My Digital World

Time flies. We all have survived from December 21st. According to the Mayan, that day a new life would start. People associated that with the-end-of-the-day.

Looking back at 2012, I really did have a great year. My year started with moving to another place. A room that is completely for myself. So, I do not need to share shower and toilet with others.
Then, I found a job with promising career. I got a permitted contract. With this contract, I can borrow money from the bank to buy a house.
After I worked for almost two months, I got my driving license. My higher manager provided me a car. I was even allowed to pick a car I like. It was a nice experience to do a test drive in a brand new car.
The good thing did not end. Just short later, I got SAP exam. Guess what, I was the only one who passed that exam. My team lead and  higher manager was impressed by my performance, since I was the only one among the talented candidates who passed the exam once.

But there is one thing that blows my complete happiness. I heard that my model friend had passed by. The more I think of her, the more I miss her. Even now, I still feel very sad if I think of her. At New Year I sent her a WhatsApp message to wish her a happy New Year. I hope she will do well where-ever she is.

This year, I almost started with my third business. When everything was almost set, one of my business partner did not want to continue. Then, I quit this business. Also, I quit my jewelry business, since co-operation was not well with my business partner. I learned a lot from starting business with other people. When you are in trouble, I noticed that a bad business partner will blame everything on you. I really mean everything: even things that are not related to business.

Leaving this unhappy period, I got many good periods back. I kept my promise to myself. I said that I will visit Singapore/Malaysia every 2 years. I am very happy to able to catch up with my friends in Asia. I even visit a friend who lived in Beijing: my first time visit in China. It was a nice experience. Next time when I visit China, I would like to do more sightseeing stuff.

My life with respect to work is very good. I am appreciated by my client. My client like me to substitute a medior+ consultant who comes from Capgemini. To able to do that, I need to boost my SAP skill. Normally, it took almost 5 years time to able to be a medior. Hopefully, I can achieve that after I have 1 year experience in SAP.

This year, I spent my first Christmas with my good friend Celeste. She invited me to her place. Her parents got a huge house. Here I was able to snap a group photo:

My 2013 is a good start. I receive 4 cards of my good friends. It is very funny that many of the cards mention about the same thing. They all remind me to find a girlfriend in 2013.

So, what is my New Year's resolution? I hope I can realise the following:
- start playing stocks: my goal is to make a profit of about 30.000 Euros
- more art work in my photography portfolio
- being healthy
- mastering SAP BO
- able to shoot Northern Lights
- visiting new countries
- born of my love life

Let's hope all the best for me in 2013!

I dunno where I should start. My head is now very empty and something happened to me this week, which makes me very very tired. It is not because of work. It is not because of love. It is about a fact that I could not accept until a few hours back.

In the summer of 2010, I was very happy that I could go to Singapore and Malaysia for vacation. The last visit was 4 years back. I was very excited to catch up with friends and family. I was also excited to meet the local 'models'.

One of the models I met, was very special. She gave me an impression of a career minded & mature girl. A girl who knew well how to make the correct steps to achieve her goal. Her look was very different than other typical Asian girls. She got a very sharp face.

When I went back to Holland, we still kept in touch by Facebook and Whatsapp. I remember that she said that she envied me because I can work with so many pretty female models. She also joked about that she must be one of the pretty girls I know. Although, I did not admit that at that moment, but in my heart she really belonged to one of them.

The last chat with her was almost 5 months back. At that time, she lost a lot of weight. She tried to put some weight. She happily shared with me that she gained 1 kg. But life was more than about the look. Her best friend got in deep trouble. She tried to help him in every aspect. I did ask her if she liked that guy, since I really do think she crossed over the road as a good friend. But she said no. She told me that she could not see his good friend's father suffer. That made her very very very tired. I told her to take good care of herself. She smiled and replied that she will do that.

I didn't know that that was my last chat with her...the week after that chat, another model friend contacted me via Facebook. That model friend brought me the worst news ever. She said she hear that my model friend passed by. I was totally shocked and I could not believe that this could be true. My heart was jumping very fast and my head started cooking. I logged in Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp to contact my friend. My heart jumped even faster when I noticed that her Facebook and Twitter account had been deactivated. I tried to calm down myself and I tried to use my brain to see what else I can do. Without any doubt, I tried to call her. But there was no response. I text her. But there was no reply. This is not the way of how it should be!

Sadly, I felt I was lost. What could happen to her? I heard it was a suicide. How could this be true? She is a very sensible girl. What came to her mind to end her life? There are many many questions I want to ask her. There are many and many things I want to share with her. Both of us work on our career. She said that she knows that I will reach my goal. She gave me her sweet smile and support by every achievement. I am proud of her performance at school. I feel honor to allow to do a photoshoot with her when I come to Singapore this year, since she became FHM nr.1 model. Both of career look very bright. But why did she stop the journey with me?

I am not a person who will easily give. I google and google, trying to look for the answer: is it true that my friend passed by? I know the chance that the answer is NO is very very small. But at least there is a very very small change of NO. I told myself that I should not be mad at her of whatever if the answer is NO. But this time the truth is something I should accept.

I found a girl on internet who seemed to be 'friend' with her. She wrote a blog about her. I contact that girl by sending her a message on Facebook. Today, at 7pm I got a reply of that girl. Loa Tian Ye took that 1% away.

Inside my heart, I am very sad. Imagine what the probability is to meet someone who becomes a friend of you. Although we are just an ordinary friend, I really do care about her.No matter what happened to my friend, I will give my both hands. Why didn't she ask for my hands?

Fact is sometimes very tough to face. We all need to learn how to accept it. If we have a second life, I hope you will have a happier life. If we have heaven, let Loa Tian Ye protect you. I know you don't like feeling weak. But let someone protecting you is something that is called "xinfu". If you can read this, I want to tell you that I will always remember you. I hope you do well in wherever you are now. And I really do miss you!