Saturday, August 28, 2004
Lesson to ponder about !!!
HOW WE TREAT PEOPLE
Five lessons to make you think about the way we
treat people.
1. First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor
gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and
had breezed through the questions, until I read
the last one: "What is the first name of the
woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen
the cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her
name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last
question blank. Just before class ended, one
student asked if the last question would count toward
our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers,
you will meet many people. All are significant.
They deserve your attention and care, even if
all you do is smile and say "hello".
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned
her name was Dorothy.
2. Second Important Lesson - Pick up the rain
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African
American woman was standing on the side of an
Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing
rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she
desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to
flag down the next car. A young white man
stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those
conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety,
helped her get assistance and put her into a
taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down
his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and
a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
giant console colour TV was delivered to his
home. A special note was attached. It read: "Thank
you so much for assisting me on the highway the
other night. The rain drenched not only my
clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying
husband's bedside just before he passed away.
God bless you for helping me and unselfishly
serving others," Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3. Third Important Lesson - Always remember
those who serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much
less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop
and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of
water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream
sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the
waitress. The little boy pulled hi hand out of
his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he
inquired. By now more people were waiting for a
table and the waitress was growing impatient.
"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little
boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the
plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought
the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked
away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the
cashier and left.
When the waitress came back, she began to cry as
she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly
beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five
pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae,
because he had to have enough left to leave her
a tip.
4. Fourth Important Lesson - The Obstacles in
Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on
a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if
anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the
king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came
by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the
King for not keeping the roads clear, but none
did anything about getting the stone out of the
way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant
laid down his burden and tried to move the stone
to the side of the road. After much pushing and
straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant
picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed
purse lying in the road where the boulder had
been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
from the King indicating that the gold was for
the person who removed the boulder from the
roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never
understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our
condition.
5. Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it
Counts.
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at
a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz
who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her
only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had
miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the
illness. The doctor explained the situation to
her little brother, and asked the little boy if he
would be willing to give his blood to his
sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before
taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if
it will save her." As the transfusion progressed,
he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as
we all did, seeing the colour returning to her
cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
trembling voice, "Will I start to die right
away?".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
doctor; he thought he was going to have to give
his sister all of his blood in order to save
her.
HOW WE TREAT PEOPLE
Five lessons to make you think about the way we
treat people.
1. First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor
gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and
had breezed through the questions, until I read
the last one: "What is the first name of the
woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen
the cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her
name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last
question blank. Just before class ended, one
student asked if the last question would count toward
our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers,
you will meet many people. All are significant.
They deserve your attention and care, even if
all you do is smile and say "hello".
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned
her name was Dorothy.
2. Second Important Lesson - Pick up the rain
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African
American woman was standing on the side of an
Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing
rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she
desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to
flag down the next car. A young white man
stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those
conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety,
helped her get assistance and put her into a
taxicab.
She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down
his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and
a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
giant console colour TV was delivered to his
home. A special note was attached. It read: "Thank
you so much for assisting me on the highway the
other night. The rain drenched not only my
clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying
husband's bedside just before he passed away.
God bless you for helping me and unselfishly
serving others," Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.
3. Third Important Lesson - Always remember
those who serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much
less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop
and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of
water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream
sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the
waitress. The little boy pulled hi hand out of
his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he
inquired. By now more people were waiting for a
table and the waitress was growing impatient.
"Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little
boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the
plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought
the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked
away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the
cashier and left.
When the waitress came back, she began to cry as
she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly
beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five
pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae,
because he had to have enough left to leave her
a tip.
4. Fourth Important Lesson - The Obstacles in
Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on
a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if
anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the
king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came
by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the
King for not keeping the roads clear, but none
did anything about getting the stone out of the
way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant
laid down his burden and tried to move the stone
to the side of the road. After much pushing and
straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant
picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed
purse lying in the road where the boulder had
been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
from the King indicating that the gold was for
the person who removed the boulder from the
roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never
understand!
Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our
condition.
5. Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it
Counts.
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at
a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz
who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her
only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had
miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the
illness. The doctor explained the situation to
her little brother, and asked the little boy if he
would be willing to give his blood to his
sister.
I saw him hesitate for only a moment before
taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if
it will save her." As the transfusion progressed,
he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as
we all did, seeing the colour returning to her
cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.
He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
trembling voice, "Will I start to die right
away?".
Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
doctor; he thought he was going to have to give
his sister all of his blood in order to save
her.
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Be Strong
A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife,
"Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spentlots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed yourneck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds,
"He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you too."
A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife,
"Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spentlots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed yourneck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds,
"He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong, honey, I love you too."
Subject: Singapore Hospital
You know why New Changi Hospital(NCH)
changed its name to Changi General Hospital (CGH)?
Because NCH stands for "Never Come Home".
That's why business was verybad
before it changed its name.
Now CGH stands for "Can Go Home". So business is picking up.
Business in Singapore General Hospital(SGH) is still going strong
because SGH stands for "Sure Go Home"!
Now National University Hospital(NUH) is also considering a name change.
It stands for "No Use Hospital"!
What about Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH).
Not too good a name, no wonder so much problem.
It stands for "Tiam>Tiam>Si Hospital"
and now 'Tan Teo SARs Hospital". So, be careful which hospital you wantto
go if you are unwell.
Good luck and good health!
You know why New Changi Hospital(NCH)
changed its name to Changi General Hospital (CGH)?
Because NCH stands for "Never Come Home".
That's why business was verybad
before it changed its name.
Now CGH stands for "Can Go Home". So business is picking up.
Business in Singapore General Hospital(SGH) is still going strong
because SGH stands for "Sure Go Home"!
Now National University Hospital(NUH) is also considering a name change.
It stands for "No Use Hospital"!
What about Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH).
Not too good a name, no wonder so much problem.
It stands for "Tiam>Tiam>Si Hospital"
and now 'Tan Teo SARs Hospital". So, be careful which hospital you wantto
go if you are unwell.
Good luck and good health!
Saturday, June 19, 2004
HK pepsi adv (9 stars)
http://wtv.joyie.com/pepsi/Pepsi_Thematic%20TVC%2060sec%20Part%201.wmv
http://wtv.joyie.com/pepsi/Pepsi_Thematic%20TVC%2060sec%20Part%201.wmv
Monday, June 14, 2004
.
.
.
. Thursday, June 10, 2004
Focusing on Problems or Solutions
The Difference between Focusing on Problems and Focusing on Solutions
When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity. (Ink won't flow down to the writing surface)
In order to solve this problem, they hired Andersen Consulting (Accenture today). It took them one decade and 12 million dollars.
They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, under water, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.
...
...
...
...
...
...
The Russians used a pencil...
========================================================================================
The 36 strategies , English version
Here is the English version of 36 U guy are talking about.
Use Adobe acrobat to read ... very interesting
Introduction
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....ownload&id=5306
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 1 -- 5
1 - Fool The Emperor To Cross The Sea.
2 - Besiege Wei To Rescue Zhao.
3 - Kill With A Borrowed Sword.
4 - Await The Exhausted Enemy At Your Ease.
5 - Loot A Burning House. http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 6 -- 12
6 - Clamour In The East, Attack In The West.
7 - Create Something From Nothing.
8 - Openly Repair The Walkway, Secretly March To Chancan.
9 - Observe The Fire On The Opposite Shore.
10 - Hide The Dagger Behind A Smile.
11 - Let The Plum Tree Wither In Place Of The Peach.
12 - Seize The Opportunity To Lead The Sheep Away. .
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 13 -- 18
13 - Beat The Grass To Startle The Snake.
14 - Borrow A Corpse To Raise The Spirit.
15 - Lure The Tiger Down The Mountain.
16 - To Catch Something, First Let It Go.
17 - Toss Out A Brick To Attract Jade.
18 - To Catch The Bandit First Capture Their Leader.
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 19 -- 23
19 - Steal The Firewood From Under The Pot.
20 - Trouble The Water To Catch The Fish.
21 - Shed Your Skin Like The Golden Cicada.
22 - Shut The Door To Catch The Thief.
23 - Befriend A Distant Enemy To Attack One Nearby.
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 24 -- 28
24 - Borrow The Road To Conquer Guo.
25 - Replace The Beams With Rotten Timbers.
26 - Point At The Mulberry, But Curse The Locust Tree.
27 - Feign Madness, But Keep Your Balance.
28 - Lure Your Enemy Onto The Roof, Then Take Away The Ladder.
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 29 -- 36 (final)
29 - Deck The Dead Tree With Silk Blossoms.
30 - Exchange The Role Of Guest For That Of Host.
31 - The Strategy Of Beautiful Women.
32 - The Strategy Of Open City Gates.
33 - The Strategy Of Sowing Discord.
34 - The Strategy Of Injuring Yourself.
35 - The Strategy Of Combining Tactics.
36 - If All Else Fails Retreat.
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
ADVANTAGEOUS STRATEGIES
-------------------------------------------
1. deceiving the heavens to cross the sea
2. besieging wei to save zhao
3. killing with a borrowed knife
4. conserving energy while the enemy tires himself out
5. looting a house on fire
6. making a feint to the east but hitting out in the west
OPPORTUNISTIC STRATEGIES
--------------------------------------------
7. creating something out of nothing
8. secret escape through chen cang
9. observing the fire from the other side of the river
10. a dagger sheathed in a smile
11. the plum dies in place of the peach
12. stealing a goat along the way
OFFENSIVE STRATEGIES
---------------------------------------------
13. hitting the grass to startle the snake
14. borrowing a corpse to resurrect a soul
15. buring a tiger from its lair in the mountain
16. releasing the enemy to recapture him later
17. tossing out a brick to get a jade
18. disband the bandits by arresting their leader
CONFUSION STRATEGIES
----------------------------------------------
19. pulling out the firewood from the beneath the cauldron
20. catching a fish in troubled water
21. making an unnoticed escape like a golden cicada shedding its skin
22. shutting the doors to catch the thief
23. befriend the far and attack the near
24. borrow a passage to attack guo
DECEPTION STRATEGIES
-----------------------------------------------
25. replace superior beams and pillars
26. pointing at the mulberry but scolding the locust tree
27. pretending to be insane but remaining smart
28. remove the ladder after the enemy ascends to the roof
29. deck the tree with flowers
30. the guest takes over as host
DESPERATE STRATEGIES
------------------------------------------------
31. beauty scheme.......THIS ONE BERY GOOD ON HIM
32. empty city scheme
33. double agent ploy
34. self injury scheme
35. a series of interconnected ploys
36. escape the bes scheme
Magic Cone , For ladies
http://magic-cone.com/animation1.htm
Spin Pen , U know or not?
http://fun-film.ecdisk.com/others/penspinfini.wmv
The Difference between Focusing on Problems and Focusing on Solutions
When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity. (Ink won't flow down to the writing surface)
In order to solve this problem, they hired Andersen Consulting (Accenture today). It took them one decade and 12 million dollars.
They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, under water, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.
...
...
...
...
...
...
The Russians used a pencil...
========================================================================================
The 36 strategies , English version
Here is the English version of 36 U guy are talking about.
Use Adobe acrobat to read ... very interesting
Introduction
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....ownload&id=5306
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 1 -- 5
1 - Fool The Emperor To Cross The Sea.
2 - Besiege Wei To Rescue Zhao.
3 - Kill With A Borrowed Sword.
4 - Await The Exhausted Enemy At Your Ease.
5 - Loot A Burning House. http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 6 -- 12
6 - Clamour In The East, Attack In The West.
7 - Create Something From Nothing.
8 - Openly Repair The Walkway, Secretly March To Chancan.
9 - Observe The Fire On The Opposite Shore.
10 - Hide The Dagger Behind A Smile.
11 - Let The Plum Tree Wither In Place Of The Peach.
12 - Seize The Opportunity To Lead The Sheep Away. .
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 13 -- 18
13 - Beat The Grass To Startle The Snake.
14 - Borrow A Corpse To Raise The Spirit.
15 - Lure The Tiger Down The Mountain.
16 - To Catch Something, First Let It Go.
17 - Toss Out A Brick To Attract Jade.
18 - To Catch The Bandit First Capture Their Leader.
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 19 -- 23
19 - Steal The Firewood From Under The Pot.
20 - Trouble The Water To Catch The Fish.
21 - Shed Your Skin Like The Golden Cicada.
22 - Shut The Door To Catch The Thief.
23 - Befriend A Distant Enemy To Attack One Nearby.
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 24 -- 28
24 - Borrow The Road To Conquer Guo.
25 - Replace The Beams With Rotten Timbers.
26 - Point At The Mulberry, But Curse The Locust Tree.
27 - Feign Madness, But Keep Your Balance.
28 - Lure Your Enemy Onto The Roof, Then Take Away The Ladder.
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
The Thirty-Six Strategies: 29 -- 36 (final)
29 - Deck The Dead Tree With Silk Blossoms.
30 - Exchange The Role Of Guest For That Of Host.
31 - The Strategy Of Beautiful Women.
32 - The Strategy Of Open City Gates.
33 - The Strategy Of Sowing Discord.
34 - The Strategy Of Injuring Yourself.
35 - The Strategy Of Combining Tactics.
36 - If All Else Fails Retreat.
http://www.vietkiem.com/v2/index/kiemhiep....2b56c302f3f5770
ADVANTAGEOUS STRATEGIES
-------------------------------------------
1. deceiving the heavens to cross the sea
2. besieging wei to save zhao
3. killing with a borrowed knife
4. conserving energy while the enemy tires himself out
5. looting a house on fire
6. making a feint to the east but hitting out in the west
OPPORTUNISTIC STRATEGIES
--------------------------------------------
7. creating something out of nothing
8. secret escape through chen cang
9. observing the fire from the other side of the river
10. a dagger sheathed in a smile
11. the plum dies in place of the peach
12. stealing a goat along the way
OFFENSIVE STRATEGIES
---------------------------------------------
13. hitting the grass to startle the snake
14. borrowing a corpse to resurrect a soul
15. buring a tiger from its lair in the mountain
16. releasing the enemy to recapture him later
17. tossing out a brick to get a jade
18. disband the bandits by arresting their leader
CONFUSION STRATEGIES
----------------------------------------------
19. pulling out the firewood from the beneath the cauldron
20. catching a fish in troubled water
21. making an unnoticed escape like a golden cicada shedding its skin
22. shutting the doors to catch the thief
23. befriend the far and attack the near
24. borrow a passage to attack guo
DECEPTION STRATEGIES
-----------------------------------------------
25. replace superior beams and pillars
26. pointing at the mulberry but scolding the locust tree
27. pretending to be insane but remaining smart
28. remove the ladder after the enemy ascends to the roof
29. deck the tree with flowers
30. the guest takes over as host
DESPERATE STRATEGIES
------------------------------------------------
31. beauty scheme.......THIS ONE BERY GOOD ON HIM
32. empty city scheme
33. double agent ploy
34. self injury scheme
35. a series of interconnected ploys
36. escape the bes scheme
Magic Cone , For ladies
http://magic-cone.com/animation1.htm
Spin Pen , U know or not?
http://fun-film.ecdisk.com/others/penspinfini.wmv
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
http://gallery71364.fotopic.net/c202275.html
not fully uploaded
not fully uploaded
MONYA anime- *kawaii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
Opening http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/opening.swf
Ep - 01 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya1.swf
Ep - 02 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya2.swf
Ep - 03 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya3.swf
Ep - 04 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya4.swf
Ep - 05 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya5.swf
Ep - 06 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya6.swf
Ep - 07 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya7.swf
Ep - 08 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya8.swf
Valentine Special http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/valentine.swf
Japanese Gamer , He's a FREAK!
http://www.free-site.cc/123/20030908_movie.wmv
Driving Test
http://www.venisproductions.com/games/drivers_ed/drivers_ed.html
Opening http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/opening.swf
Ep - 01 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya1.swf
Ep - 02 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya2.swf
Ep - 03 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya3.swf
Ep - 04 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya4.swf
Ep - 05 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya5.swf
Ep - 06 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya6.swf
Ep - 07 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya7.swf
Ep - 08 http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/monya8.swf
Valentine Special http://www.shine-info.com/shawn/flash/valentine.swf
Japanese Gamer , He's a FREAK!
http://www.free-site.cc/123/20030908_movie.wmv
Driving Test
http://www.venisproductions.com/games/drivers_ed/drivers_ed.html
Monday, May 31, 2004
A Professional Gambler
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day.
He went to the bartender and said, "Hey man, i'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."
The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the
Depression, so i'll need to see some money first."
The guy then pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar.
The bartender couldn't believe what he's seeing. "Where did u get all that money?" he asked.
"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man with a smile.
The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, come on, your odds are 50-50 at best, right?"
"Well, i only bet on sure things," said the guy.
"Like what?" asked the bartender curiously.
"Well, for example, i'll bet you 50bucks that i can bite my right
eye." He said.
The bartender thought about it. "Okay u are on," he said.
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it.
"Aww, u screwed me," said the bartender and paid the guy his $50.
"I'll give u another chance. I'll bet u another $50 that i can bite my left eye," said the stranger.
The bartender thought again and said, "Well I know u're not blind, i
mean, i watched u walk in here. Okay i'll take the bet!" So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.
"Aww mate, u screwed me again!," protested the bartender and paid him
grudgingly.
"That's how i win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the bettr part of
The night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of
Drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said,
"Bartender, i'll give u one last chance. I'll bet u $500 that i can
stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind u without spilling a drop."
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldnt even stand
Up straight on 2 feet, much less one. "Okay, i don't believe u can win this
one. U are on."
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg and began pissing all
over
the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a single
drop made it into the whiskey bottle.
The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, u
Owe me $500!"
The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet
each of the guys in the card room $1000 eachh that I could piss all over u and the bar and still make u laugh!"
During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day.
He went to the bartender and said, "Hey man, i'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."
The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the
Depression, so i'll need to see some money first."
The guy then pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar.
The bartender couldn't believe what he's seeing. "Where did u get all that money?" he asked.
"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man with a smile.
The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, come on, your odds are 50-50 at best, right?"
"Well, i only bet on sure things," said the guy.
"Like what?" asked the bartender curiously.
"Well, for example, i'll bet you 50bucks that i can bite my right
eye." He said.
The bartender thought about it. "Okay u are on," he said.
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it.
"Aww, u screwed me," said the bartender and paid the guy his $50.
"I'll give u another chance. I'll bet u another $50 that i can bite my left eye," said the stranger.
The bartender thought again and said, "Well I know u're not blind, i
mean, i watched u walk in here. Okay i'll take the bet!" So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.
"Aww mate, u screwed me again!," protested the bartender and paid him
grudgingly.
"That's how i win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the bettr part of
The night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of
Drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said,
"Bartender, i'll give u one last chance. I'll bet u $500 that i can
stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind u without spilling a drop."
The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldnt even stand
Up straight on 2 feet, much less one. "Okay, i don't believe u can win this
one. U are on."
The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg and began pissing all
over
the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a single
drop made it into the whiskey bottle.
The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, u
Owe me $500!"
The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet
each of the guys in the card room $1000 eachh that I could piss all over u and the bar and still make u laugh!"
