere. Unseen but heard.

Sunshine

Thankfully, things are finally turning around for the business. Lots of new projects, learning how to phase my cashflows and keeping a healthy amount of work around the schedule.

Tinkering with a new idea, and learning how to outsource low ROI work via geographic arbitrage. Simple research and data gathering is farmed out. Everybody wins in the end.

I was just musing the other day, in a way, this is my 4th venture - I remember the time when I started cobbling Flash animations and websites while in JC, shooting for a living throughout most of university, the failed venture of starting an algorithmic trading company and the current iteration back to cobbling websites and more advanced web-based systems. I love what I do but I know that this ain't it.

More to come soon, as I build another business while helping people build their businesses online. Lots of lessons there too, rapid development of skills.

Thankful for the wonderful people who are still supporting me. :)

Short Reprieve

Haven't updated in a long time. Been busy chasing projects and rushing deadlines. It's absurd how much time is spent accomplishing so little, hence a rapid rethink and reiteration of the business is on hand. I found out a new meaning for the acronym ROE - return on effort. Some entrepreneurs that I have met are like me, working crazy hours and yet not having the kind of relative returns that we expect.

In this new phase, I am seeking to increase my returns and reducing my efforts. More automation, more outsourcing, less hours spent actually working.

Random Autobiography Entry

"We were so poor, I'd be up programming late into the night and cockroaches would brush their feet against my toes"

Boldness

A thickening of typographic weight.

A leap into the unknown.

Unsexify

Late night conviction.

Some local tech startup conference is ongoing now with countless people attending and cheering for the next new thing.

However, I have learnt and determined that being in an unsexy but profitable trade is well...more worth the money.

One day the stars will come crashing on these high-flying start ups that just do not have any viable long term plans.

Aren't they all chasing after the proverbial goldmine? Many didn't survive.

Had an interesting meeting this afternoon to determine if we can provide a technology-based solution for a potential client. It's an industry that you know of but never really thought about. However, it definitely has touched your life in more ways than you can think. Despite the annoymity, it garners an 8-figure turnover annually, employing more than 100 employees. Now that's impressive.

Because honestly, there can only be one Facebook, Google, Apple or Whatsapp. That twiddly start up working on some app to enhance some experience will crash and burn if it doesn't even know when the next dime is coming in.

I would rather solve problems for under looked industries. Perhaps it's time for a pivot.

Killer Coat, Mix of Thoughts

Countless paths each day to choose:
1. Watch TV
2. Exercise
3. Sleep
4. Read
5. Swim
6. Eat
7. Work
8. Pray
9. Work
10. Work
11. Work
12. Work
13. Sleep

What do you choose?

Was talking with a photographer who didn't like the works of a friend. I obviously jumped to the defense of said friend, "You do not understand the works."

"Yes, photography doesn't work if you have to read the artist statement."

Rolled my eyes. I think an appreciation for more cerebral work is only in the domain of a selected few.

While shooting, he often talked to himself about which lens or aperture to use out loud.

My process is different, I ask myself, what am I saying. What will the viewers see.

I waited 5 minutes for a cockroach to crawl into place and a cat to move across the frame. I needed that to illustrate something I felt about the place - disgust perhaps.

I need to have more patience when talking to people. I think I definitely am more patient these days.

Opportunistic. Yes. Perhaps.

This weekend, the sea.

Nothing

In this period I have nothing but everything. 

I am truly happy.

Instincts

There are times in business when the head rules but there are also times when one should listen to the gut.

Today I met a potential client who had some issues with their existing service provider. After much observation and listening, I deduced that the client and the other party were probably at the end of very toxic work relationship and they really should negotiate for an amicable "break-up".

However, something in my gut kept nagging at me when enquired on how I would be able to take over the project and the kind of services that I could provide. Perhaps after enough experience with people over the years, I have learnt how to identify signs of clients that are horrible to work with. So I quoted prices that were high and longer lead time because I knew that the client would balk at those prices.

As this was an invitation by an agency that was trying to work with them, I later discovered that in fact, the contract between them were not signed and the client was looking for a cheaper price. This was further confirmation that the client would be a nightmare to work with and I made the right move not promising anything.