Thursday, January 2

2013 was definitely an eye opener for me. For the better and yet the opposite, for the worse.

It's been quite some time since I've typed down my thoughts in this space, always blaming time for everything but guessed nows a good time for it.

Like all average Singaporean guys, I've finally served 2 years of National Service as of Aug 2013. A sense of achievement ever since I've graduated from RP and yet there's always a feeling which sets me thinking: What's next?

They always say studies will get you further in life, but that's their opinion. Everyone has different perspectives and anyone tend to be influenced by what everyone's saying, but yet it's a good thing which is then regarded a norm for everyone. Study? Work? Definitely the latter cause I'm very sure that's what my parents would want me to pursue: Studies.

I've tried my luck in getting a job but it always seems not to work out for me. Location. Monetary. Expectations. To be honest, I feel jaded. "What have you been doing since ORD?", a question which always makes me ponder for awhile and yet keeps me thinking.

A penny to my thoughts.

With that, I'm very grateful to be doing what I've been doing thus far, even though it might not be something which I will be doing for a long term, but it's the people which keeps me going on. The pros would definitely outweigh the cons; getting home late, tired the following day and it goes on but I'm grateful. I'm grateful for I've met the greatest people and not forgetting the least greatest people. Technically the least greatest people can be ignored.

"Friends are families you choose".

A cliché phrase and yet it holds a deep meaning to it. It's like seeing a flower behind a tree. I'm very grateful for that. I'm grateful for I've met friends who are there when in need, friends who are there to lend a shoulder, friends who are there to lend a ear, friends who are there for advices; the list goes on and on.

Cut short, I'm happy. I'm happy for I've a great family anyone can ask for and friends cherished like a nut in a shell. Through ups and downs, through sorrows and wallows. Lifetime, definitely.

Looking forward to 2014 as of every other year, just better. I hope it will and I know it will.

Sunday, April 28

Sometimes you grow apart from your best friend and there really isn’t a good reason as to why. It might be completely one-sided too, which makes you feel even worse. You’re drifting away and they still feel like nothing’s changed. Sometimes you just grow apart from people. You get older, your personality matures or devolves, and all of a sudden you find yourself not having a whole lot in common with someone you once did. This is just a casualty of growing up.
For some reason, “growing apart” is the hardest thing to come to terms with. You wish you could just get into an explosive fight with your best friend and use that as a scapegoat. The reality, however, is that you will always love and care about them.

You just don’t necessarily feel the need to have them in your life anymore. The catch up phone calls are becoming forced, you’re grasping at straws trying to come up with conversation topics. They live in a different state and aren’t involved in the day-to-day of your life which makes things difficult. You begin to dread these catch up sessions because not only do they take forever but there’s this underlying tension you are both trying so hard to avoid. The more you try to pretend the friendship is the same, the more obvious it becomes that it’s changed.

 Or do you just let it slowly die? You ignore their phone calls and then finally you put the nail in the coffin by being in the same city as them and “forgetting” to see them. That’ll let them know that it’s officially over. I don’t know. You wish you could just be honest with each other but that’s hard, But you know what? Lying is hard too! It might even be harder than telling the truth. If you grow apart from someone, can you just be real about it? Can you ever tell them how you really feel?

 Maybe. Regardless of how you choose to have the friendship end, it’s over. And sometimes that realization is harder to come to terms with than anything else.

Saturday, July 21

I want to fly to Thailand, invest in a noodle stall and make noodles.
Make some money and fly to France to steal famous paintings and use it as my carpet back in my Japan home. Saw all my wooden furniture and use it as firewood for the homeless. Runaway to Hawaii and live in a resort for a year and swim to America and beg for clothes. Hitch a ride to Mexico to drink margaritas, and jog to Brazil to make friends. Take a boat across the Atlantic and settle down in India. Take a hike to Mount Everest and put my secondary school flag there. Hike down and travel to Cambodia for a cup of Coffee. Walk to Russia to cut my hair and fly back to Singapore.

Then tell all my kids a different story.

Monday, June 18

Sometimes I do wonder what really happened.

We used to be close, as in real close. Skipping lunch as well as breaks to smoke. Going to and fro school, sharing all my thoughts and vice-versa. We're like doing everything together through thick and thin. But did I mention, it was "used to", 2-3 years back. Looking at things now; we're almost strangers, all of you.

Sorry.

Wednesday, April 18

It's been quite some time, actually a long time, since I've updated this humble space of mine. It might be the only way for me to spend my time in camp updating here; which explains how boring life is in camp.

Nevertheless, still awaiting the day when I ORD from NS, sadly on Aug 2013. That aside, been enjoying life pretty much, friends and new friends. With this, there's also a price to pay, time management. Learnt a good lesson of managing time for your friends a few years back, though it still struck me hard until today; and for that I'm sorry, but still apologies still does not make up to it. Move on I guess? Words are easier said than done. Perhaps things won't be like how it used to be, like how it was 3-4 years back.

Friday, March 9

The 3 C's of life: choices, chances and changes. You must make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change. Life can be painful, tough, dreadful even but it's never a waste of time, that's the whole point of it. take everything good or bad as an opportunity to prove yourself right or wrong and it will be all good again!

Tuesday, August 30

Weather forecast: It won’t be a life where every day is clear and mild, but even if a pitch black darkness passes where nothing can be seen, if this you and I are together, I feel like can muster up the courage and continue walking.

I raced up to now without rest, but I was always that child that circled around the same spot, but after meeting you, I learned to occasionally stop to reflect, would allow me to go further.

That was how it used to be.