A wee little update.

A lot has happened in adoption land since my last post…so lets bullet point this and get the high points out of the way…

• During the summer and fall, we sold over 1,000 of our LOVE t-shirts and raised over $16,000 in the process! Mind. Blown. We shipped shirts literally all over the United States and to at least 4 other countries! I don’t even have words needed to express how much it meant to have SO MUCH SUPPORT from our community near and far!

• We wrapped up our home study, filed paperwork with USCIS, waited on approvals from USCIS, and got our dossier ready to send to China. Just know that means we did paperwork. And some more paperwork. And then we did some more paperwork for the paperwork. Then on February 2, alllllll of that hard work culminated in our dossier being sent to China.

• On February 8, a very unexpected mid-day phone call from our social worker resulted in us finally meeting our sweet baby girl! Emails and phone calls and many prayers followed, and we filed the official paperwork to make her a Cook and received our pre-approval on February 26. We couldn’t share with the general public until we received that pre-approval, but we shared with the kids in a Chinese New Year surprise that they had a new baby sister coming soon!

Sam really is excited. His face just didn't get the message yet.

Ellie Kate said...."Awwww, thank you, Mommy!"

Cook #4. Sweet Hadley.

Seeing a picture of your child for the first time is all of the emotions. All of them. In about 60 seconds time. And on repeat. In your brain. All day, every day.

Overwhelmed. Wow. That’s my daughter.

Scared. Can I take care of her the way she needs?

Excited. Can’t wait to bring her home!!

Amazed. God is giving us this tiny life to care for!

Anxious. Will she love us??

Apprehensive. How will she handle being taken from all she has ever known??

Concern. We have four kids………

So happy. We have four kids!!

A few baby sister stats: She's 21 months old. She will be 2 the beginning of May. She already weighs 25 pounds. (For reference, EK weighs 26 lbs. I think we may need to call her older sister instead of big sister.....) She is in a great SWI in southern China and is actually living with a foster family there right now to ensure she gets the care she needs each day. She was previously at a medical foster home in Guangzhou. We were so glad to hear that she had been there and they had been providing all of her care! They have made a CD of all the pics they have of her for us to pick up while we are in China. (In case that doesn't register, that's a huge deal to be able to have pics from her past!)

So what happens now?!?

We are waiting on what China calls the LOA. Letter of Acceptance. Once we have this in hand, there are a million other tiny steps (and more paperwork), but we will travel about 2 to 2.5 months later. I’m holding my breath for mid to late June. Either way….we are going to China this summer!!

And in addition to just waiting somewhat impatiently, we have a few things going on to help us reach our financial goals for this adoption. It’s a final number of over $35,000 if you are keeping track. Transparency, people.

We launched another t-shirt sale. (Kenny thinks I’m crazy. I just keep assuring him that it won’t be 1000 shirts this time………although, who am I to limit the Lord and His provision….) This tee was inspired by something we say to Ellie Kate quite often as we tackle our doctor visits and great fear of all things medical.

Be Brave.

You’ve got this, sister. You may be sacred or sad or downright terrified. But be brave.

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. Psalm 56:3-4

As we’ve talked with the kids about Hadley and expected (and maybe unexpected) hospital and doctor visits, it didn’t take long for sweet Ellie Kate to pipe up and say, “Haa-wee! Be brave!!”

She’s catching on.

So here ya go….

And because it’s been requested, we have brought back the short sleeve LOVE: No Translation Needed tees as well! LAST ORDER!! If you missed your chance last year, this is it!

Both tees are $20 (add $2 for 2/3XL). If you are local, I’ll deliver! Or I can ship ANYWHERE. Just add $3 for first tee and another $1 for each additional tee. (International shipping may be a little more. Just throwing that out there.)

Tees can be ordered from the links below.....but ONLY until SATURDAY, MARCH 31! P.S. That's only 5 days away!

• LOVE: No Translation Needed tee

• Be Brave tee

Back to the aforementioned provision……… [loud whisper] ORDER. A. SHIRT.

Many of you have also asked about making donations to our adoption. We got word a few weeks ago that we have received a $3,000 matching grant through our church, Redemption Hill Baptist Church, and Lifesong for Orphans. This means if we receive $3,000 in donations, they will match it!! We have worked with Lifesong with each of our adoptions and they have been fantastic to work with! And this gives a place to make tax-deductible donations and 100% of your donation will go directly to bringing home Hadley!!

A few ways to donate….

• Mail a check: Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744

• Donate online: HERE

With both options, just make sure you include our family name and account number. Cook, #7579.

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I've said it before. I'll say it again. And probably again before this is all over with...

You guys amaze me.

We are overwhelmed at the prayer support, financial support, t-shirt buying support, living daily life support. As believers, we are all called to support orphan care. And for each of us, that looks different. The Lord has equipped each of us with the ways that we can support this mission. Not everyone can bring home a child. Not everyone can support someone financially. Not everyone wears t-shirts (but I beg of you, why not??).

But everyone can do something.

And our village may just be one of the best around.

I'm crying now, which means it's time to wrap this up. Thank you for being our village. I can't wait to share more of our sweet Hadley with you.

I think she's gonna rock everyone's world!!

I'm not joking.

Wow.

Do you guys know what you've done??

When we launched our t-shirt fundraiser in July, I secretly hoped we could sell about 100 shirts and make about $1500. Maybe $2000 if we were really lucky.

Needless to say...God had much bigger plans for this fundraiser. MUCH BIGGER. Like completely overwhelming, make me cry, where in the world did that come from plans!

Are y'all ready for this...........??

To date, we have sold 704 tshirts. And made $11,220.12!!!

I'm not joking. Dead serious. And every single cent is getting us that much closer to baby sister!

I could tell you a million stories from all the people that bought shirts! All the ties to us or to our family. Ties to friends. Ties to adoption, ties to hearing loss, ties to kids with all kinds of special needs. People that were absolute strangers. People that bought 34 shirts with plans to gift them to their whole family for Christmas. People that gave WAY over and above what their shirts cost just because they love our family. Teachers from all 3 of the kids schools that supported our endeavors. A church family that once again showed up big time! Posts that were shared hundreds of times just to get the word out. I shipped shirts all over the United States. As well as to Canada, France and Australia. And one will be making its way to Zimbabwe in just a few weeks as well.

Unreal.

I LOVE seeing random Facebook posts and people have on OUR shirt. Or folks will tell me..."I saw someone with your shirt on so I introduced myself!" I mean...all corners of our worlds are colliding and I couldn't be more thankful!

So are you ready for what's next??

I'm being bombarded with requests for a long sleeve version of our tee....

Friends, ask and you shall receive. Here it is, altered slightly so when your husband asks you why you bought another t-shirt from that crazy lady in Kentucky, you can tell him it's NOT the same shirt!

They are Comfort Color (LOVE!) long sleeve tees that fit true to size. And yes, available in brick, seafoam, charcoal or navy! Shirts are $30 each ($34 shipped).

ORDER HERE!!

I'm not expecting to sell another 700 shirts, but every shirt sold, 100% of the profit goes to bring home baby sis. So, it's fall. Buy another t-shirt. Or buy a Christmas present! Or buy a happy October gift for yourself! Whatever you have to tell yourself to justify....

Again, can't say thank you enough to everyone who has supported us thus far! Could not have done it without you guys! Our village is the best village EVER!

And PS...in case you actually wanted an adoption update...we had to put everything on hold at the end of the summer while we moved. Something about they want to see the house you are actually bringing home said child to......... So, moving happened. Social worker came and saw new house. (I'm gonna assume it's because I've done this so many times, but this house was straight up chaos when she came! And I didn't even care. Because I don't have time to!! She said she needed to see beds, fire extinguisher and smoke alarms. I'm just going to hope she ignored the mass quantities of boxes and furniture out of place and bags of trash and piles of laundry.....) Our homestudy is being finished up now. We are waiting on some clearances from the state of Alabama (c'mon Bama, step it up!) and then we can move this train along and get that dossier ready to head to China!

(order a shirt.)

Present and accounted for.

Ok.

I'm doing it.

I'm making no promises on how often it will be updated, but the 'ol blog is being resurrected.

Let's just take a moment and let that soak in..... This. Is. A. Big. Deal.

I know, I know.... I let the world know over a month ago that the Cook 5 was growing again and then just left you hanging........

So here's the quick and dirty on the details. Hopefully, in the next year, we will welcome a new baby sister from China!

We are in the process of getting our home study updated (again.) and could be matched at any point. Since we are practically experts (right....) in our tiny world of hearing loss and we have the best support system in the WORLD in our doctors and teachers and therapists and schools...we have requested a child that is hard of hearing or deaf. I know that sounds like craziness to some people, but knowing that God has called us to adoption, specifically special needs adoption, and that we have all these amazing people around us...I can't imagine why we wouldn't take off down this path again. I've always said that having a child who is deaf is the easiest hard thing I've ever done.........so let's do it again!!

Which leads me to my next point....

We will be doing several fundraisers for this adoption, with the first being a t-shirt. This is our first run at a t-shirt fundraiser, but I have high expectations from you guys!! Read as: buy a shirt. Now.

Because of our sweet Ellie Kate and our new little one waiting for us, this shirt has a special inspiration tied to hearing loss that is also just universal. Even though EK didn't hear sound until she was 27 months old, she knew the "I love you" sign very early on....we also taught our boys this sign when they first came home and we were dealing with major language barriers. It was around the clock charades up in here, no lie! I digress.... Kenny and I also used this sign when were just dating. But I'll spare you the sappy details. Needless to say, it's kinda just become something our family does.

Love. No translation needed.
$20 each -- sizes 2T through Adult 3XL available!

I love this shirt.

Not only does the design point to something close to our hearts, but it's one of those super soft t-shirts you want to wear everyday.

So no judgement if you order one to wear everyday...

Our goal for this shirt is to raise enough money to help us cover our next agency fee, which is about $3,500. I'm just being transparent with you guys. Adoption ain't cheap. And that's a bunch of t-shirts!

This t-shirt will be a pre-order. Orders will be taken through July and hopefully delivered/shipped out mid-August at the latest.

To help us maintain some sort of sanity with this, please use the link below to place your order and then you can use Paypal, Venmo, check, cash, whatever to pay for your shirts. I will be more than willing to hand deliver, meet, or ship shirts to anyone who wants one, so don't let location be a deterrent!

COOK FAMILY ADOPTION T-SHIRT FUNDRAISER

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts from walking on this journey once again with us!! We are very excited and couldn't imagine adopting again without the overwhelming support from our family and friends that always floods our way! We covet your prayers as we prepare for big changes for our family.

And don't forget to order your shirt!!

P.S. I'll update the pics on the blog soon. I promise!

Everyone needs a good book.

Chapter 7.

The day.

That's the chapter that got me. Sitting in mechanic's waiting area waiting on my car. While sobbing.

I've done that, been there.

The moment you are handed the child you've only know on paper for MONTHS.

It's nothing at all like you expected it would be. And so much more than you could ever imagine.

"...God's plan became crystal clear when from first sight, I knew I would die for her. She wasn't a stranger; she was simply mine."

Yep.

And Jennifer Phillips lays it out perfectly in her book Bringing Lucy Home.

I was given the opportunity to read and review this book after following the Phillips' family story in real life last year.

Ya'll. It's every adoptive parents nightmare.

You know going into adoption that anything can happen. Anything. Agencies spend countless hours preparing you for the unknown...preparing you to parent a child whose history could be vague at best. You can wait months upon months. You kill hundreds of trees with endless forms and documents. Minor paperwork issues can become major hiccups in an otherwise seamless process. Officials in other countries can make you borderline crazy. This child you love doesn't love you back. You are met with special needs you had no idea existed. Anything can take you off this perfect little adoption path you envisioned yourself skipping down...

But you never...ever...expect your own country to become your worst enemy!

I love that Jennifer includes quips from her own blog (check it out HERE!) throughout the book. I remembered reading them as they were happening, but loved getting more of the back story. Her thoughts, her feelings, seeing how Lucy progressed through it all, reading about all the people that were involved in bringing this tiny baby into her forever home. I kinda felt like I was there! One of my very favorite things is hearing about how the Lord creates families through adoption, sometimes crossing bridges we thought impassable in the process. I'm a tiny bit obsessed. I think all adoptive families should have to write a book when they get home....

I'm not gonna spoil the whole story for you, just know you should take time to read this book, cry with this family, and rejoice at how the Lord provides for them!

Go download or order it HERE now!! It's only $8.49 for the Kindle version!! Bonus: cute baby Lucy pics in the book!!






And a shameless adoption plug...if you have questions, need a great agency recommendation or just need a prayer buddy as you wade through tons of info and confusing processes that define adoption, please let me know. I'm an open book. And obviously we kinda do the adoption thing around here, so if you are thinking about it, I'm gonna be your biggest cheerleader!!

I digress.

Go get the book!!

Next.

Editor's Note: There are a few non-yucky hospital and scar pictures in this post. If you don't wanna see it, don't read it.

So, the most asked question for Ellie Kate...What happens next??

Surgery is done. We are in the business of healing now. (No, she can't actually hear with her left ear yet. Soon. She has the inside parts. Outside parts come next week.)

The actual surgery went great. Her surgeon didn't even have to remove her tube and repair her ear drum because it had already fallen out and repaired itself. Yay eardrum! As with the other ear, all the inside stuff was just "angry" (his words). Why angry? From so many untreated ear infections during her first months of life. Makes me want to squeeze her extra, because you know she was in pain and had no one loving her through that.






Post-recovery. Pre-going home. Mommy had to hold my head up because I was having trouble doing that on my own.









All 22 electrodes were successfully placed in her cochlear and he said he did his best to line up the new magnet with her existing magnet on the other side of her head....but apparently her head isn't round or symmetrical. Go figure. So he did his best.

Really as long as we can still sport our signature pigtails in a super cute fashion, we'll be good. (Sorry. Went all superficial on ya...)

If you don't recall our earlier cochlear implant conversations (and HERE), here's a little diagram about what's going on in her head now... (on both sides!)








Or check this out... What is a cochlear implant?

We had our post-op appointment on Wednesday (Did you hear the screaming? She's become a very anti-doctor's office kid. No idea why....) and have been cleared for activation NEXT WEEK!! Wednesday, February 4th. Ear No. 2 Day.





















Incision looking pretty good 11 days post-op. Only a little swelling left. And her nice crew cut.

Here's my request for y'all. She has grown to love her right ear/CI. No. 1. She asks for it, she knows she needs it, she comes to me to put it back on if it falls off...they are BFFs. Since No. 2 is coming on the scene 13 months later, I'm worried she won't love him as much.

It's not uncommon for kids to prefer their first implanted ear. And who's to blame them. She's gone well over 3 years and has never used that ear. Now we've got to train her brain to be nice and use lefty too. We will spend time with No. 1 off, forcing her to use No. 2. And perhaps, ticking her off in the process. But in that respect, I feel like we are back at square one. I just need them to be friends. She doesn't have to love him. But I need her to tolerate him. Cause he's here to stay.

He was too expensive for her to not at least pretend to like him!

More next week. Hopefully a video of her skipping through a field of wildflowers totally in love with ear No. 2.

Or at least a video with no tears.

Number two.

(This was written....well...a while ago. So I'm posting the original post and adding to it at the bottom.)

I need to update y'all on the princess that lives here.

For starters, she's 3 now. (Yeah. That happened in October.) Blows my mind.

She's still not much bigger than a small one-year-old, sporting her size 2 diapers, but she rocking 3 like nobody's business.

She aged out of First Steps, our state's early intervention program, in October and lost her amazing home-based therapists. So she started preschool at the local school for kids with hearing loss. But since Mommy's too attached to totally let her go, she's just going one day a week right now. Fortunately we were able to keep our great speech therapist since she works at the school, so EK gets to see Mrs. Cheryl while she's there plus all the other great staff and teachers there!

She is still making great progress. At her 3rd birthday, she was testing with language skills in the 18-20 month range and had only been hearing for about 10 months! The standard once implanted is for them to make up skills on a month to month basis, which would put her closer to a 10-12 month skill range, but she's making up time at about 2 months for every 1 month.

Baby genius.

We've got lots of word approximations and a few real words and tons of signs. And she will chatter and babble and talk to us all day long. We just don't speak her language yet. (Boys are convinced she's speaking Chinese...) We've got a good "daddy", the ever present "Bicky" (her BFF Mickey Mouse), the always needed "poop"...she even gives us a good attempt at the "Let it go..." chorus from Frozen. But no "mommy". Which makes sense. I'm only the one who provides for and caters to her every whim. 24 hours a day. Why would she attempt to reward me by calling my name?? Turkey.

One day soon. Hopefully.

And speaking of soon, she is scheduled to have her left ear implanted on January 19th! Just a few short weeks away. We are excited to start that process again and are hoping it goes as smoothly this time as the first time around. We have an amazing team of doctors, surgeons and audiologists that have helped us each step along the way.


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So, now January 19th is upon us. Tomorrow.

I thought this would be easier the second time around.

After all, we are pros. We know what to expect. We absolutely love her surgeon and our children's hospital is pretty fantastic too. We know we are gonna have a mad kiddo in the morning that can't eat. We know were gonna have an even madder kiddo once we get to the hospital. (She's smart. Ain't no foolin' her. Mom. You SAID we were going to Krispy Kreme!!) We know she'll be a pitiful mess after surgery. We know we'll spend the next week wrapped up like a walking q-tip in footie PJ's to avoid pulling things over her head. We know her sweet little face and ear will be swollen and bruised and it will make me want to cry when I look at her. We know she'll likely cry and get upset when we first give that new ear access to sound for the first time ever. We know we still have weeks and months and years of therapies and hard work.

But the week long feeling I've had that I'm gonna puke is making me think that it's not going to be easier.

Maybe harder.

Because I know what to except.

This is also one of the most fantastic journeys I've been on. To see your own child grow and be stretched and literally recover from months of neglect and zero early intervention.....I couldn't ask for a front row seat to a better show!

Seeing her learn and engage and try to talk and sign to us....I absolutely love it! We celebrate the tiniest of victories. And we worry when we think she's not doing well enough.

But there's lots more to come!!

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us, prayed for us, loved on us as our family goes through this journey. I can't wait to share new videos and pictures with you guys! And I can't wait to see how The Lord uses this little bundle of energy to further His kingdom!

I mean....what kid has their own hashtag at 3-years-old?!?

This one. #newearsforek

Chuck. The boy, not the beef.

My 11-year-old is wearing deodorant.

Can we all just pause and have a moment of silence? Let the magnitude of that action sink in....

DEODORANT! Like he's some full grown man or something! He has leg hair, too. Ugh.

Not that I'm opposed to him smelling better than he usually does here lately. I'm opposed to what wearing deodorant means.

He's growing up.

I don't like it.

He's way taller than me (pushing 5'6"), his feet have out grown Kenny's and I can't find pants to fit the kid because his tallness and skinniness don't match up. Do you know how hard it is to discipline a kid who is looking down at you? Not that that happens often, but I've lost that natural "I'm-bigger-than-you-hear-me-roar" advantage. So I have to wear my "Mommy face" since my "Mommy height" is invalid. And use a stool.

Helping deliver boxes of food while at Loaves & Fishes, a food pantry in Eastern Kentucky. So proud of this guy.  He also took time to pray with several of the people he met.  Yes, we prompted the kids to ask if they could pray for them, but that's a big deal for an 11-year-old boy!

He is rocking 5th grade this year. Taking advanced math and getting straight A's. He is a great student and I feel blessed that he's done so well with school. I mean, don't tell him, but coming here as a 6-year-old on his 3rd language and with no formal school, I was more than ready to give him some wiggle room when we started school way back when....but he clearly didn't need it!

I think he's smarter than me. Really.

First day of 5th grade.

The kid loves some soccer. He can be found most afternoons in the backyard with a ball. Or if the TV's on, he needs to know if there is a soccer game being played somewhere in the world. Charlie played (and started most games) on the middle school soccer team as a 5th grader this year. He also played on the Under 13 Spencer County select team. He's a good little soccer player and I can't wait to see how he'll continue to grow as a player...if we can only get him to stop being so stinkin' polite on the soccer field. Aggressive? Nope, doesn't describe him. But he's learning.

Exerting his soccerness.

He had his first real injury in the form of a very minor stress fracture in his foot this fall. He was actually only out for about 3 weeks, but acted as if he had been asked to sit out for the whole season. And Mommy learned to request a cast next time instead of thinking a boot would be easier. I'm sure it was easier, but you can't take a cast off to play a game of Twister with your friends or to play soccer in your sock feet in the church basement or to run up and down the basement steps..... Clearly his brain was partially fractured too.

And male.

He still loves Legos, origami, video games and all things food. I'm waiting for him to build me a summer home. He has enough Legos to do that. And while he puts together his masterpieces, he listens to music. I've been introduced to the Christian rap scene over the last few weeks. I've decided I can live without it. Disney Radio is much more my speed. And who doesn't love a good Elton John theme song?? Said every Disney movie ever made in the 90's.

A little post-soccer Ethiopian food.  I think he is daring Matthew to eat a handful of awaze sauce.  (It's hot.)

Look closely.  This child created a leash from grass, then caught a cat and proceeded to walk it around.  I don't even know what to say about that... 

One of Mommy's "keep everyone occupied" ideas this summer.  It worked.  For about 7 and half minutes.

My first born is turning into a young man. He is kind, polite, quiet, funny, loud, smelly, creative and I love all 100 pounds of him. We are fully in the throws of pre-teendom. Attitude, hormones and all. And I'm learning how do be Mommy to a kid who is teetering on the edge of being a teenager. I can already tell it's going to be a challenge. Maybe more for me than him, but we'll make it.

After all, millions of children live past the age of 11 each day.

Pre-teen ignoring of the parents.

We went to the beach. Three months ago.

So here's what you've missed....

We spent a lot of time in Alabama this summer taking care of broken people. (Gammy and a knee replacement.) And having fun.

Do I have to carry in my own luggage???

Kids Camp.  It happens every year.  With what seems to be a million and a half kids.  We had tons of exhausting fun.  And Sam got to go for the first year! Which means I had two bags of random little boy underwear and belongings to go through instead of just one.  "You don't even own plaid boxer shorts or a purple toothbrush....why are these in your bag??"

A whole bunch of people I love.

We went to the beach. All of us. And some fam. A whole week. It was glorious. And exhausting. But didn't I just define life with kids on a daily basis??

The boys started school. 5th and 2nd grade. They are big boys. Homework and tests and projects and cursive and pre-algebra. They are both kicking butt with straight A's on their first report cards.

We played lots of soccer. Lots. Middle school team, select team, rec team, Daddy-coached team. Just a lot of soccer.

Ellie Kate turned 3. Whaaaa...??? And started school too.  Whhhhhhhaaaaaatttttt???!!!???

Happy Birthday, sister!!

A couple of folks around here celebrated 10 years of marriage. The fact that we've been married that long is crazy. And we actually still like each other. If you'd asked me in 2004 what life would look like in 2014, I would have totally missed the mark. But wouldn't change one single second of this.

We just got back from our 5th trip to Eastern Kentucky. And once again I'm overwhelmed with the fact that there are people in my state living in worse situations than people in 3rd world countries. We helped Mr. Ruben...who was living in a "house" (really a shack...none of us would entertain living in what he called his home) with no electricity or water. And no indoor bathroom. Crazy. He now has a bathroom, shower, electricity, a stove and fridge, running water....all thanks to many mission groups who have worked together over the last few months.

My people in Linefork, KY.  Kenny was busy digging a hole.

While I sit on my fluffy couch typing on my iPad, aggravated that my WiFi is acting up.

Perspective.

And we did Halloween. Well, most of us did.  Some of us were almost too old so we kinda did Halloween.

Eyes closed, not looking at the camera. Every. Single. Picture.

So, now you're caught up.  There's been lots of normal life in between all that, too.  School, therapy, work, making dinner, cleaning all the dirty people and clothes, etc. It's November now, so we aren't gonna talk about the beach anymore.

Let's move on.  Updates on each kiddo coming....

Five.

Five years ago on August 24, 2009, we walked through the gates of Hope Orphanage in Addis Ababa and were greeted by many brown smiling faces. All of who were looking intently and wondering if we were their parents. While my eyes were scanning each face, looking for the two boys who had been my sons on paper only for the last 9 months. I had fallen in love with pictures of two children in the middle of Ethiopia that I had never even met and my heart was beating out of my chest now that it was time to meet them...




As the story goes, 6-year-old Charlie found us first. Locked eyes and made a beeline from the steps to his Daddy. He knew we were the ones. He had seen pictures of us.

Check. Found one. Still need another....

With Charlie accounted for, I quickly found 2-year-old Sam playing with a ball and scooped him up so fast he didn't have much time to react. (In hindsight, that probably wasn't the best idea, but my emotions got the best of me.) Charlie ran over and started talking to Sam with much more gusto than is normal for Charlie! While I have no idea what he was chattering about, I tell myself he was filling Sam in on the situation. "It's our Mommy and Daddy! Like the pictures we saw. We get to go home now!"




He drug his new family of four up the stairs by our hands to an office/empty room where other adoptive families were gathered and plopped us down in chairs as if he had been watching and waiting for his turn to do that. He knew the routine. He knew what to do.

It was finally his turn.




That trip to Ethiopia seems like forever ago. But in reality it was only a few short years ago. Sam has been in America longer than he was in Ethiopia. And Charlie is getting close to that milestone.

I'll say it again.

If I really think hard on it...really dwell on it...the way The Lord has grown our family completely and totally blows my mind. I have 3 kids sleeping soundly in my house from various corners of the world.

Unreal.

Adoption is hard. It's amazing. It's tragic. It's a blessing. It's an adventure. It's exhausting. It's borderline crazy. It's time consuming...it's ALL consuming! It's exciting. It's scary. It's a tangible. It's real. It's fun.

It's likely one of the best decisions I've ever made. At least in the top 3.

Happy five years, boys. So glad I get to call you sons.

And so glad you call me "Mommy"...

The first year of forever.

The longer I have to process Ellie Kate's adoption and I make new discoveries about where she came from and how special kids are identified in China, the more I realize it is only by the grace of God and pure miracle that this child has been home with us for an entire year.

Flat out miracle.

Few people know the actual reality of it and even I am going based on what I've been told and have read, but the place where Ellie Kate spent her first 20 months wasn't great. Not just because it was an orphanage. But so much more. Lack of funding, lack of training, lack of resources, lack of man power in general, put over 80 kids, all with varying degrees of special needs, in the care of less than 10 nannies. She was in one of the lowest tiered (for lack of a better way to explain it) orphanages in her province. It's just the truth of the situation. No ones fault. Just how things were.








I'm definitely not knocking the nannies who took care of her during that time. Actually eternally grateful for those women because they didn't have to. But think of the stress you'd be under with over 80 kids with major needs and no way to adequately take care of them. Every. Single. Day.

Not an ideal situation.

Not only are the orphanages responsible for supporting financially and caring for these kids, they also have to prepare the files of the children for adoption. And that costs money. Money her orphanage didn't have. I've been told there were only a handful of children (maybe 3 or 4) even adopted from there last year. What made someone chose the file of Ji Xisha to prepare for adoption over the next kid is only the beginning of God's plan for her tiny little life.








Then to add another level of amazing-ness, kids who have hearing loss aren't typically identified until much later when in settings like she was in. Even in a top-funded orphanage, she could have gone years without someone realizing she was deaf. Heck, in situations even in America, many kids go undiagnosed! Until they don't pass milestones they should be and it makes you think twice....you don't look at kids and just know they are deaf. It's just not one of those things that you pick up on right away unless they fail a newborn screening. And I would bet money on the fact that she certainly didn't have one of those. To look at her file and see her first hearing test confirming she was bilaterally and profoundly deaf at just under 15 months old is craziness.

I have a million questions. What made them test her? Who noticed she wasn't responding to that precious name? How long did they know? What did they try to do to see if she was hearing them? Who took the first steps to figure it out? What did they find out? Did they try to learn to communicate with her? Did someone comfort that precious child, knowing at night when it was dark, she now had lost two senses?

On June 24, 2013, the tiny human given to us to care for during her time here, was already beating the odds of most kids in her situation. The Lord had chosen her to be a Cook. He predestined her to be ours. And hopefully one day His.

Forever.

She was almost grey. Her hair felt like straw. Her skin was just slightly softer than sandpaper. She could barely sit up, but had this stand on her head trick she did to show off her pending skills. She wouldn't eat and let nothing but a bottle pass those lips for months. Her arms were like toothpicks attached to her frail 13-pound body. She could hear nothing and barely made a sound other than just cooing for months. She didn't know how to play, she didn't know how to be loved, she didn't return affection....it was like we had a 20-month-old newborn.









But she threw her whole being into trusting two perfect strangers and I can't even attempt to put into words how seeing her grow and be stretched into who she is only a year later makes me feel.

Miracle.

The redeeming part of this short story is that in the middle of Kentucky lives a tiny 19-pound Asian toddler with an attitude who has been hearing for 6 months. She curls herself into the crook of my arm each night as if she was actually made to fit there. Her little arms fling tightly around my neck in excitement even if I'm out of her sight for only 5 minutes. She dances a little jig and runs as fast as those stubby little legs will take her when Daddy gets home from work each day. She squeals in excitement when brothers come home from school each afternoon. She waves to almost everyone we pass and gives kisses to family and friends...as long as she still has a tight grip on Mommy.

So many things had to happen at just the right time and place to ensure that she was ours. How can you deny there's a God when He can orchestrate the lives of multiple people to collide at just the right time??

You can't.

Our last 4th of July began in a hotel in Hong Kong and ended 36 hours later at Louisville International Airport as a family of five. And surrounded by our closest family and friends. It's an experience I've been blessed to be a part of twice now and it's hard to put into words....but one I'm willing and eager to repeat...

You're one of my favorite American citizens. Happy ONE year home, EK.








PS...In January of this year, a well known organization named Half The Sky was able to finally gain access to EK's former home in Huazhou. The stories and transformations of the kids that remain are nothing short of their own tiny miracles. It's amazing to read about. Check out the story that was so compelling, it was picked up in a series of stories HERE by Huffington Post. It's hard to read and know that's where your child came from. But I can only pray that conditions continue to improve at Huazhou.

56 days.

Look.  I know.

It's been 56 days since I updated the blog.

But I don't know how in the world to write vaguely entertaining blog posts all while getting 3 kids to and from school, to the correct soccer field with all the required gear (which is only increasing as we get older), making sure everyone is fully clothed in semi-clean clothes and matching shoes, they've had their fruits and veggies, everyone is making the appropriate amount of poops, therapy appointments and playgroups attended, all the necessary forms we need to live daily life are filled out and signed, be a half-way decent wife and an pleasurable friend and make sure the house is free of visible dust bunnies and grape jelly coated floors.  Oh, and a part-time job on the side.

I mean...virtually impossible.

Although I've seriously entertained selling tickets to watch me go to the bathroom.  Honest.  It seems like the popular thing to do around here.  Apparently doing that alone is no longer an option.  Could be a lucrative business opportunity.  And I could kick that part-time gig and free up some time to blog. (Joking about kicking the part-time gig.  I love it.)

It's really not all that bad.  I love it actually.  (Bring 'em on...I'll take a few more!)  Sometimes I'd just rather spend time with my people than write about them.  And sleep.

But today....today is 5 months of hearing for Ellie Kate!

Still no magical words, although some of us think she has said "Papa".  And maybe baby and bye-bye.  I think it was just a fluke.  Because we haven't gotten them again.  I think her first word is going to be "help".  She's got the sign for that down pat and puts her whole being into asking for help, including a little "hhhhhhhh-ppp" sound.

That or "Mommy".  Which we are awfully close to as well.  Plus I'm the coolest.  Why wouldn't she say my name first??

Hoping brother will share.  She caught him on a good day, because he did.  Sam doesn't share food...

She's a constant chatterbox and quite the noisy little monkey.  We can meow like a cat, woof like a dog and make monkey sounds.  And will imitate anyone in the general area who is coughing, sneezing or laughing.  And occasionally farting.  (Which isn't at all embarrassing....)

She is picking up signs like a mad woman, often using new ones on a daily basis.  Every animal is a cat and every person is Mommy.  At least she can tell the difference between human and beast.  While we are definitely pushing language, all our signs greatly decrease our already heightened level of frustration with our lack of communication skills.

I'm gonna go ahead and document that as my greatest parenting challenge with her right now.  Not only is she a strong-willed, opinionated toddler, she is doing so with limited communication.  Which equals one mad baby on occasion.  Okay, a lot of occasions.  But I have to really evaluate situations and determine if the issue is communication or behavioral.  And a lot of times it starts as a communication issue and turns into a "I've lost all control of my body" issue because I don't know how else to tell you I don't want my stuffed elephant to be in the crib laying at that particular angle right now.  We've perfected the "sorry" sign and giving Mommy hugs when we return to normal happy baby status.  All that matters is consistency.  She knows what to expect and I try to respond the same no matter where we are.  And with patience.  Which is terribly hard sometimes when I have no clue what's wrong.  Now would be a good time to apologize to the patrons of Kroger earlier today.  Yes, I know she was screaming at the top of her lungs.  And no, I don't know why.  But we found us an empty space on a wall and sat down right on the grocery store floor until we regained composure.  Then we got a cookie.

And all was right in the world again.

Cousin stole our chair.  So she sat on him.

She is wearing her ear well.  And most of the time will come sit in my lap to let me put it on with no issues.  The only exception being after nap time.  But she just wakes up mad most of the time and we just have to give her a little bit of time before throwing sound at her again.  If it comes off, she'll come and stand next to me with her back towards me....as if to say, "Hey lady, will you put that thing back on my head?"  Still swear by The Bebop Shop retention cords.  No telling how many times we would have lost the thing if not attached to her shirt.  And how many heart attacks I would have had.

Now that summer is here, I'm still getting used to this whole it-can-get-a-little-wet idea.  I'm just a little protective over something that costs more than my car....I hope you can understand why.  Splash pads, sprinklers, etc are okay.  Diving to the bottom of a swimming pool...not okay.  Not that she does a whole lot of deep sea diving.  There are pool options, but we haven't had success with them because she doesn't tell us yet if she can't hear because her coil is off.  And I haven't shelled out the cash for the latest gadget that makes it capable to be in the pool as is.  Maybe later.

And I worried about how the boys would do with a baby sister...they love her!

We are still seeing her speech therapist, developmental interventionist and Teacher of Deaf at playgroup.  Our next steps are figuring out what to do when she turns 3 and ages out of early intervention.  But that's a whole other post.  I'm just in denial that she'll be 3 in 5 months, so I don't want to talk about it.

She saw her surgeon in April for 3 month check and he was quite impressed with the way things looked.  And her responding to her name.  I have to remind myself that the surgeons don't get to see all the little steps along the way that we do, so he was thrilled she was responding to anything!

We have been cleared by her audiologist until September.  No more mappings until then.  And at her last sound booth test, she was hearing in the 15-20 dB range.  Which is practically normal.

Basically she's a rock star.  Just a mini version.

Speaking of mini-rock stars, the one that lives here is ready for dinner.  And so are her back up singers.

If you're lucky, you'll get another post before 56 days passes.

And honestly, I hope you do.

Just picnicking to kick off summer.  Sam got onto me for not bringing her high chair so she could see over the table.  My bad, Sam.

The Toddler Rebuttal

Dear Mommy,

I'm so sorry for my recent transition into the Terrible Twos. Honestly, it caught me quite off guard as well. One minute I was fine with rolling with the punches and the next, this weird voice in my head was whispering to fling myself to the ground to get what I wanted. She said something about "everybody's doing it..." and she was right! I see other people my size doing it all the time!

I thought surely it wouldn't work with my Mommy, but I tried it anyway since the little girl at Target got a new toy the other day by doing that. Turns out, you usually ignore me when I do it, which I can barely stand because I'm so very adorable. Someone with such adorableness should never be ignored! I didn't get a new toy either... stupid voice.

So, I'm trying to do better. Occasionally I forget, like at the soccer field last night when you wouldn't let me play in the parking lot.... Sorry about that, by the way. That was some pretty loud screaming, huh?

I also tried taking off my socks and shoes, my bow and my ear when I get mad, but that didn't work out for me either. You just make me sit really still while you redressed me. And that usually makes me cry. But thanks for putting my ear back on even while I pretend to be a life-sized bobble head doll while you do it. (Isn't that fun, by the way?!?) I really should figure out how to do that myself sometime soon.

And that whole bit where I stomp my foot at you when you tell me no...yeah, I know you don't care for that, but I haven't figure out how to make my mouth tell you what I want yet. I'm working really hard. And you are always pointing at your ear and making lots of sounds and moving your mouth to try to help me and I really appreciate that.

But honestly Mom, I don't have a clue what you are talking about. I like it better when you talk to me with your hands. I understand that. I did try to say "help" today before I melted in a puddle because my doll stroller was stuck....did you hear me between the shrieks?? It probably sounded similar to my screams, but what I was trying to say was "Please help me, woman!!"

When I do get upset and cry, I appreciate you holding me even though I am being quite disagreeable. I realize I act like a giant turd on occasion, but sometimes I just need a Mommy hug. Always remember that, Mommy. Hugs fix almost all of my two-year-old problems.

In conclusion, please remember I'm learning more everyday and I'll do my best to keep the tantrums and fits at a minimum, but I can't make any promises. I just can't. Because I'm already planning the scene that will occur when you take me to Kroger with you tonight. And I'm 2. And have zero control over my emotions.

Don't forget all the times where I'm super cute and precious and adorable and I do obey, because I do a lot of that, too.

I love you more, Mommy.

Love,
Ellie Kate

P.S. You know that part about having no control over my emotions...just remember I'm a girl, so that's likely not to change for a good many years. I know you are used to raising boys, but those brothers of mine are rough and tough and I'm a princess. No apologies.

A Toddler Dictionary.

Being a toddler is hard work.

There are choices and too many things that Mommy says I can't touch and nap times. Occasionally being a toddler can be dangerous to the emotional well-being of those around me.

So here's a glimpse of our week, via simple definitions.

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The Temper Tantrum: an exertion of will by a tiny human being due to loss of authority and the inability to control your own circumstances and emotions. Characterized by kicking and screaming. Can lead to parents making rash and uneducated decisions about how to make tiny individuals stop acting as if their appendages have just been chopped off with a red hot sword.

The Terrible Twos: an extended version of the temper tantrum that can last from 2 days to 2 years. Approximately. Can often reappear during early to mid teenage years. Characterized by periods of happiness and laughter (from child and/or parent) in between periods of wondering why you allowed your child out of bed this morning.

What do you mean I can't play with those pretty blue scissors you are using??

Are you 100% sure???

My day is ruined.  I CANNOT believe you won't let me use that thing with two sharp blades sticking out of it!  What could possibly go wrong??!!??  [huge, shuddering cry]

A Fit: a mini temper tantrum. Characterized by its short time frame and the ability to be redirected easily. If not contained and corrected, can easily turn into a temper tantrum.

The Flop: the beginning of a temper tantrum that results in body being thrown to the floor by self. Usually halted by the realization that things actually are going the way said tiny individual would like for them to go. Please ignore the flop, as acknowledgement results in escalation to a fit or temper tantrum. Also could be a warning sign of pending terrible twos.

The Pause:  that moment during the temper tantrum, a fit or the flop where said toddler will attempt to make eye contact to ensure you are watching.  Look away as quickly as possible because watching encourages tiny person to escalate.  Without your attention, a fit or the flop will sometimes diminish on it's own.  A pause during the temper tantrum is often what they call "the calm before the storm".  Run away.  Fast.

A flop with the pause.  To make sure I was paying attention to her display of displeasure with her current situation.  Which was me blowing my nose instead of continuing to walk down the hall.

The Hurt Feelings: what happens when a toddler feels he has been slighted and is too tired to launch a full temper tantrum. Characterized by real tears and the inability to be consoled. For hours. As with a fit, can easily escalate to a temper tantrum if not contained or a second wind is gained.

The Triggers: giving a toddler the wrong color cup, putting their socks on too early, walking the wrong way, looking at their toy with the wrong eye, washing their hair, cutting their food in the wrong size, offering the wrong temperature beverage, getting in the car, putting on a shirt, opening the door too fast, etc.  You get the point.  Basically everything.  Also being told no or being asked to follow a reasonable direction that larger human beings don't usually find offensive.

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Sam likely had already experienced the terrible twos before arriving to our home. At least that's how I'll interpret the laughter and warnings received from his caregivers at the time when I eagerly told them who we were there to pick up. "Ohhhh noooooo, Edaso!! He is bad, bad boy!" (Read with thick Ethiopian accent. And he wasn't "bad boy" just strong willed.) He had his moments once home, but he soon learned his way didn't always work out and we quickly moved past his two-year-old period of rebellion. (Although, now we are in his 7-year-old period of rebellion. And the only upside is he understands the words coming out of this hole in front of my head. Doesn't seem to help, but I least I can justify his punishment by the fact that I know he knows English now. Love that kid.)

Charlie is my sneaky, but obedient one. I have a feeling Charlie's two-year-old self rarely had time for something as foolish as a temper tantrum or a fit because he was too busy carefully calculating how to manipulate his neighbor out of their portion of injera without a soul funding out. Or building an entire village out of origami.

Then there was Ellie Kate....

At my house, we have currently entered a stage of terrible twos, characterized by frequent fits, the occasional flop and many hurt feelings. And unfortunately temper tantrums.

The onset was very quick, escalating to full blown terrible twos in a matter of just a few days.  As her parental units, we were quickly taken off guard as our sweet compliant baby made the transition to a bold and opinionated toddler, but have recovered nicely over the weekend. (Recovery included extended naps. For her and Mommy.)

If you've never seen 19 pounds of mad, I invite you over. Sometimes it's hard not to laugh.  Other times I just step over her and walk away. And then there was that time I carried her kicking and screaming out of a Kohl's because I wouldn't let her play with those oh-so-safe moving stairs.  (Note to self:  If you accidentally left the stroller at home, just abandon all plans and go home.  Don't even attempt to go in said store.)

We spent a few days this week engaged in Operation How-to-respond-when-I-don't-get-my-way. Let's just say it's still a work in progress, but we are catching on to the fact that flinging ourselves on the ground rarely works.

Happy lunchtime.  Although the moments prior to this included a fit because the microwave wasn't making her quesadilla fast enough. Stupid microwave. But stabbing her carrots into said quesadilla seemed to help the situation. I'm certain she couldn't possibly be cuter if she tried.  100%.

I told her I would win this battle.

It's kinda my job.  I'm the mom.

And the only benefit was her letting me snuggle her when she has the hurt feelings.

Sweet baby girl.