Baby Emmy is Nine (as of July 30)

About 9 years ago we went to eat dinner at our friends, the Jackson's house for dinner.  Their little Connor (also known as the Connor Connor BOY) was 2 and he said the blessing before we ate.  His mom kept prompting him, "Thank you for _____" and he would fill in the blank with "Baby Emmy." Repeat several times.  It was adorable.  

And how did Baby Emmy get so big?  I can hardly bear to think about it.  I look back on those early days of motherhood when Emmy was a baby and they were the happiest days of my life.  Even happier than BYU and even happier than falling in love and getting married.  In all fairness to Matt, I fell in love with him even more during those early days as a mama because I got to see him turn into the sweetest and most doting daddy ever.  

Here is an excerpt from Emmy's birthday letter:

Someday you might not remember how you are at the age of 9, so I will tell you.  You wear your bathrobe all of the time, especially in the morning and evening.  You eat very slowly, usually while turning the pages of your latest book.  You know how to make your treats last a really long time. Your favorite treats are mints, and cookies n’ cream candy bars.  You love to make things.  This year you made a kitchen, desk, and bathroom complete with toilet, sink, and shower for your American Girl dolls.  You made them every kind of food imaginable out of clay.  You take old pieces of clothing and fabric to make clothes for your doll.  You want a sewing machine.  You are a whiz at the Rainbow Loom – you even created your own way of making a really cool mermaid! You like to wear your hair down, you love cold cereal in the morning.  You get cold easily, so are often wearing a hoodie. Earlier in the year you wanted a Guinea Pig and now you want a Golden Retriever. You like dark chocolate and smoothies.  You love the shows “Leave it to Beaver."

You are very loving, you are funny, and you are fun to be with.  I love to talk to you and be with you.  We are reading Anne of Green Gables together and I treasure those moments with you.  You still like to sleep with Stripey and sometimes Baby Kate.  You are a dreamer, always thinking of a new way to have your own room or more space for your American Girl dolls.  Someday, you’ll have your own room.  But for now, I love to see you sharing with Sophie and Ryan who look up to you so much and love to be with you.  They love their big sister and you love them.  Someday, when you’re sleeping all by yourself, you might even look back on this time and miss them being with you. 

Oftentimes when you’re having trouble falling asleep, you come out and ask me to tell you what to think about.  Sometimes I get annoyed, because I know you are smart and creative and perfectly capable of thinking about things without me telling you what to think about.  But if I really could tell you what to think about each night, I would tell you to think about the ways you have been blessed.  I hope sometimes you will reflect on the happy times we’ve had as a family – carefree days at the beach and the park; fun adventures; sledding in the winter; fun times with friends; delicious treats  to eat.  And if you’re ever finished thinking about the many moments that are making up your childhood, I hope you will think about the wonderful person you are and the person you want to be when you grow up – a person who will fight for what is right, who will work hard to accomplish your dreams, and who loves the Lord .  And when you’re done thinking about that, you can always think about me.  Think about how much I love my girl, how dear you are to me, and how I long for your happiness.  You are one of my best friends.  I am so blessed to have you as my oldest child.  Just think about that for a minute, and maybe, by then, you will have fallen asleep – a deep and blissful sleep, hopefully full of peace, love, joy, and gratitude in your heart.  

Labor Day

Today was a perfect day at Manresa Beach.  The weather was beautiful and the water was swimmable.  It was wonderful to spend time with my little family.  For some reason, at the beach nobody argues or complains.  It is magical!  Everyone enjoyed the sun and surf.  After the beach, we made our first trip to Santa Cruz standby, Marianne's Ice Cream - which was delicious!  And to end the day, I let the kids jump into the pool at 8 o clock when we got home.  They loved night swimming and flipped and floated until we showered them, fed them some toast, and sent them to bed.  Tired out, no one came out or made any additional requests for water, songs, stories, the fan on or off, the door open or shut, etc., etc., etc.  Did I mention that the beach is magical?

First Day

Strawberries and Raspberries

Last week I bought lots and lots of raspberries.  I made raspberry jam, old-fashioned raspberry ice cream sodas, lemon raspberry cupcakes, summer fruit crostata, and raspberry puree which we drizzled over our french-toast.

You know I love strawberries - they are naturally sweet, beautifully bright, and when the first good batches pop in around Valentine's Day so that lovers can dip them in chocolate - I feel a surge of hope that Spring is just around the corner.  And when they really come, I make jam, strawberry shortcake, and pie.  I put them in kids' lunches and top them on our pancakes and salads.

Strawberries pave the way for summer.  We eat them and know that barefoot days are coming.  Raspberries are more rich and complicated - the color is deeper, darker.  This August, as I've indulged in raspberry goodness, I have felt sentimental.  Raspberries are summer's sweet goodbye - a last kiss before we going away for awhile.

To everything there is a season - and I've sure enjoyed this one.

Will isn't quite walking yet, but he's taken a few brave steps.  We have a doll-sized red wagon that he goes in and out of.  Though he doesn't need to, he opens the door to get in, then he sits down, closes the door and says, "bye-bye."  After a moment or two, he then opens the door, gets out, and starts the whole game again. When he isn't doing that, he is begging me constantly, in the sweetest, most hopefully voice, "bike? bike? bike? bike?" really pronounced, "Bi? Bi? Bi? Bi?" And when I find that moment to take him out on his little bike with the handlebar in the back that I can push, he sits contentedly for as long as I will push him.

Ryan's prayers were answer this summer: he can jump into the deep end of the pool and swim everywhere, effortlessly.  He turns somersaults under the water and dives down to retrieve little pool darts and rings.  He just learned to do the monkeybars - and when he realized he didn't need me to hold him around the waist, he laughed out loud and hugged me and laughed some more.  His enthusiasm delights me.  And the other day when we were watching Robin Hood, and it got to the part when Robin Hood and Maid Marian are in love and walking hand in hand through the blue dusk to the tune of, "love, it seems like only yesterday . . ." - he motioned me over and said, "Mommy, this is the cute part!" What a tender boy.  And when we are alone, just the two of us, playing something, almost always, unprompted, he will announce, "Mommy, I love you."  or, "Mommy, I like your voice." "Why?" I ask. "Because it is sweet." And if I even so much as look at him and smile, he will often wrap his arms around me or kiss me.

Sophie continues to grow too fast - she is a teeny tiny long-legged stretched out little bean - but a hard-working one.  She is training to run in the Palo Alto Moonlight Run - and each time Matt or I takes her out for her run, she just keeps on keeping on.  Even if Emmy has given up, Sophie will keep going.  I asked her if she likes running and she said, "It is hard, but I want to be able to do good in the race."  Sophie has her disappointments - she wants a dog soooo bad.  I would bet that she wants a dog just as much or more than any child has ever wanted a dog.  I hope she gets one someday!

And Emmy has been reading, roller-blading, Lego-ing, and swimming this summer.  Of all of my children, she craves independence the most.  She does not like to be told what to do!  But despite her streaks of resistance, she'll still hold my hand.  She loves to snuggle in bed and read with me, and she is full of fun and good-humor.  She is learning to cook, loves experimenting with foods in the kitchen, and adores her baby brother.

Four kids are hard to keep happy - all of us all together all day means a much bigger mess and that usually at least one person is crying.  But now that school is starting, I will miss my big girls and the freedom to pile everyone in the car and head to the library, or the beach, or to get frozen yogurt.  Being a mom feels a lot like your heart is going to burst and break at the same time.

Vacation Snapshots

Look at that beautiful Utah sky and all of those wide open spaces

Fun times with aunts and Rosie

Legomania with Opa

Loving the patriotism at small town parade

Nannie's gorgeous flag cake

Mmm

Waterfight!

Beating the heat on a hot 4th of July

Mountain roller coaster in Park City

Loving the Lego train 

Lilly has a tender moment with Sophie before saying goodbye

My nature girl in her element at Bridal Veil Falls

Giant Bubbles thanks to Aunt Jen

This little guy is loving the freedom to crawl all over the place

Ryan showing off his tricks

My grown up girl went to her first Broadway play for her 9th birthday

We all fell in love with cousin Max

Happy Birthday, Ryan!

I love my Ryan so much and I cannot believe he is 4 years old!  On the morning of his 4th birthday, I over heard him saying, "I feel like I'm 4!" And then the morning after his birthday, he woke up with a bad dream, seemed to fall back asleep, and then his eyes popped open, his face broke into a grin, and he said, "I'm still 4!"

Ryan's birthday this year involved a baseball party with friends, a party with family in Utah, lots of Legos, Giant's apparel, a Jedi costume and a scooter. We ended the day with an outdoor viewing of "The Lego Movie" in my parents' backyard.  He snuggled with me the whole time. This boy continues to delight me every day.

Summer Reading

The Tale of Despereaux

What do you get when you combine a brave but tiny mouse, an evil rat who can't help but step into the light, a lovely and enchanting princess, a plain and lowly servant girl, and some delicious soup?  A great story which left me in tears. I know that this book has been out for awhile - about 10 or 11 years I think - but it was new to me.  The kids and I had so much fun reading it together.  

At the end of the story I was delighted to find a coda at the very end which said:

"Do you remember when Despereaux was in the dungeon, cupped in Gregory the jailer's hand, whispering a story in the old man's ear?

I would like very much if you though of me as a mouse telling you a story, this story with the whole of my heart, whispering it in your ear in order to save myself from the darkness, and for it to save you from the darkness, too.

"Stories are light," Gregory the jailer told Despereaux.

Reader, I hope you have found some light here."

I feel like this little coda captured why I love stories . . . even stories that "aren't true."  Because a really great story has light - it has truth - and some essence of what life is really all about.  And great stories make me want to be great.

Knuffle Bunny Free

The other book that brought tears to my eyes this week was this one.  I am a big fan of Mo Willems, but hadn't read any of the Knuffle Bunny books yet.  We lucked out and got two out of the three at the library. I loved this story in particular, which is about Trixie, aged 9, who loses her beloved bunny, only to discover that she doesn't need it anymore.  I won't spoil the ending for you, but there were a few cute surprises that really hit a true chord.  Emmy slept with Baby Kate until she was just past 8 years old.  When she decided she did not need to sleep with her anymore, I was so sad! She'd made a decision to grow up just a bit more. I could barely get over the nostalgia of my own passage from childhood to the grown-up world - how can I bear seeing my own children do the same?  

This book gave me a little hope that I might survive it - not without a few tears, but with the sense to rejoice in the passing milestones and to celebrate the beautiful, wonderful bigger people that my littles are becoming.