Things , Feeling , and Emotions

Sometimes things might not be as it seems:-)

Tht is something i would think tht all of us should agree on... For example, if someone just come out to u and said tht "Oh, here is rm200, please take it"... would u take it without really hesitating it tht there is no catch behind it? A simple example...

It's easy to say by all the materials in the world... there is no free lunch...

How about in relationship, where feelings and emotion plays a part in daily life? Could it be something u have to provide or first sacrifies before u get something? maybe not in terms of monetary value or material stuff? or maybe i does involve all tht?

I'm nt sure... cause very one is different in their own mind and world:-)

But for me, definately is nt about materialsm or monetary when it comes to relationship... yet it plays a part on in...

Today i've listen to one of the radio station and it says " Do u prefer a chick over PHYSICAL apprerance or a chick with BRAIN? "....

Primitivly thinking of course guys are attracted to Physical apprerance but then when logical and common sense comes in, chick with brain will be the only choice!

However if out of the box, i would prefer someone tht can communicate in the relationship, can if u take out all the criteria of a person tht u r looking, u will find tht communication part is the MOST important out of any criteria...

The person tht u r looking for might be perfect for u, BUT if cant communicate, what's the point? Bear in mind tht communication will not only takes place verbally, it could be non verbal when u r communicating cause "When u r nt communicating, u r communicating to others" so it means tht everyone communicates differently, and will see how good are in interpreting wht he or she thinks and communicate plus how well u cope with different ppl in their very own way:-)

BTW, life just up and down now days but hoping to get better after exam... haha... one thing really bother me very much is, on Thursday 9th April 2009 is 100th days of my relationship and i want to get somethings for HER and have plans for tht day and so on and so forth 1 month ahead.... It's just tht i realised now tht, it's the day before Good Friday, which we need to be in church and SHE's working on daytime, and i have Criminal MOck test the next day!!! everthing just came in like this!!! So all my plans all ruin:-( but the most sad of all is, i can't afford to get her anything:-( it has been a month i'm nt working and i have sign up for my drum course, pay my bills bla bla bla....

Maybe she might think it's just accuses... i dont know:-( i'm trying very hard to acc her and makes her happy everyday, but tht is only i can do for HER.... i hope SHE might appreciate for wht i've done for HER:-) i dont need any presents from HER neither need to acc me everyday, all i need is to see HER smile when she see me... a pure honest and a big smile, looking at me and from HER eyes saying tht she LOVES me!!! tht is wht i needed the most:-)

Anyway hoping forward into learn more things day by day... and to be happy with life:-)

GOD bless!!!

Monday March 9th 09

Haha it has been for so long i didn't post anything in my blog neither i log into my google account... however it has been for almost 60+ days we have been together after the last post in this blog!!! the experience i had for this 60days is wonderful... we've been through a lot.... happy sad sweet and sour:-) Whatever it is, we are still having fun!!! tht's the most important thing... i felt...



Yesterday nite, don't know why our conversation turn weird... can't explain or describe... hope tht we will get over it soon:-)

Now is March and later on for another 4 to 5 months she's leaving... what i can say is, i really wants her to stay but i don't think i want to say tht to HER cause i know going to oversea is HEr dream and i want Her to be happy and pursuit HER dreams... Pretty much a big step at first when we started our relationship last year knowing we're going to keep a long distance relationship! but i'm willing to... i'll do my part as HER bF... i'll do my best,tht's for sure...

Sometimes i doesn't know wht she thinks, or wht she feels... But the important thing i have to know is tht NO ONE is perfect, living on this planet earth. So whenever i think tht way, it makes me more humble and realise tht ppl are so special in their own way... Need to respect that! and also to see the beauty in them doesn't matter whether they are the person tht u lov, u hate, or nuetral...

Just be glad everyone out there that u r here on earth and praise the 1 who created u... Be thankful! because u r special... :-) !!!

Sometimes u might think why u r here on earth... let me tell u, there is a purpose for all things... It's just how u want to see it and also what u can learn from it... tht matters the most... those bitter experience forget it! but do learn from it! because there is something u need to learn everytime u being put into tht situation, and when u master it, u will know wht to do next time;-)

Peace!

KeN

Focus...

From now onwards, 2009 , would be a year for me to excel and shine!!! i have been ego or shall i say LAZY in some ways cause i think everything is easy for me ... From UPSR to PMR then SPM and recently A-Levels, i've been cheating myself often thinking that i can pass through easily every examination without studying IT! ... and same to my work as well...

All the while , i never really work hard or focus on anything in my life... i realise this when i came to KL. Everyone that found their success here, knows what they r doing and what they should do to meet their goals.

Plus last two three months i attented NLP class , i know that i should work towards my dreams , vision and goals in order to acheive what i want in life. I know that i'm a competetive person deep inside me but i never make full use of it. Maybe now is the time.

In 2008 , i diversified all my focus to else where, and now i would like to gather up all my thoughts and energy to work towards my GOALS in LIFE.

I want to be balance in life, whether in STUDIES, WORK, RELATIONSHIP, and not to forget leisure. i'm sure i can do it if i want to. and now in this year, all this would be my resolution for 2009. Cause NOW i got the willing power to change to be a better person for myself, for my Special one, for GOD , and for society.

By GOd's graCE, i'm READY to move MOUNTAINS!!! and ready to SHINE!!!


Happy New Year!

Bye bye 2008 , and Welcome Excel and Shining Star year...

Are u ready to shine together with me? :-) *voik selutelon*

Beautiful TueSday moRniNg.... :-)

We finally together... what should i do next? i don't know but will just follow the flow... what i'm going to do today is do my work given by my boss, then find some find out yam cha especially must find Jason hendix... hehe... long time no see already lo....

Haha today my feelings and emotional really good and balance like the good old days. Of course i never EXPECT it could be so nice and comfortable for the whole time but i will overcome all the mountains that on my way...

this morning when i wake up, a song is playing on my head.... david cook - ALways bE My baBy...
very nice song....

everyone has their own music or maybe a song that always stick into their mind...


WHAT's ur today?...

CoNtinUing oN... ( it's a new beginning )

At about nine pm earlier, i went out with one of my friend... HE is the person i really respect cause he taught me lots of things about Christianity and about life... He also motivates me in lots of area. WHen we having our YaM cHa session, he shared to me about his LONG DISTANCEs relationship. And of course, i learn something from him that change my perspective...

He told me about 3 types of person connected to LOVE....

1. A person that found his/her beloved ones

2. A person found another person that both love one another

3. A person found another person that both love one another which lasted
( we can only know when time passes by )

I think for this moment i'm in the second situation...

THEN he told me that it's not easy to find a person that u really love and he/she really loves you too... so appreciate it!

I see there is a point in there, and after yam cha, i went back home, i call her again... and guess what... haha... of course i didn't make her cry.... i told her about the yam cha session what i've learn... and.............................. i asked HER whether we could try? it's not easy to find a person that u like and she also like u and then she say ok!

i'm glad at least she wants to give it a try, but of course for ME is not about trying , it's about how to keep a good relationship.... to be honest,i don't want to try, cause the word TRY is mean. i would rather say we give some time for ourselves to get closer and to know each other better, in order to prepare from the 2nd situation to the 3rd situation...

I do know that WE have a long journey to go and it will not be easy for both of us, i take it as a challenge from GOD or a trial to really test us whether we r strong enough to stand the pressure, loneliness and most important is our LOVE....

Never know what will happen to both of us, or where the future may bring us... but i have plans to go US to do my masters.... maybe LLM (masters in LAW) of course to practice in STATES or maybe study MUSIC? that would be my dream since young, .... but The MOST important is to be with HER...

I could give up my plans going to U.K just to be with HER in U.S . if that really what she wants, i'll willing too... some might say that is a bit stupid however i'm still living my dreams and ambition... for me there is no harm going out to see the world and broaden up my horizon. therefore it is not the place that i go matters BUT the person i'm with that really matters to me...
i don't mind if she doesn't want to stay in US anymore after her studies... maybe she's coming back to MALAYSIA? no one knows what is the plan except GOD.

So let GOD lead la..... no idea what's going happen, but all i can do , is to do my part as her boyfriend and hope that she will do HEr part as well.

MAy GOD bless!!!

8.17pm Monday 29th Dec 2008

Few hours had passes, and i really think maybe i should stop myself making HER cry... MAybe it's the best for HER and for ME at the moment not to have any relationship (bgr). IF that is what she WANTS. let it be. i don't want her to cry anymore longer cause when she cries, i can feel the pinch in my heart and guilty of what i'm doing...

However doesn't means that i give up on HER, but actually i LOVE her a lot as SHE said in that sentence, * voik selutelon * the secret sentence that kept between us, could be interpret as SHE loves me a lot too...

I shall respect HER for whatever decision she made... i want HER to be happy like last time for i know the purpose of loving each other is to make each other happy... I really wants HER to be happy and would like to enjoy the days with her in KL before she leaves.

For whatever pain or suffering, just forget about it.... if there is any, i'll bear... now i understand the kind of feeling when both like each other but can't be together... it's a suffering and it's a process .... MAYBE later on.... will feel better?

*to be continue*

A raining monday evening...

back in my hometown taiping, rain keep on pouring down... a bit moody but still fine cause i have my church friends to JAM with me... improvising the typical 'we wish you a merry Christmas' song... quite fun... then SHE send me a message and i called HER.

In the conversation my thoughts are everywhere, but i told HER what i feel and SHE broke down...it's not really that good feeling for me neither. i really sorry that i hurt HER while my intention is to tell HER what i feel, that's all... IF i know that would have happen, i wouldn't have called HER earlier. Really really sorry. NEVER meant to hurt you.

I don't understand why she cries but when she cries, i almost felt like crying to... though i'm a male but i think it's acceptable. HOw could i don't feel the pain while the other feels it?

Something i should think about...