I'm in total despair right now... I can't seem to play the guitar at all! Absolutely no muscial talent whatsoever. Haix. No idea how to strum at all...it either makes a dull sound or a messy sound. Oh boy... I think the triangle is the only one I can play. Wahahha...oh well...

Man I'm so bored right now! My cousins are only coming to the countdown party at my place at about 4 plus or 5plus? Lol. Thanks to dear Wee Jing Yun...she probably hasn't yet woken up. Hehe...

Maybe I should some of my ample DVDs...but then again, not in the mood to watch. I'm not a very TV person... I wanna go out! But going out means spending more money...unless I'm going to Warren...then I'm spending Dad's money! Hehe. But CCK is soooooooooo far. Lazy to go. The guys are playing soccer in school. Dang, it's been a long time since I last went to school. Hmm... and I'm supposed to go collect my EAGLES award! YEAH~! $150 for me to spend! Hehe. Should I make a trip down to school now..? Or wait till school reopens so I can see Ms Aw at the same time? Hmmmmmmm... :D:D Miss my teachers like mad...

Well, I think Kim's more poor thing than me anyway...she's stuck at home with a a bout of nasty chicken pox! Oh well, a group of us are gonna hang out at her place on 2nd Jan. Cheer her up a bit...since she can't go out, we'll go to where she is. And.... today's the last day of my consession!! Tmr onwards would be adult fare!!!!!!!!! boo hoo... there goes more money. *groans* I seriously need to get a job. Really hope I can get that telemarketing job! Haix. *prays hard* Shan't be going out as often next month anymore...coz it'll be job time! If you wanna go out, first you gotta work for cash. No money no outing. lol. I can't always depend on my parents for money you know. Besides, my mum isn't gonna give me any pocket money anymore.

It's such a nice weather to swim today. But I ain't got time to head down to warren now I think. Oh well. And swimming alone can get a little dreary sometimes. I'm a people person. Lol...not in the 'I-wanna-be-alone' mood now anyway. My passion for running is dwindling down a little...no idea why. Maybe it's becoz I need a running partner. My friends are mostly too far to go jogging with me. Except maybe Wailreng...he lives in Dover and that's the nearest already. Lol...sad huh. Oh well. Moreover with the increase in travelling expense, I need a friend who is within walking distance. Tsktsk.

Hmm... maybe I should just head out anyway. Last day of consession after all. Should use it while I still can. Go out and travel for free while I still can. Heh. Feel like going to school. Grr... but they're all guys. I need some girlfriends man! But they're all busy. Like what's new. Lol. Maybe I should get Akbar to head down to tiong bahru after his soccer. Need to help him with some stuff after all. Hehe. See how. My period of boredom is depending on this. Lol.

Here's more of some interesting quotes I came across... after this , I guess I better go to slp...ha!

"Should I Smile Because You're My Friend Or Cry Because Thats All We'll Ever Be?"

"Forget The Times You Walked By, Forget The Times You've Made Me Cry,Forget The Time You Held My Hand, Forget The Sweet Things If I Can, I Can No Longer Pretend, I Have To Remember Now That You're Just A Friend"

"How Can You Be Friends With Someone If Everytime You Look At Them It Makes You Want Them Even More?"

"Its hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone if your heart still does."

"I know in reality we can't be together, so I just close my eyes and you're right here with me... in my dreams you're mine forever."

"Its hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do."

"Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and you can never have them?"

" There are times when I cant decide whether to see you or not, I want to see you because I miss you but there are times when I dont want to see you because everytime I do, the fact that you dont see me the way that I see you hurts me even more ... "

ZZzzz...tired...but I don't want to sleep yet! Coz I'm gonna read Cronicles of Narnia first! Ok, not the whole book at one go...just a few chapters first. Heh... anyway, the movie isn't as great as I thought it would be...coz the ending is a little weird. As in how the witch died? lol..yea. Oh well....LOTR will still be my all time favourite movie series! :)

Anyway, dad told me a few days ago that I can only start having a stead when I'm 21. Lol...don't mind it though. He wants me to concentrate on my studies and everything first. Fair enough. Lol. Enjoy the freedom of singlehood manx. Widen my choices. Lol...

Darn, the job agency pple still hasn't called me yet. There's still till Tuesday though. I'm hoping I can get it together with Shijia and Gek xing! How fun to work with friends! Lol...no eating lunch alone yea? Lol...none of the schools have replied my email though. Irritating. Lol. No more relief teaching for me I guess.

badger badger badger! 

:) 

:) 

woooo 

woooooooooooooooooooooo 

wooo 

kick me! 

me with the army boys~! 

the whole gang! 

bish* 

CHEERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~! 

cheers! 

sitting on Samta's lap! 

samta!! 

The Xmas party on the 26th was a success~! Wahahha...totally enjoyed myself..and I hope everyone else did too! HEhe..really glad that the army guys could turn, though it was only for a short while.. :) Thank you everyone who came! I especially loved the gift exchange. It was hilarious I tell ya! Wahahaha...you should see some of the stuff the guys got. Thank goodness none of the girls got them. Well, I did get a pair of boxers though. Lol. Adamson and Sam got some, hmmm, very interesting books. Man, the expressions on the guys faces as they looked through the pages!! Oh man...got them on photos!!! I'll post some of them up later. *grins* Fadhil got this shirt from Kat. The shirt was so small I think it could fit only him or Kim! So...what a blessing he got it! Hehe...even on him, it was tight-fitting already! Hehe...and it says 'kick me' at the back. LOL! Kim got a pregnancy kit and condoms from Adamson. Hiek hiek...by the time she can use them, they would have expired. LOl.

Quite a few stayed over. Those who didn't were of course, the army boys - keeonn, fahmi and fauzul, shijia, siqian, teckyen, khadijah, janna and adamson. Jinhong and Farhan came after work. The rest - Akbar, Sam, Xintian, Kim, Gerald, Daryl, Fadhil and Jinhong stayed. Farhan left at around 2 plus I think. Yep...Oh, and Wai didn't come because he had diarhoea!!

Well, Kim and I drank a whole lot that night. Kim turned super stoned, and I got seriously high. Akbar claimed I was super irritating, but hey, I was enjoying my 'high' state man! It felt really good. Not the drunk yet, just the really high part. Yupx. It's fun to drink with me. We all toasted too! Well, those who CANNOT (grins) drink alcohol had to drink sparkling wine of coz. Hehe... but it was all fun nonetheless.

The guys kept on playing the PS2 non-stop! Goodness...soccer, rugby...whatever manx. Lol. Thank goodness Jing left his PS2 here den. Otherwise I think the guys might have gotten a little bored after that. Xintian and Kim knocked out at about 3 plus. Daryl also followed at around 4 plus. I let my bro sleep on my bed, the poor thing...have to tolerate losing his bed. Lol...so I let him sleep on mine lo. I joined two chairs together outside at the living, intending to sleep for a short half hour...but when I woke up, it was daytime already. Lol! A solid 3 hours.

Jinhong left before I woke up. Xintian left at about 9 plus...she even packeted some chickens back! Lol...cute manx. Yup, the food was that good! Thank you Auntie Anisha! Hehee.. who's left - me, kim, daryl, akbar, fadhil, sam and gerald. Oh, gerald left at around 10 plus to go home and shit too. Lol...the dumb guy refuses to shit at my place. oh well...Lol. Yea, the rest of us just chilled out in my room. Watching 'badger badger badger...' LOL! And looking through my past photos...how utterly embarrassing. Lol...I look hideous during my primary and secondary school years. Lol. Well, before we left the house, we did our own video of 'badger badger badger' !! It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo hilariously funny! My goodness...couldn't stop laughing manx. Shall do a video of the whole xmas party. Wait for it!! :)

After that we went to boon lay when kim took a bus home from there. The rest of us wanted to bowl...but when we reached the place, it was under renovation!! Grr... Oh well, den we headed back to JP for Long John's...the machine was spoiled so there was only grilled fish left! Oh man...super suay la.. Lol. In the end, we had dinner at Banquet. Yup. Oh well, after that we all parted ways to go home. Wahhahaha...bed sweet bed. SNORE....

Anyway, went for a job interview the next day together with Shijia and Gek xing (28/12). Haha...it went ok I think. Not as scary as I thought it would be...but I dun think I can get the job though. Hmmm, well hope for the best then! I really need some extra pocket money. My mum stopped giving me pocket money already...so....yea...lol. Intended to go swimming after the interview, but there wasn't enough time, coz I was supposed to meet Daryl to go to Kim's house together. Hehe...She got chicken pox! Poor girl man. Right on the day before her job. So yea, we went to watch DVD at her house for a bit. Then my mum came to pick me up before we could finish the show! Lol. Oh well...let kim finish the show first lo. Hehe. Mum gave daryl a bit to the interchange at my place. Heh.

Yea...super tired now. Going to Kim's house again tonight. This time with Akbar and Siqian. And before that, I shall go swimming!! Haven't exercised for some time already. Feeling lethargic and everything. *groans* Lol... all right. Shall sign off now...

Cheerios~!

Sentosa

Went to Sentosa with Kim, Akbar, Khadijah, Gerald, Sam, Fadhil and Adamson yesterday~! We have loads of fun man! Played volleyball, kayaked, had a ulitmate frisbee competition (which my team lost pretty badly...but what the heck right? All that matters is that we had fun!!) and bascially just hung out...splashing in the water and stuff. Now I'm pretty muched burnt...not the kind that would make my skin peel, hopefully. Hee...

Ended our beaching session at around 6 plus. Bathed and stuff...thankfully the queue this time wasn't long. As we walked towards the bus waiting area, saw BEN AND JERRY'S!!! whoopeee~! Lol... Adamson treated Kim and I to a cone each. Hehe. Sam told me that he wanted to treat me, but since Adamson did...lol, don't worry Sam, there'll be lots of opportunities next time! Hehehe...well after that, we went for dinner at Banquet food court at Harbourfront centre at around 8pm. Ate and chit-chatted till about 9pm...den off home we went! Lol...my dad was surprised to see me home so early (9.30pm)...he expected me to reach home at 10 plus...or maybe even 11 plus. Wahhaha...nah, we were all too exhausted yesterday. Hehe...too long without exercise...oh wellx. Hehe.

That was yesterday. Today I'm feeling a little off...but it'll be ok, coz I'm going shopping with my mum and cousin! Hehehe...my mum my atm. :P I'm so mean. Hehehehe...

Haix. I've been the cause of much hurt lately. Feeling pretty horrible about it. Oh wellx...



Endless Road by Lin Junjie

HO~~~~~~~~
The truth is tearing up my heart
I can‘t recognize this place
The endless road without a stop sign
Can‘t even find a stranger this time

Why am I still holding back my tears
In this loneliness there‘s nothing to fear
Every chord still seems a wonder
How we could be together
Every time I ask if this
Would be the last

Why am I still talking to myself
Hoping you will have the keys to my cell
Every song might calm the weather
But it just draws me deeper
How do I get out of this
I think I never will……

A crystal forming in the eye
Maybe this would be the last
The winding path down my face
Till I begin to taste the bitterness inside

Some quotes I found really...interesting...

Sometimes you love something so much that it hurts to leave it, but you must. Sometimes it hurts too much to hold on to that thing you love. And sometimes you let go of what you love because it hurts, but then just sometimes... you get it back and live happily ever after.

When I see you smile and know that it is not for me, that is when I will miss you the most.

I miss you a little, I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too often, and a little more each day

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.—

It is wonderful to be loved and to love. It is horrible to love and not be loved. But it is the most horrible to tell someone who deeply loves you that you don’t love them and watch their heart shatter in front of your eyes.

Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.

Merry Christmas~!

Once again that jolly time of the year has come again...CHRISTMAS IS COMING! Woots~! I'm like super excited for the party I'm holding for my friends on boxing day..which is incase some people don't know, on the 26th Dec. Hehe. I seriously hope it will be a success. Gonna prepare tons of food and all. Janna and Adamson will be helping me with getting the groceries in the morning. Yep...need all the help I can get. Oh, and Kim's coming too! Around 12 I think. Janna and Adam coming at 9. Hehe...

It's always this time of the year when I start to think back and realise how important my friends are to me. Seriously. I don't need a stead or anything...I just need my friends. My close friends. Without them, I doubt I'd be what I am now. Probably become some psychotic depressed whimp. Haha...

I'm totally into making videos now. Nothing fancy...just windows movie maker. Haha...learnt it all from Fahmi. Wahaha...

Man there are so many things to do and so little time to do them! Still have got tons of xmas shopping to do. Man I'm like so dead people!

It's so hard to be just your friend...

Life's totally screwed up for me now. So many things are going wrong. Lost my retainers last night at the food court. Left it there. Now it costs $400 to make a new pair. I want to die. My mum is super pissed with me. I suck.

I'm such a freaking loser. Thank God for all my friends, otherwise I'll probably be better off dead. Can't believe myself. SHIT MAN.

Whatever. Stop the self-pity. Movie marathon at Kim's on Wed...can't wait! :)

daryl and me 

lovely flowers 

love them all!~!~!~! 

table pic~! 

prom crashers! guess who... 

baby and me~! 

me getting ready 

WOOOOOOOOOOTS~! Prom was the best thing that ever happened to me in my JC life!!! Had a damn lot of fun really. Every part of it...I can remember them all so clearly. The shopping for clothes, accessories and shoes - the making up part - the event itself - the numerous photos taken - the after prom party... WHOA~! I love PJC PROM!!

I don't even know how to start talking about it. Guess I'll just save them all in my memories...and the photos. Hee. Fahmi's making the video for the prom thing. Can't wait to check it out!

Man I just need to get really wasted right now. Feeling a little screwed up. Ok, not a little...quite a lot. I can't believe he said that...but I guess it's not unexpected. Oh well... I'm alone again

"Out Of Reach"

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool

So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So farI never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach,
I can see
There's a life out there
For me

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...I'm at my darling cousin's house right now! But I'm not staying overnight though...leaving before dinner I think. Just came over to continue writing this novel we've been working on for a year plus already! Lol... we're always too busy to really write a lot at one go. Either that or I just don't have the inspiration. Lol...cause I'm the one mainly writing the story. My cousin helps out with the plot and stuff. Lol...and for those who take Lit b4, you know how stuff writing essays can be right? Imgaine a novel. Wahahha...I must be mad.

Feeling pretty bored now.Hmmm...not bpred exactly. Just feeling rather depressed with my cousin. Her name's Jing Yun by the way. Her close friend is migrating to New Zealand tonight. Sigh...so many people leaving. Seriously, it's times like this when you really treasure your school life, when your friends are all pretty much closely knitted, and everyone was within reachable contact. All these graduation and leaving just dismays me.

I'm DEEEEPPPREEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!! lol... Haix. Feel like going for a swim. But the pool's too far away. Lol. Too lazy to go jogging either. Haix. The feeling totally sucks doesn't it. I need a treadmill at home.

Feel like sleeping today away and just waking in time tomorrow to go church. Then go for manicure with my friends, then go shopping with my mum. Somehow I'm looking forward to Monday...and at the same time, I'm not looking forward to Monday. I'm weird right? Don't know. I'm really quite excited for Monday...but I don't know what that day entails either. Haha...ok I don't get what I'm talking about either...

Okok. gtg continue story writing...Cherrios~

"Oops! ...I Did It Again"

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

I think I did it again
I made you believe we're more than just friends
Oh babyIt might seem like a crush
But it doesn't mean that I'm serious
'Cause to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Oh baby, baby

[CHORUS:]
Oops!...I did it again
I played with your heart, got lost in the game
Oh baby, baby
Oops!...You think I'm in love
That I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

You see my problem is this
I'm dreaming away
Wishing that heroes, they truly exist
I cry, watching the days
Can't you see I'm a fool in so many ways
But to lose all my senses
That is just so typically me
Baby, oh

[Repeat CHORUS]

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

"All aboard"
"Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have"
"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this...?"
"Yeah, yes it is"
"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end"
"Well baby, I went down and got it for you"
"Oh, you shouldn't have"

Oops!...I did it again to your heart
Got lost in this game, oh baby
Oops!...You think that I'm sent from above
I'm not that innocent

Lol! Sorry for late update...the A LEVELS ARE FINALLY OVER~!~!~! I've been playing too much to bother about updating my blog man. Shopping like mad! Hee....went out with my mum yesterday...think she spent over 500 bucks~! Woots~! I love you mum! Heee...

I'm now at Xintian's new house at Toa Payoh! It's super nice I tell u! The view is fantastic! Wahahha.. I'm so gonna stay over again soon! Hee... I LOVE HER ROOM. Can you believe her parents let her use the master bedroom? Goodness....I also want sia... =p

Went swimming with Xintian and Siqian in the morning...then shopping at Orchard Road. We bought chocolate Fondue!! The one with the chocolate foundation selling right outside Heeren. HEEE~! Super super creamy and smooth! Totally love it! XT was even licking the chocolate off the plastic cover with her fingers! Goodnes.. lol!

Don't know why I've been feeling so happy lately. No, it's because I'm in love or anything. Hmmm... dunno exactly myself. Just feeling...free I guess ? No more worries... it's like I just feel the lack of burdens on me, as though I've dropped everything... or rather they have been released. But there is that one thing I don't know what to do...but I'm not gonna bother for now. Take it as it comes.

Sometimes I just feel that I've narrowed down to one too early. I still enjoy being single. I love the idea of being single actually. I'm not ready to settle for anyone just yet...

Just got back from church~ Whoa, today's service felt really great! Well, first the songs of praise were really inspiring and strong, for lack of a better word to describe it. :) And we sang 'One Way'! Lol...my brother is gonna be so jealous. He absolutely loves that song...but he's at chalet right now. Lol...too bad. You win some you lose some. Then today's also GYM's seventh anniversary. And the GYM choir sang two songs. The first song had a solo part, and the lady who sang it...I was seriously blown away! Her voice was totally like an angel! So sweet and pure. Wow.. I wish I had a voice like that. Hee. The second song was 'Jesus loves me this I know'...sung by little kids and the seniors. Lol. The kids version was damn cute...the seniors' were super funny!! Coz they changed the lyrics and stuff. Lol! Lucky I recorded the whole thing down...gonna listen again later! :)

Tomorrow's my Bio p3. Don't feel like mugging for it, seriously. Haha...just get there and do it. Woots~ live life on the edge man! Hee.. I consider tmr my last paper coz bio p1 on thurs...haha, I'm not too worried about that. :p

Hmmm... do you think it's better to live life as it flows...or to plan every step you take meticulously? Which will give you less pain, less hardship, less regrets, less heartache? Or is it better to take the rougher road...but enjoy the pleasurable moments more? Planning can be draining, but the consequences of not planning can be exhausting too. Guess it's up to you to decide path to take - to plan your own fruit tree painstakingly but bearing the sweetest fruit and knowing it's yours to pick, or to pick any sweet fruit of any other tree, knowing it isn't yours, and that you might never come across that same tree again, even if you love it....

SARA EVANS

"Need To Be Next To You"

Been running from these feelings for so long
Telling my heart I didn't need you
Pretending I was better off alone
But I know that it's just a lie
So afraid to take a chance again
So afraid of what I feel inside

[Chorus]But I need to be next to you
Oh I, oh I
I need to share every breath with you
Oh I, oh I
I need to know I can see your smile each morning
Look into your eyes each night
For the rest of my life
Here with you near with you
Oh I, I need to be next to you

Right here with you is where I belong
I'll lose my mind if I can't see you
Without you there is nothing in this life
That would make life worth living for
I can't bear the thought of you not there
I can't fight what I feel anymore

[Repeat Chorus]

Oh I, I need to be next to you
I need to have your heart next to mine
For all time
Love you for all of my life

[Repeat Chorus]

TWO MORE PAPERS LEFT! Oh man... finally. Today's Chem paper was pretty ok. Might have made a mistake or two...but what the heck right? Lol...it's over and I'm happy~ hee...

Stayed back to watch soccer played by some of the guys at school. Dhil was playing... hee. And he was wearing the shoes I got him. *grins* Well, had to leave early coz Serena couldn't stay, and I didn't want to be the only girl there...so... lol. Oh well. It's not that I didn't want people to suspect or anything... I really don't care if they do... just that... haha...shy la. :p

Tomorrow I'm gonna study at JE lib with Akbar and Kim. Siqian is tagging along to accompany us coz Akbar forecd her to... Lol! Yea she finished her paper today already...that pig. Lol. Haix. No mood to study for Bio p3. The most boring paper to study for man... Lol. Oh well...it'll all be over soon. Can't wait!

But what I really can't wait for is PROM!!! Woot~! I really really cannot wait for it manx. Lol. So many things to buy and do. Wooooooooooooooo~! It'll be the most exciting time of my JC life! Heeee... gonna go out with Kim, Akbar, SQ, Daryl, Teckyen and Janna. Such fun man! Hee... hmmm, I seriously don't know what to wear. First time I'm actually planning so much for a function. Lol...sec 4 prom...couldn't be bothered sia. Lol. :p

All right, think I shall continue reading Celestial Zone.. yep, my dear bro Akbar bought the whole series for me! Hee...

Laterz~

First weekday with no paper! HAhaha... man, I've been having exams everyday...except for Sat and Sun of course. Oh well. Four sub combi sure sucks the most during this period. Lol. Later I'll be heading to Jurong East library to study with Akbar. Not sure if Dhil's coming along too. Oh well.

Today I woke up with this strange analogy in my head. Imagine you're in this forest, more of those deciduous forests types, where the canopy isn't too think, so you still can rays of sunlight streaming through the trees above. You can hear the chirping of the birds, and the shushing of the leaves. The undergrowth isn't too thick, but as you walk, you hear the crunching of the fallen leaves as you step on them. Every tree seems to be growing some sort of edible fruit, so you'll never grow hungry. You walk on, without a care in the world, just walking on and on, not even thinking of anything...just enjoying the moment, the freedom, the peace...

But after a while, you begin to feel a little lonely. Just then, a magnificent deer comes your way. A large and splendid one, with powerful looking antlers, and you only reach his neck He looks at you, seeming to understand your need for company. His eyes seem to see right through you, as though he could understand your thoughts, your feelings totally. As you walk on, he walks on with you.

The day begins to grow darker. The wind starts to howl. You know it's going to rain soon but you don't know where you could seek shelther in the large forest. Seeing how helpess you are, the deer nudges you on the shoulder, asking you to follow him. You do, and soon you come to a tree with a thick hollow trunk. You crawl through the hole, but there is only just enough space for you. The deer guards the entrance, blocking the rainwater from splashing in... and you're kept warm and dry. Tired, you fall asleep, against the deer's side...

A couple hours later, you wake up. The rain has stopped, but the deer has not left. He looks at you, wordlessly asking if you are ready to move on. You get out of the hole, giving him a grateful hug as you do so. The sky is still gloomy, so the forest seems scary, full of lurking shadows. You stick closer to the deer and he nudges you reassuringly.

Just then a really adorable squirrel pops out in front of you from nowhere! You pick him up he scrambles onto your shoulders. His antics amuse you and you laugh. You begin to feel less afraid of what's around you, giving your full attention to the creature you're playing with. The deer still sticks close by, giving you that sense of security.

Just when you are entralled with the squirrel, a mousedeer appears. He looks up to you, as though wanting you company. You open you arms out to him and he comes to you, and you welcome him with a hug. But soon that squirrel takes away your attention again, and that mousedeer is left at your feet, not forgotten, but just left more...alone.

After a while, the squirrel scrambles up the deer to play, climbing all over the deer's antlers. You just look at him and smile, missing his company already. Just then, the mousedeer nudges your legs, and you are reminded of his presence again, albeit aplogetically. You carry him up and talk to him as you would a fellow human, and you love the way he just listens to you. But when the squirrel climbs back to you, you put the mousedeer back on the ground, giving your attention to the squirrel again.

It occurs to you that you might be rather mean to the mousedeer, but you try to shrug the feeling away. The deer just looks at you, giving a knowing sigh, but he does not interfere.

The active squirrel doesn't always stay with you. Just when you thought you were both having fun, he suddenly scrambles away without warning. Usually he wouldn't leave for long...however, you never know when he would be coming back. Meanwhile, the deer and the mousedeer continues to stick close. At times they would leave a bit, probably in search of things to do...but they're never far away.

Haha...ok, my thoughts are left like that. Strange huh? But I love animals anyway....so it seems rather nice to me. Lol...all right, going to study with Akbar at the lib soon...so I better go...ciaoz~

Was just about to go sleep...but I decided to blog a little first. Chem p2 today was totally screwed up. Haix. But I won't go into that. Lol...my friends are doing it enough for me. The more they talk about it, the more I realise how many stupid mistakes I made. But what the heck. I can't be bothered anymore.

Feeling really shitty right now. Seriously don't know what I'm trying to do. Sigh. Feel like going to the beach again. Just sitting there alone and listening to the waves. Then again, I don't really like being alone. Just wanna have a friend who understands, just sitting there with ya. Haha...I'm talking nonsense. I'm feeling so confused right now. Don't know what I want with my life. Sometimes I feel like I really want to get good grades...and other times, I can't care less. Don't know man... guess I need to clear my head a lil...

Life does get more complicated as you get older doesn't it? Maybe I'm thinking too much, as in I'm making it more complicated than it has to be. Can't say for sure. All I know is that I'm making a fool out of myself. Why must I be such a sensitive freak? I need an outlet man. I need one. But I've promised...so I won't. Think I shall go running later...

Physics p1 and 2 later today. And look! I'm not even studying man. Haix. Shall take the paper knowing what I know. Perhaps I'll revise through my notes. Haha...I'm just too lazy for the A levels man. Oh well, take it as it comes.

Woke up at 7.30am today despite sleeping at 1am in the morning. Lol. Just couldn't sleep anymore man. Don't know why. Haha...Dhil is being majorly sweet now. Hee...I'm gonna get Diabetes, but who cares man? It's nice to have someone there and all. :)

All right...shall go try to study a lil first. Maybe I'll continue blogging tonight. Tomorrow's chem p2 anyway...not as worried bout that. Heehee.

Ciaoz~

MAth today sucked big time! Lol...just when I was so confident of getting my A for it... p2 had to dash my hopes...but it's not too bad I hope. Think I can still scrap my A through..*cross fingers* I can only hope tomorrow's GP paper won't be too difficult. I really wanna get my A for it. Lol...not that I'm doing much work for it. Heee...

Went for lunch with Janna, Kat, Akbar, Gerald and a few others from my class... HEhe... ate at Long John's..den we went up to Food culture to join Kim and david they all. Wahahha...like pigs sia. Kat bought food from there and Janna and I just nibbled some. Hee.. no money la. No choice. Lol.

Anyway, I watched 'Just like Heaven' with some of my classmates and some from S07...DAMN NICE~! Hee...totally my type of show manx. Can you believe I cried like a mad ass near the end of the show??? Ok, it's actually not that hard to believe la. I'm such an emotional freak. Seriously, the show is absolutely sweet. Hee. Ok, the ending might be a little cliche...but hey, which romantic comedy wouldn't have a good ending? Lol. Oh well. During the second half of the movie, I was seriously wishing he was sitting right beside me... hee. You know... it's just those kind of nice feeling. Put head on shoulder and stuff. Lol. Ok, I'm getting mushy. Wahaha...what can I say? I'm drama queen. I'm all the things I shouldn't be. Well at least I spoke with him once today. Just a 'good luck' before the math paper. Wahaha...I'm pathetic aren't I? But what the heck. I'm too shy to say much in front of too many people. Hee.

Man I'm bored sia. Oh well. Will sleep really early tonight. Okok, going to eat dinner now. ciaoz~!

Woots~! Just finished the second day of A levels. So far the papers have been easier than I expected... well, perhaps I've made certain mistakes I do not know of...but what the heck. I shall not think about what's done...look to the future man! ;p

Bio p2 was seriously do-able! I was surprised myself! First time I could do the essays!! Lol... as you can tell, I'm super happy about it! Hmm, if all goes just as well for bio p1 and p3, I might just be able to get a C or even a B! Yeah~! Hee... As for Math p1 and Chem p3, I found them pretty easy actually. Yea Ms Aw! I think I can get that A I promise you after all! Yippee~! =p

Okok, enough said about the A levels papers. Life's pretty much stagnant nowadays. Well like duh right? Everyone's mugging for the A levels...except me :p ... well, I do study of course, but it seems not as much as what my other friends are doing. Lol. I hope everyone will come back and return home exhilarated next year!! Wahahha... I'm aiming for AABC at least. *cross fingers* *prays hard* Heehee...

Sigh, sometimes I wish I'm not such an emotional person. It's like I'm the kind that...when I like someone, it's like practically all the way kind of thing. How do I say it? Maybe this quote of mine can sum it up - when you like/love a person, even his faults can become endearing. Lol. Something like that. And it's like I can think of him almost every minute of the day... things around me remind me of him...haha... I sound like a sicko don't I? Then again...if it's all one-sided, it gets really really draining. Well, I'd still care for the person since I like him a lot and stuff... but I'm still human after all. Sometimes I wish things could be the other way round...that someone would do the same for me. But it ain't every possible isn't it? I mean, who could possibly like plump and short little old me? Lol... sometimes I wonder if I make someone as happy to see me as that person makes me. I mean, it's nice to know you brighten someone's day right? I know I will be happy to know that. HAha... okok, I guess I shall stop here for now. Ciao~

One more thing... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID!! YOU'RE FINALLY 18 AT LAST!!! Heeeee... :P

A weird Dream

Just woke up not too long ago. Had a pretty weird...or dreams...coz I woke up at 8am, went back to sleep and had another weird dream. Lol. This is possibly a result of the things that have been happening recently, yes well, all right before the A levels. I have this feeling I might just screw up my A levels. But hey, I have friends who believe in me... so I'm just gonna fight that feeling and get what I ought to get for As - AABB at least. Heh.

Anyway back to the dream. The first dream was about this airplane ride. Or I wasn't sure if it was a ride. We actually boarded the a real plane, knowing that it will crash and stuff. I went with 4 people - Akbar, Janna and Yes. Akbar and Janna sat at the back. I wanted to sit at the front, but Yes didn't dare to...so he sat somewhere in the middle while I went alone to the front. Change of Scene - the plane took off and then suddenly the engines went off...the plane dropped back to the ground (It was only about 10m off) and kinda rolled a little and skidded. *jaw dropped* Lol. Amazingly no one was killed or even injured. It seemed so real, yet it was actually supposed to be a ride? Lol. Anyway...back to my 'body'. I was feeling pretty much terrified, so I rushed off to find Akbar and gang. Just as I found them, I realised I left my bag on my seat, with my passport wallet and everything! So I rushed back to my seat, only to find 4 Indian guys about to split the loot. I was desperately trying to snatch everything back out of their hands..and they decided to play along with me by tossing the stuff to each other. *blood boil* Then my friends came. Janna stood by me since she couldn't do much either. But I was really impressed by Akbar man. He was like calling those guys names and intimidating them and stuff. The things he said was like WOW...considering there were 4 of them and one of him. Yes was pretty much useless just standing at one corner. Couldn't be bothered about him. Lol. Woot. It was a really cool dream in fact. Lol. Well, the dream ended somewhere there. Heh. Because my alarm rang. Lol.

Next dream. Can't really remember much about this one except I was walking with this guy up the driveway into his home. Yup, he's rich alright. Apparently in my dream, his family owns Billabong or something. Lol. I remembered he was rather exhausted from doing something so I was just walking with him slowly to his home. Well, all over the front garden of his home, the carpark and everything, there were these girls around. I guess they wanted to see him or something...and let me tell ya one thing, they were extremely jealous girls. Then suddenly, the guy carried me up and started running a little and then jumped high up in the air! Like around 20m at least! I was too startled to even speak! I was like 'if you can do that while you're tired, who knows what you can do when you're not!' Anyway, those girls saw and they started chasing us. Apparently I had an ability to create images of myself if I wanted to. I made one and one girl caught it...and started clawing, stomping on it...Omg. Anyway, the guy carried me again and dashed out to the guardhouse leading out of his property. Just before that he let me down and got into his car, saying he'll distract them. Right at the guardhouse, I saw this car..with my family and cousins in it! I jumped in through the window and we were off! Lol...Well, before I could meet the guy again...I woke up. I can't remember the guy's face...but I did know he was those rugged kind - strong and handsome. Something like DaoMing Si from Meteor Garden but 10000 times nicer. Lol. Wow...I love dreams like this. Makes me feel cherished and special. Like that guy choosing me from so many other girls. HAha... things that will never happen to me in reality.

A levels starting soon. Sigh. I just wanna get it over and done with already. Counting down to the end of the A levels. :p

Man...I realised how much I miss blogging. Hee. So maybe I might just get back into it... possibly after the A levels though. Lol.

he wasn't

"He Wasn't"
There's not much going on today.
I'm really bored, it's getting late.
What happened to my Saturday?
Monday's coming, the day I hate.
Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
He isn't really what I'm looking for.

This is when I start to bite my nails.
And clean my room when all else fails.
I think it's time for me to bail.
This point of view is getting stale.
Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.

He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
He isn't really what I'm looking for.
Na na na na na, we've all got choices.
Na na na na, we've all got voices.
Na na na na na, stand up make some noise.
Na na na na, stand up make some noise.

Sit on the bed alone, staring at the phone.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
He isn't really what I'm looking for.
He wasn't what I wanted, what I thought, no.
He wouldn't even open up the door.
He never made me feel like I was special.
Like I was special, cuz I was special.Na na na na na.

Whoa...long time since I had a real blog entry huh. Well, I'm not gonna say much anyway...going to sleep soon since I'll be up early to study. Well...so many things have happened man...and all right before the A levels! Goodness...quite terrible huh. Quite a mixture of feelings really...but it's all getting better now. Feeling happy...but of course, the A levels are kinda stressing me out. My mum says she thinks I won't be able to do well ..at the right I'm going. Lol. Oh well. I somehow think the same way as her.Lol...

Dreaming of You

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
Thinking of me too

Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you ever see me
And I wonder if you know I'm there
If you looked in my eyes
Would you see what's inside
Would you even care?

I just wanna hold you close
But so far all I have a dreams of you
So I wait for the day
And the courage to say how much I love you
Yes I do!

I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Corazón
I can't stop dreaming of you
No puedo dejar de pensar en ti
I can't stop dreaming
Cómo te necesito
I can't stop dreaming of you
Mi amor, cómo te extraño

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe
That you came up to me and said "I love you"
I love you too!

Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming of you endlessly

Dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room
I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Endlessly
And I'll be holding you tight
Dreaming...with you...tonight!

Dreaming of You
Franne Gold & Tom Snow

Late at night when all the world is sleepingI stay up and think of youAnd I wish on a star that somewhere you areThinking of me too
Cause I'm dreaming of you tonightTill tomorrow I'll be holding you tightAnd there's nowhere in the world I'd rather beThan here in my room dreaming about you and me
Wonder if you ever see meAnd I wonder if you know I'm thereIf you looked in my eyesWould you see what's insideWould you even care?
I just wanna hold you close But so far all I have a dreams of youSo I wait for the dayAnd the courage to say how much I love youYes I do!
I'll be dreaming of you tonightTill tomorrow I'll be holding you tightAnd there's nowhere in the world I'd rather beThan here in my room dreaming about you and me
CorazónI can't stop dreaming of youNo puedo dejar de pensar en tiI can't stop dreamingCómo te necesitoI can't stop dreaming of youMi amor, cómo te extraño
Late at night when all the world is sleepingI stay up and think of youAnd I still can't believe That you came up to me and said "I love you"I love you too!
Now I'm dreaming with you tonightTill tomorrow and for all of my lifeAnd there's nowhere in the world I'd rather beThan here in my room dreaming of you endlessly
Dreaming of you tonightTill tomorrow I'll be holding you tightAnd there's nowhere in the world I'd rather beThan here in my roomI'll be dreaming of you tonightEndlesslyAnd I'll be holding you tightDreaming...with you...tonight!

If I Let You Go

Day after day
Time pass away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows
I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find


The courage is to show
To letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinkin' about
Takin' the easy way out


But if i let you go
I will never know
Ahat my life would be
Holding you close to me
Will i ever see
You smiling back at me
Oh yeah
How will i know
If i let you go


Night after night
I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
It's such a shame
We're worlds apart


I'm to shy to ask
I'm to proud to lose
But sooner or later i've gotta choose
And once again
I'm thinkin' about
Taking the easy way out


But if i let you go
I will never know
What my life would be
Holding you close to me
Will i ever see
You smiling back at me
Oh yeah
How will i know
If i let you go

Listed

Seven things that will scare me:
Darkness
My parents (when they are very disappointed in me)
COCKROACHES
Being rejected
Food allegy
Of being Fat
Death of loved ones


Seven things I like the most:
My close friends
My family
Running
Hugging
Listening to music (includes singing)
Animals~!~!~!
Falling in love

Seven most important things in my room/ apartment:
Computer
Mobile phone
Bed
Bolster
Pillow
Brother
Photo Albums

Seven random facts abt me:
I once painted all my toenails blue!! (Eww rite?)
I have a mole on my right upper arm
I have brownish eyes
I'm baker beck!
When I'm stressed, I can start doing all sorts of crazy things. lol..
I laugh super loudly..it'll probably make most babies cry.. hehe
I have very small handwriting...usually...lol


Seven things I can do:
Run 2.4km under 11min. (Any guys out there jealous? Lol.)
Sing...though not very well
I can make a pop-up card
Roll my tongue
Cross eye..(dots rite?)
Sneeze non-stop for one minute when I have flu
Be a very good listener...

Seven things I can't do:
Fly
Be a model
Grow any taller
Leave my friends in the lurch
Break a promise ( or I try not to)
Not love my family
Not fall in love

Seven words/phrases I say the most:
Sheesh
Oh man...
Can you just die?
Then?
What the hell?
Err...
Go and die la..

Seven favourite celebrities:
Hugh Jackman
Kate Beckinsale
Bae Yong Jun
Kevin Richardson
Sandra Bullock
Hugh Grant
Viggo Mortensen

Seven people I would love to do this:
Xintian
Siqian
David
Janna
Kim
Sam
Khai
More than seven people actually...EVERYONE WHO READS THIS!!

Gonna forget all my complaints now! Have to start concentrating seriously for A levels. No one's effort but my own. The dream of becoming a vet should be my sole motivation in driving myself forward to this. Yep! Jiayou everyone taking A levels, o levels etc! Lol..

I'm suddenly reminded of Pre-U Seminar again. Sigh....really miss those few five days. Short but filled with so many memories...wonderful memories. I miss group 3! I miss someone... Haha. Perhaps I might organise an outing again after the A levels. That's another month plus away. Goodness...I'm just reminded of how close the A levels are again. Lol.

Ever had the feeling when seeing someone just makes your heart flutter a little? It may not even be seeing the person in real. Like a pic...or through SMS. Haha...and it's not just one. Lol. Oh well. But I don't seriously like anyone at the moment. *shrugs* Definitely not ready for any committment. Lol.

Gonna study again soon... Goal for A levels: AAAAA2... lol. Possible?? I believe so... :)

I know you are disappointed in me. I can't help being so bloody stupid can I? Maybe I've got some mutated gene somewhere, all I know is that I'm not as smart as you. At least praise me for a bit of achievement will you? Am I supposed to be motivated by that utter lack of confidence you have in me???? I've tried very hard already. What you want me to do? Damn it man. Even my teacher of less than two years has more faith in me. Some encouragement man!! Do you even leave some for me somewhere? Don't get me wrong. I know you love me. I know you've done a lot for me already. It's just I can't live up to your expectations now can I? I'm sorry I can't repay you the things you've done for me. Maybe I'm just a blabbering fool. Just whatever.

Damn...something is wrong with me. I'm just hurting everyone around me. Why?

A level stress? Perhaps. But I don't see it affecting everyone else...actually I don't really think it's about the exams. Something is just happening...and I can't help it.

Ruining my mood like terrorists. Geez... results are crappy too. Oh well. Need to just sit back and rethink my life.

Damn it la....my computer is being stupid again. The Bloody keyboard is not responding again! And there's like no bloody reason at all! Sometimes it works ok for the whole day...till I switch off the computer and switch it on again...then the keyboard ain't working anymore! *rolls eyes* Damn idiotic la. There's nothing I can do! I tried changing the keyboard but it doesn't work! Mighty pissed off now. Heck la. I'm gonna save up for my own new computer. Don't care if it takes me years. Shall go work in the hols anyway. Bloody hell man. And I just spent so much for the ink cartridges and everything. Stupid computer. Problematic piece of shit la. Using my dad's com now. And he accuses me of doing something to the com..that's why keyboard ain't working. But how can it be me when sometimes the keyboard works and most of the time it doesn't?

Grr...

Sorry for the profanities today. :S

*screams and pulls out hair*

Take The quiz yourself

I'm such an anime freak now~! Haha... not that my studies are affected by it too much. I've decided I'm gonna save up to get comics! Woot~ And preferably English comics...as in Jap comics re-written in English. Heh. I can't comprehend Chinese for nuts. Akbar's being really nice! He offered to burn for me Flame of Recca, Samurai X and Legend of the Condor Heroes anime. Said he'll get Flame of Recca and Condor Heroes by the time prelims is over. Woot~! Haha...I'll be saving up to get Condor Heroes Comics, Celestrial Zone part 1 and 2 and probably fruit basket. Yeah~! But it'll take me quite some time. Pretty much broke. And I'm also saving up for an MP3...oh what a drag. Makes me wish I had Bill Gates for an uncle or something. Lol.

Studies...Math and Chem are pretty ok. Think I might be able to scrap an A for them. Not too sure about physics...and even worse for bio...haiz...

Recognising a stroke

Got this is in my email...thought it's kinda cool...

Recognising a Stroke

Susie stumbled and fell. Her friend, Sherry, saw this happen. Being very concerned, she had the insight to ask Susie the 3 questions below. Suzie failed all three test-questions, so 995 was called. Even though she had normal blood pressure readings and did not appear to Be suffering a stroke (she could converse to some extent with the Paramedics) they took her to the hospital right away. Susie suffered brain damage after a massive stroke, but is recouping at an incredible pace.

A stroke occurs when oxygen fails to reach some part of the brain. Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim will ( - WILL! -) suffer brain damage if people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke, and take action.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking the victim three simple questions: 1. Ask the individual to SMILE.
2. Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
3. Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE coherently (e.g. "It is a sunny day today").

If he or she has trouble with ANY of these tasks, call 995 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. After discovering that a group of non-medical volunteers could identify facial weakness / arm weakness / and speech problems, researchers now urge the general public to learn the three questions. They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke Association's annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage.

Raining heavily...it just has a way of ruining things doesn't it? Was on the way to this Scholar's choice seminar. Walking to the interchange...then it started pouring cats and dogs..and mice and cows and donkeys...Haha...totally changed my mind about going. After all, I hadn't really felt like attending anyway. The rain just weakened my resolve to go. I'm more interested in Australian Universities. This seminar offered those from UK and US. The only reason I wanted to attend was because it might give me more ideas as to what other career options I might choose...and perhaps plus the fact it's free. Wahaha...cheapo Singaporean huh?

Less than 100 days left to A levels. I'm terrified I won't perform up to expectations. Apparently my name is on the list that is sent to all the teachers - stating the names of students who didn't perform up to expectations. Well they were pretty much shocked to see one name from 04S02...REBECCA TAN. Lol. Oh well.

Anyway, David asked Ms Aw during chem lesson if she had marked the transition metals test papers yet. She said that she only marked the MCQ section. The average was about 7. I thought that well, at least it's a pass isn't it? Then David asked what was the highest.
Ms Aw: I think Teck hean...with a 8 or 9....wait...I think someone got full marks. David, I think it's you leh...

Crap!!! Haha... I was indignant! Lol. Was competing with David for this test you see. So I asked Ms Aw if she remembered how much I got.
Ms Aw: I can't remember leh...
David: Is it 11?
Ms Aw: Oh yar! I think so leh...

Man...David was so gleeful. Lol. Never mind... still got the open-ended part. *cross fingers*

I am so damn scared. Very very very scared.

What if I can't make it? I seriously don't know.

I'm afraid it's too late. Everyone expects a lot from me. I guess I have the ability somewhere...but...what if?

Don't know. Just study first.

Pray.

Sigh. Damn tired now. Like really super tired. Haha...probably due to a lack of sleep. I've been waking up at 3am during the weekdays, and sleeping around 11 plus each night. I get more sleep during the weekends of coz. Wouldn't torture myself so much...but hey, I work a lot better in the wee hours of the morning, as in the period after waking up, not before. Perhaps I should do the same during the weekends too. Need to do major mugging now that I only have about 90 days left to A levels.

I can't seem to be able to save money! Sigh...spend spend spend. No matter how hard I try to save...there always seem to be something I need to pay for - class funds, prom, presents...sigh. Damn broke. I hate spending so much like this. I want to save up for my mp3! Looks like that will never happen. No matter...I can still use my discman.

NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT! Faty old me. Shorty old me. Haha...how does one lose weight? I've got tons of spare tires. Need to rid myself of them. Oh well. Time to get back to more important business for now...mugging...

I'm getting very tired lately...not that I'm burdened with tons of work or anything...I just can't seem to find the energy. I'm kinda like always lagging behind or something. Maybe it's because I'm eating lesser in school now. Pretty cleared out this month so I've gotta save up a bit. Hardly have any cash left for meals in school so I either wait till I get home to eat, or I bring food from home. And for those who know me...I can't help but look longing at those lovely warm bowls of soup or steaming hot plates of rice my friends eat. Lol. Oh well. I can learn to live with it.

:(

I broke the ring that Desmond and David gave me as a souvenir from Australia!!! :( I'm terribly upset...I can't believe I spoilt something that someone gave to me!! And that was a really nice ring too...it's made of iron ore. I guess that was why it broke so easily when I accidentally dropped it. Well actually it slid off my fingers coz the ring was a little big. AHHH!! Sigh...I saved the pieces though...*sobs*

I think I suffer from Obsessive-Compulsive behaviour...and I think it's getting steadily worse. I don't know what's wrong with me really. I haven't been truly myself recently, or rather, I'm becoming a much-too-extreme version of myself. Bad...I don't really know how to describe it. I can just feel it I guess. *shrugs*

My mid year results were pretty bad. As expected anyway...considering the lack of work I did during the June hols. Haha...don't know what came over me. Oh well...anyway, considering my O grade in my physics paper, I naturally assumed I'd be down for the remedial...but today the teacher announced that only one guy in my class was down for it! After the lesson, I asked why I wasn't in. He said, "Physics remedial is for those who need to be pushed. You need to be pushed meh? Don't need right? But if I see that you don't deserve this privilege, I'll whip you ar!" LOL! Surprised as I was, I'm super pleased! Coz physics remedial is held during my short day...giving me a break of 3 hours before the remedial starts...Lol....thank my lucky stars!...well, maybe except for the ring.

My dad is finally coming home today! He's been in Vietnam for the last five days...and he's finally coming home! :D His flight is coming in at 9.45pm and we're gonna pick him up! Yeah~! I miss my dad so much manz. Absense makes the heart grow fonder. It's separations like these that make you cherish your relationships more. That is if you have a good relationship with them in the first place I guess? I know 5 days isn't exactly a long time...but hey, I'm a sentimental freak...the separation period for the 'I-miss-you' feeling to occur is decreased by at least 10 times. Lol.

Time to study now~! Mugger beck...hehe...

Zoo outing~

I had a zoo outing with Group 3 today! Ok, maybe not the whole group, just Weijie, Pauling, Weishan, Nafeeza, Hafizah and Chris Fok. Haha...not a whole lot of people, but hey, we still had fun! Tons of it~ :p

Well, I woke up late. Supposed to meet the rest at 10am at CCK control station but I overslept! Wouldn't even have woken up if not for Mark messaging me at 9.45am. Yep, that's the time I woke up. Horrible of me right? Goodness...I can't believe myself either. One of the rare times I actually oversleep...and of all days to do it too! Oh well, maybe it's because I was having this cool dream of this particular horse. It was magnificent I tell ya! A huge BLACK STALLION. Totally gorgeous! And it's so smart! When I want to get on, I'd only have to tell him so and he'd kneel down for me to go up! Haha...weird dream really. I was supposed to do some quest or something and I rode the horse all the way to wherever I was supposed to go...and it even climbed the stairs and stuff! Really cool! Man I so wanna learn to horse-ride; I did say I would after A levels...that's like so late! I wanna learn it now! Haha...but no time la. I haven't been studying as well as I ought to already. Sigh...I love horses...

Anyway, I met the rest at the zoo instead. Got them to go there first to Nafeeza who was heading there straight. Didn't want her to wait there by herself when it's my fault I overslept. Haha...well, we kinda just walked through the whole zoo area. We saw loads of animals! The sunbear, camels, maned wolf, polar bear...just to name a few. We even went to see the wild dogs....Weijie was so funny! Just because of the 'dog' part...he was terrified of seeing them! And they were like in such a great distance away...lolx. Damn cute. Then again, he agreed in the end that the wild dogs didn't really seem like dogs, probably due to their multi-coloured coat. Lol.

I so love the wild cats area too! Haha...have a thing for the big cats. I think they're really beautiful. All the intricate designs of their lovely coats. Haha...and we heard the roar of the lion! Damn loud! Haha...do you know that a lion's roar can heard for a 8km radius? Fortunately for my ears, the Alpha male didn't perform his best roar today...or I'll be deaf. Haha...and it was a loud and hallow-sounding roar nonetheless. Awesome!

Ahh yes, the reptile garden! Nafeeza's favourite place. Don't ask me why she has a fetish for snakes. Lol...but don't get me wrong. I think they're splendish creatures - they just aren't my favourites that's all. Heh. Well, it was here that Nafeeza had to leave. Her grandma is ill so she couldn't stay any longer. Quite sad...oh wellz, hope her grandma is fine though. :)

We had lunch next...at KFC at this children's play area...it was really crowded! Probably because it was lunch time. Lol. Had a short lunch and we were off again. This time, Hafizah had to leave...so it was just 5 of us left. Goodness...seems pretty little doesn't it? But number is not a factor in having fun right? Hehe...anyway, let me tell you two traumatic experience of mine: first, I was walking towards the play area when suddenly the girls started squealing and shrieking. I stood rock-still and anxiously asked what was wrong...the guys just stood there and gaped. Dots. Suddenly I felt something thrashing about my leg and when I looked down, I saw a SNAKE. I was stepping on its step and so it couldn't escape! I gave a shriek and jumped away, and hid behind Weishan....LOL! It wasn't that I was terrified of the snake...but it did give me quite a huge shock! It's just a small snake actually. Those kind of grass snake or garter snake I think. Poor thing...hope I didn't hurt it too bad...but considering my weight... :( Anyway, the next thing was that I was walking and chatting to Weishan and Pauling when suddenly this little girl in front of me suddenly yelled out, "LIZARD!" I gave a jump back and missed stepping on this baby monitor lizard by mere centimetres! Goodness....appears to me that I keep causing almost-deaths to innocent animals there...rather than appreciating them. Lol.

Another stop was the Animal Land. More like farmland to me...the animals there were all of the farm type - sheep, goats, pigs, cows, ponies...and HORSES! They're almost like that in my dream...just that they're brown instead of the black station I had. But they're magnificent nevertheless! I kept on trying to pet their flanks, necks, face...lol...even if I had to go through the bushes to do it. Hehe...I really LOVE horses to bits! Hehe...Oh, and there was the animal show! Weijie was so funny! He was so scared! Haha...I shall not say what...don't wanna embarrass him further. Lol...Anyway, the animal show was about three dogs: Charlie, Brandy and Major. Hehe.. two brother Border Collies and one Rough collie. Pretty! :) And way smart....Major could climb up to the roof of this wooden shed! It had to be at least 2 metres high...

We caught the last animal show...which was the sealion show. They're such intelligent creatures! Haha...never got a cue wrong at all. Such sleek animals! I really wanna know how they feel like though... and to end the whole show, this Alpha male sealion got the whole front row wet by splashing out lots of water out of the tank! Lol...we were sitting in the second row and got a little wet as well...though I must say it was way better than the first row...LMAO!

Met Mark in IKEA and we all had dinner there. After waiting ages to get a table...we finally settled down to eat at about 8.15pm. HaHa... Food at last! I was having a headache from the lack of glucose in my brain manz. The food is great as always...next time I have to go there with Mum, then I can get more food...Lol...since she will then pay. I'm dead broke manz...what with all the presents of the bday pple this month. Wahaha...we finally left the place at about 9 plus.

All I can say is that we truly did have a roving good time! Hehe...well, there's gonna be another outing next Sunday. We're gonna support Alvin's band performance at Botanic Gardens. Haha...at least we don't have to spend so much money this time. Heh.

Bored at home

Haha...I'm bored. Supposed to be studying my physics...but I've been at it for 2 hours...so I just thought I'd have a break. Feel like munching on something. Think I still have some chips in the fridge. Hehe...I'm gonna get really plump. Haven't been doing much exercises during the hols. Oh well. Napfa's over anyway. Time to concentrate on studies for now. CCA's are over...not really much of a necessity to keep fit for the time-being...except to look good for Prom. Haha...that can be dealt with later I expect.

Man, my BSB CD totally rocks! Been listening to it day-in-day-out. Wahaha... for all you non-BSB fans out there...you should at least check it sometime. The second and third song perhaps. They're really cool! I especially love the 3rd one - Crawling back to you. So romantic. Haha...it has a pretty catching chorus too~ Hmmm...thinking of writing story based on it. After mid years perhaps. Sigh...still can't get down to real mugging. The possibility of having to drop my bio doesn't even faze me at this point. Sigh. Well, things turn out the way they turn out. Eventually, if I really don't get to do my Vet degree...I'll probably do something about horse-riding!! Haha...gonna learn to horse-ride after A levels. I've always loved horses...just don't really have a chance to interact with them much. They're such beautiful creatures...

Haha...I don't know. I'll take any job that allows me to interact with animals. Zoo keeper maybe? Haha...we'll see. I've still got some time to think about it :)

Ooh...can't wait for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince to come out! Haha...my cousin ordered it. So I'm gonna have to wait for him(and his sister) to finish reading it before I can get a hold of it. Haha. I really like the Remus Lupin character. Notice I said CHARACTER, not ACTOR. Haha...den again, the actor does have a moustache and all...LOL. Kidding! But well, I might write a fanfic about him after the Harry Potter series is finished...that is, if he doesn't get killed during these last few books. Another fav of mine was also Sirius Black...till he got killed in the fifth book. Geez man. How could JK Rowling kill Harry Potter's Godfather? As if he doesn't have enough tragedy in his life already. Haha...I cried the first time I read that fifth book ya know? I was like' how could Sirius die??' Haha...poor Harry. Oh well. It's just a story but I still can get affected by it. Haha. I'm pathetic rite?

Here's the chorus of my fav song at present:

Crawling back to you -by BSB

Baby here I am
Banging on your front door
My pride spilled on the floor
My hands and knees are bruised
And I'm crawling back to you
Begging for a second chance
Are you gonna let me in
I was running from the truth
Now I'm crawling back to you...

AHHH!

Goodness...I've just finished watching Starwars 4,5 and6. Not one right after the other of coz. About one a day. Lol. All I can say that is I think 1,2 and 3 Rocks a lot more than the first trilogy. I think the first trilogy sucks. Lol. I'm a frank person. I really dunno how Starwars could have become famous on that. But then again, perhaps it's becoz it was made in the 80s and this is already the 20th century.

Btw, I think Ewan McGregor is absolutely charming! He's so cool! Haha... another one of my 'celebrities of the moment'. I think this further substantiates my friends' points that I love hairy men. Lol. Dunno about that. Just think I'm more taken to matured guys I think. I don't take to Hayden Christensen at all. In fact, for episode one, I think Liam Neeson (the one acting as Qui Gon Jinn) is attractive. Haha...and notice that episode is when Ewan hasn't had his beard grown yet. Lol. Oh well.

Btw, I just caught the teaser trailer for 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire'. My goodness, Hermione is positively gorgeous. Or should I say Emma Watson. She's obviously gonna be a knockout in the future man. For those who you who haven't seen her latest pix, check out the screenshots of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. You'll be blown away I tell ya. Haha...

Social Night

Calvin invited me to his NS company's Social Night as his date. Lol, felt quite weird really. Didn't know anyone there, so I was feeling more than a little awkward. The only person I knew was Calvin, and truthfully, there wasn't much I could talk to him about either. Heh. Well, my chances of knowing anyone was really rather low because they were mostly my seniors, like around 19 and above. Haha...yep, Calvin's my senior. Why else would he be in NS now otherwise? Haha...

The food wasn't as fantastic as it ought to be, so as Calvin and his friends anyway. Haha...I was fine with anything...not that I was full, but hey, one seldom gets full at these functions anyway. Anyway, the moment I reached Pines Country Club, my jaw more or less dropped. Everyone was wayyy overdressed! Or rather, perhaps I was underdressed...*sheepish* I was just wearing a long sleeve turtle-neck and a glittery black wrap-around skirt. The other gals were all wearing gowns and stuff. Woot~ And they had on MAKE UP. Goodness...they were so chio! I was like...oh boy... :p bet I embarrassed the crap out of Calvin. Before we went into the ballroom, Calvin had to first sign this white canvas. And before he could sign it...I was supposed to kiss it and leave a lipstick mark. I WASN'T EVEN WEARING LIPSTICK! Haha...we were standing there a long time wondering what to do, when Calvin decided to use some broken lipstick they had on hand, used his finger to apply it on his lips and kissed the canvas himself. Lol! Damn funny. In fact, many of the guys kissed the canvas for their dates. After all, many, like Calvin and myself, asked their friends to be their dates. I think only a third of the group were really in a relationship sort. Haha...

And guess what? I think the highlight of the entire event was this Malay guy proposing to his girlfriend! It was so romantic! He was actually performing a song on the guitar, after which he walked up to his girl and proposed! With a ring and flowers and all! DAMN ROMANTIC. I nearly cried I tell ya...lol. It was just way too touching. You could tell his girlfriend was extremely shocked as well. After she accepted, they headed to the dance floor for a dance...lol. So awwwwwww....

All in all actually...it had been a rather good experience really. :)

Love quotes

Haha...just some quotes about love that I thought were pretty nice...

*She loves him more than he will ever know, he loves her more than he will ever show*

*It's better to love someone you can't have then to have someone you can't love*

*I want to be happy knowing he is happy but how can I be happy knowing I am not the one making him smile?*

* It's hard to find the good in someone when you've already found the best in someone else.*

*When you said forever, you meant a few months. When I said forever, I meant every day until I died. When you said always, you meant until you couldn't handle it anymore. When I said always, I meant until time ended. When you said you loved me, you meant I was no different from any other girl. When I said I loved you, I meant I had never felt what I felt for you.*

A passing glance

He's so cute
I feel like a mute
When I see him
I's like I'm redeemed
From a stoic world
my life's a whirl
I feel giddy
Less my age, more kiddy
A breath-stoppping peep
I could almost weep
Reaching out
To touch the cloud
Only to fall back to dirt
Man I feel absurd
He's so hot
I'm way not
So I'm left alone to dance
When I just have of him a passing glance

Interesting day

Studied at JE library today. Reached about 10.10am. When I stepped into the library, I received an SMS, only to find it was from Weijie and he said, "Haha not bad sia...Green shirt." Lol. I was wearing my ODAC jersey...hehe. I guess it is a LITTLE bright. Anyway, I passed him the CD consisting of the pre-u seminar photos. He can't downlaod it from the website in which I uploaded them to, coz his com has only a crappy 56k connection. Lol! No offence WJ...hehe.

Khai joined me later at around 11am. We studied (actually we talked more than we studied...tsktsk!) till around 2.30pm before Khai went for lunch and was more or less replaced by Mark who decided to join me in studying. Lol. Guess what? He stays at Bishan and he came ALL the way to dear little Jurong to study. Wahaha...thanks for accompanying me Mark! Hey at least I'm appreciative ok? Haha...but I must admit he was a mad distraction! Alamakz...kept making me laugh like crazy! How is one ever to study like that? I didn't cover as much as I had hoped to...maybe coz the stupid security chased all the people studying away and told us we were only to use the top floor. This is the first time this hols it has happened. All along I've been studying at the same area with no problem at all! Damn...some people must have been complaining. Tsk. Well, the 4th floor isn't as conducive a place to study. It's a little noisy for one thing...and there're no tables to sit down properly and concentrate on notes in front of you. Haha. That's how I ended up talking more to Mark than studying.

After studying, Weijie and his gf, Yin Mei joined us for dinner. Haha. Since it was more or less their area, Mark and I let them choose the place for our dinner. We had our meal at this coffee shop near the library and JEC. Not a bad dinner...though I couldn't finish my Holkkien Noodles. Well, I don't normally eat so much I guess. The eating part was a rather quiet affair, though Mark did tease WJ a lot. Lol. In fact, Mark teased WJ throughout the whole dinner. Period. Lol! But it did make things a little more comfortable. Mark and I had felt a little bright having dinner with WJ and his gf...Haha. Yin Mei was so quiet! I was trying to make conversation with spastic questions like 'What sec/pri school were you from?' and 'What CCA are you from?' Haha...quite pathetic really. One of the rare times I don't know how to make fruitful conversation. Heh. The entire dinner lasted till about 8pm. Then I had to leave because I was catching a 9.30pm movie with my brother and cousin at Tiong Bahru Plaza. We didn't exactly leave immediately though. Mark wanted to get some straws from all the fast food outlets and we all accompanied him. In fact, I had to help him get some. Haha...so embarrassing manz...

Watched Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith. I think it was really nice! Well, I don't understand why many of my friends think it isn't good. I find the plot pretty catchable and the fighting scenes are good! I love all the action and effects. I guess the only bad thing about the movie was the queen. Can't recall her name - haha, my Star Wars knowledge isn't very good yet. I think her acting was rather bad this time round. There were certain scenes whereby she was supposed to say something really dramatic, which were meant to give a startling finish to a scene. But to put it bluntly, I think she screwed those scenes up. Haha, guess she can't act role of the dainty and poor little lost wife very well.

All, I'm dead tired. Only had 3 hours of sleep the night before. This feels like Pre-U seminar! Haha!

Mugger Maniac

Well, it's now time for me to start mugging again. I've been slacking for the past 3 days. Time to get back into focus and start my studying again. Sigh...been so off lately. Don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. Not normally like that. Going to JE library now...

Ting hai ku de shen ying...

Odac Outing!

Haha...had dinner with my Odacians just now. Wasn't supposed to leave so early, but Serena had to go so I accompany her lo. Haha...don't worry, it's not your fault, Serena. Haha...not as many people turned up as I expected, but it was a substantial number nevertheless.

We were debating what to eat for an extremely long time...all because we had to have halal food. Lol! Kidding Danial! We ended up at Swensen's in the end...and I just had that yesterday. Oh well. Swensen's really doesn't have much 'dinner food' so to speak. Next time I'll just go there for the ice cream. Heh.

I feel so silly...
And yes, it has happened again...
History is about to repeat itself
Almost...
I shan't make the same mistake.

Sigh...I'm feeling a little upset. Can't say why. Haha...just look at my previous entry. It's kinda obvious. Kinda stupid, I know. It feels so childish. Such an utter lack of sophistication. No chance at all...

It's true

It's true
I might not have known you long
But what I feel is already pretty strong

It's true
Your eyes speak worlds to me
My heart flutters till it almost breaks free

It's true
Each time I see you
My sky turns a richer shade of blue

It's true
When you speak
I need a lot of effort to utter more than just a squeak

It's true
Every time you are near
My heart beats so loudly that you might hear it, I fear

It's true
Though you might already be taken
This crush of mine cannot be shaken

It's true
I'm starting to fall for you more everyday
But there's nothing I can do or even say

It's true
I think of you most of the time
But I know you'll never be mine

Gosh~ This has been a truly memorable outing! Well, nothing truly fantastic happened, but I must say it had held moments that I would forever cherish. Hopefully this would be the first outing of plenty! :)

Well, many of us were late for the 3pm meeting time...as usual for many students nowadays, isn't it? The only early ones were Alex, Lester and Junhao. Hehe. I'm ashamed to say I'm as guilty as charged. :p Though as compared to the rest, I'm already one of the earlier ones! Lolx. What can I say? Mark was the latest...tsktsk. It was rather funny really. Anyway, we watched 'Unleashed' at Lido Cinema. We originally wanted to catch 'Mr & Mrs Smith' but unfortunately it was full-house...meaning that there was only the front row seats left. No way am I gonna pay $9.50 for front row cinema seats! Haha...

Though the ending was a little abrupt, I still found the movie pretty enjoyable. Jet Li's stunts were fantastic! Haha...maybe it was even nicer to watch than Jackie Chan's (is that even possible?) Lol. I found it rather tragic the way his mother died...murder in cold blood. Goodness. To think he was made to be brainwashed till he could not even remember anything in his past. Thank goodness he found the good people. Haha...oh well, it's just a movie after all.

After the movie, we headed down to Borders bookshop for a bit, because we were planning to eat Sakae Sushi at Wheelock Place and still had a few people to wait for. Well, once we had everyone and was going to the place, we saw a looooong queue. Yup, back to the old drawing board! We comtemplated for the longest time on what and where to eat! And the thing is that we kept changing our minds! One moment we wanted to go Suntec, the next we wanted to get takeaways and eat at the Esplanade. Wei Jie had given his number to the guy at Seoul Gardens to contact us of seats for 12 before we decided to head to Crystal Jade instead. Haha...well the actual happenings aren't as direct as this. I almost had a headache from the hesitations! Thankfully, while waiting for a table at Crystal Jade, the person at Seoul Gardens called to inform us of seats! We rushed up immediately, only to find that the seats were actually split. 8 at one table and 4 at another quite a distance away. So we couldn't communicate already! HAha... oh well. I felt a little disappointed at the table arrangements though...but what can I say? Wei Shan, Yinhong, Junhao and Wei Jie sat at the table for 4 and the rest of us sat at the one for 8. Goodness, we were the latest to leave...just about 5 minutes before they closed! Haha...such brats we were.

We didn't exactly leave immediately for home after the dinner. Walked around a bit. Chatted for a bit. All in good fun~ I even went around beating Mark up for a while. Lol. He's so funny. Man I do love my Group 3 peeps! Too bad the whole group couldn't turn up. Next time I'll plan at another venue. Orchard is just too crowded for such a large group. Yep. Perhaps a park would be good. Fly kite! *grins* I think my group will kill me. Haha...but I do so want to dance the Indian JJ mass dance! I'm sure Naf wants to too! Man I can't wait! But for now, I have to mug. To all the other j2s...you better mug too! Lol. Let me specifically mention a particular JJ J2 who's in group 3 as well. Lol...your mid year's earlier than mine. Better start mugging already! Hehe...jiayou!

So excited! Today is the day...

Haha...Well, just went jogging with my bro this morning. Hee. Gonna do some studying soon...after that... HEEEEEEEEEEEEE!:p

Haha...third day studying. Not too bad I guess. Went to school instead of Jurong East Library today, cause I had to get some stuffs from Teck Hean. Haha...accomplished lesser than I ought to...but doesn't matter since I was able to ask Teck Hean a lot of questions that I wouldn't have known how to answer on my own. Heh. The good thing about studying with someone who knows more than you.

Yeah~! Tomorrow I'm gonna have my group 3 outing! So darn excited! Hmmm... about 17 more hours. Heee.... can't wait to see everyone again! :) It's been a looong time..to me that is. Heehee.

Woot~! I spent the entire day in Jurong East Library studying. Not bad I think. Managed to complete what I need to do today. For those who have seen the study plan I've made...you know what I mean. LOl. Khai joined me from about 11.30am to about 2.45pm. A fraction of the time I stayed there. :p It was sooooooooooooooo freezing cold! I wore long sleeves AND jacket...and I was still freezing. Heh. My fats not working sia. So much of it and it's still not keeping me warm. Hehe.

Man I'm feeling quite happy now. Dunno why. No reason also. Maybe it's because I managed to achieve the things I set myself to do. Hee. Can't wait for Sat!

"Flying Without Wings"

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So, impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place

It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
Cos you're my special thingI'm flying without wings

And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

What does it mean to fall in love with someone? What is love anyway? It's a very complex emotion isn't it? People say that you can't possibly know what real love is at my age. But hey, does it mean you know what love really is only when you are an adult? Does a mere few year make all the difference? I think love comes to you when the time is ripe. Age doesn't play a part in it...although you probably ought to have a certain level of maturity in handling such a complicated feeling.

Whenever we have a boyfriend or girlfriend at our age, people tend to tink it's just 'puppylove' or that it's probably just an 'infatuation'. Why? There have been people who marry their childhood sweethearts. So why make the sterotype that anyone having a relationship at their teenage years wouldn't last?

It's untiring how the Asian mentality can still be so narrow despite years of westernization. Oh well...love isn't coming to me now anyway. Concentrate on the approaching A levels first I guess. It's gonna be a huge marking point in my life. Love can wait...right? Why is it that everytime I like someone, he's not available? I'm not talking about little crushes...not that I have a lot of them anyway. I'm referring to really liking someone. That has only happened to me once before...and now again...though for the present one, I'm not of what it is yet. I can't help it. Before I realised he's already taken, I'm smittened...terribly smittened. I guess the good ones are always the first to be taken. *shrugs*

Pre U Sem rocks!

Oh man...I so don't regret going to Pre-U sem! It's like the coolest thing that happened to me this year. To think I was a little skeptical about going at first, that and the increasing reluctance to go due to the overwhelming amount of work and studying I had to do. But...now I have no regrets. The 5 day camp is worth almost anything. I've made friends in these short 5 days better than I could have in months in the same school or something. I love my group! We may not have been as loud as a few of the other groups, but hey, we still rock~! My SLOs were fantastic! Wei Jie, PauLing and Hafizah...I miss you guys like crazy already! And to my dear beloved group 3, you guys are the ones who allowed to enjoy my stay at pre-u camp. Cheers people!

I won't be talking much about the camp here, since after all, I've written the bulk of it in my own diary...and that's where it matters the most.

Why do the good ones always go first? Why are the good ones always taken? When is it my turn?

Had physics lesson with Mr Loo and some of the pre-u seminar peeps from 9am to 11am. On my way home, I was reading in the bus...and missed my stop again. Oh well...surprisingly I didn't sweat under the blistering heat while walking back to the right stop.

Went shopping with Mum in the afternoon for some pre-u sem stuff too. Mainly my clogg(is it spelt like that?) shoes actually...the rest were just bought simply becoz we were shopping. Lol. Oh well. I enjoy shopping with mum...not just because she pays for everything :p but also because I finally can spend some time with her, and not be disrupted by work, whether it's hers or mine.

In the food paradise in Ngee Ann City, I saw this really good-looking caucasian. Lol. Reminds me of Kevin Richardson perhaps...which is why I find him dashing. Mum didn't quite agree with my taste, but then again, we never did have the same taste in men. Lol. The guy saw my mum looking at him and he had this 'what?' look on his face. So cute~ But he has a pretty girlfriend with him la. Lol....

Hmmm...my friends tell me that I've changed. I don't know...have I? I never realised. They say I sometimes have this blank/faraway look on my face and when they try to get my attention, I don't answer. Strange. I don't recall any of that. I'm told that I'm different from before...and it's not a good change either. Tell me where have I gone wrong... is it because I'm too busy all the time? Perhaps I should have stayed in SAJC instead of transferring back to PJC. Too late for that anyway. Am I really crazier than before? Do I seem even more stressed up now? Perhaps it's because of the appraoching A levels. I don't know. I worry for my future. I'm afraid things won't turn out the way I want it to. I want a constant in my life...and so far...nothing has been constant...except change...