HAPPY NEW YEAR - 2008

To all readers of my humble blog My family and I would like to wish you a very, very Happy New Year. I sincerely hope that 2007 has been a good year to you and may 2008 bring better tidings.

My wish is that 2008 not only be a new year but a new beginning for me, my family, my friends and most of all my country. If I had been overly bold and had offended those I shouldn't have then I seek their forgiveness. Let me be frank, to the minders of the country, I had been consciously bold in criticising them but I am not apologising because you reap what you sow.

PEACE TO THE WORLD AND PEACE TO US ALL

MP145

As I had blogged a while ago that my PIXMA iP1000 died a natural death so last week I went scouting for a cheap printer but with copy and scan features. Finally I got one that matched my budget, its a Canon PIXMA MP145. I paid RM280.00. Do you think I was had? If it is cheaper elsewhere please tell me.

Anyway, I was trying the scan feature and scanned this photo taken on the 11th November 1979. You see during my time, a bride is not allowed to even smile. Actually, the groom is also not supposed to do so but I am one who don't care much for convention. In fact, I did not even perform the berinai ceremony. It was supposed to be almost compulsory but I put my foot down. No berinai for me. In the end they gave in. Call me stubborn but I don't see any reason why I should do it.

This post is just to show a wedding photo of mine taken 28 years ago. I had a hard time persuading my missus to blog this photo. In the end she gave in.

Shah and Kerp, bila lagi?

What Do I Do?

A few days ago a childhood friend Ravi called. I didn't recognise his voice at first. He is now a policeman in Penang. He called to inform that the gang is to organise a reunion meeting in another friend's house, Ah Hin. Besides the two of them others, Ah Bin, Lawrence, Franco, Pete Black, Vincent and even Ah Lai, another doyok (police) from Sarawak is attending. They requested my presence.

I said I'll try to make it but I was actually salivating at the prospect of meeting so many old friends. If my eldest brother had been alive, he would surely agree to go. My second brother too, had he not recently moved to Johore, would definitely have agreed to attend.

Of course knowing them, there would be plenty of beer to go round. I am a different man now. I have stopped taking alcoholic for 26 years come this 31st, but the joy of meeting old friends is just too inviting. Let them drink all they want and let me be the only sober one around but to pass this reunion, I don't think so.

I was ready this morning to go to BM. My plan was to go to my late brother's house, have lunch there, go for the gathering at 6.00 and excuse myself at 10.00pm so that I would be in time for the Man Utd game at 11.00. As the rest were getting ready, I got a call from Ravi.

The gathering is off. Ah Hin, our host, is not in the right frame of mind. Yesterday, his doctor told him that a part of his lower limb might have to be amputated due to diabetes. It came as a shock to him and he is today making his way to KL to get another opinion. I am sad to hear of such a devastating news. If it is devastating to me, just imagine how he would have felt. I can imagine him feeling that the whole sky has just crumbled and engulfed him, suffocating him with fear. Then I heard another news which I was not ready for. Christie just had his toe amputated, victim of the same dreaded disease.

Suddenly, missing the gathering is no longer the issue. I felt so bad for my friends especially Ah Hin whom I heard is so down. I am just thinking of the right words to say to him. I don't know how he would take it. Do I call, or do I just send a message and see his reaction. If its quite okay I'll follow it with a call, but if he sounds dejected, then maybe another day.

UPDATE:
I made the decision to call him and he indeed sound worried but he was not truly down. Ravi gave me the wrong info. It is not diabetes. Apparently there is a blockage leading to his toe and it has been going on for a long time. His toe has been deprived of proper supply and may have to be amputated. Tomorrow he is going to see another specialist and, if need be, has his toe removed.
I hope I do not sound happy but luckily it is only the toe and not the whole foot.

Yusoff Chong impersonating Samy Vellu

For those who have not seen this before, enjoy.

Rare Earth with Peter Rivera - Hey Big Brother Live 1974

I was at Shah Cakapaje's blog when I was taken aback by his latest entry. It was "I Just Want To Celebrate" by Rare Earth. It was just imeem so no videos. Rare Earth was one of my favourites. Besides the song mentioned above two more struck me immediately: 'Get Ready' and Hey Big Brother. So enjoy this.

Amanat Ali - Hungama

Some may think what's wrong with this old man. I guess it comes with age, you mellow.

This Amanat Ali somehow haunts me with his melodious voice especially when its the classics that he treats.

For a young man to sing the classics is rare but to be good at it, is even rarer.

Now we know where the Malay Ghazal comes from.

No I am not promoting Hindi songs, I just love good sincere singing. I love singing that touches my heart and brings tears to my eyes.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

To all my Christian friends and to all Christian bloggers do have a Merry Christmas. To all others enjoy the holidays and if you are hitting the road, PANDU CERMAT JIWA SELAMAT.

Ho, Ho, Ho

Perseverance

Have you been in a situation where you got to the airport a few hours early and found out that all tickets are booked and got your name on number 26 in the waiting list? Well, I experienced it and believe me or not, I managed to get a seat on the flight.

It was the 21st of August 1980 and at about 8.00pm I made my way to the public phone opposite a restaurant next to Sekolah Menengah Tok Janggut in Pasir Puteh Kelantan. The restaurant was about 400 meters from my house. It was a Thursday. A week earlier, I left my wife in Penang. She was very advanced in her pregnancy and since we decided that she should deliver in Penang, I left her there with a heavy heart.

As my 2nd brother realised that it was me on the phone, he congratulated me. He broke the news that I got a girl. No we didn't scan. I don't know if they had scanning then but if the did it must have been expensive and I surely couldn't have afford it. I was shocked. She was actually due in 2 weeks time. I broke down on the phone. I couldn't control the joy and the extreme loneliness. I wanted so very badly to be with them.

I walked home feeling happy, elated and missing my wife so much. I decided to go home the next day. Nothing could stop me. If I were to take a bus, the journey would be about 24 hours so I decided to fly. I don't have much money but nothing was going to stop me from rushing home to see my wife and daughter.

The next morning I was at the airport at about 9.00. As I got to the counter, I was told that all tickets were fully booked. The best they could do was to put me on waiting list. I asked what were my chances. They staff was very frank. He said that my chance was very slim since there were already 25 names before mine.

The flight was scheduled to depart Kota Bahru at 1.00pm and there I was sitting like a bloody fool at about 9.00, on number 26 in the waiting list and hopeful that I would be able to see my newborn girl and also hold my wife's hands in the afternoon.

After about 10 minutes of waiting, I went to the counter and asked about the possibility of getting a jump seat. The staff was friendly and told me politely that if I could produce a telegram proving an emergency, he could try to help me. He also said that 1 is reserved for VIPs only.

I told him my story but he said that he couldn't help me without the telegram. I did not sit but chose to stand near the counter. The staff asked me to sit because there was nothing he or I could do about the situation.

I took my seat but was at the counter about 10 minutes later. I think I must have gone to the counter about 10 times enquiring about whatever that crossed my mind. I guess he could see that I was genuinely desperate. He told me to sit and that he would do what ever he could to help me.

The moment check in time was up, the staff waved at me first. Although I was on number 26, he called me first since after check in time there were a few seats available. I paid the RM49 plus RM2 airport tax and thanked him profusely for helping me out. I was thinking, had I not bother him so much would he had given me the top priority that I got?

The flight took about 45 minutes and I was home before 3.00. When I got home, I headed straight to the maternity ward and was told told that my daughter had jaundice and was under UV in another room. I went to the room and was in tears as I saw her small 6lb oz body under the ultra violet light in a small crib. They had to cover up her eyes. I think it was about 3 days later that my daughter was released. I took a whole week off.

After about a week, I left Penang for Kelantan. My wife and little girl were to follow me there in about a week's time.

The following week I was at the airport waiting for them. The Boeing from Penang arrived but they were not among the passengers. I was shocked. I called my house but there was no answer. I called my SIL's house and no answer also.

Panicked, I went to the counter and enquired if there were any ticket to Penang available. This time there was plenty. I immediately bought one and in T-shirt and slippers, I boarded the same plane and was in Penang in no time.

When I reached home I realised that they couldn't make the trip because there was a flash flood. Two days later, I accompanied them personally to Kota Bahru.

Update
My alarm reminded me this morning that today 23-12-07 is the 3rd anniversary of my daughter's Akad Nikah. That 6lb 6oz jaundiced baby girl is today married 3 years.

Its Been A Long Time

I was wondering in cyber-space looking for a nice banner for my blog but can't find any that I could use. The ones I wanted to use were complicated for an ass like me so maybe next time, then my gmail alerted me to an incoming mail. Its from Shah of cakapaje and what do you know, I've been tagged. Okay lah, since nothing to do, I'll play along.

Now, for the tag...

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.
My son. You know what, we went out for dinner. He went to order something and suddenly he sat himself on a stool at the table next to us. We thought, it was his friend's table but it happened to be the wrong table he was at. He got up immediately and blushingly sat at our table. I told him its better to be caught naked.

2. What were you doing at 0800?
Sent my youngest to work. Today is her 3rd day at work. She too works in a bank.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Wondering in cyber-space.

4. What happened to you in 2006?
Nothing significant. Just an ordinary year. No additional children or wives.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
'Goal' when Tevez scored that beauty against Liverpool.

6. How many beverages did you have today?
2. 1 teh tarik at Kassim Mustafa over roti canai and mutton kurma for breakfast and 1 nescafe 3 in 1 to down the 3 pills I have to take every morning.

7. What colour is your hairbrush?
My hair grows very sparsely and I had a no 2 crew cut.

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Gardenia bread, on the way home from breakfast.

9. Where were you last night?
Padang Brown for dinner with family.

10. What colour is your front door?
Beige I guess.

11. Where do you keep your change?
Notes, in my pocket, shillings in a mug.

12. What's the weather like today?
Cloudy

13. What's the best ice-cream flavour?
Strawberry and vanilla

14. What excites you?
As they say in newspaper reports, the rest of the evidence is given in camera. No lar, its when Manchester scores a goal

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
Only when its long enough that I need to use a comb.

16. Are you over the age of 25?
x 2 + 1

17. Do you talk a lot?
If the topic is about sports and politics and music and movies and women and food ... well I guess I do talk a lot.

18. Do you watch the O.C?
What is O.C.?.

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
A classmate in college 30 years ago.

20. Do you make your own words?
There are many more words that I don't know.

21. Are you a jealous person?
No reason to be.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.
Ah Hock. The canteen operator (drinks section) in my last school. Damn good fellow.

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.
First on my mind 'Kerp'

24. Who's the first person on your received call list?
The Penolong Kanan Petang. She called me a moment ago regarding the school timetable. Got to do some shuffling. They sent a male teacher to the morning and replaced him with a female. Nothing wrong with that except that that male teacher teaches PJ and we are very short of male teachers. Looks like yours truly will be a victim here.

25. What does the last text message you received say?
Ba, amik 5.45 sharp. A message from my youngest reminding me to fetch her at the said time.

26. Do you chew on the straw?
I like to gulp my drinks from the glass so no need for straws. Its more satisfying la.

27. Do you have curly hair?
When I had hair, yes they were curly.

28. What's the next place you're going to?
My wife is getting ready, we are going out. I need to buy a printer. My pixman iP1000 (3 years old) died.

29. Who's the rudest person in your life?
A certain Penolong Kanan when my eldest was in form 6. I gave her a piece of my mine and left. Real, shit that lady, no PR at all.

30. What was the last thing you ate?
2 roti canai with mutton kurma.

31. Will you get married in the future?
Why would I want to do that?

32. What was the best movie you've seen in past 2 weeks?
None. The last was OM SHANTI OM with the family about 3 weeks ago.

33. Is there anyone I like right now?
All my blog buddies.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
Really can't remember. It has been ages.

35. Are you currently depressed?
Not actually, desperate maybe what with the timetable not completed yet and they keep changing teachers.

36. Did you cry today?
No, why, is there a law that requires one to cry everyday?

37. Why did you answer and post this?
Like Shah said, for fun. Hey fun is not restricted to sex only you you know!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL ADHA

Kepada yang balik kampung Pandu Cermat Jiwa Selamat dan kepada semua pembaca blog ini sama ada datang sini dengan sengaja atau tak sengaja saya sekeluarga ingin ucapkan:

I Object

Lawyer: Your honour, the defence intends to show the world that the accused is actually a victim of a vicious plot and conspiracy by certain forces in the organisation.

Judge: I object.

Lawyer: But your honour, you are a judge, you can't do that.

Judge: Don't you tell me what I can and cannot do. This is my court and I can do what I please.

Lawyer: But your honour. it is for the prosecution to object not you. And as you can see, he is busy with his mobile phone typing whatever he is typing. My god! I think he is sending messages, your honour, what is this? This total disregard for your lordship.

Judge: Lordship? Where, where.? Er, you mean me? Don't you think I can see that? That is why I am objecting on his behalf.

Lawyer: But how would you know he is going to object?

Judge: Well, let me satisfy your curiosity. Er, mister public prosecutor sir, I hope you don't mind me interrupting you, I know you are busy, but you see, the defence lawyer said that he intends to prove that his client is actually a victim of a vicious plot. So I objected, and he is not happy. I am sure you had intended to object had you not been busy?

PP: Of course I would object. How am I going to win this case if he could prove that. My bosses wouldn't be happy with me you know.

Judge: There, there, I told you what. He is sure to object what. Look I have been working with him for a very long time, I know lar if he is going to object or not.

Lawyer: But your honour, you cannot be doing his job. This is a travesty of justice.

Judge: Look here, don't use big words. Do you think I would be impressed? Go on with your opening statement. (hmm, travesty, must look that up in the dictionary)

Lawyer: Your honour..

Judge: Okay enough, Mr Public prosecutor sir, please call you witness.

PP: I don't have any .

Judge: Very good sir. After considering everything that has been said, especially the defence attorney's rudeness in questioning my integrity, I hereby instruct the defence to defend himself. Please call your witness.

Lawyer: What is this, your honour, the prosecution didn't say a word and you say there is prima facie an..

Judge: How many times have I told you not to use big words? I am warning you. (hmm prima facie)

Lawyer: This is only the preliminaries, of course my witnesses are not present.

Judge: How dare you come to my court without being prepared. What kind of a defence lawyer are you? I have no alternative but to find the accused guilty of treason. Sentencing will be set on the 22nd. I'll have to ask the prosecution what they want. No bail, no appeal and I don't want to here a word from you.

Lawyer: Your honour, would you be so kind as to grant me a minute for consultation?

Judge: Ah, that's the way. Politeness will get you very far you know. Yes, you may. How can I help you?

Lawyer: I find that your knowledge of the law is out of this world, mind boggling, where did you study law? UM, Oxford, Cambridge?

Judge: I tell you a secret, after my SPM, I did not go to any university. Through the Ketua Bahagian of my district, I was recommended to the YAMNO school of judges. The public prosecutor was my lecturer you know. He is a real good guy. He always skipped class and we had a nice time earning extra as cyber-troopers.

Lawyer: What do you think about my clients fate?

Judge: Gone case lar this fellow. I think its the gallows lar.

Something Funny Happened

This story is fresh from the oven. It happened barely half an hour ago. Let me start from the beginning.

This morning, my daughters took their mother to a dental clinic. At the clinic, a nurse who happens to be a relative of my eldest daughter's friend was extremely friendly. She was talking and enquiring about the girls and my wife.

True to form, the dentist refused to extract my wife's tooth saying that it is still good. She asked my wife to come back in 2 months for the extraction, although my wife complained that the tooth was giving her sleepless night. No this story is not about the tooth nor the late date for the extraction. That part is just to highlight the kind of service you get in government clinics.

Back to the story. About half an hour ago, my wife got a call from a number that she doesn't recognise. The person introduced herself as the nurse who tended to my wife this morning. After some short formalities, she went straight to the point. She enquired about my eldest daughter. She wanted to know if my daughter is married. When my wife told her that my eldest is already taken she enquired about the other daughter who is only 20.

She told my wife that she has a suitable suitor for my daughter. He is an officer in a government agency. She also said that she has done this many times before and that all those couples are happily married off. My wife was obviously shocked. Apparently, when my wife registered at the clinic, she took down the phone number for her own consumption because my wife told me that another nurse also asked my wife for her phone number since it was not written in the card.

My youngest daughter was fuming mad because my wife had entertained that nurse. She gave a definite no. What strikes me most is that, this thing still goes on on this time and age. Its not something new, but I thought this practise is already dead. I have not stopped teasing my youngest daughter and she was none to please with it.

This however reminds me of how my sister got married. One day 26 years ago my late mother went to the Jelutong market with my sister. She did not know that on her way back she was followed by an elderly lady. Later that evening, the lady came to our house with her eldest daughter. My late mom was of course puzzled because she was not familiar with the lady.

They introduced themselves and said that they would like to ask for my sister's hand for the lady's son. Initially she did not say that it was for her son. I was in Kelantan at that time. That night I called home as I usually do. My mom told me what happened and asked for my opinion. I just said I would object if my sister objects. My sister being the filial daughter that she had always been left everything to my daughter.

My mother accepted the proposal and they have been happily married for the past 26 years. They have 2 sons and 2 daughters. He has taken her almost around the world so I guess it was a wise decision.

As for me right now, I am going to have fun teasing my youngest. I know she already has a boyfriend so I am not about to go mess with her life.

Replacement Video For The Previous Post

Aamir Hafiz - Teri Deewani - saregamapa lil champ

Listen to this boy. Remember, he is only a boy. Put your bias against hindi songs aside and listen to this as a song, nothing more.

MAJULAH SUKAN UNTUK ?

The through pass from the defence split created an opening right in centre-field. As the forward tried to get the ball he accidentally tripped fell flat on his face. There was not a soul near him. The referee blew the whistle to stop the match. He ran to the goalkeeper of the opposing team and dug his back pocket for the yellow card. The crowd was silent and stunt except for a pocket of supporters of the visiting side who were cheering the referee’s decision.

The goalkeeper tried pleading with the referee but he arrogantly smiled and waved him off. As the referee was about to restart the game the captain of the visitors approached him and discussed something. The referee then ran towards the linesman and after a short discussion with the linesman and the captain, they were joined by the Manager of the visiting team who curiously carried an envelope. Smiling, the referee handed the envelope to the linesman and blew his whistle while running to the home-team’s penalty box. He pointed to the box signalling that a penalty was awarded.

The home boys, crowded round the referee to enquire what was going on but he just smiled. “I am the referee; I know what I am doing. I have been refereeing for a long time and I had always been fair.”

“Do you call this fair?” the captain shouted at the referee. The referee just turned to the stands and signalled the riot squad who ran in and beat the captain up. The home team supporters were getting restless and started stomping their feet to protest the referee’s decision and all of a sudden they were rained with chemically laced water from somewhere. A reporter from a middle east tv news station was also apprehended for filming the incident. All the crowd could hear was the words 'erection, erection, erection' from a burly dark-skinned man.

Back at the field, the referee instructed that the goalkeeper be blindfolded. He was asked to turn the other side facing the back of his own goal. Both his left leg and hand were cuffed to the upright post. The captain of the visiting team smiled and placed the ball on the spot to take the kick. As the whistle blew, he ballooned the ball over the post. The referee was silent for a while. The supporters of the home team were ecstatic by what the called divine intervention but their joy was short-lived. The referee awarded a goal saying that the goalkeeper had breathed causing a turbulence that made the ball missed the target.

The visiting team was thrashed that day. They did not take it without a fight and immediately filed a complaint to the body governing the competition.

After what seemed like eternity, the governing body released a press statement.

After viewing the replay of the match in question and following the many consultations we had with various experts, namely, The Department of Civil Aviation, The DOE, Rela, PUSPANITA, The producers of Akademi Fantasia at ASTRO, The Road and Transport Department, FINAS and The association of VIP Sons-in-Law we have come to the following conclusion.

1.. The centre forward of the visiting team fell because the manager of the home team had silently wished for it to happen. We have tape recordings of the silent wish.

2. In addition to the referee’s report that the goalkeeper had breathed when the kicker of the home team was about to take the kick we also have an affidavit from a Shaman in Chad who said that he was approached by the home team to sabotage the kick.

3.As for the sending off of the captain of the home team, the referee reported that the captain actually caressed his backside and asks him ‘How much’. For this misdemeanor we have also agreed to hand the captain a life ban from playing soccer.

4. We hereby award victory to the visiting team and will only be available to hear any appeals after we get home from our paid vacation in Switzerland where we will be taking lots of pictures.

MAJULAH SUKAN UNTUK NEGARA

Rowan Atkinson Live: Welcome to hell.

This guy is hilarious. This is only for laughs, that's all.

Eric Clapton: Groaning The Blues

You've got to have lots of soul to play and sing like that. His weeping and groaning guitars with the occasional pleading slowhand screams is just orgasmic.