I need to exercise greater self control over myself.

comment? / top

I almost forgot my username and password.

Currently, I'm feeling remorseful about what I did just now which has caused my mum and bro to argue. (and they are not talking to each other now) All because I didn't think before I spoke. Does this means that I have much to improve on my EQ?

On the other hand, I feel stressed too. Not exams stressed. More of Oh-shit-what-have-I-done-and-landed-myself-into-deep-shit kind of stress. Stressed and worried that I will end up screwing up my university application. Making things difficult for myself. I just wish I could take a peek into the near future on various actions that I think I am going to make now, before deciding. I fear that I will not get what I want eventually, after all the efforts put in.

Happy go lucky as I always appear, I am actually feeling scared. Sometimes, somehow scared that I don't do well enough in certain aspects of life. An unwanted voice that always creep into me telling me, "No its not good enough, you've gotta do better" Better? Better in terms of? Deep down, I know. I have always wanted to be better than everyone. Who doesn't?

I need to make another decision now.

comment? / top

feel damn damn damn frustrated and disappointed with myself. );

comment? / top

Hours spent discussing about our dreams, and I am still not very sure of what I want to do in future... I want to be a doctor, but it is going to be very difficult as I am not even in JC..
I wanted to take a Diploma in Biomedical Science at Singapore Poly specialising in Cardiac technology in the 2nd year, but ended up taking Business in Ngee Ann.. Wonder what would be me today, if i have chose to listen to my heart instead of head.

To think that I pictured myself working in an office.. But who knows, i might really end up being an OL even though I keep saying that I dont want to be one.

Oh well! I know that I am interested in biology. Thus, I have decided to do some research work...

B.Sc. (Hons) in Biological Sciences. -- NTU
Ngee Ann Poly:
Diploma in Biomedical Science
Dip in Biotech
Dip in Molecular Biotech
etc.

After seeing that all these are the requirements for biology courses in universities, my heart sank. Literally. However, i discovered something else! ^^

"Diploma with Merit holders without the above diplomas may be admitted into the 1st year of the programme and exemption of courses granted on a case-by-case basis" Wee. This spells some hope. At least this means that I can still try to go for Science considering the diploma that i will be getting in 2 years time.

Possible areas of employment include:
Biomedical and health care. Eg. clinical researchers, healthcare support staff, diagnostic scientists.
Research and Development. Eg. Staff scientist within Research Institides
Multinational pharmaceutical companies
Management. Eg. Mangers and administrators in Life Science-related ventures
Education
Medicine
Life science support network
Law. eg. patent and intellectual property law related to scientific discoveries
Safety and Quality Control. eg. Safety officers, highly analytical quality control officers within private and public industry
and many more.

Hmm. Actually most of the jobs listed above sounds boring to me. Its like I am only interested to study biology. However, doing research as my core job, i think i will be boredd.

Anyway, cant seem to find much information for NUS, perharps I'll do it some other day.

Argh, no where near my dreams, but at least I'm one step closer to discovering what I want in my life. I will keep thinking about what I want to do in future frequently so as to be all armed when I graduate in 2011! Dont want to graduate feeling lost and clueless about my future.

comment? / top

Hmm. The frequency of me doing not doing things when I am supposed to has become higher, to the extent that I got angry with myself. Well, i shouldnt even be using 'supposed'.

LaoLao's going back to China at the end of this week and I feel quite worried for her. I like her a lot. Why must she come and go back... Haha. When I was younger, I used to cry out loud when she have to return to Beijing.

She had came down with a flu, a bad one to add on. On top of that, its snowing like nobody's business in Beijing. Compare & contrast Singapore's weather with Beijing's. >20 degrees celsius difference. She's not young now btw. Just hope that her body is fit enough to withstand the climate change and all the family stuffs that she have yet to settle. Be strong laolao!

: sob x 100. Tmrw might be the last time I will get to see her. Thats part and parcel of life i guess. Meetings and departures are hard to avoid.

Anyway recently I digged out my diary and decided to read it. Little did i know that i can get entertainment from reading it and end up laughing at the contents inside. Haha. Which also means I'm laughing at myself actually. Its funny to see how one changes one's writing style from worxzzxxz-era to now. Lol. New source of entertainment. Shall be consistent with my diary writing soon. :)

comment? / top

Overseas attachment: To go or not to go?




I spend nights pondering about it, but yet till now, i cant reach to a final conclusion. Partly due to obstacles like $. Thoughts of all kinds came to my mind. Why am I considering overseas attachment?


1) Is it because I just came back from Shanghai, hence still in the Shanghai-mood, therefore wanting to go back there? (this, i'm not able to answer myself)



Whats making me want to go is


1) I believe that staying alone (excluding friends) overseas while working will enable me to gain more life skills and also become a stronger person.


2) I want to gain experience and have something extra


3) I believe that in life, we have to seize every opportunity given. And this is a good one.


4) Lastly, i think it will look good on my resume.



Whats stopping me is


1) MONEY


2) Fear of not being able to work independently w/o friends and teachers.


3) 6 months is not very long nor short. I definitely will miss/worry/think about my family. & miss friends.


Of course, working overseas will be a tougher job than working in Singapore. In Singapore, anything happen at work, you can always call the LO, complain to your friends, or whatever. Overseas, i guess most of the time you have to depend on yourself. Friends told me to follow my heart. Friends asked if I am confident about myself to all these. Friends told me to stay in Singapore to earn $. Sister tell me to follow my heart. Mummy told me to follow my heart too, and ask about the subsidy.



So, what do i tell myself? Follow my heart? Sometimes I wish it can be that easy..



Hence, my final decision now is to consult Sue Tan maybe tmr (depending on when is she free) about the subsidy part. If the subsidy is enough, I will go for it. I even thought of the companies that I am interested in. They are Mary Kay (if i must be salesgirl for it, forget it manz), Hyatt, OCBC (but no accommodation..). I think Four Seasons is not bad also. Gallery Suites i never heard of it till OIP so maybe forget it.



I've taken the step out for many things. So this time round, I'm gonna do the same. (Ask sue tan about the relevant information, and make my choice. I cant drag this any longer!) I hope everything will work out for me at the end of the day :)


-





On another note, I have 3 birthday celebrations this year!



1 with my family. 1 with beloved n3 (w/o leo ): ). 1 with my dear poly mates.



I ate tze char with my family!!! Nice nice. I get to choose the foooooood. Got Sweet and Sour fish, black pepper pork, kang kong, oat prawn, tie ban tofu. Though it was a simple dinner near my house, its always the thought that counts! :D



I went Old Beijing with n3. (the buffet not a lot of variety so i dont recommend it) They wanted to play the MMS game but i couldnt quite follow the picture, so end up they tell me where to go! Received lovely balloons <3 lovely blazer <3 lovely fruit cake w lemon <3 It feels nice to have such friends as I always know that I can fall back on them no matter what :)

As for my poly mates, the celebration took place at Makan place during lunch! I went to toilet with Han and when i was back, Ali was missing.. They say she went toilet but the thing is i dont see her at the toilet! Then my hair was messy and hanny offered to tie it for me and in the mist of tying, i saw Suefei's cheeky face popping out from behind a banner! So i sensed something already la =d I got a strawberry shortcake! Yummy. Plus pretty blue chiffon dress + perfume from ali aba cass and cali :))



Shall check my mail now to see if Sue Tan replied!

comment? / top

Mood: sleeeeeeeeeepy

It is already nearing to the end of my 3rd week at Shanghai! Amazing, time passes really fast. Also this week it seems that we have lesson almost everyday in the morning. To add on, tomorrow i have lesson! (on a saturday) Somemore it is IS china culture. The professor is not boring, but i always feel like sleeping in her lesson. I think her voice is too soft and high, thats why.

Today after bcomm the 4 of us went to korean restaurant to have our lunch! the rice cake & sweet potato with honey/caramel is simply awesome. Shall order this again the next time i go there. Anyway i spent like $5+ for the food at the korean restaurant. Quite reasonable la, since the service is good and food is nice etc.

Headed down to Xin Yang Road to shop after lunch with the rest of them. Hanny didnt go cause not feeling very well. As compared to Qi Pu Lu, shopping here is much more relaxed and organised! (Though i think clothes at Qi Pu Lu is nicer) Bought stuff which makes me think whether my luggage will be overloaded! Its quite cool i felt, cause the shopping area is directly situated at the Subway station itself. Meaning you need not go out of the station to do shopping. So when you want to go back, you just walk to the control station and there you go!

Something unexpected happpened to me today. T_T! I got "kiap" by the train door! People coming in do not want to give way to me even when the door is about to close, and LY was helping me out so ended up i got stucked in the middle. Thank goodness it is not my neck that is being "kiaped" Now there's a bruise on my arm already. Haha!

23 days to home sweet home :D

comment? / top