life of late

wow. so much to write, so little time. the biggest news is probably that I got a job a little over a month ago. I was basically threatened with my life and all that I hold dear that I could not in any way associate myself with my company on the internet, so that's why I haven't made a big deal of it or anything on facebook. it's a good job, interesting to say the least. and I deal a lot with guns, so mitch is jealous :D

other than that...a couple weeks ago we decided that it made sense for mitch to quit his job to do flight school faster now that we are no longer relying on just his income, and we could get a loan to help us finish it up. that sounded good in theory, except that we couldn't get approved for any loans. sad that a 740 credit score counts for nothing these days unless you have months, if not years of monthly payment history (debt) to prove that you are "responsible" and can handle making monthly payments. so even though we have 4+ years' history of rent payments, the fact that we don't have 3 credit cards, 2 car loans and a mortgage counts against us. hmm...ironic.

in the end we are ok with it, because we know that it probably wasn't the right path if we had so many roadblocks going that direction. Mitch can keep his job and finish up school...it will take 4-5 months longer, but we will get through it 100% debt-free, so that is only a plus.

the semi-scaryish thing is that if we couldn't get approved for a small loan, how in the heck are we ever going to get approved for a car loan, let alone a mortgage?? we will need to replace mitch's car soon since it is on its last leg and it kind of scares us that the fact that we have no debt might turn out to be a hindrance in making some of our first big purchases. for this reason, we have decided to start building our credit slowly and smartly through semi-big purchases that we will need soon anyway...our first being a mattress of our own. we will start shopping for that next week. we are both a little excited to say the least...Mitch has been dying for a king sized bed since we got married when he realized he didn't like snuggling at bedtime quuiiiiite as much as I do :D

since I last wrote, I have discovered the intoxicating world of pinterest. I say intoxicating, because once you start, you just can't stop. I have got SO many good ideas from that wonderfully ingenius little website, here are the best that I have implemented that have definitely changed my life for the better:

5. The Best Meatloaf Ever- The only way I can convey to you how monumental of an event this meatloaf was, is to say that Mitch's brother, who is about the pickiest eater on the planet, said that this was his favorite  homemade meal ever....um...WHAT?!?!?  o_O  Also, Mitch, who groaned when I said I was making meatloaf, had SECONDS, and said in so many words, that this is the only meatloaf he has ever liked, and will ever eat again.

4. 2012 Journal Jar- We love adding fun memories throughout the year to our jar, and we anticipate it being a tradition we will continue with our family to help us document the goings-on in our lives and reflect on all our blessings at the end of the year :)

3.  Emergency Binder- Complete with important docs, an evacuation plan/packing list, map of the area, and first aid/survival info. Everything I would want and need in an emergency, and living in a hurricane/flood-prone area, I feel so much more secure knowing it is all organized in a safe place ready to grab if need be.

As a side, preparedness-related note, I have also used many awesome ideas on pinterest to upgrade my 72 hours kits in the last month. This was the manual that I referenced the most...it has everything you could think of...and more!

2. The Two-Minute Mug Brownie- My in-laws still look at me like I'm an alien every time I make this, but it I think it's because secretly they're jealous :D This is the best innovation, hands-down, anyone has ever made with a brownie. The same chocolatey goodness in only two minutes and no dishes! Win-win-win! Perfect for my I-NEED-CHOCOLATE-NOW fix that comes...oh...every other night or so :D

1. My Scripture Journal- You would think that as a book-addict I would have grown up being pretty good about reading my scriptures. WRONG. I have never had a consistent personal scripture reading program until now. I got the original idea from this inspiring lady (who I found on pinterest, of course)...and it just sort of evolved from there. You can tell by the fact that I have dedicated a whole pinboard to it how much research and thought went into creating it. it's nothing fancy compared to many I have seen...but the important thing is that I actually look forward to studying each day now. it gives me the time I need to be still, read, reflect, and create. I have been going for 4 months strong now using it, and I can tell how much greater love and patience (fruits of the spirit) I have developed since using it.

whew. long post today. now I won't feel obligated to write for at least...6 more months or so. haha. jk.

I'm back...

I know I have been MIA for a while...let's just say my life will hopefully pick up in the next 1-2 months as I figure out my health issue(s), finish treatments, and get a job! I'm looking forward to being able to be useful and work full time!

The past few months have been an interesting journey for me. I have learned a lot about my limits, about patience, about the Lord's timing, and about giving people the benefit of the doubt. Not being able to frankly talk to people about many of my trials has really made me realize how you NEVER know what people are really going through. "Judge not that ye be not judged" (Matt 7) has a whole new meaning for me now. I think this is one of the most important things I have learned through this whole experience.

Now...on to Xyrem. Through my whole narcolepsy research I relied heavily on word of mouth, anecdotal evidence from people on blogs and discussion boards who have been on the medication to make judgments about if it was right for me. I feel that it is time to give back and tell my story and let others take it for what it's worth.

First of all, I am a relatively small person, never taken any serious medication in my lifetime. This was my first experience with a serious drug, or anything mind-altering, for that matter. Having never drunk alcohol or experimented with any kind of drugs...this was definitely an eye opening experience for me. My dr started me out on a very small dose given my size and adverse reaction to my very first "normal starting dose". (I had an emotional episode in which I was laughing and crying uncontrollably for 20 minutes. That should have been my first red flag.) The way that Xyrem affected me in my first two months of two dosages (1.1 g, then 2.25 g) is how I imagine it feels to be drunk/high. Within about 5-10 min after taking it, I start to feel very numb, I feel like I'm floating, my head starts spinning, mental fogginess, slurred speech, and if I try to get up I lose my balance and fall. I usually am able to get a good 3-4 hours of sound sleep before waking up to take my second dose.

Interestingly enough, the Xyrem occasionally seemed to exacerbate some of my N symptoms- the first time my dr raised my dose, I had my first ever cataplexy attack, and the second time, I had a series of very vivid dreams and hallucinations, as is characteristic for people with N. She has been unable to explain to me why this happens.

After a while on the 2.25 g, I felt like I was sleeping well, but I awoke physically drained, like I'd just ran a marathon. Even though I told my dr that I had felt more alert after the very first 1.1 g dose, she nonetheless raised my dose to 3 g twice nightly. For three nights on this dose, I slept fine through the first one, and upon taking the second dose, I just laid in bed for hours, numb, but in no way drifting off to sleep. Having read of this happening to other people who were trying to readjust their dose, I became suspiscious that my dose was too high. After Day 5 of the 3 g dose, I had a full-fledged panic attack in the middle of the day- chest pains, difficulty breathing, rapid prolonged pulse throughout the whole day. Not connecting the dots, attributing the attack to my family history of anxiety, I remained on the dose. Two days later, I had a second panic attack, accompanied with extreme depression. After some research, I found that others had similar experiences with Xyrem inducing extreme anxiety and depression. I called my dr, who advised me to return to the 2.25 g dose.

After some more research, I found that the main ingredient in Xyrem is a controlled substance that is sometimes sold on the street as a date rape drug, and a rave drug (surprise, surprise) and that "the precise mechanism" by which it works "is unknown". Oh good. Also this drug has been out on the market for less than 10 years and I am an active part of the research they are doing on it now, as I am to report any and all side effects to the company for legal purposes. Basically, I am a human guinea pig.

Instead of returning to the 2.25 dose, I became so freaked out by the extent to which this drug altered my mind, I opted to discontinue my use of Xyrem for now. Upon starting the program, they told me that there are very few problems with dependency on the drug, so if I were to ever skip a dose it would not harm me in any way. so that night I opted not to take any. well since I had been on too high of a dose (I speculate), my whole body went into withdrawal mode. it was really scary. I was shaking and sweating uncontrollably, and had laid awake the whole night in a lot of pain until about 6 am, when I woke mitch up and asked him to go get his dad. so they gave me a blessing, and IMMEDIATELY after the blessing I crawled back in bed and passed out. no pain, completely at peace, etc. it was such a relief. last night was my second night without the meds and I fell asleep just fine, no problems. anyway that's my little testimony (just one of many experiences with the priesthood) that the priesthood WORKS. I've always known it does, but it was just a powerful reminder.

Mitch's mom and I talk a lot of about medicine. pretty much everyone in their family has ADD...and she said something really interesting the other day about how she refused to let her kids go on ritalin or any of those freaky drugs, because the side effects are so COMMON and so bad- hallucinations, depression, difficulty breathing, mental fogginess, physical dependency- why would you deliberately put something like that into your body that CREATES DEPENDENCY, ALTERS YOUR MIND, AND TAKES AWAY YOUR FREE AGENCY. anyway just through a lot of research I've been doing about pharmaceutical companies and stuff...a lot of these prescriptions are little more than a huge racket for the doctors and drug companies to make people dependent on medicine so that they can rake in the $. heck, a lot of "antidepressents" actually GIVE people suicidal thoughts! and look at the drug that I was just on- which was basically a narcotic disguised as a legal drug to make me sleep!

I'll get off my soapbox but the more research I do, the more I realize how careful you have to be these days in taking care of your body. just because the government puts their stamp of approval on some drug, that does not necessarily mean it's a good idea to take it. Obviously drugs affect people differently, so if you can receive the benefit of that drug without the side effects, good for you. I just wish I could have come to this conclusion without my freaky experiences.

Basically, it looks like I will be dealing with my N the good old fashioned way, whatever that means. Whether it means restricted driving, doctor-sanctioned naps, or just dealing with being tired all the time, that beats letting mind-altering drugs take over my body, thankyouverymuch.

OK, so I'm a college graduate...now what?

The Friday before Thanksgiving was my last day of student teaching! it is a glorious feeling. the last day of school I gave my mentor teacher a book of mormon and all three missionary pamphlets. I wrote her a note and my testimony inside the bom. We have had a few discussions about religion, she is looking for a new congregation to join (though I'm sure her intentions were not to join a completely new religion haha. she is baptist.) anyway she has appeared fairly open-minded so I hope she at least opens it to read my testimony. she is a really good person with very high values and she has a lot of integrity. I know it wouldn't take much for her to fit right in the church, so we'll see how things go.

as my going away present she had the students all write me a letter and draw me a picture. it was so sweet. here is an excerpt from my favorite letter, though surprisingly not my favorite student. in fact, I would say that she was probably my least favorite student, and somehow she managed to write this amazing letter. it is the most coherent piece of writing I have ever seen her do. and she did this at school with no help from anyone so that's saying a lot:

Dear Mrs. Davies,

I hope all of the children be a loving class to you. You always teached us fun things in class. I hope your class don't make you feel lonely. Make sure your class do some hard-working. Every time you have fear just look at one of our notes and you'll be brave.

Aww isn't that so sweet!! I read it to mitch and he was like, "wow that was deep...it sounds like something the prophet would say" haha. I will miss the kids, but I'm glad to be moving on.

I just found out that I passed my giant culminating assignment that decides if I graduate or not...so I guess now I just wait for my diploma, and in the meantime, apply for jobs. Here's the thing...I have absolutely no idea what type of job to apply for. haha. so glad college prepared me for real life! jk...but seriously.

my main concern is that I get so exhausted and moody throughout the day, that I just cannot see myself going back to a full time job. now that I at least know what is causing my daytime sleepiness, I'm hoping to get a handle on it with the new medication that's supposed to come in the mail tomorrow.

as far as the career/temporary job indecision...I guess I will be doing a lot of praying over the next few days/weeks. I would appreciate any of your prayers as well...I will need all the inspiration I can get!!

In case you haven't heard...

...the big news of the week is that I have NARCOLEPSY.

Ahaha. Fo reals.

SO if you recall I went to the hospital a few weeks ago to be studied while I slept. Well fast forward to the appointment following my 20 hours worth of sleep tests. It was basically the funniest thing ever. As I was waiting in the room for the doctor to come see me to give me my diagnosis (at this point I was just praying they weren't going to say "Oh sorry, you just spent $900 on a test and we found nothing wrong with you"), I was reading my book, (which I was really enjoying btw), and I couldn't help but fall asleep. (In narco speech they're called sleep "attacks" bc it is next to impossible to predict or prevent.) Anyway so as I was taking my little narcoleptic snooze, the doctor walks in and I jolted awake and she asked, "Oh sorry did I wake you up?" as if it was the most normal thing in the world for someone to fall asleep in 5 minutes sitting up in a hard plastic chair.

Anyway, she proceeded to tell me that after looking at my brain scans from my sleep study, they discovered that I have very abnormal sleep patterns consistent with narcolepsy. Add that to my lengthy history of falling asleep in class (middle school, high school, and college), falling asleep at work, always needing naps...and it adds up to narcolepsy. It's obviously not as extreme as the movies portray...like I really only fall asleep after sitting for longer than 20-30 minutes or so, and it depends on how badly I slept the night before. Anyway, the point is...it sucks and there's no cure, but it's treatable. There's some medicine I'm going to start soon that should help me sleep better at night. And there's a stimulant drug that I'll probably also start that will help me stay awake during the day. At least...in theory it's supposed to help anyway haha.

So I guess there's like a narcolepsy support group... ahahaha. I'm probably going to join so I can get their emails about the latest research. Kinda stinks because not a lot is known about narcolepsy and they don't really know what causes it. I'm supposed to develop the weirdest symptoms as I get older, so I need all the info I can get haha.

In light of the Thanksgiving season and my newly discovered disorder, I thought this cartoon to be oh-so-appropriate:

Also it's made realize I need to be careful how much turkey I eat before I drive home this Thanksgiving :D

2 Things

1) last week I even fell asleep in the middle of class by accident. and I'm the teacher. bahahahahha. I was sitting at the desk and I dozed on and off for like 30 minutes while the kids were doing something else with my mentor teacher. anyway two of the kids by my desk noticed. I woke up from my dream (yes I have problems...I can instantly fall sleep and dream sitting up in a lit, noisy room) and two kids by my desk were watching me and when I opened my eyes they cracked up. One of them was like, "Mrs. Davies, Are you sleepy or what?" ahahhaha.

so anyway I was able to get in to see the doctor and they say, surprise! something is wrong with me. So they scheduled me for a sleep study, which I got to miss school/work, however you look at it, for. Although I wouldn't say it was any more fun than school/work. As you can see, I have all manner of gadgets hooked up to me. Miraculously, I was able to sleep with all that stuff on. They tested me the next day as well, where they asked me to nap on command every couple of hours. I fell asleep every time (5 times in a row), which showed that clearly something is wrong with me ahaha but I am scheduling a follow-up appointment with my doctor soon to go over the results. Anyway, the photo is hilarious so I thought you would enjoy it. It looks like I have buck teeth but actually that is a tube stuck up my nose. Yes, I will acknowledge that this is probably the most embarrassing picture of me in existence.

2) Moving on! Miracle of miracles, our prayers have been answered and Mitch's company has switched him to a bank post full time, which means that he has normal hours during weekdays, works half-day on Saturdays, and doesn't work Sundays! Ever!! Yay! Funnily enough, the day after he was offered this position, we got a call from the bishopric and they asked us to be in the nursery every Sunday. Basically we figure that Heavenly Father must want us in there pretty bad, since he pulled some strings with Mitch's job to make it work! We are just sooo happy. Also the bank is only 25 min away, which is wayyy closer than the hour+ he was having to commute every day. And no more graveyards either! And it's indoors, just in time for winter! Overall, it has been a huge blessing and I'm sure we have Zach and Josh to thank in some part for it. We're so grateful to them for being such diligent missionaries and for their prayers- I know they are bringing lots of blessings for us as well as the rest of our family.

That's all for tonight. It's bedtime!

Shell Frame

So my BFF is getting married tomorrow. I was not able to go to the wedding in California, but I wanted to get her something special for her wedding. I wanted to do it along the lines of something she loves (OK obviously...I wouldn't be her best friend if I got her something she hated). Well there is probably nothing in the whole world she loves more than the beach. OK, maybe her future husband, but even that's probably up for debate. Haha! Just kidding. But she really is obsessed with the beach.

Well her engagement pictures are just gorgeous, taken on the beach. I figured, a beach frame would be cute and more personal than a lame BB&B gift card...am I right? Well the ones I saw at the store/online were either ugly, or too expensive. And I was in the mood to let off some steam in a productive sort of crafty way, so this frame was born. The one pictured is actually mine...I had leftover supplies and the frames were on sale, so I figured, why not? Mine is a 5x7 and my friend's is an 8x10, but other than that they both look basically the same.

This is it in its first stage. I have sand that I have yet to decide to sprinkle between the cracks of the shells to give it some interest..what do you think?

Mrs. Daisies

Yes that's my new name. Or at least, it is according to my class of 8-year-olds. Not that they call me that on purpose, they just can't help it that they all have cute accents or little lisps of some kind :)

Let's see...what else is new in the world of 3rd grade? Mainly I am so busy that I come home and crash every day. Drive, school, drive, eat, sleep... drive, school, drive, eat, sleep...what a life.

Oh the other day I threw up in front of the whole class...no big deal. I had been feeling a little funny the night before, and then I guess it caught up with me the next morning, right in the middle of math haha. Luckily I made it to the back sink in time.

Let's see...what else. Oh yeah, 10 minutes after I left an after-school staff meeting a couple weeks ago, the school was put under emergency lockdown while there were cops and criminals making a scene out in the neighborhood in front of the school. A few days after that a bus driver in our district was found murdered in the bus lot before school one day. One thing's for certain...I'm not in Kan- I mean Provo- anymore.

But I am definitely learning a lot. Teaching science is my favorite. Some highlights from science include- testing objects for buoyancy in a tub of water, learning to read a Galileo thermometer, playing with lasers and mirrors, and building a pizza box solar oven to learn about thermal energy. Here it is, in all its glory:

I've also been able to hang out with the school librarian a little and help around the library (which earned me a free $10 to spend at the book fair! yippee!). I just love books so much...I'm seriously considering going back to school to get my masters and do the librarian thing. We'll see.

As for Mitch and I...a few weekends ago we took a trip to Austin with Mitch's family to see BYU play Texas. It was a close but unfortunate game. We still had a great time though, and we were able to be at the capitol for a special commemoration ceremony that Sunday which was 9/11. We also visited the state cemetery there (cemeteries are my favorite if you recall) and saw the monument they have there with some actual wreckage from the twin towers:

I totally stole that picture from wikipedia, but that's only because we are still unable to locate our camera charger :( luckily other than this trip we haven't done anything super exciting that has needed documenting. Anyway the cemetery was absolutely gorgeous, with beautiful landscaping. See for yourself:

It was a really nice weekend.

Oh yeah...in other news, Mitch officially has a job!!! After a few odd-jobs here and there, he was finally able to get something permanent as an armed security guard. Three or four 12 hour shifts a week, some of which are graveyards on and off. He has a tough schedule and I am proud of him. We are just so grateful as we need the money desperately to save up for flight school next year.

And...pretty much that's where we're at! This weekend is a three-day one for me (thank you Christopher Columbus), and I have high aspirations to finish my Teacher Work Sample...basically a 50-page monster that proves I deserve my diploma and certification as a bona-fide teacher.

Only 6 weeks left til I'm DONE DONE DONE. Graduation, here I come!!

:)