The Year Behind and Ahead

Time of the year to say farewell to the last.

It's been a terrifically crazy year, accomplished feats that would have left a lesser person dead. Kudos to the ego that's me. Did relatively well for the term despite having to juggle work, school, presidency of my club and personal stuff. There were days when I felt like giving up but didn't, I'm glad I pulled myself up and moved on.

Travelled quite a fair bit this year and I've gotten back my rolls from Cambodia. Can't wait to scan them in next week. Think I've got some pretty good shots. Heh.

Next year will prove to be yet another bountiful year, I hope. An exhibition in the planning, my last term as president, more school work, plans for a trip to East Europe during summer, lots more work (hopefully) to earn enough cash and also to bring my photography up another level. Will have to start on my efforts to create a more substantial existence in the local scene for photography, which means I have to get my website up soon.

Here's to a great year behind me and a greater one ahead! Happy New Year, dear friends. =)

Home and it's raining

Touched down a few hours ago and was shocked to find out that a relative passed away. Will be busy with the funeral rites for the next few days. Shrugs. That's life, I suppose.

Cambodia was fun though I got bored after a while. Southeast Asia is pretty much the same all over. The smells, the noise, the people and the omni-present tuk-tuks. Cambodia, on a whole, is still trying to catch up with its neighbors. Mention Cambodia and most people would only think of Angkor Wat, land mines, Khmer Rouge and street children. This is true to a certain extent but during my stay there, I found most of the people to be friendly and are trying to eke a living with whatever they have.

Despite the countless child beggars, land mine victims and poor displaced people begging in every town, I could sense a certain willingness of the people to move on. Capitalism is rampant; one finds young children (though I suspect syndicates or parents to be behind them) selling stuff every where, the Chinese community owns most of the businesses in every town I visited, countless street hawkers selling the same stuff and lots of people trying to sell tourists souvenirs at Siem Reap, the persistent motordup and tuk-tuk touts everywhere (though the frequency and tenacity dropped as our wardrobe got dirtier).

Hence, I decided to concentrate my efforts to document what I saw - this pulsating life and vigor in each place I visited. From the capital Phnom Penh to the small town of Kampong Chnnag, I had a slice of the modern Khmer life. I resisted the temptation to show the world more photos of poor street children, amputated beggars, more Angkor Wat (and that of Ta Phrom with the kapok tree's root overarching the doorway), monks walking through temples/praying etc. I turned my attention to the people and I hope I managed to create something worthwhile, despite being mainly a tourist (I did visit all the must-sees I could manage).

Hopefully, the negatives will be returned with the results I see in my head now and I can present a more positive side of Cambodia to the world. I had fun learning how to speak Khmer (got kinda decent with it, sure helps during travels to the outer provinces), trying out some of the food (didn't like it.), visiting a floating village on the Tonle Sap lake and watching lotsa cable tv at the different guest houses. Though I was predominantly grumpy the whole time, I guess I did have fun, just that Cambodia is pretty much like the rest of Southeast Asia and I had set my expectations a little too high for its exoticism.

Packed

All packed and ready to go. Getting pretty excited thinking about the trip, traveling is fun when everything is so unexpected. It is perhaps one of those rare times in my life when I am truly spontaneous and going with the flow.

You're young only once, and before you hit the workforce and end up as an automaton working 9-5 each day, it'd be wonderful to experience the diversity of the cultures on Earth.

Internship? Nah, I will do it after year 3. Till then, I must travel as far as I can. =)

Will be home in two weeks' time. I wonder what life-changing experiences lie ahead...

Learning to Feel

I have always been a detached person - detached from the world and other people. I find it hard to put myself into other people's shoes. Relationships with people seldom go beyond the surface, and only with a select few do I manage to go beyond.

I live in a world of logic and reason. The head rules over the heart. I'm desensitized to a great deal of things. A plea for help would probably fall on deaf ears.

And now, maybe I need to learn how to feel for my photography to grow. I would need to learn how to integrate a given scene's emotional impact on me, and transform it into a part of my memories and the viewer's experience.

I have no idea how to proceed but I guess things have to be taken step by step.

That would hopefully make me more human, less machine. Maybe then, I will create something that is more powerful than anything I have ever done thus far.

End.

Exams have officially ended. Been helluva term, I must say. I think results would probably be worse than the last, steadily dropping each term. lol.

Oh well, next year will probably be even crazier. For now, I'm glad to be going for a trip even though I am officially very broke. Need more jobs when I get back. Bum.