倩；Life's drawing without an eraser

感恩！

Tuesday, January 10, 2012, 8:34 PM

8.

Can you believe it? it's an Eight. HOLY. It's a single digit. It's the number i had written down on my white board months before O level, and later erased it when i was halfway through Os. i was so despondent, so unconfident that i abandoned my dreams and goals halfway.

I WAS A BIG TIME FAILURE.

I was bursting in tears every single day after every single paper in that particular crucial week. the feeling of having things screwed in your own hands just suck. the worst thing was having to continue mugging for the paper next day.

My body clock was screwed big time and i was in an emotional turmoil for some reason. i totally felt like i was literally a mad person with mental problems. No joke. Im not exaggerating cause' it really went this way. It's literally Stress Overloaded.

I will sadly confess, that that was really the darkest period of my life till now.

.
.
.
.

Yet whatever done was done. Hell yeah its ALL OVER.
given how haggard i was at that period of time, an 8 was practically Mission Impossible.
despite having a screwed Os, i wished and prayed whenever i had the chance, hoping against hope that i could achieve an 8.
that tiny little hope in that corner of my heart.

i got so prepared to emo on the day of release of results.
i even brought home clothes to change outside because i didn't want to be identified in the cchy uniform caught emoing over my own retardedness.
i was well prepared for the worst.

It must have been you. ♥

Thank you grandpa, for watching over me, giving me an awesome 8. That tinyyyyyy bit of hope in my heart, that smalll little dream came through.
Thank you for helping me to rebuild my confidence and providing that bit of encouragement for me to push myself on further.

I wish to make you proud.
I'll choose a path, strive for it and never regret.
I'll be responsible for my own decision.
I'll be responsible for my own life.

Thank you. ♥

谢谢你。让我重新找回自信，与力量。

我不需要全世界的肯定。
我渴望的只是，爸妈的肯定。
在这个现实又残酷的社会里，又有几个人会真正替别人的成就感到高兴？即使，是你最亲的那些亲戚朋友。
从小到大，无论我考得多烂，爸妈都会微笑，拍拍我的肩旁，说 “尽力就好。。。”
他们不断的给予肯定，认同了我的能力。

爸妈
也许你们不知道，
可是我每次受到你们肯定，都会感到自豪，更加有自信，更加觉得我一定要努力，让你们以我为荣。
谢谢你们，在坎坷的路途上一直给予我力量，鼓励与肯定。
我才能闯过一次又一次的管卡，
创造出完全意想不到的成绩。

我知道你们不可能永远陪着我，
但我想告诉你们，你们给我的，真的太多，太多了。
感谢你们对我付出无私的爱，陪我成长，陪我在求学的路途上共同奋斗。
这次O水准，感谢你们的谅解，也之所以，对我的期望也没那么高。
在成绩放榜那天，听到你们对我的成绩有出乎预料的高兴，
“蕴倩，你做到了！”

爸妈的兴奋让我好开心，好感动。
感觉上，我有为他们增添那么一点点地荣耀，让他们以我为傲，不在亲戚朋友面前尴尬，没有面子。
就因为我要爸妈继续以我为荣，在亲戚朋友面前继续谦虚，我要继续奋斗到底，在来临的两年我知道我不会好过，也或许不会那么开心，受着压力带给我的折磨。
但，我会尽力，做到最好。

爸爸妈妈，不用担心。

我爱你们。♥