Bugger

End of the month equates to an insipid wave of low morale. Especially after I tally up my expenses and revenue and the figures don't look very rosy.

Even if I feel down, I have to struggle through this. Somehow, I hope that my luck will change and I meet better people with more appreciation for what I do. The road to success comes with lots of hardwork (and perhaps dumb luck).

Swamped

Once again I am swamped after much procrasination and refusal to work.

I need to complete:
1 x Web project by next week
1 x Database project in two weeks' time
1 x Meeting with school authorities regarding an exhibition in school
2 x Sets of namecards to get printed
1 x Client's work to edit for print by this week
1 x Client to meet tomorrow afternoon
2 x Photo assisting jobs (ad hoc basis)
1 x BBQ this Saturday

Argh. And that is not including the club stuff that needs to be settled but I can't seem to put my finger on what needs to be done.

Great.

Everything Is Illuminated

Yesterday, I decided to rent a video and lucky me found Everything Is Illuminated hiding in one corner. It's based on a book with the same title by Jonathan Safran Foer (which I have read) but the show went straight to DVD here. I haven't watched it and I really hope it's not absymal. It stars LOTR hobbitt, Elijah Wood, so it shouldn't be too bad right?

Recently, I find myself rather uninspired to photograph. And when I do, I find the images poor in execution. I wonder what's happening... I need some inspiration (and I see countless images on a daily basis!).

Once again, I find my habit of leaving work till it's urgent coming back to me. Bummer.

Sighing Trees

After a hard day of coding, I am wishing for 6pm to come. Recently, my working ethics have been bad but I realized that in the corporate world, it doesn't really matter as long as your performance is right on the mark.

And that is why I spend at least 2 - 3 hours a day surfing aimlessly at work. Haha. I hit the required target I set for myself for that day while keeping the final objective in mind. But office work is boring after a while.

Then again, my idea of fun is very much different from most people. ;)

Giant Walking Screw Up

I'm a giant walking screw up. Period.

I'm not very good with knives and cutting straight lines.

I need to go buy more mounting boards again.

And I haven't gotten to applying the glue.

I'm sure my pictures will end up crooked.

Where's the bloody undo button?

Nausea

Vomited 3 meals out of 6 the past two days and having bouts of diarrohea, which kinda sucks. I hope the body recovers tomorrow morning.

I hate that people label me as a camera-man, merely a tool-wielding technician. A photographer, who knows his worth, is much more than that. He is an artist, in his own right, and also a businessman, if he aims to earn a living through it which is a sad thing to do. Selling out is a subversion of one's passions and yet, you must be shrewd enough to understand the market forces and how everything else will affect your business.

To those people who want me to cut my rates, I would just ask you to leave. I know my self-worth and I will not sell out.

Boredom Fighter

Everyday at work is a day spent watching the clock. It's unbearable to have to work 9-6 everyday. I cannot imagine a life like that in the future.

Just discovered the Encarta bot on MSN (been on the mac for too long). Must think of quirky questions for it!

yh says:
do you smoke weed?
Encarta® Instant Answers says:
None for me, thanks.
I'm high on life.

So what do you want to talk about besides drugs?

Anyway, broke month ahead!

Woes of a Struggling Artist

When local clients approach me to do a certain job for them, they typically have a very skewed view on what is involved behind the scene. For example, they may think that for a photoshoot, all I need to do is to set up lights and just click the shutter, and a miracle is formed. Hence, they come in with a specified low-price budget and expect a lot from it. The thing is that if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys and they would shit on your head.

You can't expect to pay very little and expect a lot right? A familiar tactic that clients use would be, "Could you lower your price as there will be future opportunities for us to work together. If you give us a good rate, we will be more likely to ask you again."

Of course, many would balk at such a request, thinking of the future income that could be reaped from such a deal and slash their prices. Here's what will happen on the next assignment with the client, "Could you please lower your prices as we feel that it is too high? For your last job with us, you delivered well but we think that this current job doesn't entail such a high price."

So what happens next? Do you stick with that client and continue delivering work at a rate below what you used to charge. In fact, because of such a "good" rate, you get a few recommendations from that particular client. He sends you his friends who all have the impression that you do good and charge cheap. You get many requests but each asks for low prices. You cut back on costs, get cheaper equipment, don't pay too much attention to detail and get irritable. You are working harder than you used to but why does the money seem to get lesser?

Are you being fair to yourself then? What I have learnt thus far is that one should have an uncompromising view on where one stands. If you think that you are good enough to charge that price, never ever cut into what you pay yourself. A typical quotation would include rental and other expenses. Cut back on those instead. And if the client complains, just say that you had to scale down on quality due to the price. But never be nasty about it.

And if big clients come your way who are more than willing to meet your price or higher, you would gradually move up the pyramid. Instead of being stuck at the base (low-paying, high volume work), at least you can slowly move up. And you would have freed up more time to pursue your own personal work, instead of haggling over the price. When you have to deliver, you must ensure that it is work of the highest standard and no compromises in terms on your own expectations. The high quality generated would ensure future jobs from that same market and allow you to move another step closer to the next level.

That said, if you find yourself being rejected by too many clients because of your high price, maybe you have to review your portfolio and your prices. The wrong market positioning would cause more grief than anything else.

Since everyone is in business, we all want to cut costs and increase profits. However, there must be a time when cutting costs wont necessarily equate to bigger bucks. The choice is yours ultimately, to hang in there waiting for bigger jobs to come or do some cheap ones before the big one arrives. Never ever fall into the trap of undercutting yourself, it would be hard to climb out from that hole.

Dreamscapes and Escapes

A magnificent castle transformed into a smaller church-like building and a mechanism that made the land surrounding the castle to fall away, causing the sea to rush in. Waves formed as high as ten-storey buildings but quickly died down before the new building, a reflection of the meglomaniac's will. I shudder at the sight of the crashing waves that came close, yet never reaching us.

Traveling back in time to see some friends in school. We could interact and talk with each other but because I was from the future, their brains did not register my being there. The neurons could not form links with the now-me and the then-me. I was quickly forgotten, like dreams disappearing in the morning. I walked among them but I was unseen. It was very sad to see how they had changed and how many had walked away from me.

And there were other distractions within the long narrative, things that are unmentionable and things that cannot be remembered.