The Fray - You Found Me

I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?"
He said, "Ask anything".

Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
It never rang
And all I needed was a call
It never came
To the corner of First and Amistad

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

I'm ready to sell my soul now.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter.

What Do You Want In Life, Really?

And that questioned stumped me.

Despite all the time I spend thinking about it, I have yet to come to a true conclusion.

Fact is...after all these searching, I'm no where near the answer.

Note

Dear Parents,
If you have noticed (okay, maybe you haven't because both of you were not home the entire week), I have been less than enthusiastic about my current unemployment situation. Maybe it's causing you some worry but I think I'm handling myself very well now. I'm working on a few side projects, which could potentially grow into some more. (Plus, I am getting paid for my work.) I don't know about you but I think that it is more important for me to pursue what I enjoy right now than putting myself at a desk-bound job doing something I hate. Most of the jobs out there do not appeal to me because I am unable to satisfy my immense obsession with Excel (the numbers program, in case you forgot, which I tried to teach you). Those jobs that could possibly meet that need are currently being contended for by countless of experienced hires. Hence, it would put me in a very bad mood if I was to get a job for the sake of having a job. (I already have one, okay, more than one.)

To put your fears at ease, I'm suggesting that I give myself six months (to the end of this year) to make something out of whatever-the-hell I'm working on right now. At least I haven't felt so free and liberated in...the past 25 years that I've been alive!

Your (not so) loving Son.

Inaction

Sometimes I wonder if I'm truly practical or my head's really stuck too far up among the clouds that I fail to see things?

Am also under the impression that I live in much optimism, especially when it concerns future streams of revenue.

Hope never killed anyone. Inability to take action does.

Is There Anything Good About Men?

Interesting read about the differences between men and women. It begins on a humorous note, asking why women are simply, more lovable than men. It also provides new basis for understanding gender politics and inequality.

Essentially narrows down that gender motivation is the cause of the huge disparity in income/creativity/science+math ability. And that the variance is caused by statistical fallacies, more than anything. Surprisingly, human population is descended from twice as many women as men, based on DNA analysis. This means that 80% of women reproduced and only 40% of men did. Hence, leading to certain evolutionary traits developed by human beings over time.

The huge difference in reproductive success very likely contributed to some personality differences...Women did best by minimizing risks, whereas the successful men were the ones who took chances. Ambition and competitive striving probably mattered more to male success (measured in offspring) than female. Creativity was probably more necessary...sex drive difference was relevant: For many men, there would be few chances to reproduce and so they had to be ready for every sexual opportunity. If a man said “not today, I have a headache,” he might miss his only chance.

Essentially, men and women have different social relationships, women contributed to nurturing the next generation while men just tried to kill each other. So what are men good for? 1. Creating large social networks. 2. High risk, high payoff activities, e.g. protection of women/children, warfare. 3. Prove themselves, hence providing more for the family, re: more high heels.

Logically it makes sense but it still doesn't answer the basic question that bugs all men, why is it so hard to understand women?

[The argument becomes less convincing further down the article but I will let that slide. I'm too sleepy.]

Memories Faded

Slowly we forget
The reason of being

Moments, emotions
fade into oblivion

What remains

The intricate pain of forgetting
and remembering

Clearing Skies

It's good that it rains before I wake up at 6 am everyday. Although there are no more roosters crowing here at obscene hours, I find myself waking up early every single day. And I sleep promptly after twelve, which is a really good change. I hope to maintain this, of course.

Past few days been filled with a whirlwind of activities and looks like it would continue to be like this for the rest of the week and some parts of next. (Sounds like some weather forecast)

While the bank account looks dejectedly at me, I can only pray for the better. I'm sure things will look up pretty soon. Got a few leads for jobs and I'm seriously at a lost. Everything sounds good but which sector will I achieve the most in? Also, contemplating about finally registering the little business that I've been running since I'm rather free (relatively speaking) now.

Alright, got some trading programs to write, a website to design and some photo stuff to be done! However, there seems to be a slight imbalance in the brain chemicals today and it's nagging at me.

Perspective

Nothing puts life more in perspective than a mate's announcement of his impending marriage. OMFG!

And there I was, less than a week ago, sitting on foreign soil looking at stars and thinking, "Oh how nice it is if I could just roam the world with no care or worry."

I was even contemplating that it's way too young to settle down, there's still so much of life ahead and somebody has to get married.

We've finally reached the stage where it's time to start our own little (worthless) lives.

OMFG.

The dream has ended. And it's not looking that bad yet.

I've got lotsa things to clear on my to-do list and I've already plowed through quite a number of them since I woke up. Swim at the pool was great.

Now, time to clear the head and bring it down from the clouds.

Time to start planning, time to start saving.

Goodbye, sweet youth. Hello, life.