Hai, it have been a long time that i didnt write blog. Just suddenly came out with the idea or heart to write the blog. Just want to put something here, my feel and my thought recently.
I didn't read back the blog previously, cause i use to be, read back my diary and find back the feeling or passion i got before for certain thing. But i don't know why tonight i didn't do so, maybe it already late at night or something i don't want to admit.
Yes, i still don't want to admit something that make me look weak, i don't even sure should i publish this post. because this post will be very "scattered" , many thing, thought and feel i want to write came to my mind and i cant organize them.
But now i want to write down the biggest feeling in my mind now = people grow and change. Even sometimes i don't admit it,but the fact is the thing surrounding mewill not like yesterday. Even it is very hard for me to say but i just want to tell everyone i know== Goodbye. This is not a last letter or blog before me commit suicide, it just that i fell i have to say goodbye to people i know. Just that i cant do it face to face, it hardly come out from my mouth.
So, for those who might have the chance to read this blog, GOODBYE. i need to say it so that i can move forward. It is stint when i need to say so, but this is life , there will be more chance that i need to say goodbye so i might just practice now.
GOODBYE
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, September 17, 2009
hello all
today is september 18, 2009.... quite long time i didnt write blog...short of forget how to start and what to write...just ....study architect...life is gettting boring and boring...no..i'm still excited with every assignment i do ... just..
I feel like want to have fun... i will say my life now is lifeless..due to H1N1 and some others reason..i'm staying house all day....got school ALFA..no school HOUSE- my room or living area....ALFA of course study..at house...music and assignment...
Sometimes i will behaviour like my classmate who do the assignment not late but not as early as me.... somehow, i just denied to doing so...when have free time..i will just sit down and start work start doing my assignment. ONE THING THAT I REALLY NOT SUANG..although i start early..they still can pass up same time with me...what the heck!!.haha..but i will only competitive with me..tired to challenge myself with others...
That's all la..i want to go back classroom and start be machine ..HAPPY...haha
I feel like want to have fun... i will say my life now is lifeless..due to H1N1 and some others reason..i'm staying house all day....got school ALFA..no school HOUSE- my room or living area....ALFA of course study..at house...music and assignment...
Sometimes i will behaviour like my classmate who do the assignment not late but not as early as me.... somehow, i just denied to doing so...when have free time..i will just sit down and start work start doing my assignment. ONE THING THAT I REALLY NOT SUANG..although i start early..they still can pass up same time with me...what the heck!!.haha..but i will only competitive with me..tired to challenge myself with others...
That's all la..i want to go back classroom and start be machine ..HAPPY...haha
Monday, June 15, 2009
something
Today is 14 JUn 2009 , time now is10.44p.m Just finished back from a trip with my form 6 friends from Cameron Highland.
I don't know how to write or in what way i can write my felling down. Last Friday my English lecture teach a topic about photo. photographer take a photo , no not a photo only but try to catch down their feeling into the photo. My point is...nonono, this blog shouldn't have any bad feeling blog as i have say last time.
Let's talk about happy or funny thing have happen in the trip..At first m Fion and Kee Sheng fighting in the car...now fighting but they both have use all their strength and power to get back or take away a cap...."monkey vs pig" war in the car..u cant imagine how but only mui fun, yan zheng and me who see it by our own eyes.
1 thing...i finally know how to play Mahjong already..This is my 1st time play mahjong and somehow my father just don't want to teach me how to play... But with the experience that go to the Mahjong club house every Sunday(when children)... somehow u can get some idea how to play..WAHAHA( i also always see my form 6 friends always play..sure know la..got some is "lan du gui" leh..example..Siew Ling, Yan Zheng and Yoke Xin"
I going to get kill after the blog is publish out..haha...Now, i found that it is hard for me to describe happy feeling....perhaps my world is at sad place..
HAVE TO CHANGE...i have to change, change my thought ..move on and accept new thing.. My box to keep bad feeling is full..Time to fill in other feeling box.
Just one thing for sure is that i'm happy know how to express...I'm very very happy , glad , tanks to god(a bit bombastic.)that give me a chance to study at form 6 and know all my form 6 friends today...although i didn't success in form 6 exam--STPM, but i know ppl will grown and move on,,,this memory and thought will always keep inside my brain cell..hope that my luck could possible to add to all of u to archive what my form 6 friends want..
Although every time i separated from them will make me feel sad or like losing something..but i will always join their trip in future(if have)..GOOD NIGHT
I don't know how to write or in what way i can write my felling down. Last Friday my English lecture teach a topic about photo. photographer take a photo , no not a photo only but try to catch down their feeling into the photo. My point is...nonono, this blog shouldn't have any bad feeling blog as i have say last time.
Let's talk about happy or funny thing have happen in the trip..At first m Fion and Kee Sheng fighting in the car...now fighting but they both have use all their strength and power to get back or take away a cap...."monkey vs pig" war in the car..u cant imagine how but only mui fun, yan zheng and me who see it by our own eyes.
1 thing...i finally know how to play Mahjong already..This is my 1st time play mahjong and somehow my father just don't want to teach me how to play... But with the experience that go to the Mahjong club house every Sunday(when children)... somehow u can get some idea how to play..WAHAHA( i also always see my form 6 friends always play..sure know la..got some is "lan du gui" leh..example..Siew Ling, Yan Zheng and Yoke Xin"
I going to get kill after the blog is publish out..haha...Now, i found that it is hard for me to describe happy feeling....perhaps my world is at sad place..
HAVE TO CHANGE...i have to change, change my thought ..move on and accept new thing.. My box to keep bad feeling is full..Time to fill in other feeling box.
Just one thing for sure is that i'm happy know how to express...I'm very very happy , glad , tanks to god(a bit bombastic.)that give me a chance to study at form 6 and know all my form 6 friends today...although i didn't success in form 6 exam--STPM, but i know ppl will grown and move on,,,this memory and thought will always keep inside my brain cell..hope that my luck could possible to add to all of u to archive what my form 6 friends want..
Although every time i separated from them will make me feel sad or like losing something..but i will always join their trip in future(if have)..GOOD NIGHT
Thursday, January 22, 2009
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARS
What is the problem to be sad?down?abnormalto a happy ownself as usual??could it be family?lovers?friends?or......just something and nothing?
Chinese New Years is coming and it will arrive in 4 day more....Recently i have recall something that have happen in the last years upon Chinese New Years....shall i share some here?..haha..
"POP"...what a crazy song><...which is sing by a group of nonsense and crazy fellow..build by..leader:fion..and members which is Yan Zheng , Siew Ling , Chin Fai, Man Soon and me not to forget and other too which i didn't write down here..Still can remember the way we present our song....do u guys still remember?...sing in hakka , and etc language..and sing wherever we are and we free...all the image and envirnoment in my brain...is in 1 word..FUNNY!!!!^^
Do u know that angpou package can make to a hat??..haha..I believe eventhough u know , u won't be so crazy to try it..but...last years, some of our classmate have decided to design the classroom to feel like CNY..then we start to prepare the angpou fish , angpou tanglung and etc...At last?..we didnt make it..cause i didn't bring the needle and "benang" to school...so , it is my fault?yea..it is..T.T.. Anyway..there are someone creative thinkinh people in our class and make the angpou tanglung we make into 1 hat and wear it...and who is the one????...hahahahaa..deng deng deng..it is ....WONG YAN ZHENG...WAHAHA....
Still remember during holiday for CNY..then u drive my brother car and fetch 2 of my friends to go out have fun....then at one moment..we decided to go Siew Ling house bai nian..then at the traffic light there..i almost hit a car cause my car turn back(that time i'm still newbie)....Lucky it didn't hit..haha
Sure there will be something happen and i didn't join....such as bai nian sessions that make by many guys...but i didn't join cause i don't know at 1st..but nevermind...let the pass be pass...~.~
Just suddenly feel like...do i really have enjoy and have such event in my life before?..haha....For this few days i have been suffer for 1 answer and 1 questions(dream)..Afraid to found and admit it?..ya.i do..afraid is the point here....trying to run and forget it after wake up..and it do stop appear in my dream for today.haha..lucky^^....
Like i sad before..maybe one day later i wil regret to the decisions i have make now...but..whatever it is....JUST WANT TO TELL U ALL
>>>>>>>HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARS<<<<<
Chinese New Years is coming and it will arrive in 4 day more....Recently i have recall something that have happen in the last years upon Chinese New Years....shall i share some here?..haha..
"POP"...what a crazy song><...which is sing by a group of nonsense and crazy fellow..build by..leader:fion..and members which is Yan Zheng , Siew Ling , Chin Fai, Man Soon and me not to forget and other too which i didn't write down here..Still can remember the way we present our song....do u guys still remember?...sing in hakka , and etc language..and sing wherever we are and we free...all the image and envirnoment in my brain...is in 1 word..FUNNY!!!!^^
Do u know that angpou package can make to a hat??..haha..I believe eventhough u know , u won't be so crazy to try it..but...last years, some of our classmate have decided to design the classroom to feel like CNY..then we start to prepare the angpou fish , angpou tanglung and etc...At last?..we didnt make it..cause i didn't bring the needle and "benang" to school...so , it is my fault?yea..it is..T.T.. Anyway..there are someone creative thinkinh people in our class and make the angpou tanglung we make into 1 hat and wear it...and who is the one????...hahahahaa..deng deng deng..it is ....WONG YAN ZHENG...WAHAHA....
Still remember during holiday for CNY..then u drive my brother car and fetch 2 of my friends to go out have fun....then at one moment..we decided to go Siew Ling house bai nian..then at the traffic light there..i almost hit a car cause my car turn back(that time i'm still newbie)....Lucky it didn't hit..haha
Sure there will be something happen and i didn't join....such as bai nian sessions that make by many guys...but i didn't join cause i don't know at 1st..but nevermind...let the pass be pass...~.~
Just suddenly feel like...do i really have enjoy and have such event in my life before?..haha....For this few days i have been suffer for 1 answer and 1 questions(dream)..Afraid to found and admit it?..ya.i do..afraid is the point here....trying to run and forget it after wake up..and it do stop appear in my dream for today.haha..lucky^^....
Like i sad before..maybe one day later i wil regret to the decisions i have make now...but..whatever it is....JUST WANT TO TELL U ALL
>>>>>>>HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEARS<<<<<
Thursday, January 8, 2009
JOB..WORK..
Hai blogger...such a long time didn't write or add new post to you..
So far, the major topic in my mind now is job or work...erm....(study also important..
haha)..job....what can i say about it?...the TRIPRO.i cant join..cause parents and...whatever...the point is i didn't go to there work more..
so far i go....now i back to the starting point..like snake game...when I'm almost reach the 100..a stair 'bring' me back to the first place...sad?feel fail?..but now i just know i need to start to roll the dice and continue my journey...
So,what is my first step now?...let see..teacher?telesales?new era? or my bro job--typing?..
teacher..huh..then i really back to the started point..haha..i think u all know my means...YU HUA?.batu 11?...aaa....whatever..have job...i go..desperate to run from boring and doing nothing...~.~....Tomorrow i will go Yu Hua to confirm is there any place for me?..if no, there is no point for me to wait.i guess..
Telesales?..erm...have friends accompany..too bad...something tell me no need take it into list..sure can't or band by my parents...
New ERA?...be a librarian..Kah Wei suggest me go....at first i do think want to give a try...but, the newspaper still have so many bad news about it...don't know if i work at there..is there any reporter came and ask me question?..maybe can see my face in newspaper..then got any company see me and ask me to work for them....haha..dream
My bro job?...erm.let see.....1st i don't want to be my brother shadow...2nd..the job is really sien and the salary is not good....><..haha..but quiet free and can play game during work as long as u didn't kena catch..haha..somemore can take the company property like empty cd which my brother and his friends have done before..
overall...or now,i wish i can get teacher job...at least it can make me free and can 'visit' my friends...more easy and comfortable..but...my dream and what i want wont be so easy for me to get,isn't god?
So far, the major topic in my mind now is job or work...erm....(study also important..
haha)..job....what can i say about it?...the TRIPRO.i cant join..cause parents and...whatever...the point is i didn't go to there work more..
so far i go....now i back to the starting point..like snake game...when I'm almost reach the 100..a stair 'bring' me back to the first place...sad?feel fail?..but now i just know i need to start to roll the dice and continue my journey...
So,what is my first step now?...let see..teacher?telesales?new era? or my bro job--typing?..
teacher..huh..then i really back to the started point..haha..i think u all know my means...YU HUA?.batu 11?...aaa....whatever..have job...i go..desperate to run from boring and doing nothing...~.~....Tomorrow i will go Yu Hua to confirm is there any place for me?..if no, there is no point for me to wait.i guess..
Telesales?..erm...have friends accompany..too bad...something tell me no need take it into list..sure can't or band by my parents...
New ERA?...be a librarian..Kah Wei suggest me go....at first i do think want to give a try...but, the newspaper still have so many bad news about it...don't know if i work at there..is there any reporter came and ask me question?..maybe can see my face in newspaper..then got any company see me and ask me to work for them....haha..dream
My bro job?...erm.let see.....1st i don't want to be my brother shadow...2nd..the job is really sien and the salary is not good....><..haha..but quiet free and can play game during work as long as u didn't kena catch..haha..somemore can take the company property like empty cd which my brother and his friends have done before..
overall...or now,i wish i can get teacher job...at least it can make me free and can 'visit' my friends...more easy and comfortable..but...my dream and what i want wont be so easy for me to get,isn't god?
Friday, January 2, 2009
nothing.....
Today is 2/1/2009..now is 7pm...
2008 already be the history of the earth....yet..the earth is getting sick and worst i guess..haha..><.
bother am i..the topic of the previous blog ..yes..the answer i have figure out..and i think i have to admit it too.I AM...never mind...haha..wish better get better...admit worst..be the worst..~.~
It is such a long time i didn't blog already....lazy is the point and no feel is the 2nd reason...><
What to say...ERm, let's talk about the celebration of 2009..It is..at 31/12/2008..the last day of the 2008....me and my friends have held a BBQ party at jay Yap house..At the morning...basketball program..evening--->shopping program...at night---->BBQ program..haha..full with activities...That's why I didn't send any Happy News Years message to all my friends...cause after back from the party..i'm damn tired and straight go meet MR.Zhao after take bath...
Aikz...there are so many food left , then me and siew ling keep "burn" the food such as fishballl, sotong ball ,prawn ball , chicken wing and hotdog..haha...After that , me , siew ling , jia yiing and fion go ta take a walk at Jay Yap taman...then when we reach the highway....we can see firework that held at BEACH CAFE.....HAPPY NEW YEARS...
Back to the 'toy land' opposite Jay Yap house..haha...our big kids is trying to do vandalisme on those gadget...haha..sometimes...in our deep down heart...we are still kid ...haha..did i?anyway...hope the neighbour didn't angry for making sound pollution.
While all the people is buzy sending message to their friends...I lying down at somewhere and look to the sky...bad thing is there are not moon but it do have some star to accompany me..make me feel more..good?..WAHAHA.on the spot...i have recall my memory and a funny picture have come to my mind...A unforgettable event..
About cleaning house...haha..FINALLY!!!!....BUAHAHAHAHHA.finished..><...yesterday wake up and start to work..clean the wall, take out the item clean and put it back...After a long term fight and haha...i win^^..
2008 already be the history of the earth....yet..the earth is getting sick and worst i guess..haha..><.
bother am i..the topic of the previous blog ..yes..the answer i have figure out..and i think i have to admit it too.I AM...never mind...haha..wish better get better...admit worst..be the worst..~.~
It is such a long time i didn't blog already....lazy is the point and no feel is the 2nd reason...><
What to say...ERm, let's talk about the celebration of 2009..It is..at 31/12/2008..the last day of the 2008....me and my friends have held a BBQ party at jay Yap house..At the morning...basketball program..evening--->shopping program...at night---->BBQ program..haha..full with activities...That's why I didn't send any Happy News Years message to all my friends...cause after back from the party..i'm damn tired and straight go meet MR.Zhao after take bath...
Aikz...there are so many food left , then me and siew ling keep "burn" the food such as fishballl, sotong ball ,prawn ball , chicken wing and hotdog..haha...After that , me , siew ling , jia yiing and fion go ta take a walk at Jay Yap taman...then when we reach the highway....we can see firework that held at BEACH CAFE.....HAPPY NEW YEARS...
Back to the 'toy land' opposite Jay Yap house..haha...our big kids is trying to do vandalisme on those gadget...haha..sometimes...in our deep down heart...we are still kid ...haha..did i?anyway...hope the neighbour didn't angry for making sound pollution.
While all the people is buzy sending message to their friends...I lying down at somewhere and look to the sky...bad thing is there are not moon but it do have some star to accompany me..make me feel more..good?..WAHAHA.on the spot...i have recall my memory and a funny picture have come to my mind...A unforgettable event..
About cleaning house...haha..FINALLY!!!!....BUAHAHAHAHHA.finished..><...yesterday wake up and start to work..clean the wall, take out the item clean and put it back...After a long term fight and haha...i win^^..
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
BOTHER....am i?
Today is 23/12..now is 11.47 pm...
Actually there are nothing much i want to say or tell...waiting the Garena to update finished then i will go to sleep...haha..but..suddenly feel like blogging then just press a few button and start move my finger..><
Today me , Yan Zheng and Siew ling have go to JPN to renew our IC..cause already old than 18 years old and it is necessary for us to renew..Then we go eat breakfast and play bowling game..haha...me and Yan Zheng is mad...he have play 12 game and me have play 10 game cause later on Mui Fun join us and i give her the last 2 game ..of course,she got pay me back the money..haha
Just now..someone have ask me why people so scared bothering others(something sound like that..)..erm,i have answer the question by saying that cause they scared the people they bothering will feel sick of them..haha..how accurate the answer it is..><..but we didn't discuss about the topic and we have something like change the topic..haha.
Just suddenly feel like say more about the topic..why?erm,not a odd and unfamiliar question for me....I think i have ask and been ask by my other friends...Like the blog have say at the previous blog,i'm going to keep at distant with someone....how much i make it?i guess..not even 1 %..haha...just too much thing that i wish i can be better or close as friends to him..Somehow..the promise is not success..bad?..perhaps..
How much i scared of bothering people?..Just,i will worry that one day later someone will not like to be friends to me cause i'm too "fan" to him/her...Although someone told me that friends can not be calculate at that way..but, i have see some case either myself too when i'm not love someone and the guys is keep looking for me ...the feel of push him/her away always grow in my mind...and i will hide it and be usual...
No idea start from when.maybe when i'm about form 1..i scared that i have make someone have this kind of feeling cause me and it is not fun or ok...I dare to say i'm not feel bad get bother by someone i know or i want be close with nor i will sad if they are not bother me and i'm willing to get bother by other which is not in my "black list"...I'm not saying i'm any kind person who willing to sacrifice myself .just.happy when know that I'm not alone or lonely
Like i say..maybe i love alone but i hate lonely..how ridiculous it is?haha...that's me..KEK KOK WAH...nonsense person..
About change..i means changing my mentally or though..haha...funny when i found that I'm that kind of person have "problem"..so far i though my mother is the only one say that i'm but today..there are other one support my mother...erm..maybe i can save it for next blog when the feeling get stronger and i'm not as sleepy as i'm now..haha.
Just one more thing...Merry Christmas in less than 24 hours..haha..happy to see a gang of friends in same place again...wish it can funny , crazy and happy moment in my life time...THX for someone who give me advice and haha..i'm not ready..><
Actually there are nothing much i want to say or tell...waiting the Garena to update finished then i will go to sleep...haha..but..suddenly feel like blogging then just press a few button and start move my finger..><
Today me , Yan Zheng and Siew ling have go to JPN to renew our IC..cause already old than 18 years old and it is necessary for us to renew..Then we go eat breakfast and play bowling game..haha...me and Yan Zheng is mad...he have play 12 game and me have play 10 game cause later on Mui Fun join us and i give her the last 2 game ..of course,she got pay me back the money..haha
Just now..someone have ask me why people so scared bothering others(something sound like that..)..erm,i have answer the question by saying that cause they scared the people they bothering will feel sick of them..haha..how accurate the answer it is..><..but we didn't discuss about the topic and we have something like change the topic..haha.
Just suddenly feel like say more about the topic..why?erm,not a odd and unfamiliar question for me....I think i have ask and been ask by my other friends...Like the blog have say at the previous blog,i'm going to keep at distant with someone....how much i make it?i guess..not even 1 %..haha...just too much thing that i wish i can be better or close as friends to him..Somehow..the promise is not success..bad?..perhaps..
How much i scared of bothering people?..Just,i will worry that one day later someone will not like to be friends to me cause i'm too "fan" to him/her...Although someone told me that friends can not be calculate at that way..but, i have see some case either myself too when i'm not love someone and the guys is keep looking for me ...the feel of push him/her away always grow in my mind...and i will hide it and be usual...
No idea start from when.maybe when i'm about form 1..i scared that i have make someone have this kind of feeling cause me and it is not fun or ok...I dare to say i'm not feel bad get bother by someone i know or i want be close with nor i will sad if they are not bother me and i'm willing to get bother by other which is not in my "black list"...I'm not saying i'm any kind person who willing to sacrifice myself .just.happy when know that I'm not alone or lonely
Like i say..maybe i love alone but i hate lonely..how ridiculous it is?haha...that's me..KEK KOK WAH...nonsense person..
About change..i means changing my mentally or though..haha...funny when i found that I'm that kind of person have "problem"..so far i though my mother is the only one say that i'm but today..there are other one support my mother...erm..maybe i can save it for next blog when the feeling get stronger and i'm not as sleepy as i'm now..haha.
Just one more thing...Merry Christmas in less than 24 hours..haha..happy to see a gang of friends in same place again...wish it can funny , crazy and happy moment in my life time...THX for someone who give me advice and haha..i'm not ready..><
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