Just A Little More of Nothing

Guess I have been placing too much pressure on myself, choosing to define me as a person through my work.

Obviously, I have not been making much progress in terms of the bottom line but I have done a lot more independent research, walked down a couple more paths, which end up being windier, longer and full of obstacles. Well, more than I had expected anyway.

Haven't had time to update, working 12-15 hours every single day is a quick road to ruin. The environment itself is supportive but somehow, I still feel that something is lacking. I don't know what, maybe a shining beacon of guidance, a helping hand.

Almost on the verge of giving up, then I snap back, trudge more, gain additional load on my shoulders, lose more, crush my psychological capital, thinking of giving up, snap back and continue moving a step at a time.

It is the insane who repeat performing the same task relentlessly hoping for a change in results.

Happy 01:12:12 01/12/12

Happy birthday to me. 28th.

Just crossed the halfway mark of my grand 5-year scheme.

Along the right track but nothing much to show for yet.

The other day the best friend and I had a conversation, he noticed the expensive watches donning the wrists of our friends. Simply, both of us while motivated have yet to reap rewards yet.

I am not ashamed of being poor, at least I have nothing to lose!

Tomorrow, Another One Enters The Harrowed Corridors

Another one of our beloved brothers, YK, will be going through another ritual in adulthood by getting married to his sweetheart, Ros, of seven years. Here's wishing the new couple a blessed marriage and may their new life together be one full of joy and laughter. It would be a full day of raucous, sweat and adrenaline rushes.

In the run up to the final toast, I am looking at a 24-hour period of non-sleep (due to work and wedding rush beginning at 0430h). Quite a painful process, if you ask me. Not sure how many cups of coffee and Red Bull will be needed.

When I get married, it's gonna be held off a beautiful tropical island, with my guests flown in and non of that typical door-banging, convoy-ferrying rites that everyone else has. Having participated in more than thirty weddings (shoots, brothers'), I am seriously developing a phobia of all the extra bells and whistles that come along.

So Long 2011, Hello 2012

Year passed within the blink of an eye. Lots of ups and downs this year. Earthquakes around the world, floods, typhoons and revolutions across the Arab states. Sounds like a year filled with turmoil but light is always at the end of the tunnel.

Managed to get out of the job rut that haunted me for most of 2010, only to meet a roadblock and then a new lease of life. Crossed a major research milestone and will be deploying some strategies that I have spent two years developing in the new year. Fingers crossed for that one.

Just came back from a one-week trip in Laos, where I mainly lounged around drinking Beer Lao and looking at the amazing scenery there. Happy happy times. Would like more of this - great company, of course.

Health-wise, didn't really fall sick but the episode with my slipped discs did bring lots of worries, need to take more care of myself.

Looking forward to 2012, exciting year ahead. 2011 was a watershed year where pivotal events may turn my life around. 2012 will see a continuation in momentum, hopefully in the right direction. I was correct in sensing the breakout from a rangebound year previously and in this new year, I sense that things will be working out (finally), I just need to keep myself focused on the right track in various aspects of my life and not neglect the most important things - health and relationships.

Here are some 2012 resolutions (hardly kept mine for 2011 but doesn't mean I can't try again):

1. Work hard on tweaking my strategies and become consistently profitable

2. Spend more time with important people in my life, now that I am working the European/US shift

3. Exercise more! (Been putting on some weight)

4. Stay healthy and keep an eye on my energy levels, sleep more too

5. Stay positive, regardless of what life throws at me

6. Spend time each week on reading something beyond my work scope and spend quiet time away from technology to think

7. Spend more time working on creative projects

Here's wishing all of you a mind-bending awesome year ahead!