Took me an hour to colour in this picture as well as doing some touch-ups. Was lazy so I used mainly gradients instead of vectors to depict shadows and depth. Drawing was easy because most of it was scanned in from a pen drawing. Enjoy.
Thursday, March 31
Wednesday, March 30
Spent the better half of the afternoon learning css. While I've been using it for quite some time, they're just text rendering tools. Now, I'm learning how to further harness its power in positioning and of course, cleaner webpages sans tables within tables.
Tomorrow I'll walk out of the darkness and go sign up again at the recruitment agencies. Seriously need some money.
Tomorrow I'll walk out of the darkness and go sign up again at the recruitment agencies. Seriously need some money.
Tuesday, March 29
Monday, March 28
My father and his two brothers are top-rate snorers so I couldn't sleep last night. There weren't any mosquitoes (surprise!) Ended up getting a good tan when I went to visit my grandparents' grave. Had to dig a drainage system with an extremely small entrenching tool because there was some flooding. Met my cousin whom I hadn't seen in two years and he has grown taller than me! Argh...
Had two hours to shoot photos in the plantation behind our quaint bungalow. The weeds have overgrown and some of the oil palms are termite infested. The whole place had quite a variety of insects, especially grasshoppers but too bad not enough time!
Slept on my way back to Singapore and I'm kinda recharged. Photoshoot tomorrow is postponed, phew. I wonder how I could ever survive if I had to wake up so early with the amount of sleep debt I had.
Had two hours to shoot photos in the plantation behind our quaint bungalow. The weeds have overgrown and some of the oil palms are termite infested. The whole place had quite a variety of insects, especially grasshoppers but too bad not enough time!
Slept on my way back to Singapore and I'm kinda recharged. Photoshoot tomorrow is postponed, phew. I wonder how I could ever survive if I had to wake up so early with the amount of sleep debt I had.
Saturday, March 26
Remembrance of Ancestors
Gonna leave for Malaysia in a while to visit my grandparents graves. Haven't been up there in ages. My dad says we're staying in our house there which I have not been to. It's like right smack in the middle of nowhere and a huge plantation behind. Expecting lots of mosquitoes and of course, things to photograph if I have the time. Cheerios!
Gonna leave for Malaysia in a while to visit my grandparents graves. Haven't been up there in ages. My dad says we're staying in our house there which I have not been to. It's like right smack in the middle of nowhere and a huge plantation behind. Expecting lots of mosquitoes and of course, things to photograph if I have the time. Cheerios!
Friday, March 25
Macro Experience
First part of this morning was spent taking the macro shots below. Since it's only my second outing with my close-up lens, I'm feeling rather incompetent and frustrated at the results I'm getting. Depth of field is too shallow. Camera blur is very certainly there. Need more patience for this. Another outing perhaps. Phew.
First part of this morning was spent taking the macro shots below. Since it's only my second outing with my close-up lens, I'm feeling rather incompetent and frustrated at the results I'm getting. Depth of field is too shallow. Camera blur is very certainly there. Need more patience for this. Another outing perhaps. Phew.
Thursday, March 24
Woke up early to go for a photoshoot yet again at the forested area near my place. Had to prone, crossed a river and got bitten by mosquitoes, very much like outfield. Aru called me halfway through and said that I really missed outfield or something. Lol. Unfortunately, since it's my first foray into macro photography, most of my pictures are out of focus and the shallow depth of field at f8 is totally sickening (I want proper camera and lens!). So sad. Bumped into a metre long cobra on the way back and I think it was more scared of me than I was of it. Lol. Might post some pictures later...but then again, I think they deserved to be deleted. Haha.
Wednesday, March 23
When it's just you and the tarmac your shoes are pounding on, the weirdest things go through your head. While the sweat gets into your eyes, stinging and blurring your vision, you wish you could just stop. Yet, you continue your momentum, spit spurting out of your mouth like you were a mad man. You pass people, people on bicycles, people in bus stops, people walking their dogs and you think, I hate them. Especially those that stink when you pass them, they probably never showered in years. And then you struggle for the last stretch and you're free. Your heart pounds and you are covered in sweat.
You wish to return soon to torture yourself again.
It feels good.
You wish to return soon to torture yourself again.
It feels good.
Pink
The much-missed identification card is finally in my hands again after much waiting yesterday. Had a mini-celebratory dinner at night with the two most important women in my life (namely mom and gf). Haha.
Today is a day when I'm taking it easy for now. Has been awhile since I relaxed at home. The benefits of self-employment is so tempting, I need more web/design projects to do. Lol. Where else can you oversleep and wake up at 10am, go for breakfast, come home and read newspaper while watching cartoons(!) at the same time? Then again, I really need to start working on the current project already. Maybe tomorrow I'll spend some time alone taking photographs if I manage to wake up early. No credit card promoting for me this week! Which definitely equates to more dipping of my reserve funds! *sob*
The much-missed identification card is finally in my hands again after much waiting yesterday. Had a mini-celebratory dinner at night with the two most important women in my life (namely mom and gf). Haha.
Today is a day when I'm taking it easy for now. Has been awhile since I relaxed at home. The benefits of self-employment is so tempting, I need more web/design projects to do. Lol. Where else can you oversleep and wake up at 10am, go for breakfast, come home and read newspaper while watching cartoons(!) at the same time? Then again, I really need to start working on the current project already. Maybe tomorrow I'll spend some time alone taking photographs if I manage to wake up early. No credit card promoting for me this week! Which definitely equates to more dipping of my reserve funds! *sob*
Tuesday, March 22
An Insomniac Blogs
Wrote email to some people. I can't sleep and I can only blame myself for taking that nap in the evening when I should be running. Somehow, I feel that maybe I should be awake till the moment I collect my i.c later. And then I would come home, fall asleep and wake up to a new phase in life. Maybe I should do just that but I know I would sleep in about an hour's time.
I remember the times when I spent out-field, when I couldn't sleep and was eating dust being churned by the vehicles in front. I would be standing and staring at the vehicles coming from behind, trying not to sleep but I end up dozing off and hitting my head against the hatch. And then I'd just give up and retire to my seat, only to be waken up by the intercomms. Daybreak would come and I would wake the men up for our impending mission and I'd walk, awake only because adrenaline is running within me. Our missions normally had us walking and walking. At the end, I can only climb back to the vehicle and sleep for two to three hours and we'd be going off again. That's how I believe that in school, I'd be able to keep myself awake and finishing my studies better than I could last time. Somethings that you learn in the army will never leave you.
Wrote email to some people. I can't sleep and I can only blame myself for taking that nap in the evening when I should be running. Somehow, I feel that maybe I should be awake till the moment I collect my i.c later. And then I would come home, fall asleep and wake up to a new phase in life. Maybe I should do just that but I know I would sleep in about an hour's time.
I remember the times when I spent out-field, when I couldn't sleep and was eating dust being churned by the vehicles in front. I would be standing and staring at the vehicles coming from behind, trying not to sleep but I end up dozing off and hitting my head against the hatch. And then I'd just give up and retire to my seat, only to be waken up by the intercomms. Daybreak would come and I would wake the men up for our impending mission and I'd walk, awake only because adrenaline is running within me. Our missions normally had us walking and walking. At the end, I can only climb back to the vehicle and sleep for two to three hours and we'd be going off again. That's how I believe that in school, I'd be able to keep myself awake and finishing my studies better than I could last time. Somethings that you learn in the army will never leave you.
Impending Freedom
In a few hours, I'd be collecting my pink identification card, my freedom. Wrote a bunch of thank-you cards for my men, I would miss them. Been having dreams about army, about the times I spent outfield, albeit overtly exagerrated. Yet, I know, deep down inside, I miss the old life. But it's not my life. I seek my fortunes else where. What the future holds I do not know, I just hope that success will come soon enough. I do not want to be just some office worker with no where to go, or become a struggling artist waiting to be paid.
Good night.
In a few hours, I'd be collecting my pink identification card, my freedom. Wrote a bunch of thank-you cards for my men, I would miss them. Been having dreams about army, about the times I spent outfield, albeit overtly exagerrated. Yet, I know, deep down inside, I miss the old life. But it's not my life. I seek my fortunes else where. What the future holds I do not know, I just hope that success will come soon enough. I do not want to be just some office worker with no where to go, or become a struggling artist waiting to be paid.
Good night.
Monday, March 21
Spent the entire afternoon working on my upcoming project. I have yet to collect my payment, which my client promised to pay me next week. Hmm..at least he accepted the quotations without bargaining. Realised the pictures I took today are so much better as compared to the last few times. Gotta rush out the stuff, have to clear time for many other things lined up. Phew.
Sunday, March 20
How do you define success? Is the money, the car you drive or the women you sleep with? How do define success when you have nothing?
*click*
The light flickers on in my musty toilet. I stare at my own face in the mirror and I turn on the tap. The cold water runs across my hands, they are dirty and I rub them; the grime is tough and I rub so hard, my hands turn red. I splash the water on my facered; I look like I have not slept in days. I leave the tap on, the sound of running water soothes me.
I sit on the toilet floor, I have not washed the place for a long time but I don't care. Fumbling in my pocket, I take out a stick from my last pack of cigarettes.
*flick*
My lighter doesn't work and I try again. Fuck. Why must things always be so hard?
*flick*
It refuses to light. Fucking lighter.
*flick*
The flame comes on and I feel the first puff of smoke filling my lungs. I inhale again.
Why are you so stupid? The tender was supposed to be up yesterday! What the hell were you thinking? Get out of my office, get out now!
The asshole's face floats in my mind. It wasn't my fault, it wasn't. Fuck him. I exhale.
You drive that piece of shit? My god, even my grandmother would die driving a junk like that!
You call yourself a friend? So what if you drive a lexus? So what? I inhale.
Have you taken a look in the mirror lately? You look like a dog...
Her voice, her stilettoes clicking as she walked away. Was it the money? Or the car? Or that my best friend looked better than me? You were everything to me. Fucking bitch...I still love you.
I shut my eyes. But it doesn't stop. My cigarette's burning to the end, they don't give no satisfaction no more. I slept with your best friend, he's so much better. I need them to stop. Those voices. Stop! Useless!The voices mingle, the sounds raise and fall, the floor spins and I try to stand.
I stumble. lousy pig! I walk across the toilet to the cistern, reaching inside for my solace, for my peace, my mufflers to all this noise. My answer is near.
It took me a while to get a hold on this shit, my hands tremble as I caress the plastic bag. You call that a car? I tug at the sides, I need it now.
I need it now.
I pull a little too hard and the white powder scatters into the odorous air. Everything turns slow-motion, I see the individual specks floating, I see the clumps falling. I grab desperately, I grasp nothing but thin air.
Accumulating a small portion of it on the seat, I take a deep snort. It hurts like fuck everytime. Yet, I could feel the voices fading. I am in control now, I am free.
Silence. Darkness.
Bliss arrives, I smile and I float away.
*click*
The light flickers on in my musty toilet. I stare at my own face in the mirror and I turn on the tap. The cold water runs across my hands, they are dirty and I rub them; the grime is tough and I rub so hard, my hands turn red. I splash the water on my facered; I look like I have not slept in days. I leave the tap on, the sound of running water soothes me.
I sit on the toilet floor, I have not washed the place for a long time but I don't care. Fumbling in my pocket, I take out a stick from my last pack of cigarettes.
*flick*
My lighter doesn't work and I try again. Fuck. Why must things always be so hard?
*flick*
It refuses to light. Fucking lighter.
*flick*
The flame comes on and I feel the first puff of smoke filling my lungs. I inhale again.
Why are you so stupid? The tender was supposed to be up yesterday! What the hell were you thinking? Get out of my office, get out now!
The asshole's face floats in my mind. It wasn't my fault, it wasn't. Fuck him. I exhale.
You drive that piece of shit? My god, even my grandmother would die driving a junk like that!
You call yourself a friend? So what if you drive a lexus? So what? I inhale.
Have you taken a look in the mirror lately? You look like a dog...
Her voice, her stilettoes clicking as she walked away. Was it the money? Or the car? Or that my best friend looked better than me? You were everything to me. Fucking bitch...I still love you.
I shut my eyes. But it doesn't stop. My cigarette's burning to the end, they don't give no satisfaction no more. I slept with your best friend, he's so much better. I need them to stop. Those voices. Stop! Useless!The voices mingle, the sounds raise and fall, the floor spins and I try to stand.
I stumble. lousy pig! I walk across the toilet to the cistern, reaching inside for my solace, for my peace, my mufflers to all this noise. My answer is near.
It took me a while to get a hold on this shit, my hands tremble as I caress the plastic bag. You call that a car? I tug at the sides, I need it now.
I need it now.
I pull a little too hard and the white powder scatters into the odorous air. Everything turns slow-motion, I see the individual specks floating, I see the clumps falling. I grab desperately, I grasp nothing but thin air.
Accumulating a small portion of it on the seat, I take a deep snort. It hurts like fuck everytime. Yet, I could feel the voices fading. I am in control now, I am free.
Silence. Darkness.
Bliss arrives, I smile and I float away.
Saturday, March 19
Tired. After two weeks of running about getting jobs and settling my ord stuff, I must confess it's been tough. And it doesn't help that I'm limiting the number of hours of sleep I'm getting cos I refuse to go offline. And that I go take photographs whenever I'm free.
So far, I've managed to get a temporary job as a credit card promoter. That's where the bulk of my income will come from for the next few months. Demanding, irritating, tiring and boring, it still gives a decent pay check. Good thing is that the time-table is quite flexible so I'm able to schedule other things in. Begins next Wednesday. =(
I've got to settle a website update for my old client who refuses to pay me for the past few updates and now he has got a bigger job for me. Come on, I need the cash! At least I like turning a hobby into an unstable income generator. Haha. If I can get like four jobs in a month I wouldn't even need to be in the hot sun promoting credit cards that I won't even get myself. Bah.
Next up is the occasional photo assistant job which I'm more excited working as. Even though the monetary renumerations may not be as attractive as the other jobs, I would be garnering more experience and expanding my vision. Both of which can't be bought. And hopefully, I don't screw up. Haha.
That's all for now. Hoping to develop better selling skills with the promoter thing, better customer handling with my web design and more photographic experience with the pa job. Busy busy busy.
And I have yet to unpack all the stuff I brought back from camp. My room's in a mess!
So far, I've managed to get a temporary job as a credit card promoter. That's where the bulk of my income will come from for the next few months. Demanding, irritating, tiring and boring, it still gives a decent pay check. Good thing is that the time-table is quite flexible so I'm able to schedule other things in. Begins next Wednesday. =(
I've got to settle a website update for my old client who refuses to pay me for the past few updates and now he has got a bigger job for me. Come on, I need the cash! At least I like turning a hobby into an unstable income generator. Haha. If I can get like four jobs in a month I wouldn't even need to be in the hot sun promoting credit cards that I won't even get myself. Bah.
Next up is the occasional photo assistant job which I'm more excited working as. Even though the monetary renumerations may not be as attractive as the other jobs, I would be garnering more experience and expanding my vision. Both of which can't be bought. And hopefully, I don't screw up. Haha.
That's all for now. Hoping to develop better selling skills with the promoter thing, better customer handling with my web design and more photographic experience with the pa job. Busy busy busy.
And I have yet to unpack all the stuff I brought back from camp. My room's in a mess!
Thursday, March 17
Wednesday, March 16
Went for a photo shoot in my backyard (or rather the government's) this morning and all I have to show are mostly blurred pictures because I overestimated the macro abilities of my camera's basic set up. Will try again once I get the close-up lens and all. Disappointing. My camera's capable of more than it seems...
And I just cleaned up my old camera and lenses because fungus has been growing horrendously on them. Even my poor lomo is affected...I do need a dry box. Sigh. There goes more of my money. Hope to start earning money soon, need to save up for uni too.
And I just cleaned up my old camera and lenses because fungus has been growing horrendously on them. Even my poor lomo is affected...I do need a dry box. Sigh. There goes more of my money. Hope to start earning money soon, need to save up for uni too.
The Lost Sense of Direction
As ORD looms closer, it seems to me that the common goal shared among my friends and I for the past 2 years has finally arrived. And thus, lying before us, is an empty slate and unknown destinations. I have been occupying myself with countless activities and appointments since I went on leave last week, keen to discover the one track I would take before embarking on a new journey in school. As such, my mind is constantly whirring at high speeds and I appear distracted and panicky even. My brain tends to freeze up sometimes during conversations with others (even possible future bosses) and I'm lost at words. Oh well. I hope this malaise goes away soon. I've got important people to meet and discuss things with. So far, I think I have managed to embarrass myself by appearing to be a muscle-bound, fresh-outta-ns and blur-as-hell idiot. Sigh. Things will improve soon I hope.
As ORD looms closer, it seems to me that the common goal shared among my friends and I for the past 2 years has finally arrived. And thus, lying before us, is an empty slate and unknown destinations. I have been occupying myself with countless activities and appointments since I went on leave last week, keen to discover the one track I would take before embarking on a new journey in school. As such, my mind is constantly whirring at high speeds and I appear distracted and panicky even. My brain tends to freeze up sometimes during conversations with others (even possible future bosses) and I'm lost at words. Oh well. I hope this malaise goes away soon. I've got important people to meet and discuss things with. So far, I think I have managed to embarrass myself by appearing to be a muscle-bound, fresh-outta-ns and blur-as-hell idiot. Sigh. Things will improve soon I hope.
Monday, March 14
Refresh!
It's funny to see the hit counter jump so rapidly because everyone wants to see all the pics and hits the refresh button at least 4 times. Have I mentioned there are 10 quotes? Lol. There are more episodes for the unnamed guy above. I haven't figured out a cool name for him yet. Would love to have suggestions for drawings like exploding dog. =) Will be most glad to draw a quote for you guys.
Right now, maybe I'll call him smelly hypomello. Stinky melodramatic hypochondriac. Just like me.
(Finally ran again just now! For about 5km. I'm proud.)
It's funny to see the hit counter jump so rapidly because everyone wants to see all the pics and hits the refresh button at least 4 times. Have I mentioned there are 10 quotes? Lol. There are more episodes for the unnamed guy above. I haven't figured out a cool name for him yet. Would love to have suggestions for drawings like exploding dog. =) Will be most glad to draw a quote for you guys.
Right now, maybe I'll call him smelly hypomello. Stinky melodramatic hypochondriac. Just like me.
(Finally ran again just now! For about 5km. I'm proud.)
Fresh from the Oven
Brand new design! Excuse me while I tweak around. Enjoy. Now it comes with random title image and quotes! Heh. Please report any errors. All graphics created in photoshop plus a dash of inspiration. And yes, the graphics are drawn by me, painstakingly in photoshop with the pen tool. A Wacom Tablet would be so cool.
Brand new design! Excuse me while I tweak around. Enjoy. Now it comes with random title image and quotes! Heh. Please report any errors. All graphics created in photoshop plus a dash of inspiration. And yes, the graphics are drawn by me, painstakingly in photoshop with the pen tool. A Wacom Tablet would be so cool.
"The work is based on a belief that photography is the evidence of sight which can be addressed and healed through observation. I create imagery to help navigate and formulate my right to see, to accommodate the positioning of my soul in the world. From here I locate and determine that thin layer of reality that surrounds perception and align my vision to that which guides and teaches. I use the residual affect of silver and light to record a source of inquiry into the mysteries that surround me."
The Total Sum of Solitudes is what I perceive as a collection of stark b+w photographs that tug at something deeper within our souls. Familiar and scary at the same time.
The Total Sum of Solitudes is what I perceive as a collection of stark b+w photographs that tug at something deeper within our souls. Familiar and scary at the same time.
Sunday, March 13
My hamstrings are killin' me. After Friday's leg workout at the gym, I have been trying to increase my non-existent flexibility by stretching and stretching. Now I'm walking like a robot. Ouch.
I shall go seek some solace in photoshop.
My days have been pretty jam-packed with activities, next week looks like it's gonna be quite busy too. Phew.
I shall go seek some solace in photoshop.
My days have been pretty jam-packed with activities, next week looks like it's gonna be quite busy too. Phew.
Saturday, March 12
My memory has been jumbled up and confused ever since I went on leave. It seemed like school ended last month and army happened along with it. It feels like a parallel universe where things seem to have happened concurrently and leaving me feeling extremely perplexed. My brain cells have deteriorated in the mean time. Give me a few weeks or months and I hope to have everything sorted out in time. Hopefully, by the time school starts. I have been unable to have any interesting conversations in months! Sigh.
Thursday, March 10
Riceball
Was at Adelphi after my scouting trip to visit Riceball, the only photography specialist book store in Singapore. Had a really nice time there chatting with the owner who took some time to introduce some books to me and let me browse at my own leisure. I was not pressurized to buy anything and was happily reading through all the books that he recommended. The owner was so friendly that I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. In the end, I left with a book and magazine in my bag. Buying stuff should be this fun.
Even the lady at Cathay photo was so amiable. I should stop visiting stores where the sales people scowl and look down at me because I just happen to be wearing bermudas and sandals. It's not like I can't afford things there. Thumbs up to Riceball!
Was at Adelphi after my scouting trip to visit Riceball, the only photography specialist book store in Singapore. Had a really nice time there chatting with the owner who took some time to introduce some books to me and let me browse at my own leisure. I was not pressurized to buy anything and was happily reading through all the books that he recommended. The owner was so friendly that I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. In the end, I left with a book and magazine in my bag. Buying stuff should be this fun.
Even the lady at Cathay photo was so amiable. I should stop visiting stores where the sales people scowl and look down at me because I just happen to be wearing bermudas and sandals. It's not like I can't afford things there. Thumbs up to Riceball!
Of Cameras and Impulses
The IT show was a riot as usual. Got dazed and nauseated squeezing in with the crowd. Tried out Canon's new 350D, successor to it's popular Digital Rebel 300D. When I picked up the camera, I immediately developed a distaste because of it's extreme light-weight. There was no solid feel to the camera. So I put it down and played with the more expensive 20d instead. I like the feel of the camera but I wouldn't be able to afford it anytime.
So I hopped over to the Nikon booth and had a nice chat with the uncle. Now the d70 is offering for $1988 with 2x1GB CF card, 1 x tripod, 1 x umbrella, 1 x nikon vest and offering the 300mm zoom lens for $88. They will also throw in the hand-grip free and a NC filter for $18. All in all, a very enticing offer. I almost wanted to hand over my wallet and get the camera on the spot. lol.
After visiting the booth, I went to Peninsula plaza to get my photos developed (finally!). And I visited Cathay Photo who quoted me the d70 kit at $1700. And if I buy 2 x 1GB CF cards from them, the total cost would just be about same as the IT Fair. Impulsive buys never looked so stupid before. I'm known to throw away money by buying things on the spot but after this incident, I realised that I should curb those feelings! The freebies aren't worth it because why do I need another tripod? And an umbrella? The nice lady at Cathay probably would throw in more things and I can bargain the price down even more. *breathe* So, now more impulsive buying for me again, I hope.
The IT show was a riot as usual. Got dazed and nauseated squeezing in with the crowd. Tried out Canon's new 350D, successor to it's popular Digital Rebel 300D. When I picked up the camera, I immediately developed a distaste because of it's extreme light-weight. There was no solid feel to the camera. So I put it down and played with the more expensive 20d instead. I like the feel of the camera but I wouldn't be able to afford it anytime.
So I hopped over to the Nikon booth and had a nice chat with the uncle. Now the d70 is offering for $1988 with 2x1GB CF card, 1 x tripod, 1 x umbrella, 1 x nikon vest and offering the 300mm zoom lens for $88. They will also throw in the hand-grip free and a NC filter for $18. All in all, a very enticing offer. I almost wanted to hand over my wallet and get the camera on the spot. lol.
After visiting the booth, I went to Peninsula plaza to get my photos developed (finally!). And I visited Cathay Photo who quoted me the d70 kit at $1700. And if I buy 2 x 1GB CF cards from them, the total cost would just be about same as the IT Fair. Impulsive buys never looked so stupid before. I'm known to throw away money by buying things on the spot but after this incident, I realised that I should curb those feelings! The freebies aren't worth it because why do I need another tripod? And an umbrella? The nice lady at Cathay probably would throw in more things and I can bargain the price down even more. *breathe* So, now more impulsive buying for me again, I hope.
It's the IT show galore again, a tri-annual exhibition situated either at Suntec City or Singapore Expo. While I can't wait to leave in a while, I'm so tempted to buy so many things that I should probably keep my money in check.
1) 1 GB SD Card for my camera (Possible...)
2) Dry Box (Must Get!)
3) Lap top (just dreaming)
4) new Camera - D70? D2x? (Hahahaha...dream on)
Some people spend their money on ipods and mp3 players. I just spend all of mine on my little fascination with capturing images. I need a job!!!
1) 1 GB SD Card for my camera (Possible...)
2) Dry Box (Must Get!)
3) Lap top (just dreaming)
4) new Camera - D70? D2x? (Hahahaha...dream on)
Some people spend their money on ipods and mp3 players. I just spend all of mine on my little fascination with capturing images. I need a job!!!
Tuesday, March 8
My Last Working Day
When I said my goodbyes to my men, I could feel that most of them didn't want me to leave. And a part of me didn't want to either. Who would be there to protect them from now on, to guide them? To give them welfare as I had? Or to joke around with them?
Even though they have pissed me off countless of times, I still think of them as good people (well, most of them). We spent almost 17 months together, went through the jungles of Brunei, the scorching sands of Area A, the stand-by duties, the mosquito-infested out-fields; and in the end, I have become more than a leader; more than a brother: I've grown and matured.
It's hard to leave something familiar behind. And I'm glad to have passed this milestone unharmed and in good spirits. I can finally heave a sigh of relief after so long. When I shook hands with some of them, I felt truly touched. For I believe, I made a difference in their lives, big or small, it's still something I'm proud of. =)
When I said my goodbyes to my men, I could feel that most of them didn't want me to leave. And a part of me didn't want to either. Who would be there to protect them from now on, to guide them? To give them welfare as I had? Or to joke around with them?
Even though they have pissed me off countless of times, I still think of them as good people (well, most of them). We spent almost 17 months together, went through the jungles of Brunei, the scorching sands of Area A, the stand-by duties, the mosquito-infested out-fields; and in the end, I have become more than a leader; more than a brother: I've grown and matured.
It's hard to leave something familiar behind. And I'm glad to have passed this milestone unharmed and in good spirits. I can finally heave a sigh of relief after so long. When I shook hands with some of them, I felt truly touched. For I believe, I made a difference in their lives, big or small, it's still something I'm proud of. =)
Last night was our final CO Evening and we were entertained once again by the girls from events company, Bonfire. As I happened to have my camera with me, I decided to try out taking photos of the performance.
The low-light conditions, coupled with not using a flash proved to be quite a challenge. Most of my pics came out blurred and those where I used flash, only the elements nearer the camera are lighted up. Perhaps I need more practice for such events, especially since i might be tasked to be photographer for any events in the future. And I was terribly stricken by self-consciousness, I didn't dare to approach the stage or the girls to take my photos but stayed at a comfortable distance. The overall pictures came out dull, blurred or terribly framed. I need more practice! Especially to be able to sense when a good picture will form and compose everything in a split second.
The low-light conditions, coupled with not using a flash proved to be quite a challenge. Most of my pics came out blurred and those where I used flash, only the elements nearer the camera are lighted up. Perhaps I need more practice for such events, especially since i might be tasked to be photographer for any events in the future. And I was terribly stricken by self-consciousness, I didn't dare to approach the stage or the girls to take my photos but stayed at a comfortable distance. The overall pictures came out dull, blurred or terribly framed. I need more practice! Especially to be able to sense when a good picture will form and compose everything in a split second.
Sunday, March 6
Last night we ate till our stomachs burst and I was left thinking, all the weight I've lost for the four days of atec has been gained back in one night. The desserts were sinfully good though.
Atec was weirdly less stringent than I thought it was. Maybe it's because the top levels all gave up after the first mission and we were just out for a very long picnic. For me, it could be summarised into the following; sleeping half of monday away even though we were supposed to be outfield, moving out in cw's vehicle, waking up because a torrent of water came into my cabin, dismounting for first mission, ransacking for food at 9pm because I haven't eaten anything the whole day, jk's vehicle crushing my bikee at 3am, sleeping during cat 1 from 6am to 7am, mission 2 where all my men died and I was a one-man tank hunting team, slacking on top of aru's vehicle listening to the men playing techno on their handphones, mission 3 where my team destroyed 2 enemy vehicles, sitting in the hot sun waiting for ambush and wondering when everything will end.
By thursday afternoon, I was suffering from heat rash, a severe need to sleep and wearing a set of extremely stinky uniform. By night, we were popping champagne in bunk, laughing about all the funny bits of the exercise and feeling extremly disappointed that we wasted our ns by being in such a fucked up battalion. 2 more working days next week to clear my stuff from camp and it's good bye to my home in the most ulu part of Singapore.
Viva la 42!
Atec was weirdly less stringent than I thought it was. Maybe it's because the top levels all gave up after the first mission and we were just out for a very long picnic. For me, it could be summarised into the following; sleeping half of monday away even though we were supposed to be outfield, moving out in cw's vehicle, waking up because a torrent of water came into my cabin, dismounting for first mission, ransacking for food at 9pm because I haven't eaten anything the whole day, jk's vehicle crushing my bikee at 3am, sleeping during cat 1 from 6am to 7am, mission 2 where all my men died and I was a one-man tank hunting team, slacking on top of aru's vehicle listening to the men playing techno on their handphones, mission 3 where my team destroyed 2 enemy vehicles, sitting in the hot sun waiting for ambush and wondering when everything will end.
By thursday afternoon, I was suffering from heat rash, a severe need to sleep and wearing a set of extremely stinky uniform. By night, we were popping champagne in bunk, laughing about all the funny bits of the exercise and feeling extremly disappointed that we wasted our ns by being in such a fucked up battalion. 2 more working days next week to clear my stuff from camp and it's good bye to my home in the most ulu part of Singapore.
Viva la 42!
Saturday, March 5
Dangers of Not Reading the Label
I accidentally gurgled Dettol thinking it was mouth rinse. How smart. Now my mouth is totally germ free. Haha. I hope I don't suffer from some stomach implications tomorrow. 10 seconds after I poured the Dettol into my mouth, I was wondering why this particular brand tasted so hot. Got a shock when I took the bottle and saw it was Dettol. Haha. Another moment of stupidity that I have decided to divulge.
I need sleep.
I accidentally gurgled Dettol thinking it was mouth rinse. How smart. Now my mouth is totally germ free. Haha. I hope I don't suffer from some stomach implications tomorrow. 10 seconds after I poured the Dettol into my mouth, I was wondering why this particular brand tasted so hot. Got a shock when I took the bottle and saw it was Dettol. Haha. Another moment of stupidity that I have decided to divulge.
I need sleep.
Friday, March 4
My phone is spoiled. Gonna get a new one tomorrow. My sweat can be so potent. Left my phone in my right-breast pocket throughout the exercise and now all the buttons cant work. Oh well. It's about time anyway, what with all the new phones with all the bells and whistles. Camera, mp3 player, video clip player (my men store porn in their phones!), vibrator, torchlight, phone and organiser all rolled into one mean machine. One day, we would be able to do everything with our phones and it'd be engineered into our bodies. Right now, I don't know which phone to get. And it's unnerving to be phoneless.
Maybe I should go wash my clothes now. Argh.
Maybe I should go wash my clothes now. Argh.
Ten Things I'm Feeling Now
I am:
1) sleep-deprived.
2) suffering a recurrence of the super bug - footrotillus
3) acting strangely, blanking out
4) feeling quite light-headed and enjoying it (maybe that's why stupid people are happier)
5) not as happy as I would think I am
6) 18 days away from collecting my civilian status
7) about to go wash my stinky clothes
8) procasinating about completing 7) since 3 hours ago
9) in need of a part time job
10) gonna miss my friends when we all ord
I am:
1) sleep-deprived.
2) suffering a recurrence of the super bug - footrotillus
3) acting strangely, blanking out
4) feeling quite light-headed and enjoying it (maybe that's why stupid people are happier)
5) not as happy as I would think I am
6) 18 days away from collecting my civilian status
7) about to go wash my stinky clothes
8) procasinating about completing 7) since 3 hours ago
9) in need of a part time job
10) gonna miss my friends when we all ord
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