Is your heart broken?

I’m not talking about your damn feelings. I want to know if you have had your ticker checked recently. Chest pain? Palpitations? Get to the f’ing doctor! Especially since you cosmically know me in some way. I’m starting to feel like the beacon of all heart pain and I mean that in addition to your damn feelings. I’m sure you all know people with these problems but come on, I’m in my twenties. This is ridiculous. Within the past week I’ve had two friends in the emergency room with heart issues. They are both way too young for that to be even close to normal. Neither of them are drug users so you can cross that right off your list of excuses. My mom was just telling me the other day that my crazy uncle called her in the middle of the night saying he thought he was having a heart attack but didn’t want to call an ambulance. What the hell? Call the damn ambulance! You live across the country. What in the hell is your sister going to do to help you? CPR doesn’t work over the phone. On the upside of this everybody has been fine. Just make sure you go to the doctor. I’m a little afraid that every time I start having an anxiety attack and my heart is beating out of my chest I’m going to convince myself I’m having a heart attack. Like I needed one more thing on my list of crazy. Thanks a lot universe.

Love me like a song.

The most flattering thing happened to me today. A friend and old lover that I haven’t seen in several years was chatting with me via instant message. I don’t quite remember how it came about but he informed me that a song on his last CD was about me. Granted this was recorded four years ago but still it surprised me because he had never mentioned it before. I, of course, wanted to hear it immediately and since I don’t have itunes at work I had to search sites for a sound bite. It was ten minutes of absolutely gorgeous and creative jazz bliss. I’m still blushing that anyone could possibly hear that and think of me. I only wish I had known then.

This isn’t the first time someone wrote/composed a song about me. I’ve dated more than a few musicians and some of them might be a little bitter. Some just share too much. I remember going to see an ex’s band at a big venue and standing with his current girlfriend watching her sing along to a song about our sex life. That was strange.

I used to beg Sky not to write a song about me because I was afraid of what he would say. Some of his stuff is hilarious but other pieces force me to wonder who they are about. He claims nobody. I have a hard time believing that. I remember he told me once that usually when he was dating someone they would keep asking for him to write a song. That’s a lot of pressure. Plus if it was any good he would be performing it at his gigs and all your friends would know. It seems so personal and yet you share it with everyone. See, this is why I don’t write my own music. I’m incapable of sharing my emotions.

Still, I’m so completely flattered.

I'm Baaaaaaack

Hola!
Buenos Dias.

I'm tan and happy and had an awesome vacation full of free drinks at the swim up bar. The water was perfect and so was the company. I drunkenly sang at a couple of places with bands that didn't speak English. It was amazing. You should have been there.

I want to thank my mother for making me go on this vacation as well as buying me the bathing suite in the photo above. She also was kind enough to humor me and take some photos of me in the water so I could post them here for all of you. I personally think this action shot is hilarious.

She also took this gorgeous shot of the sunset.

It was odd sharing a room with my mother and brother when I'm used to living alone. We worked it out though. See, my brother loves me.

This photo of us is particularly hilarious because if you knew us you would know we aren't a touchy family. We don't hug or get near each other. Obviously this happened after a day of serious cocktail imbibing and I'm violently grabbing and shoving his face toward the camera. He never smiles. Actually, we made friends with that guy in the background and he told us that their group knew my brother as "The Angry Smoker" because he always looks pissed. Adorable, isn't it?

Some lovely person in our group talked us into taking a family picture and shockingly I think it turned out well. I'm betting this will be framed next time I visit the hometown.

The absolute craziest part about this vacation is that when I got home and got on the scale I found out I actually LOST weight while I was eating fatty buffet food all week. How in the hell did that happen? I guess Jet Skiing and that five minutes of water aerobics really worked out.

So as you can probably tell, I had an okay time. My mood has drastically improved. I did a lot of soul searching that made me realize I've got options and I'm a lucky girl.

Adios Muchachos!