Hope?

That little boy at the window. He has the most intense eyes and he stares through me.

What does he want?

It is cold outside but I am warm inside, looking at the little boy; he nevers takes his eyes off me.

Why are we even alive?

I cannot fathom his thoughts.

I am just staring at the little boy at the window.

I'd Have Spent A Life Time With You

Good bye my lover.

Is this really the end? Admidst all that fireworks and the moribund festive spirits?

Skipping Lessons

Went late for my 830 class because I overslept and I skipped my econs class at 330pm to go gym. I am glad that I did that because the class is a total failure and I'm better off studying it myself. Trained till my legs couldn't take it anymore, they were simply shivering even though I was just standing. Think I am scaring people in the gym with my 140kg squats. Haha, it feels good to be strong again. =)

My aunt's mother just passed away and I took a cab down with my mom to the funeral. Things weren't ready yet, the coffin arrived shortly after we reached. It's rather sad to see the festive season marred by this. I remember vaguely about her; she was a very nice and jovial lady. Always had a smile on her face and spoke to me in Cantonese. Think that was years ago. Things just happen, I guess. You can never predict what life will throw you next.

While sitting beside my mom, I saw how the skin on her arms are getting wrinkly. My mom's age is catching up, perhaps I should talk to her more but the years of alienation cannot be easily brushed aside. Suddenly, I am reminded of our mortality and I wonder what happens after death.

Deep Dark Realisation

Though it might not seem to be a very good time, I suddenly feel that I might just be goddamn mediocre. There's nothing spectular, nothing great. Then again, the world is filled with mediocre people but I had always thought I wasn't one of them. I thought I was special that I was smart and good at everything I do.

I think I thought wrong.

Sunday Blues

Monday blues always hit earlier than they should.

I lost my stupid cable for my camera on Friday during my school's grand opening. Got some shots of the Prime Minister but I guess they are not allowed online. Lol.

Flipped through the papers in the morning and I was rather taken aback by the sudden explosion of so many issues regarding the new Budget in February. This time round, I suspect, as the General Elections are round the corner, the Government is trying to make use of the Budget to increase support. Hence, more coverage on what the Budget will be like and more slamming of the Workers' Party on their new manifesto (quite a joke, I must say). Ah well, the Gahmen wielding their clout over the media. =|

Pictures on Walls

See some works of graffiti scribbled on walls.

Most of them don't make much sense, just mindless vandalism but a few are rather poignant. I am especially touched by the simple "Remember Me" sprayed in red. It was someone's little message to no one in particular of his/her own existence, a mute cry to the world.

And there also funny ones like, "I'm not a slut. I just can't say no." Lol.

A Million and One Things

It's only week 3 and life has gotten extremely hectic. There are so many things to complete on time and so little time. It feels kinda hard to breathe. The only respite is the few days of exercise I get each week, working out to take my mind away from so many things. The clanking of weights, the pounding of my feet on the ground and the face of concentration when I am lifting 110kg of squats. I am so weak now - mind, body and soul.

What happened to the peace that washed over me just a few weeks ago?

Why am I doing all these? What's the purpose in everything that I do?

Friday's Sun

There is sun today! The monsoon winds seem to be have blown the rain clouds elsewhere but would this last?

Had quite a fun time checking out Ministry of Sound last night. The place is glam and I am impressed. The drinks were kinda diluted and the DJs were pretty boring. But it is a school bash so I guess they thought we would be less discerning consumers. Shrugs. I adore the 70s-flavored room - with its space chairs and bubble swings. I wonder how the cleaners keep the all-white futuristic pure room so clean. Do they scrub the walls and floors everyday? There several areas that were out of bounds with grumpy security standing guard, preventing some over-zealous party goers from entering the VIP lounges.

Fun's over and it is back to reality for me. One year older and closer to my grave. :| I think I will be freaking out soon when I reach 30. !!!

Happy Birthday to Me

In order to make up for last year's disappointing 21st birthday, I have been celebrating my birthday for the whole week. lol. Tomorrow will be the school's bash at MOS, the funkiest place in town now. Hopefully, it'll all be good.

Just saw that KK has started on his own a photo a week project. While I am tempted to follow suit, I question my creativity and the dearth of subjects to shoot here. However, I hope to start on my project in school soon. Somehow inertia has rooted itself, much like everything else in my life when it comes to working on new things. Still looking out for studio courses to attend, just missed the start of a course over at MICA. Darn!

Steve Job's Keynote

Hop over to Engadget for Steve Jobs' keynote address at Macworld 2006.

The maestro has just announced a new version of Tiger, OSX 10.4.4.

And like all the pundits have predicted, he has just revealed the new Intel-Macs. Starting with the iMac with dual Intel processors. Apparently, it is running 3.2x faster than the old iMac. Everything looks the same at the same price!

The Powerbook no longer exist as it is renamed to the MacBook Pro (argh?!), running on the Intel core duo at 5 to 6 times faster than existing Powerbooks. It comes with iSight built right in just above the display and of course, all the latest updates to the existing suite of programs i.e iLife, iPhoto (now with photocasting), FrontRow.

Gosh, that makes me just want to change my Powerbook right away but I guess the bank doesn't really agree with me. 5 months old and already a dinosaur! :(

Rain, Rain, Rain

It has been pouring non-stop for the past few days and sunny Singapore has been reduced to a poor replication of dreary London, sans the vibrancy of life. I have been looking at rain falling outside the glass windows of my school library, hearing it hit the tarmac while at the gym and feeling the cooler weather caused by it. I just hope it stops soon. I need to go for my jog tomorrow morning.

While listening to my studiolighting.net podcast, Clay Enos has struck me as a very interesting commercial photographer. Check out his portfolio and also his blog for some inspiring portraitures.

Squeeze

Spent much of the day reading, it being raining and all. Did some exercises at home and watched some episodes of American Dad. It is funny how Americans can laugh at themselves and their goverment without being slapped with a fine or thrown into jail.

I've got class for the next 3 Saturdays, no thanks to all the holidays we're having so far. And frankly, I don't really enjoy the idea of going all the way down for school. Sigh.

My brain's kinda mashed up now. Can't seemed to be able to create anything. Bummer.

In Need of Some Creative Rejuvenation

Maybe it is the familiar that causes our eyes and minds to be closed to the extraordinary; the numerous HDB flats lining the scenery outside as we cruise to work or play, hardly stimulating anything within the soul. Was watching this travel documentary on the telly and I was struck by the beauty of the Peruvian countryside. How could one's mind ever be numb when stimulated by such marvels all around?

Then again, maybe it is just me lamenting the lazy creative eye and transferring it to the lack of wonder around me. I think another trip should be in the pipelines soon, perhaps to something more exotic now. Just that, I don't know where I want to go and if I should go alone or not. Maybe a homestay would be a most enticing offer, allowing me to immerse myself in another foreign culture.

There might be changes to the look of this blog soon. While I am pondering of expanding into an URL of my own, the amount of work required kinda puts me off. And also for economic reasons, I think I would be sticking around here for quite some time.

First Day

School begins and I went to the new gym. It was good and I think I will be spending quite some time there in the future.

While on my way home, I was very disturbed by this middle-aged lady who sat beside me. She was airing her left armpit and exposing her straggly hair to the world. I felt quite uneasy; trying not to look in her direction but from the corner of my eyes, I could see those squirming follicles waving. It was unnerving, it was rather disgusting but I could not bear to stand up and ask her politely to cover her pits. As a matter of fact, my brows are furrowed as I am typing this.

When I left, I quickly sneaked a quick glance and felt even more uneasy. I guess it is human nature (or just me) to want to look at disgusting things even though they disgust us. Have you ever came across someone so ugly that he/she repulsed you but you couldn't stop staring? Why do we even torture ourselves. Human beings are just weird.

p.s. If you want to comment on my flickr account, you do not need to sign up for a new account if you are already a Yahoo! member. So please do comment!

Happy New Year

It's the start to a brand new year and what lies ahead is rather exciting and daunting at the same time. The celebrations get milder as I grow older, a sign of changes in lifestyle and goals. Had a small catching up session with my old classmates. In another few years' time, we would all be in different social situations and things will be totally different. But the new year is always a good place to start getting in touch with people you have neglected the whole year through.

Check out my new flickr page. Leave comments, sign up for flickr, spread the message, do whatever you like.

Spent last night editing the photos and obviously the web photos are of a lousier quality compared to my muthahuge psd files!