My Digital World

I was unconscious of the fact that today it is already Friday! The week flies and again I have no idea what I have done. I talk to myself that from now on I have to start with things for my study since the last few days I was sitting in front of the TV to watch a Chinese soap that my mom recorded for me when I was in Singapore.

I don't like watching TV actually since I think almost all the stories are so predictable and I really hate the love part in E-V-E-R-Y soaps and movies. The issue are always that there is a person A who likes person B, but person B achieves person A as a friend and likes person C. And finally everyone is happy. All this stuff seems like a ping pong game: you flirt me and me flirt you, we were friends and we had relationship and we broke up and come back together again etc. That is why I usually fall asleep or going to the computer when they talk about love-issues.

Also in each Chinese soaps, everything is so perfect! The world is too idealistic drawn. E.g. the politeness of the HK people, the responbility to do your job perfect with all the care for the others, the "only-one" love and many more. When I was a child I really thought that this world was ideal since I saw so many perfect things around me: my relatives are very nice to me, people are very honest etc. But when I grow up, I see the black side of this world more and more. I am quite disappointed of the real world.

Apart from the bad things, I also have nice things to write. My youngest brother who is now 12 starts his puberty recently. My mom and I notice that since he always asks for food which is quite rare. He lets me think about the time I was an adolescent. I remember that I ate very much. But anyhow I am not getting fat.

The second thing that makes me smile is the e-mail that a friend sends to me from HK. She goes back to The Netherlands this week already. She and me, and also one more friend, will never forget the great time we have in the very very small country Singapore. In this little country there are many nice memoirs buried of three of us.

The last thing that makes me feel very good, is the e-mail that my cousin Lee Pin sends to me. She writes Chinese e-mail to me this time since in the last e-mail I tell her that I like to practise my Chinese and if she feels more convenient in Chinese she can writes Chinese. My Chinese is very very bad. But I have picked up lots of Chinese characters when I had my Chinese courses in Singapore. Thanks to that I am able to read some Chinese now. The e-mails and other things that Lee Pin had done for me are very nice! I am glad to be her uncle.

I do care for my family and relatives very much. And I also care my friends alot. Lately there is a friend who has some kind of worry. I do care her a lot. I know that I don't like to see her "suffering". After the operation, I appreciate friendship more and more. Without my friends, my world will be grey.

My uncle and his family are leaving for Singapore. I am asked to look after their house. Therefore I stay in their house. It is very quite here and it is a good place for studying although I don't have the mood for that. I have to push myself to pick up the books.

By the way, today I have send my CD's and DVD's to two of my friends since they are asking for the photos and I don't know when I will see them. Everyone is very busy with working or going out with his or her other part.

In the afternoon I chat with my Singapore friends, Nancy and Airin. The only way to get everyone together is via chatting. I like the time that we were together at the modelshooting and at the faredinner. The cherish of friendship is a bit different for Singaporean than the Dutch-Chinese. I think, the Singaporean value the friendship more.

After the operation and after I come back from Singapore, I see a gap between me and my friends. Things are changed in the friendship. Or maybe I am changed.

Have you ever had that you spend days without knowing what you actually have done? Or you do nothing (useful) all the day. The life in The Netherlands is so boring. I can go to the town for just walking between the streets, but that is also very boring since the street is empty and all stores are closed at Sunday. In Asia every day all the shopping malls are very crowded. Mainly in the weekend. I like the sphere in Singapore since it gives me more home-feeling. The nightlife in The Netherlands is nothing else than clubbing or going to pub for drinking till you drop. There is nothing else you can do. When you look around outside you can smell the weed. Many Dutch likes smoking weed. They also have a store for selling those stuff which I think it is ridiculous.

Since I was alone today, I look for stuff I burn on CDs. I find the cartoon that I had liked very much: Dr. Slump! It is a very old cartoon but it is still very funny. In general I don't like "commedy-based" cartoon, but Dr. Slump is an exception. To be quite honest the jokes are very silly, but somehow they can me laugh.

It has been a while that I write something in my new blog. Lately I don't get the chance to do that since I have to go to my room and university for arranging stuff.

I pick up my research project about pacemaker. Before the operation I was doing the research. It is a though project and I just finished it for 1/3 only. My goal in the summer is, try to "break" the mathmatic that is needed to describe the signal. I don't think I will manage that since I am not smart. (It is impossible that I become a second Newton). All I can do is studying carefully and I hope to explore stuff.

In this few days I face to things that I always face when I have a long holiday. That are things that I always like to do but I never manage to start with. First, I want to do something for my research but I don't have the motivation for it. So, I still haven't started with it yet. *sigh*...Second, I finally find out how to combine Photoshop with Dreamweaver. So I want to start building a new personal website, but that means that it will takes me a very long time to complete and I don't have so much time for it. And besides they are so many exams waiting for me that I need to start studying now. But somehow I don't have the "prickle" to do my first step. The third thing is, I want to make a standalone program such as "my own chatprogram". I don't like msn since it is filled with lots of features I don't need and it has too many ads that annoys me! To able to write a standalone program I need to learn Delphi which I have never touched it before. That means I have to put time in programming to learn its language. But how can I spend so many time in it although there are so many books waiting for me to revise? The last thing is about getting a part-time job. I am broken after I come back from Singapore. I am unemployed and I want to earn some money. My plan was, getting two or three jobs and I want to give the money I earn from one job to my mom. But so far I haven't found any jobs. *sigh*

I wish that one day is more than 24hours. There are too many things I like to do but since I can only choose one, I have to leave others. My life is filled with lots of trade-offs. How can I know if my choice is correct?

I open a new blog since my previous is too public. There are so many people that can read my blog although I open my blog for myself and friends only. I think this blog-site is better protected than my previous one. Therefore I give a new try to write something that I can share with my friends.

I get this blog from my friend Francis. He is one of my photographer friends. I know him when I join the first IR outing in Singapore in 2006. We start together to learn IR and get into a talk later. I read the things he writes in his blog. All the things he writes, are very interesting. I can see what he is going through and what he thinks. I understand how difficult it is to say goodbye. The first moment to feel the difficulty was at the IR outing. The handshake is the sign of farewell and that gives me the missing feeling. Then the second moment is my departure to The Netherlands at the airport. My relatives and friends bring me to the airport. I dare not to look back once I enter the counter.

Everything has a begin, has an end. Life is filled with ups and downs. I wish for all of my friends all the best! And I want to thank Francis to let me share his life with me.