WORK-SHWORK

isn't it lovely, isn't it wonderful...having the familiarity of year-long activity, feeling comfortable and confident of one's ability, that feeling of being needed and wanted, taken,almost, for granted. although there is that constant need to reach out away, that thought, a feeling, everyday, it's that awakening, that shaking, that kick, that will propel reaction, a shaping up it will lick, also to dispel the sick, the tired, the overwhelmingly mundane feeling of repetition. it's time to enter the rat race, to be the competition. time may not linger,but catching up is really just at the tip of a finger...schedules aside, it's time to abide (by the rules of convention). oh yes, the days are long (and now longer still), but the end is nigh, so savour the last bits of it, really live that last high..working as a casual.

you don't have to break the cycle, just live it.

keep on walking. head held high. but don't forget to take in the surroundings. stimulate the senses. breathe in, exhale, feel it brush against your skin. Opportunities come around in the same way. it is the cyclical motion that nature procures as it's stylish approach to schedules...workings of world.

skip, hop, run,
go ahead take in fun,
enjoy the merry go-round,
the life you have found.
round and round it goes,
each ride revealing all
yet nothing,
brush up, feel inspired,
because you are already admired.
by those near and far,
those who truly know
who you are.

TOP 25 LIST

heh...amazing how the 25 songs most played on my iTunes are by the same 5 artists: Josh Rouse, Aqualung, Clare Bowditch, and Diana Krall. (Ruby's Grace, Lyrics Born, The Beatles, & Spymob all contribute one song each to the list though). and all the songs have the same sort of vibe. hmmmmm. goode vibrations indeed. SPRING.....!!

JAzziNg Up The Night

didnt want to at first, felt compelled to, made a decision and stuck to it (with a lil help, of course!). the work day was crazy because of the sales (seriously..WHAT sale..things aren't remarkably cheap..something along the lines of buying a full-priced pair entitles one to getting a second at half price...ok, great if u were eyeing two pairs from before..but it's not like it's FREE! c'mon ppl!) it felt like all the shoppers in the city had congregated at the one store. well, i guess it boded well for the cafe, business-wise. heh. imagine a store-ful of shoppers running on apollo-fuelled energy. oh, how gruelling an activity, exhausting even, it is to excercise one's purchasing power! one day, i may buy (heh) into it...but for the moment, i can only really window-shop. it's the one form of excercise that requires the least bit of money out of my (empty) pockets. ok, am so digressing. STOP. where was i...oh yesh. on my home from work, i decided to stop by my keeper's of sanity (oh what patient neighbours). the short of it, i found company to my workmate's 21st party@Shmik. we hung out there for a beer and super hyper conversation with another workmate & friend, then left in search of a place to while away more of the night. it was all very impromptu (as most goode nights are!). ended up not going to Croft Institute (there was a cover charge) or Misty's (not quite the vibe we were after), but found a nice booth at St Jerome's instead. :O) after a couple of wines, we moved on to the European (the lights came on and the kick-ass 70's & 80's music came to an end @ SJ...as all goode things do) and crappily hopped around (albeit slightly intoxicated, on my part) to the sounds of the cover band. [ohhhhhh staaaaappppppeeeeyyy... where have our pugg-ing days gone...]. as the end was nigh, i made a conscious (semi) decision to not leave remnants of my tummy's contents at the bar. so i opted for a llbitters to soothe the high and then we walked home (to the tune of hoppety-hoppety-skip-skip-WHOa! r u ok?!). :O) but really, the night was nice, not because of the alcoholic contents (ew ew ew ...so not doing wine again...ew.ew.ew), but due to the remarkably insightful and entertaining banter throughout. THANK YOU MY LOVELY FRIENDS!! i got through the door, again reinstated my decision to not hurl (totally didnt feel like cleaning up my already disgusting toilet), and made a quick dash for the couch to lay down the product of a night out for a homely ol' joe. thus,my once-a-quarter social expedition concluded for the term.

yes indeedy

ohmygoodness. can it be? truly? i've run out of ammo...i'm left with nothing to write. the week's events have proven to be interesting enough for a daily journal, p'haps,...but a blog? no sirree. i think not. what else can i then babble about>??? erm..hmmm....what about...mooosic? i'm currently listening to The Beatles' "White" album. and Diana Krall. and Josh Rouse. contented sigh. :O) and tomorrow (at work), i get to anticipate the pleasure of listening to Nelly Furtado, The Black-Eyed Peas (before they became aesthetically-inclined), Clare Bowditch, and...Jamie Callum. but then again, they may have changed the playlist over the weekend..hmmmm. yes indeedy.

ahem ahem. ecoutez si vous plait. merci beaucoup. Tous les jours sauf aujourd'hui!(today oh today of all days...)

was supposed to wake up extra early today to do some urgent grocery shopping (being the procrastinator i am, i've left it to the last square of tp to get some more...) and to make goode of my glorious weekend off. well, i got up early enough (for the time i actually crawled into bed) and cleaned up my room and created a nicer, more liveable messy space. wonderful. then hung out with my hyper active, 'e'-popping housemate who just moved back for the 2 week break from college (yaaay). then, went to meet a friend (moo's trish) for an appointment that had been set up 2 whole weeks in advance! after attacking a sumptious pear+choc tart and downing our coffees, we adjourned to fed square where a BIG ASS open-air dance party for peace had been organized by various melbourne city depts (eg. vic health....hmmmmm...oh did i mention that john so, lord mayor of melb, patronised the cafe on thursday? heh...we had to try real hard not to break out in our own renditions of "welkam tu ow byuhteefoo sihtay" whilst he was there...we're so mean). the festival, Earthdance began at 8am and went on for 12 hours straight. awesome stuff. when we got there, the music had progressed to techno-type stuff (so it was like a massive rave...but with only a few feral ravers...most of the audience was made of the hippy/grunge sort). although i'm not into that sort of music, the whole vibe from the area and the dancers around just really got me in the mood. and i spotted quite a few ppl from uni...familiar faces. *moo..we saw windsor...raving.. :O)* didnt stay till the end, went home instead to pig out on pizza wif reg & maliq. and somewhere between ordering pizza and picking up maliq next door, i LOST MY MOBILE!! and ohmygoodness, i am MAJORLY LOST without it!!!!!! UGH UGH UGH. i still havent found it. worst bit is that my fully charged phone has been switched off (it was on the last time i saw it). so i've either dropped it and it's broken into pieces, or i've dropped it and someone has picked up a creditless phone. dammit. hopefully it turns up at some point. (please please please) by losing my phone, i managed to sabotage an evening that was supposed to be akin to a set-up/date between two friends [me being the 'mutual friend' :O) ]. sigh.

there must be something i can do right...i'll find my niche someday, hopefully!!.
the impromptu night did turn out a lot better than expected though..we didnt manage to meet up with the other party (they must've left early or changed plans...ahem), BUT had an evening of awesome live music @ Rob Roy. yep, poor kid didnt get to make his moves today, and got stuck with me...all because of a misplaced phone! :O) Jen Cloher + The All About Mes were amazing. although i did miss watching deborah conway, ruby's grace, and bernie hayes trio, i think jen cloher absolutely made up for it!!! plus, i'll get to watch Ruby's Grace today at their special sunday arvo gig! ('twill be a nice close to this music appreciation weekend, methinx). after the gig, they spun music from the 70s,80s,early 90s, and brit punk rock(my fave!!). we decided to pub/club hop after that. managed to catch a bit of the Trojan Horns (a reggae/acid jazz outfit), then moved on to the Perseverance Bar for some commercial dancing moosic. a couple of shots later and many many many lemon-lime-bitters later(for me, at least), we were on our hyper way home..on foot. :O) heh. got home close to 4...and still have yet to make amends with my bed. soon soon.

missing all our pub outings and antics

love hugs kisses and goode vibes

i'm such a sicko...it really was one of those days where everything and anything could've happened to me..ms.klutz in person. actually, it's been one of thoseweeks. i'm suffering the repercussions of having had TOO much sleep over the weekend. and of course, last week i was uber-happy...what goes up must come down (at some point...as the universal laws of nature dictate), so now i am sorta coming down..grumpy. i'm like the bad-ass dwarf. plus, today i had butterfingers (and was being absolutely lazy..so didnt want to use my brain at all). yes, ladies and gentlemen...i dropped an ENTIRE box of sausage rolls. on the floor. and saved one. (yes, i got a well-deserved pat on the back and a big thwack on the head). and then to top it all off, i had a function to handle this morning. so i go up to the boardroom, and there are all these corporates that recognize me (cos i'm there most days+"e function chiq"). one of them decides to be friendly and strikes up small talk whilst i arrange the tea/coffee/muffins. and then, one of his colleagues (in a low voice) teases him knowing each other. oh ew. ew ew ew. erm, yeh, don't mind me while i try to blend in with the muffins. like OHMYGOOODNESSSSS. but i got let off work early today (it worked both ways: less hours=less oppportunity for me to drop things+more time for me) and decided to take the long road home. well worth the 2 hour walk...sort of. my weight's still the same, but i managed to dodge the cars that chose to move as i moved across the road and didnt fall when i stubbed my foot (on nothing,btw). yaay.

feeling thankful for the small things

WORD UP! i've spent the day mostly within the confines of my room, with my trusty computer and radio-clock for company. yes, i'm re-enacting the moments of my chaotic assignment periods from the last 3 years, with a touch of nostalgia. it's funny, though, how i quite consciously pull myself into check every time i start to reminisce about school life. it's like i wont let myself get into that mode because it's so...cliche.. and because it feels as if it's expected of you...once a phase or stage has passed in one's life, it's an expectation of society (?) that one will think back in years to come about it...and somehow, it will (or should) have a (thick) layer of sugar dust on it. hmmmmm. but still...it is kind of nice having things to reminisce about. just like how i LOVE looking at photos and remembering incidences or events linked to the captured image. especially with the collection of photos i have... laughter and goode vibes all around!

Wonderful Stuff

there's a certain degree of difficulty describing the feeling(s) i've been experiencing all week long...very spring, i think. happiness radiating from the insides, seemingly without a cause... "provocation" without any. whatever it is, it's like a wonderful sense of the warm and fuzzy. may all of you radiate with happiness too!! WARM AND FUZZY FEELINGS AND BIG HUGS to all!!!

"..look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she'd wanna stay a while...and she will be loved..." Maroon 5

so sweet. a sincere individual reaches out a hand, not realizing the greater good of the deed. small gestures that make a world of difference. corny as it sounds, the small things do really count. even if in reality that smile meant to do no more than just express personal content, the mirror image it commands can mean so much more for another. for the most part, 'tis a wonderful feeling. it's almost like being showered with petals of sunshine, rainbow rays, chocolate drizzles,love packaged in this, the age of consumerism (as we think we know it/know how to appreciate it).

LOVE IS MANY A SPLENDID THING

as much as i want to ramble on about the AWESOME snow weekend i had, i need to share my current favourite song with everyone first! it's John Butler Trio's "What You Want"...and it's on my repeat (over and over again) playlist...yep, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, and i can finally put my interpol cd to rest momentarily. *sigh of content*

so last week was quite a fun-filled and exciting one for lil ol' mundane me! first of, we had puff come down under to shower (& amuse) us (strangers and friends alike) with her unique sense of humour and astounding inability to multi-task. :O) her staying with me was almost like a replay of the crazy fun moments i had earlier this year with steph when she also came over for a short stint in melb. (all crazy kooky people welcomed!) :O) LURVE ALL OF YOU! anyways, besides working, being forced to make time for a certain visitor, and having many a sleepless hour (haven't the foggiest idea why), i also FINALLY made a trip to CHADSTONE (thanks juice!!)...juice got a kewl-ass rocker chiq haircut whilst puff and i got more things to wear. (yes me...and of course, a cutesy pair of culots, too-tight jeans, loads of stockings, and underwear DID add up to MORE than my usual $5 budget!! YIKES!!!) :O) also went for regine's college's play (Peeping Tom)on thursday. 'twas pretty damn hilarious!! goode stuff regimite (parallel lives indeed!). after that, i collected puff (had a coffee with her college gang at l'incontro), headed home to pack, then rolled out to melb central at 1.30 am to meet up with the other 46 people who were going to Falls Creek too. this time puff and i decided to exchange our skis for SNOWBOARDS!!! pretty kewl stuff!

"sometimes a man gets carried away"...jeff buckley.

i'm sitting in joyce's room listening to soulful tunes as i update my blog,play with puff and pebbles (thank goodness the former is wearing a jacket...it'd be difficult to tell 'em apart otherwise!), and contemplate the events of the week thus far. nice. THANKS JUICE!! :O) 165499846513 yes, puff's being an idiot. 615898. thank you puff. ahem.

the way i see it, i can either sit around and lament about my helplessness (job-wise,socially, and then some), analyze & contemplate (blah blah blah) life & its lil chapters (issues,series,volumes)(i suck, no i dont,perhaps, i need to change, i need to...i need...i...)2951841878 (shup puff) OR i could just get off my phat ass and gET OUT! so exciting. so i went out purchased a ticket to 16 classes of beginner's french, took my bike out for more than just an airing, and went river kayaking at Warandyte State Park (Yarra Valley) on the spur of the moment (well, ok..i had a day's notice). 'twas really awesome stuff. overturned just as i hit the first (BASIC) rapids, took awhile to eject myself from the kayak (underwater), whizzed downstream with boat and oar in hand then hit another tree (where another kayak-less kayaker was clinging on to), promptly let go of my boat (by accident..obeyed a command that wasnt intended for yours truly) and was rushed downstream some more (in a "white water position"..yes, i felt quite the pro) and then i swam (uhm...doggy paddled) to the side where my fellow kayakers were waiting. 4 out of the 9 of us capsized in that first amateur rapids..so we had to call off the rest of the journey downstream and decided to drag our kayaks round the hill to flat water and paddle UPSTREAM to our starting place. OHMYGOODNESS...soooooo need to build up stamina before skiing...no really, 4 days makes a lot of difference. erm, ok so i have only 2 days left. today's the day i start my intensive excercise regime. seriousness. :O) heh.

i currently am seeking solace in the soulful (pseudo noisy) tunes of the Phantom Planet in my lil ol room (can u tell i watched the OC last nite...), whilst persistently looking up tabs and lyrics from the wonderous music legacy left behind by The Carpenters online. yes, i am baring my heart and soul...(ear)splattering it on the slightly-thicker-than-cardboard walls. ahhh..the liberation of being home alone. :O) well, at least for another hour or so. then i shall have to practice self restraint (or go to sleep, whichever comes first), as colin (reg's bro) and his gf (tiffany) shall be assuming role of temporary housemates (or intruders, if u like...u big brother-esque voyeurs/fans...ew). yep, the apartment has become lodging station for a few travellers this week. we had joey (kim's friend) for the first half of the week, and now we've got colin & tiffany. how exciting. of course, this would be the week when i've had the most inclination to belt out songs and dance around the house in months(looking like in a state of mental disarray...more so anyways)! even at work, some of the new ppl have picked up on the fact that i talk to myself (or seem to) and that i have a tendency to slur and gabble in gibberish. (in my defense, the last two things happen occassionally to EVERYBODY...u know, those days where every word comes out missing a few vowels or sentences are incomplete...a tired tongue syndrome maybe? so there. hmph).

who knew? 8 months on and i'm still at the cafe, still serving behind the counter, still complaining about being at the cafe, still being misunderstood by customers, still being harassed by myer ppl, still planning to work on my cv. did i mention at any point, that this is my pseudo "YEAR OUT"?
(excuses excuses) (shup).

thanks juice! love is all around! :O) so sweet. today, i went to work (as per usual), went to jb hi fi (as per usual..it's the only other shop,besides safeway, that's open after 6pm..) and totally got into the new Dallas Crane cd (yes, that's how long i was in there for). right now, i'm chilling out to tunes from Ruby's Grace. and counting down the hours till i have to actually "wake up" for work. same ol' cycle. except, it's my 11hour-friday-shift that i'll be waking up to. woohoo! am planning to take in the Dandy Warhol's and maybe Turin Brakes ...at least the music will ease the pain (of my achy feet), i am hoping! :O) oooh, or maybe even Marvin Gaye! yumm.." oh the world's situation should be rated x, rated x" . such wise words.

i met up with my cousin after all the jb-ing and flaffing around the city (my excercise regime). had a bubble tea *my first this year!!*, half-smiled at a certain SOMMMEbo(aa)dy [it's still making me chuckle..if only u knew, moo & stucky, if only u knew...;Op], and then bumped into milton! twas really funny, i forgot his name the instant i said hi. then remembered it RIGHT after i left. :O) my instances of memory failure is becoming far too frequent. i need a lapse in forgetfulness. i swear. names are the most difficult to retain at the moment. not too goode when one is in the service industry. howlah to make impressive impressions and contactable contacts? HOW? aiyooyooh.

this is buggin me...how come no one leaves "drops in" and "plonks" me? or plays tag? well..hardly anyone does...sniff sniff. :O) OH and i found a reason to go up to sydney..to look for work! aha! :O) heh.

dammit. i just found out that the <Ruby's Grace album launch in melbourne is on the 20th of august..the first day of the ski weekend trip. UGH! and it's at the evelyn on top of that (great location, transport-wise..). ugh ugh ugh.

let's see...i've been rendered internetless for the past week or so, and i've accustomed myself to the tiring activity of assuming a vegetable-like position in front of the tele (after work). and now i'm sick of it. i seem to tire of things very easily nowadays. as much as i'd like to think i' m aging at an accelerated pace (white hair, definitive signs of stress), this process seems to have only touched surface thus far (erm, thank goodness!..i think). my think tank is comparable to that of a child's. right, so we're back to the stimulation (or rather, lack of) issue. OH, FOR EXCITEMENT!

"RMIT REVISITED!"...thAt's my work in progress title for the next instalment of my oh-so-exciting life story. hello boys and girls. girls and boys. shims. i am tap tapping away in the B108 postgrad lab..and let me tell you, this place does not do a thing for my academically inclined self. if i had no other choice, i think i would rather rot in the cafe than actually continue my studies in this smelly joint. before you think what i think you may be thinking..NO, this sense of dread and remorse only really applies to this particular area. the city campus is a whole different matter, in my opinion. (biased? me? shup!). yes. another new week has commenced. yaay. and i'm getting better at remembering ppl's coffees. hmmm. anyone hiring?

BABY..now that i've found you i can't let you go...
:O)
i was just thinking about it..last week was actually pretty interesting. first of all, my wonderful dingdong brother turned 30
on the 30th of june! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ko! and then, i was contacted (outta the blue) by a few COLLEGE friends (all unrelated)! i've just met up with two so far. met up with jackie for dinner and coffee first. he was my 'World Issues' classmate in CIMP. heh. then, two days later, i had dinner with syamala (i've know her since kindergarten, in fact) and three of her friends @ chilli cafe. interesting people. also met up with joyce and got my hair cut and coloured and everything. :O) now i'm one step away from a mullet, the 80's, and a social life (ok, fine..that last one is still a hope). i also spent some time reflecting (and reminiscing) on the events of the past year. sigh. I LURVE yALL *yes you..thank you for making most of my 365 days happy ones!!*

also, CONGRATULATIONS!
stacey and maliq (hmmmm);O) on the commencement of your careers!!! and all the best of luck! :O)

amazing...another week has just flown by AGAIN! to think that 7 days ago i was recovering from my excitement of attending a gig the night before..and a goode one at that! VROOOOM..and it's now 1 working day to a BRAND NEW (working) week! woohoo! no actually it's scary. i want to reach out and grab time and hold it really really tight, to hold it still, to give me space to sort out myself and prepare for the next phase: job(like for real?), life (cant speak english for nuts..am prepared to find other avenues of expression..parlez vous francais?), MOVING ON. moving on. moooving. on. onwards. up up and away. the need to disengage myself from my current zone of comfort is becoming alarmingly apparent. sure-fire signs: increasingly bitchy and irritable, appearance thwarted with blemishes, health deterioration...the list is damn long. it's not like i can't deal with stress..in fact, i think i absolutely thrive on it. (good) stress+passion=well, better produce. wat's wrong with my current job? i just dont feel passionate about it. in fact, it subdues most of the (goode) effects of my chocolate consumption. and it makes all the bad ones even more prominent (zits zits zits). the environment and system of the cafe ensures that stress levels are obscenely high, no doubt. but it's the sort that doesnt effect the personal output in a very positive manner. the no-brainer job encourages sedation of the brain. an arts student with a thirst for knowledge? erm, well...stimulation really. stir me up. tip me over. pour me out. i'm bubbling with water..awaiting for the right kind of tea leaves.

total hours clocked in at work this weekend (fri-sun): 25.5hrs. woohoo! achybreakyfeet.

friday was unbelievably tiring...like physically. yes, i know. i'm a weakling. after 11.5 hours of standing, (with only a 30min break for the entire duration), i found i had wobbly legs (more than usual), an achy back, and a blurry eyes...[ well-toned leg muscles? loads of stamina?hello?] :O) from 4 o'clock, we began our 5 hour countdown. by 5pm, i was left with only one other person behind the counter, one on the floor, and a steady stream of customers for company. oh and truckload of jam, cream,milk,and tomato containers to fill, and LOADS of food to clear. am i complaining? no, just documenting. :O) it wasnt a mundane night anyhow. good stuff. dustan was really excited about his impending holiday ("only 2 sleeps!! yaay!"), and excitement is contagious. so, even for our state of fatigue (he was on for 12hrs), we were deliriously happy. delirium reigned. friday was also exciting for all @ apollo cos Ruby's Grace was having a gig at the cornish arms. on thursday we (well, all five of us that are dinosaurs,at least) were all set to go support 'em. on friday, our individual decisions fluctuated every couple of hours...at 8pm, i was all set to go home and veg out. at 9.30, i felt really really compelled to not let work get the better of me and of my word. so i hyped myself up enough to feel energized enough to wobble home, prettify myself (yeah rite..like it really makes a diffference), wait for a certain someone to stand me up, and merrily cab it out to the gig in time for the 2nd set. :O) i have to say...it was SO WORTH IT! they really are a goode live band. friendship aside, these guys know how to work a crowd. you feel their energy and love for the music. awesome stuff. seriousness.

Exciting Stuff.....
wednesday: 9am appointment with the dentist! then, retro shopping with my cousin.
thursday: work 10-6.30. dinner with workmates,p'haps.
friday: work 10-9.15. ruby's grace gig @ the cornish arms, 10pm.
saturday: work 11-6.15.
sunday: uncertainty looms (work?)
:O)

so work was ok today. wait...who am i kidding. hehe. it was one of those days where things didnt run as per normal...like we had our usual 10am rush, then we actually had a few quiet moments!! and then, of course, the boss comes in with his temporary 'solution' to the order and queuing mess that is the cafe system...and actually ends up making it a more arduous task to take orders and get dockets to the register, coffee machine, and toaster. oh and then he comes up to me and tells me how to basically "force" (My word, to be fair) the customer to have his/her sandwich toasted (ie.old sandwich). but that's the thing (i felt like telling him)...i dont REALLY want to sell 'em poor buggers ol' sandwiches for the price of a fresh one!! sighes. and it's like he seems to pick on me...previous incidents.. anyways, for some reason today i could feel that strain of annoyance tainting my usual vibe. probably the catalyst in my decision to go up to my manager and throw the, "sooooo...does michael (my boss) not like me or something?" question. in retrospect, that may not have been such a wise choice-of-action (well..duh...seeing as it was a rash one!). it was funny, my manager tried to apease me with the notion that EVERYBODY gets crap from the boss..and that he IS a DAMn critical dingbat....keyword here is EVERYBODY. did i mention everybody? well, that totally explains why he gets along pally wally with the other old staff and i get the "cheryl, where is this and that and why isnt this done and that done" rubbish..and i'm NOT even in a managerial/supervisor position!! I"M CASUAL STAFFF (dammit!). :O) i still have to smile...the politics of a cafe..ohmygoodness! imagine what it's like 'ouT there'!
oh, and did i mention that i was also, weirdly enough, suffering from an acute case of the giggles..ohmygoodness, it was SOOOOOOOOOoOOo bad..to the extent where i had to excuse myself in the middle of serving a customer because i was doubled up in laughter..at a very random moment. it all began with me asking a customer if she wanted a "bug" with her order. yes, i kid you not. this really beats the "wouuld you like that toasted" inquiry regarding a coffee. the simple explanation is that i was really asking her if she wanted a BAG for her order, but it came out VERY bahasa baku. see? i'm bilingual. :O) ahem. shy.

and then, my boss decides that he wants to pick my brains. oh ok. sort of. we have a sit down to discuss the efficiency issues...and by that time i'm feeling so blech that i actually lose all the fumble and over-excitement that plagues my person, and take my serious side for an airing. yep, even (in my opinion..heh) constructively criticized his "new" temp solution for the docketing system. i morphed into my planner, brainstormer alter ego...then i steppped back behind the counter and shrivelled up back into my semi-bimbo counter girl persona. ...HI THERE!! can i help you?? bounce bounce....

check it 1,2...aa aa yeh yeh.

after all that, i still feel damn crap. it's like an embarassment. no, that's not the word. it's like i feel like...a hypocrite. oh and a loser, maybe. i mean, isnt it just a tad bit sad that i had NO ONE to drag along with me tonight? isnt it?? and i feel like the kid's not going to believe me anymore. oh no!! this is really buggin me.
it's 2am. and i still havent done my homework for work. i;ve got to list down the problems that we are experiencing as counter staff, in relation to customers and service. now, how do i tell the boss that the root of the problem lies in the SYSTEM itself? and this can only really be rectified by changing the layout of the cafe counter itself. there is no space, the system within which we operate does not allow for quick and efficient service during rushes and BUSY BUSY BUSY lunch, the registers are slow, insufficient manpower. how? and how does one suggest solutions when one can't really think? and how am i expecting to enter the workforce proper and do "brainstorming" and be a planner when i cant even find be resourceful in a small project like this? 2.15 am..and still thinking.....6hours to go.

i suck i really do.
and let me tell you, it's annoying knowing that you've just (possibly) let someone down...regardless of the fact that your actions may, in reality, have not had the slightest impact whatsoever on the afore said person. nevertheless, if it's the thought that counts (in most cases), then yes, indeed, i do suck. [btw, the "suck" I'M referring is NOT in least bit connected to any sort of physical action...such dirty buggers]. :O) yes, i did say i would "try" to go for the gig. but isnt it common knowledge that these sort of random statements do have a lil asterisk on the top..for "subject to change" at the bottom of the agreements page (in a conversation). isnt it????? no???
i feel bad. BUT (come come, let me redeem myself)!...I AM DEFINITELY going to support the band on FRIDAY for the bigass gig!! (erm, so there). this i PROMISE. regardless of the fact that i'll be on my feet for all 11 hours before the peformance... :O) no, i'm not whinge-ing. really. and YES, i really do like the mooosic!! they're an awesome live band. the album's great for easy listening. hmmmm...an investment, p'haps...
wait wait. let's get back to the point. so i didnt go tonite for the solo gig. and tmr i shall have to face the music..(heh)...this is the 2nd time i've done a no-show. dammit. but today, i didnt really feel like braving the cold and big bad world that is sydney road (yes, the area where bismi, the cornish arms, savers (and probably a few bits and pieces of that gunned down gangland leader) reside). ok. so that's 3 goode things and one DAMN dodgy. still... and let's not forget that i'd have had to board a tram on elizabeth st...now we all remember that "will you give me your urine pls" crazy loooney i bumped into last year...ahem [*shudddeerrrrrr]. put 'em together and hey! you've got plenty of reason to cosy up on the couch and watch the fab 5 sprinkle their special brand of fairy dust on the latest to join the 'gay or attached' list. :O)

WOOHOO! :O) so much to say, so lil time (sleep abeckons), so many limitations (frozen fingers,toes..the list seems endless). stuckey..i took a photo in your honour some time ago whe i was traipsing around sydney rd..now i've just got to figure out how to web-ivate it.

every time i sit myself down to write...i always have the same problem: i dont quite know where to start and what topic to harp on. (me? opinionated? hmmmm) so, i've decided to make a list of things that i would like to talk about or that have crossed my mind today, in an effort to boost my rather fledgling ability to document..or focus, for that matter. right. here we go.
TUESDAY: *struggled to dislodge myself from the warm comfort of my bed..cold morning **am planing to invest in a bicycle by the end of the week..secondhand or not! *got asked by a customer if i was sick *chatted with my manager about travelling & asia (do i get brownie points?) *cleaned the damn dusty fridge-tops at work..the dust was soooo thick, it looked like several rats had decided to shed their hair on top of the fridge..ew *OH THIS ONE IS AWESOME: when i got to work this morning, my manager announced that it was staff discount day at myer today...20% off! altho i dont have a staff card, apparently i only needed to flash my badge. here's the best part..couldn't think of ANYTHING that i really wanted to buy. HOW SAD IS THAT!! on this, the day i actually get to excercise my right as a sub-myer employee! ah well. such is. :O) *am thinking of goin to watch The Who!! :O) rock on.

GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!! yep..i'm back in blooody cold melbourne..just the way i like it! sydney was incredibly relaxing. exactly what i needed..i got to spend quality time getting reacquainted with some of my all-time favourite pastimes, such as reading and playing the piano~!! who knew that after all these years, i would WANT to list these things amongst my hobbies. really shows how much those schooling years really affect one's life. wait wait...knitting has already made a comeback. now just awaiting the painting muse. maybe, just maybe, cross stitch, although that may be stretching it a little. anyways, back to the trip. i have to say that the 12 hour bus ride was actually pretty interesting and somewhat (dare i say it) NICE. ok, so maybe the novelty of travelling with a whole bus-full of backpackers did make it that bit more exciting. [and no, it wasnt filled to the brim with german travellers...just two. so there :Op] the bus left the terminal a bit after 8pm,and i promptly made friends with the girl beside me. she was from the uk, but of chinese descent. funnnily enough, the girl sitting in front of me was scottish, but also of chinese (or something similar) descent. pretty klew. gemma was pretty fun...and in that 12 hours, our conversation snowballed from work to travels to MUSIC!yep, i met a bluegrass fan with an appreciation for music in general (regardless of genre). so,we exchanged notes on artistes and cds (yes, i brought mine along!!) for quite a few hours. kekekeke. there were two stops throughout the journey...one every 4 hours. the first was in albury/wodonga, whilst the second was in gouldburn. ended up having a hot choc at 4 am. [wat sleep?] reached sydney, had b'fast with gemma, parted ways, got picked up by my uncle in the city (town hall), went to a cafe & book shop near the college of fine arts (UNSW)...a fave hangout of my uncle's, and then headed to his place (abt 45 mins away from the city...northwest of sydney). had a shower, a bit of a snooze, lunch, then headed out to the city for a bit of a memory refresher and then on to UNSW to pick up my cousin (who's reading law). ahem. oh, here's the interesting part. whilst waiting for my cousin to finish class, my uncle (who purchased an art history book along the way) & i sat ourselves down on a bit of lawn in UNSW grounds, and he read aloud to me, stopping every now and again so we could have little discussions about the readings.ahem. must've looked pretty karate kid-ish (yes, my uncle does somewhat resemble mr miyagi]. throughout the course of the weekend, i got to learn and see some of my uncle's paintings and views on art. also got to look at some of his sketches (amazing!). ALSO, my cousin managed to coax some of my hibernating interest in movie-watching back into action (watched extended versions of LOTR1 & 2, Pirates of the Carribean, and a bit of The Quiet American). AND we had quiet moments where i read (YES SOME STIMULATION!!!), instead of making an aimless trek out to a densely populated shopping area. it's all these small li'l activities that actually made the weekend fascinating for me. i can't really describe (especially with this horrible diminishing vocabulary and writing structure syndrome [DVWSS] i seem to be suffering from) how much i actually enjoyed myself, but in a passive way, as opposed to it being a feeling i was conscious of during the weekend. i predict i'm going to be reading this in a few days time with one eyebrow raised, and possibly a scrunched up face expressing nothing more than "WADDA". hey, it's 2am. 'nuff said. :O)

righty ho then. HELLO all. i'm sitting here in my cutesy room at 11A..home of my ee,uncle eng, and my cousin, shan-ree. i could practically start up my home business here..everything i would need is in this room: fax, phone & answering machine, imac,printer,bed,cupboard,shelves,floor to ceiling windows, and PAINTINGS! very nice. i likes. funny how i've journeyed all the way to sydney to immerse myself in the laidback lifestyle of suburbia. nice. very very nice. love that i can cuddle up in the living area with a book and sip nice homemade coffee, or take a walk out to the backgarden where a self-maintained herb and vege patch await inspection and appreciation. where a mango tree bears great fruit and flowers grow in abundance. *sigh of content*

"when i fall in love, i take my time, there's no need to hurry when i'm making up my mind. u can turn off the sun, but i'm still going to shine..."

oh and stapey...likewise...my blog's only read by only a select few. the 'klew' ppl. we is the bomb. "THE MAGIC THAT IS U AND ME". i think i need to find a proper job. but i am suddenly going thru this phase of "oh no..what do i want to do?" how come. WHY WHY WHY. i think i'm just starting to freak out due to a very clueless and very unrefined cv. yes, a piece of paper is giving me the shivers. FIRE! (remember, HELP doesnt reallly grab anyone's attention anymore...buggerly ppl that cry wolf). altho, i think jason mraz has got it all figured out..he's definitely remedying me for the moment.."...when it all amounts to nothing in the end. i wont worry my life away.. Iiiiiiiiiiii WONT WORRREEE MY LIFE AWAY..heeeyyy wooooh". WOOHOOO! :O)

WELLL HELLO THERE MOOMOO!!ahem...MEZ!!!man, still not over a certain techy huh. :O) u know what this is..this is a form of escapism. lazy route, albeit. what and why u ask..well, take me for example. i blog cos i i dont particularly feel like picking up a pen and writing in my diary.....my last entry was AGES AGO..we're talking 12 months or so. but then again, i didnt write then also because i didnt feel up to documenting that particular period. AND THEN, i became weaker and lazier, physically. so typing it is. and i think blogging allows for that sense of living life dangerously...the writings are meant to be somewhat private, yet are written with the notion(subconsciously?) or understanding that they are easily accessible to the 'public'. it's almost like putting on a show. perhaps.
ok. so what does this have to do wif my beloved moomoo bloggin on? absolutely nothing. or maybe just a tad. it's 2.47 am and i have to wake up in 5 hours for work..just about the right time for some good ol' nonsense. woohoo!

HELLO THERE STUCKY WUCKERS...ekkekekee. :O) yesh, i have been a checking ur booger. i mean blogger. i mean blog. watever. nevertheless, i have been rendered internetless on the homefront for some time, so the times that i actually checked have been few and far between. just like the frequency of my brain activity. how do i keep myself busy? i rave and rant occassionally. and then some. hehe. ignore that previous post. should delete it but i want to be able to read back and have a bloody goode laugh at myself. hey, at least i find myself entertaining, buster. NEWSFLASH: my primary school bestest fren came over to melb for a 4 day visit, after spending 5 days in perth (graduating and all). she just left today. it was her first time being away from the south-east asian region. so kewl. twas fun...we sang away the nights (croaky voices and all), ate away the evenings (was working till 6 most days) and laughed away the mornings (me rushing to work,she talkin in her sleep). was damn proud of her cos she walked all over the place by herself etc. a college fren of hers also took her on the "great ocean road drive"..so she saw pretty much all the touristy melb stuff in 4 days. OH AND HERE"S THE INTERESTING BIT: she is cousin's wif jean yong (who studies architecture at melb uni..the one who's 'trashy' party i gatecrashed) and she knows fooch & family from back home. WAHLAU. connections.

here's one i heard at a trivia nite... Q:what's the difference between a tub of yogurt and australia?
A: after a period of time,the yogurt develops culture...
OUCH!
this is the second trivia nite i've attended with my apollo counterparts..today our team (aptly titled 'myer') was made of alison & her fren (laura),sanju,lauren & her fren (amy),me. two weeks ago, it was alison,me,nicola,& collum. the first trivia session,our team tied for first place in round two, but lost out in the tie-breaker. oh wells...as the mc at young & jacksons says(in more words), LOSERS ROCK!!heh.
hung out quite a few times with ppl from work..they're pretty nice. i still think, however, they don't quite know what to make of me...like they havent quite figured me out yet. probly cos i'm such a dumbass at work..can't seem to function in everyday life. GENIUS?? we'll have to wait and see :O). SOMEONE PAT ME ON THE BACK AND TELL IT"S OK..or at least see thru the stupidity...is that toooooo much to ask?????????? no really, i'm really nice :Op
let's see...i've gone out to Vegie Bar (brunswick st) for dinner (brydie,ben,lauren,alex,yvonne,geraldine,nicolette),Planet Cafe (brunswick st) for dinner/drinks [alex,yvonne,ali,ish,nicola,lisa,kevin). also went for dinner,coffee(brunetti's),movie(21grammes)[brydie,ali,sanju,carmen] a week ago.
am i replacing my beloved uni gang? no...tis different. but it's kinda kewl..cos i feel a bit more confident with myself...kinda getting a direction, a bit more feeling for what i want to do...ok, let's face it. INDEPENDENCE. i still need to figure out my passion, my focus lens needs to be cleaned. but i think i'm kinda getting back that groove,vibe,excitement for things to be. i think. at the same time i am sorely missing those ppl who made up parts of my three years away from home. the ppl who shared all those precious moments (goode,bad,ugly,hilariously outrageous) in melbourne, and those who added to the experience from afar. it's like one bit of me lapses into a sort of desolate state,yet there's some stress from other channels that revive/reboot the system in order to get things done. so, i think, that absolute state of loneliness will not (has not?) set in as long as i keep myself occupied..with things relevant.
self revelation.
Q: what do u do?
A: i currently SEEK MYSELF.