just thinking

A rather academically unproductive week. But then, it's all right, sometimes certain things do take priority...

Monday guild outing. Kuishin Bo. Again, people tell me I waste money. Lol. But it doesn't matter, it's usually more for the company. Kbox was awesome :) I really enjoy singining... so everyone has to put up with it.. HAHA! Dinner at a very familiar place... lol. Haven't been there in a while. A little bit of time wasting at my computer. A little bit of drama. I felt bad. But I guess it was coming.

Tues was project meeting with abnormal group. Lol. Not exactly literally. It was fun~ I was quite productive considering how stoned I was. 4 hours of sleep lasts me till 2pm max. (I woke up at 7) But then, it was probably because I didn't have lunch. Felt much better after dinner.

Wed consisted of mugging in the day and finding the boss at night. LOL. I'm such a noob. Do I lack cunning? Or perhaps a lousy streak of luck. But fine, I know people will tell me I don't know how to play. Hehehe.

Thurs was again about mugging in the day. But before that I went to the fMRI scanner with xiangyang and nick hon. Lol. Quite a fast thing. Managed to psycho nick hon to head back to his office in NUS so we could hitch a ride via cab. He didn't wanna let us pay anyway. Did some touching up with the experimental program and lunched with xy. The best part was dinner. It was soooo OMG. Late dinner btw. Started at 9.30pm. The soups plus wanhua. I was laughing so hard I couldn't eat. If I hung out more with them I would be getting abs soon. A few bosses of Naxx. One dps drop. Not too bad I guess.

Something I saw while mugging my social cognition module. "In the short term, people regret more about their actions; in the long term, people regret more about their inaction." Not the exact words but the meaning is more or less there. I've believed that since sec school. And therefore, I have never let something pass me by without at least trying. However, recently, I've been holding back. Perhaps because I'm not so sure anymore. Perhaps because I've changed. Yes another thing I've learned. People change without themselves realising how much they've changed. They usually underestimate this change in themselves - Hindsight bias to a certain extent.

But maybe it's not so much of just me. Maybe I need a little bit of confidence. But I don't feel it. Give up time? However, because regret is more painful than failure...

I liked you. Yes a past tense. Or getting there. I don't see the point of trying anymore. Perhaps to be able to give up so easily...haha. It's definitely not my usual character to give up so easily... lol.

In the middle of the day...

... and I feel like blogging. I feel like my whole mind's just full of things. Random thoughts just whizzing past each other....

Sometimes in life you just lose things. Different things of many shapes and sizes. Things that may mean a lot, and things that you don't even notice are gone. Sometimes these things... aren't exactly things at all. They could mean more than just mere objects, or perhaps circumstances have changed such that losing them is really all you can do... whether you can help it or not.

Why do some people live as though they will be young forever?

Why do some people struggle so hard to keep from losing something, and yet lost it, while others don't try at all, and still keep it?

Why do some people take so much for granted, and still opportunities still come running?

Why do the people you care for treat you so badly and yet those you don't, treat you so well?

Why do people not notice the very thing they are looking for could be right under their noses?

Why do so many people live with regrets?

Why are people never satisfied?

Why?

Life isn't fair. But yes, we learn to live with it. And we still find so many beautiful things in it. Paraphrasing from a story I've heard, let the bad things be written in sand, where the winds will blow them away, and the good things be carved in rock.

We should always take that leap of faith, to reach for the very thing that we thought was beyond our grasp. After all, regret is much worse than failure... in the long run.

An emo night

At 5pm I was happy that the term break was finally here. Then I realised I still have to go sch the next day cause of my research module. Oh well. There's good, there's bad I guess. The little 'chalet' with xintian got cut short by a day cause my uncle and aunt got back earlier than expected. Heh.

A night of songs and chat, of pizza and beer, and of laughter and tears. What can I say? Life never happens the way you want it to. But I believe God always has His ways. It's just that it's hard to let go of my own strength sometimes, of my own wants and desires.

It's been a long week.

Presentation finally over! 3 more to go. But today's was the worst, so it still calls for a little celebration~ Xintian and I went to Vivo to have dinner. Danny was there so I asked him to join us. An enjoyable little affair.

Feeling quite tired now, though it's only 10pm. Perhaps it's all the late nights this week. It kinda happens when you are staying with your best friend. Lol. However I wasn't exactly spending the late hours talking to her except the first night. Oh well.

I'm not normally one to shy away. But.... oh well.

Hmmmm. A week of a few surprises. Some good some perhaps not so good. A little reciprocation is in order. Now at varsity with poky. Quite a good chat about things last night. So essentially both of us prob have 5hours or less of sleep. Oh but what else is new really. I've been trying not to think of a few things, but I guess in trying not to think about, you think about it more. The irony of life isn't it? But the conclusion is 'I still don't know.' So there.

Going Europe with Jingyun in probably late june. Perhaps a month? :) It's really terribly exciting!

I seem to be taking this sem really slow. All I want to enjoy what's left of my student life while of course still fulfilling my responsibilities. It's fortunate that I've not graduated. Quite a few of my friends seem to be having difficulties finding jobs. Drats the economic downturn.

just a little

Time for another short update.

CNY has been good. Technically it's not over yet, but seeing as to how I won't be doing any more visiting, it feels as though it has past. Think I mentioned that before. lol.

I've been going out every day for this whole week. Supposed to go out again tonight but well... I really need to get some work done. As much as I want to enjoy my uni life, I can't forget about the negative consequences should I 'drop' now. So yea, time for some major work time before I get to enjoy?

I've always enjoyed spending time with friends, some more so than others. I guess that's only natural. It's the reason why we have 'good' friends and 'best' friends after all, one of the reasons why we distinguish them. One is lucky to always have a small group of friends to fall back on, the kind of friends you will never tire of meeting even if you have seen them at least 3 times in the same week. The kind of friends you will still wanna meet even if you feel really tired. Or perhaps it could merely be just one person. I think I have said this before but I wanna say it again - I'm really blessed to be able to say I have such friends.

I think I've worked out that balance. At least I'm not suffocating anymore. I do believe I like things this way after all.