The other day at bedtime, Kody said the sweetest thing in her prayer. Back track- last Sunday we had our family over for dinner and as I was standing there cooking, the vision in my left eye started acting funny. I was getting a mix between the black spots you get when you stand up too fast and when you have the white flashes in your eye after your picture is taken. It was really strange and Kole could tell something was wrong. I told him my eyes were acting funny and he told me to go sit down and he would take care of the rest of dinner. My eye just felt so funny. Well as we were eating, my peripheral vision in my left eye was completely gone. I was looking at my parents and I could not see Kody and her little friend to my left. It was the most unnerving feeling ever! I was kinda freaking out, wondering if I needed to go to the ER. My mom asked if I wanted a blessing from Kole and my dad and I just started crying and nodded my head yes. Kole gave me the greatest blessing and I was so comforted by it!! Then at bedtime Kody wanted to say the prayer and though I don't remember everything, she did say " and pray that Jesus will make mommy's eye feel better." My heart just melted instantly. I'm so grateful to be able to teach her and have her understand that prayer is real and that it does truly help.
The next day I took time off work (more on that later) and went to the eye doctor. I guy from my ward saw me and I was grateful to him for making time for me. He did a bunch of tests and it turned out that everything was fine. I had what is called an "ocular migraine." It happens under forms of stress. I was so happy to know that I did not have a detached retina or even a torn retina. That requires surgery and surgery is not an option for me right now.
Lately I have been working for a temp agency at a TB clinic. I am doing case management type stuff where I basically sit at a desk all the day long, reading charts, and setting up/ helping with the plan of care for the patients being treated for TB. I pretty much hate it. I am getting Case management experience, but overall, I absolutely hate sitting at a desk by myself. I am ever-so-bored and I want to pull out my hair or something. I hate working M-F 8-5. I know some mom's are used to it and they make it work, but I am struggling. I hate being behind on homework and housework and not seeing Kody for very long during the day. Yes Kody will go to school one day, but it's different. I hate leaving her. I'll be happy for her when she goes to school. Anyway, so being at this job and taking statistics at the same time... no good! I was so stressed and behind in my statistics homework that I would feel it deep inside my body of how irritated I was. I was mean and ornery and not pleasant to be around. Though statistics was done by that Sunday my eye went wacky, I contribute it to all the stress I was feeling for the past 2 weeks. I have felt stress before, but not to that degree. I am still working at this job and I hope to not go back. I am supposed to go back for one final week, but I have a research paper due next week and I don't know if I can handle working on it every night from 8-10 or so. I can't work on it until Kody goes to bed and by then I'm so tired and it's ridiculous. I can already feel my body tensing up and my mind going crazy.
The reason why I have only 1 more week (hopefully not ) is because I have been hired by Phoenix Children's Hospital (PCH). I am ecstatic!! I have been applying for over a year now for a job and it has finally paid off. I don't start until July, but I wanted to stop work early enough so I could go to California and visit my sister and play on the beach, and I wanted to get things settled and relaxed before starting a new job. I can't wait to help kids and their families. I will be working on Med/Surg which is general care. I don't know what floor or what sub-specialty I'll be doing, but I am excited either way.
That's all the updates I need to share at the moment. This was a long one.
