Reaped quite a bit of profit during the few days of chinese new year. But I did not even do any visiting (except for one). No longer as excited as I were when I was a kid but the money's really good. lol. Gonna save it all up and watch my bank account grow. There's a certain camera waiting for me somewhere.

Does such clarity or rather, practicality come along with age? The lulls and happiness of yesteryears feel mediocre now. Somehow I wish to be a kid once more. Then again, anyone who claims to have a happy childhood is lying to himself. It's no one's fault really, just growing pains: discovering that the "perfect" world ain't so perfect after all. Where money don't come in red packets and presents don't come from Santa Claus but your parent's pockets. When playing is not a right but a privilege.

Ah..the sweet smell of melancholy.

Man, must be making up for the missing days of talking to myself on my blog. What is it with relatives who still have the old traditional thoughts of success? I'm up to here (points to throat) with my uncle coming every year to nag me to take medicine. Can earn a lot of money...next time then take management... Bah. My parents have the same notions too. Argh. Leave me alone, will ya? It's my life and I live it according to how I want. Just that I've not really thought of what to do yet.

Launchcast's Playing: Cocteau Twins - Beatrix

Had a horrible weekend feeding mosquitoes as ammo 2ic during our Platoon Live Firiing. Rained for the whole day and night, everyone was soaked. Feel sorry for all the troopers, section commanders and platoon commanders. Especially the safety officers and specs (who had to double as sect comms). And of course, I had to book out latest cos of the ammo shit. But it's okay. Not really bugged by all of that. Just that my little brain's playing up lately, causing me to sink for a while. Has it really been that long since I last felt thirsting for some alcohol swooshing in my body? Been wanting a drink these few days but have no real reason for one. Oh well. Maybe I lost my shadow along the way, hiding in my shell, waiting for it to come back. Else, I don't wish to speak to anyone about anything about myself.

Choose: a life where you constantly work harder to gain all the material goods you buy but never use; a life where you wonder where or when your next meal's coming but you bring to life, all the thoughts and inspiration either in words or pictures or music; a double life where monday to friday you fight for money and weekends off doing art and having fun with your kids and friends; a life where you slog eight to five, wake up drunk in a bar and go back to work and spend the weekend cruising television or the roads, getting high on cigarettes and booze; a life where fame and fortune comes like a meteor and you end it broken and dishevelled.

At the forefront on perhaps quarter of my life. I realise we live through much of it doing things we don't like. Gee.

Physically exhausting week just passed. Two ICCT (intermediate close-combat training) lessons, 1 IPPT session, 2 out-field (one involving me running around with a 8 kg signal set plus my men's 16.1 kg load), 1 running session (4km fast warm-up, 3 rounds of intervals and 2 rounds of sprinting up-slope) and not enough sleep. Ended up with me staying in the toilet yesterday 'cause of diarrhoea. Feel totally miserable...

But I bought 3 books for $10 yesterday! Haha. Sort of as reading material for the next few weeks and I got really good presents! Haha. I'm easy to shop for. =)

Today, I ran a red light. So am not a safe driver. Tsk. Wonder how I'm gonna pass.

Also reading a textbook on economics. A chapter every night before I sleep. Totally dry, reminds me of those nights when I had to revise for biology. Yawn.

Brain hasn't been pondering on the secrets of the universe lately. Not totally that bad because I'm less prone to depression. Wobbly-headed Bob sees the truth of the world; thus, he tries to convince everybody of how lousy things are, that's why thinking too much is bad. Read: Jhonen Vasquez - Squee Collection.

The new Grain magazine is out! Get your copy at MPH or any large bookstore that stocks lots of magazines. Don't bother searching in popular though. They're only good for cheap stationery. Heh. Waiting not so patiently for nikon to unveil their new D70 digital SLR. And then I'll decide if Canon EOS 300D is better. Can't wait...can't wait to go around snapping more photos. One day, I'm gonna have a personal exhibition. And a lomo wall too. Haha.

And thanks to the special somebody who bought me the mag! =)

Changed my comments thing...Can't think of anything funky to use it as a link though...Still a little stoned after the bottle of wine last night and the turkish smoking thingy..shisha? shashay? Haha.

And it's raining now, gonna go shopping later! Yeah! About time I say.

Wonders about the hedonistic life right now. Well, it's only the weekend that I'm like that. I sulk midway through the week in camp...Been rather busy and it's just going uphill. Can't wait for Christmas to arrive again. =)

A grandfather patiently blowing at a teaspoon of milo; his grandson squirming a little but opens his mouth and finishes it. The old man then takes another teaspoon and waits till it's not as hot anymore.

* * *

The mechanical horse grinds to the off-beat nursery rhyme as the little boy bobs up and down on the saddle. He smiles and laughs an innocent laugh at his father, who is standing beside the machine.

Three blind mice, three blind mice, see how they run...

The horse grinds to a halt, the boy looks up at the towering stature of his father, eyes beaming; wanting another ride. The father digs into his empty trouser pocket and smiles sheepishly. "Another day, son. You've had enough."

Tears start brimming those large, expansive eyes, "Papa...just one more? Just one more?!?" The dam walls start to crumble as the seconds pass.

"I'm sorry son. Another day, alright?" Saying this, the father picks his son up in those burly arms of his. The little one thrashes against his father and starts to brawl. Determined to bring the object of desire away, the father enters a crowd.

The little boy, through tear-clouded vision, stares at the gaudishly painted horse as it becomes smaller and smaller. He feels sad that his father has denied him another ride. He just wants another. A strand of hatred starts to form, one that will eventually be weaved into a complex tapestry of emotions and regret when the boy is older years from now.

The father sighs. It would have been the boy's tenth ride but bills lay unpaid at home. Softly, he whispered into the boy's hair, "One day, my boy, I'll take you on a real horse. I'm really sorry, please don't blame me."

With that, the duo disappears into the noon-time crowd as the sun beats relentlessly on those in its mercy.

Finished The Sandman Book Of Dreams, an anthology written by various authors and edited by Neil Gaiman. A must-buy for any fan but not exactly a good read. Nothing beats the original comics though.

Watched Amelie Poulain on Thursday. Really charming show. Too bad the DVD didn't have all the features as the version offered by amazon. Nevertheless, it's a great show! And I loved the camera work as well as the nifty story line. This morning I watched Adam Sandler's The Wedding Singer, finally. Haha. Seem to always miss the show when it is rerunning on tv. I've been bumming long enough. Haha. Got driving later, so I gotta get out of my house soon.

End of holidays, back to work!

Listening to: The Doors - People Are Strange.