At the moment, I AM GETTING VERY FRUSTRATED and crying. VERY AGITATED. SHIT HELL I DUN WANNA GO TO WORK. i want to end everything NOW. its getting up to my head.
--bOuncy bOuncY *kAbOom*--
8:20:00 PM
Singapore Biennale 2008
HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY WEIXIN!!
My dearest sister,
enjoy yourself and have loads of fun!! =)
Continue bringing joy to everybody around you!
Love you always!!
yixin & ghis
--bOuncy bOuncY *kAbOom*--
7:47:00 PM
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
the black hole.
Its so bleak. Why are people acting this way? Why are they so moronic? What joy do they get? You should know im not like em. I'll never be. I dun want to be.
I surrender. Its not worth my life. At this rate, im not going to be who im suppose to be. Its not worth how my character and attitude starts changing. Its not worth how im so depress,sad and crying all the time. If this carries on, i'll soon be sucked into the black hole.
~~~~~
Diary of a N u r s e.
I've to admit its not easy being a N in SG. And today i've realized why the public here dun really view Nursing as a Profession.
A Profession is a Professional. If you want to be a Professional, act like you're one.
Nurses yelling, showing faces, bad attitude, proud, obnoxious, sacarstic. Probably they dun do that in front of patients, why would you? You'll probably get a complain yourself. Thats so fake.
As a new staff, that was what i've experienced and worst. Is that necessary during my learning journey? I plucked up my courage and started my career where my family and friends are.
It doesn't really matter now. I knew this isn't what i wanna do and where i wanna start. Its all so wrong.
From the beginning of e year, its been bad. And probably not getting any better. Its down down down. Im not heading anywhere. Somebody please pick me up..!!
Its bad experienced, bad setbacks again and again. Why does it keep happening?? Why are everybody so nasty?? "Angels in the front; Devils at the back"
Everybody's human. We work in e same company. We kill each other in e company and soon there's only 1 person left. Will you then be happy?
I can't understand why and how does it hurt to help someone genuinely. Maybe im just too nice.
Being a mentor for many times, i know how's it like to be so lost and yet able to guide my mentee. I think you've failed being my preceptor/mentor/friend.
Stress isn't the right way to motivate a person. Its bullshit.
The working world is just another world with politics going around. You can say there isn't, we should help.. I've seen enough of this blabbering bullshit.
A relative feedback to me on how black a nurse face was. Her eyes and facial expression was terrible. Yes, thats the kinda person im working with. So then u can imagine how shit can that be to be led and taught by this person.
I feel so disappointed with myself many times, feeling so stupid as though i just can't get simple things right. I ask, you made me look dumb. I dun ask, and get taught by somebody a rank higher than u, u told me why didn't i ask. Will u even ask a person a qns if that few ppl keep making u look like some kinda idiot?
Now my mum decided to avoid me when i start my shit.i know how tiresome is it for em to see me everyday so upset. Sometimes i just dun wanna talk to anybody, its as though whenever i talk, its nothing else but work, might as well just shut it. Just wanna cry.
Thank you for being there.
--bOuncy bOuncY *kAbOom*--
5:10:00 PM
Sunday, October 26, 2008
The Piano Life is a Song.
Comptine d'un autre été by Yann Tiersen
--bOuncy bOuncY *kAbOom*--
7:07:00 PM
Friday, October 24, 2008
im so afraid to sleep. when i sleep, a new day arrives. then its time to head to work. something which i never look forward to.
im so scared of work. the fear of facing unwilling people. the negative comments. the unnecessary stress.
im trying hard. to fight back my tears and fears.
its coming to the end of October. and im still struggling. to make the Best out of the Worst year ever. the turning point never seem near.
what if i dun make it to uni? whats the next plan? i really dun wanna be where im right now.
i hate how plans just wouldnt work out. living on unplanned agenda. practically screwing up my life now.
worst case scenarios just keep happening. tell me how to keep positive all the time. im fighting against a storm, i still have to keep going on. tell me how long should i keep fighting it. feels like im in a war. a war which never seem to end.
--bOuncy bOuncY *kAbOom*--
10:04:00 PM
Thursday, October 23, 2008
For all the good and bad times The things we've been through together
We've grown and learnt
Thank You for always being there
to laugh.to cry.to play.
to share everything together
Can't tell you how blessed I am to have U And the Joy that U've brought to everyone else around U
Once Again, Happy 23rd Birthday Yixin!!
Loving you always, Infinity for eternity.
gHis.
P.S.. "sTalliOn StAlliOn stAlLion!!" hahahaha.. We shAll hAve a gOOd celebRation admiSt all thIs woRk and schOooooL!!
--bOuncy bOuncY *kAbOom*--
5:58:00 PM
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Night in Rodante 17 oCT 08
Yay!! Thanks for the movie treat.. Enjoyed myself totally *Sweet Popcorn's still the best*
18 Oct 08 Jamal and Family
Jamal, Haitham and Badriya Finally got to meet Jamal's family!
19 Oct HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY KENSON!! All the best for exams too.. See ya back here in 2 weeks...!
~~~~~
Things hasnt changed that much from the SETBACK. Hate to say that but.. the bitch's still the ultimate bitch.
I cant imagine myself being in this line for the next 30-40 yrs.. I probably would just turn out to be as Chronic as any of em are. and, i will still be a N U R S E.
Intentions just to get out of this place quick. Totally dread working.
Physiotherapy vs Chiropractic Will apply for both courses and see if any replies. I wanna be in the earliest intake for 2009!!
Raiman will be rawking by SG from Brunei on New Year's Day!! Sandra and family will be coming by from Seychelles on Jan 13!! Cant wait to meet up with em!!
Off to w o r k.
--bOuncy bOuncY *kAbOom*--
12:30:00 PM
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
If things weren't bad. sad. depressing enough.. This whole experience just made it all worse.
Monday, 13 Oct 08. First Official day at work.
Woke up and went to work in the morn, to realize tt im on afternn. Got qns why the 5days leave. How else should I spell it to all 3 S i s t er s face. (Are u all plain dumb stupid or what??) Apparently they might think i took it for fun. blacklisted. (UNPAID leave, no money.. blah shit..) YES, I do realize that its UNPAID. I wouldnt be taking it if I NEED it. and I still gotta write a MEMO to say WHY 5 days. So what if e leave's not granted, what do u want me to do? Its already taken, and salary will be deducted.. Which i really dun care less at all. N U R S I N G is NOT my life. not in my blood. It doesnt matter if I care, im nice or whatsoever. and I know its a bad decision to continue in it since I know from my poly days that THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANT TO DO.
Not ALL n u r s e s are nice. and I just dun get to meet extraordinary nice ones. Just more to the nastier ones.
Got hit last night by 'HORRIBLE n TERRIBLE'. I really plucked up my courage just to step back into N again. It wasnt an easy decision whether to N in SG again. and yes, This time it just proves it again. That its just such a STUPID decision.
I gave myself a chance to learn, and to do things well. and some idiots come by just to put me down. Back to ground zero. Coming back to SG, made my confidence hit the FLOOR. (If u know whats been happening) Great, ppl expecting me to do things wo teaching. I ask, and everybody just turns a deaf ear on me. So, how can I learn or do what U want me to do? U dun teach.dun tell.dun talk.give me faces. Expect me to produce results.. Please explain, HOW?
Somebody snapped at me: 'Please dun give em TLC, u've got oth better things to do.' and why are u a N u r s e then?
im traumatised again. by how N u r s e s treat N u r s e s.
i went home tearing and crying really badly. everytime i n u r s e, i cry. i get so down and depress. is that whats work's all about? is this fair? this is emotional abuse.
Im prepared to give up everything yesterday. Its not worth it at all. Life's short, why e heck do u hv to face this. im slogging hard NOT towards my aim at all. im doing for the sake of doin it now. this means nothing to me. Whatever i do, i give my best.
~~~~~
Today
One sway day again with the same ppl. Really felt unwanted. i hate going to work.
Somebody can literally say tt: 'i dun care if u cry, im strict.' (oh ya, even if u're strict, u didnt teach me anything)
Sometimes I just feel that I disappoint my parents. I really dunno what Im suppose to do in life. I've step out with the wrong foot to begin with. If I hadnt made those decisions, I wldnt hv known. I dun wanna give up now. I ll be such a letdown.
Thank You mummy, yixin and aishah for listening. For always being there and telling me tts how 'chronic'/'bitches' are. hahahahaha....
Persevere baby.
~~~~~
Kenson's enlisted to NS 3rd Dec 08!!!
~~~~~
--bOuncy bOuncY *kAbOom*--
5:42:00 PM
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Happy Children's Day!! Selamat Hari Raya!! Eid Mubarak!!
1 Oct 08
Baby Rugrats out in town to play!! Went to River Island.. Bring out the Fashionista in U!!! To White Dog Cafe.. Ice Cream Indulgence!! Off to Sky Park.. Water amusement!
Had truckloads of fun hanging out with all my girlies..
~~~~~
Today..
Happily queueing up for our 'stuffs' (Phyo Phyo Oo and Khin Nyien Chan)
Weeeeheee.. Check out my slot card!!
Reckon this is one nice pic taken.. hahaha!!
..Our Companion..
~~~~~
Vids from Yesterday..
If there's crazzie wackiee us.. There'll be one wackiee baby on a high after high dosage of ice cream..... 'Kungfu Panda'
Learning connecting words.. And then HOR.. 然后hor.. hee hee hee.......
Madagascar Craze at home..
~~~~~
and so.. its been a crazzie time as expected.. Sometimes I really feel like giving it all up.. like why the heck am I going thru all this shit.. juz crazzie. Baby Rugrats out to play!! Yay!!! had loads of fun!! =) Love y'all babes!!
For all the good and bad times
