dreams

A childhood dream that will never be...

Feeling so sian today. One of those things that you just shouldn't dwell too much on. Oh well. Gonna be on course for the next two days. Guess it will be a good chance to catch up on some work... Setting papers for example. Haha how mean should i be to my kids? Time to do some quiet time. That's usually the best thing to do... Especially in such cases.. Not that it isn't good to do it in other cases. Lol.

Lost...and Gain

It's times like this when you realise what it means to really trust God.
Trusting God is not about getting what you want, but really... more about getting what you truly need again.

It's been a hard lesson. And yet, I guess what I have come to gain is intrinsically so much more.
Of course somewhere there, I still think about what I've lost. But that will pass. It always has.

To live is Christ. To die is gain.
I've lost what I didn't need to gain what is important.

Why Girls love twilight

I suddenly remembered a conversation I had with my brother earlier this week when my family watched Breaking Dawn part 1 together. Basically, as the title says - Why Girls love twilight.

Ok. Maybe love is too strong a word. But since the main fan base are typically teens and tweens, I can only assume it is due to the perfect guy of most girls' fantasies existing in the depths of that book.

Like seriously, which guy now would:

1. love a girl so much that he was willing to die for her (don't think about the stalking part. lol)

2. want to get married before making out/doing the dirty deed with her

3. refuse to have sex a second time after seeing the few bruises the girl had DESPITE the girl insisting that it was nothing and that she most certainly enjoyed the deed

4. be the perfect gentleman to the girl, even if the girl displayed blatant affection for another guy (LOL)

5. allow said guy to hug the girl because he could keep her warm

6. rich, know a million languages, is in almost every way an eligible bachelor (forget the fact that it's a vamp), and yet have eyes only for the girl

no such guys exist. and in fact, no guy with any sense of self-respect should tolerate a girl who shows such open affections for another. ha ha. but the point remains that edward cullen epitomizes most girls' dream guy.

point to note: i'm sooooooo not talking about robert pattinson. he's erm...ugly :p

This is becoming a place where I come to write only when I don't know how to say it.

It wasn't a nice feeling to say the least. Maybe like seeing your favourite meal coming towards you and then seeing it being placed in front of the person next to you.

Got me thinking about my own shortcomings. Oh well.

I know it was nothing. But I can't help it. And I couldn't help feeling a tad surprised when it happened.

Anyway.

I guess I am tired. I can't believe I'm still awake. Probably more upset than I thought. Haha. Oh well.

Expenses

I've been keeping track of my expenditures for the past 10months, consistently accounting for almost every dollar and cent in my excel sheet. For the past 4 months, I've been spending beyond the 20% of my salary that I've set myself to save for every month.

Terrible.

Too many birthday presents. Or expensive presents for that matter.

Need to curb my spending. Or up my salary. Taking that into account, I had decided to go for the BASF kid's lab part time job. Working for 5.5 days. 550 bucks. Not too bad. And just last night, my tuition kid's mother asked me if I could do an extra day of tuition per week. Another 270 more per month for the next 4 months. Not too bad either.

These all adds up to 1630 in total. Is it worth the time spent? That is, losing 5.5 days of my precious hols now, and whining about having to spend time going for tuition in the next 4 months?

It just might be. Except that I may curb the tuition a little when sch reopens again.

Anyway I'm not a person who does well doing nothing at home. I need more friends with whom I can do random spontaneous outings with. But then, this problem is probably due to the fact that I'm too free now. Heh.

I will whine about not having free time soon enough! :p

Boyce Avenue - Fireworks

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

A thought to end the night

LONELINESS YOUR SILENT WHISPER
FILLS A RIVER OF TEARS
THROUGH THE NIGHT
MEMORY YOU NEVER LET ME CRY
AND HEAR, YOU NEVER SAID GOOD-BYE
SOMETIMES OUR TEARS BLINDED THE LOVE
WE LOST OUR DREAMS ALONG THE WAY
BUT I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D TRADE YOUR SOUL TO THE FATES
NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D LEAVE ME ALONE

TIME THROUGH THE RAIN HAS SET ME FREE
SANDS OF TIME WILL KEEP YOUR MEMORY
LOVE EVERLASTING FADES AWAY
ALIVE WITHIN YOUR BEATLESS HEART
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE
DRY YOUR TEARS WITH LOVE

It might just be possible that I'm expecting too much...