Nov 25, 2010

Childish.

Well, school stuff again.

BME Connect:

I am suppose to... Promote my course during my school open house+hold a parents meeting to inform them about their childs lifestyle in school.

I am suppose to... Organise a Orientation camp for the next batch of students.

I am suppose to... Select my successor...

I am suppose to... Organise a D&D for the Alumni...

Class:

I am nominated as Chair person in class and SOME PEOPLE are not happy.

There goes my life. It's a pain to live.
God8:34 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Nov 18, 2010

I don't want to die

In the past, I have a goal. That goal is: "I don't want to die as a nobody."
Today, I altered that goal. That goal became: "I cannot die as a nobody."

What happen if I die today? I don't want to die as a virgin. I don't want to die now. Why now? Why not 5 years ago. Why not 10 years later. Why torture me before death. I am not satisfied with my life now. I haven achieved anything. Will I achieve something? I want to be somebody. I don't want to die today, tommorow, or anytime before I become somebody.

What will happen after I die? Will there be afterlife? If there is, will I become somebody? Or will I be some random useless life. What if there is no afterlife? Then I will be alone, I will not feel anything, see anything, hear anything and remember anything. That sounds good, but what will the people around me do? My brother? My parents? My friends? Or will I just fade away...

Who will attend my funeral when I die? Who will cry? Who will rejoice? Who will remember me for life? I don't want to die, not now.
God9:36 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Nov 14, 2010

I won't live a long life, Migrain is killing me.

I feel sad after looking back at my life. I haven taste victory. I don't know what is self satisfaction. I don't know what is love. All my life, I have been doing things that what others think it's right until I reached Poly.

I never win. When will I do so? I hate the feeling of losing. I want it so bad. Will I live long enough to feel victory?
God4:01 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Nov 3, 2010

A platform to complain...

This will no longer be a blog, but a platform for me to complain.

Recently, I took part on a public speaking course in the CC. I wasn't the best speaker, but I know that there are worse speakers than me. There is this old guy that take it as a platform to complain. Therefore, I used my blog as a platform to complain.

In school, I automatically become the "Class Rep" because the original wasn't attending school regularly. Is that fair to me? I think I deserve CCA points for what I am doing now...

Public transport!! It's like prizes could be won by being the first to get in the train or bus. What's more?? Additional prize will be won if you get a sit!!

Back to school. It's ok if lecturers read from the slides monotonously but it's not ok when you read it wrongly!!

More school!! Lecturers, if you have a problem with students, please resign. Or else, take up anger management courses that will help you to appreciate that kids nowadays can be better than you!!

AND MORE SCHOOL!! When you are conducting a lecture, don't RAP YOUR SCRIPT!! It's a lecture, not a rapping contest!!

Social. If you are not happy with me having better grades than you, then you are useless. Don't tell me that because I spend my time at home studying and blabber all the nonscence because I don't have to study to be better than you.

Ahhahh, I finally get all the things in my heart out. :D
God8:59 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Oct 29, 2010

Big Plan, Big Wishes, no push

I am too ambitious. Planned too far but found out that all those that I've planned is meaningless... The "Sure Pass" plan is actually a plan to failure... How many more wrong decisions must I make...
God10:29 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Oct 23, 2010

The Lion Befriender

Anyone knows what is "The Lion Befriender"? It's a community that takes care of elderlys. Something like an oldfolks home but it's supported by the government.

Today, I was in school helping this event of inviting people from The Lion Befriender to my school. All I can say is it's inspirational. I didn't interact with them at all but I can infer from other's interactions. The old folks are very contented with their lives although they have some family issues. They volunteered themselves to sing(although it was very lousy =x) and actively participated in games.

This time, I am not the anti-social one that didn't interact with the old folks. I was appointed to the drinks corner(a.k.a The slack corner) and have very little interactions with them. Who knows what happen when you are 60++ years old. I think I would have given up on life itself.
God8:57 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Oct 21, 2010

Education in Singapore

Well, it may seem that education is an essential part to build a better future for ourselves but I think it's more of a stepping stone to more education that may not bring you anywhere.

I want to get good grades just to boost my ego and not because I know that it will affect my future. Actually, it does affect my future in a way: Better starting salary, Better prospects and More benefits. Despite all that, there is a limit to where the person can go. Must you be a PhD holder to earn 10k per month? My answer is no. All you need is luck and more luck. Ability and consistancy may not be as important as luck in the future.

I was thinking, if a PhD holder is fired from his company, who will employ him/her?? It's too costy, he/she definately needs a professional team, and the equipment he/she uses is of a higher cost. How can any company affort that?

Talents will stay as talents if they do not utilise their skills. Once they do, they won't be called talents any more. More will hate them, more will fear them, more will follow them.
God7:03 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Oct 14, 2010

My Life at 2040

Have you ever wondered what will you be when you are old? Or what do you want to achieve in life? Or even, how you will be remembered after life. I was thinking about that yesterday and felt sad about it.

What sparked my thought? I don't know actually but if I continue the life I am living now, I will be a nobody, and will not achieve anything at the age of 50. Well, I spent one whole day thinking of the strategy to become successful, but the thought made me feel worst. Even my family thinks I am crazy that time. 30 years, it's not far away if you can see.

For a normal Poly Student (Guys only), we will finish your University at 25, have a job and work till 30+. Then we are all out-dated even if we did well in school. That's 15 years of work life and we will still be the small fries of the organisation we are in. What will we achieve?

This is a normal person's aim in life.

1. Get a Driving Licence
2. Get a Car
3. Get a House
4. Die

Well, mine is totally diffrent I want to be the person that drives the world for a reason, I want to be remembered not by thousands, but Millions. To do that, I have to start not at the age of 25, but I need to be recognised NOW. How?

Yesterday night, around 10pm, I thought of a 30 years No Fail plan!! And my plan will take effect next Monday. Watch me as I move the world.
God11:32 AM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Oct 11, 2010

The Poly Forums (edited)

Well, I think I am wrong again about things. I should really become more optimistic towards people. I really enjoyed my stay in the Poly Forums. There are actually many talented and nice people out there. How I wished I wasn't me that time.

Come to think about it, I went there to learn more about leadership. I really felt smarter after this trip. Not intellectually, but socially. Many first times there for me. Many people I wished I met earlier.

For now, I know no one is reading but just updating for fun. :D
God7:40 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Oct 4, 2010

The Poly Forums

Long time since I posted. Currently, I am busy in the poly forums. It is a very tiring journey. So much for debating and politics.

Day 1 of the journey:
It was sort of an amazing race to understand S'pore. Creates the bonding within the groups we had, but we split up later on... I had some friends on the first day, and was actually looking forward to it. In fact, we got a free S'pore flyer ride!! Looking forward to more goodies. :D

Day 2 of the journey:
We had a talk to some of the great people in politics. They gave greate insights to what challenges S'pore is facing and things we have to do. Before I continue, I have to say that the teams we had on day 1 is diffrent from day 2... Many wasn't happy about it. I am neutral actually, I see this as an opportunity to make our presentation better and a collaboration with other teams. Later on of the day, we spoke with Proffessor Jonathan Marshal, speaking about the mentality of a leader, and the diffrence of attitude through out the generations. That thought sparked me.

Day 3 of the journey:
I sort of noticed that one guy we trying to "Over-Perform" and wants alot of attention. I predicted a fight in the Poly Forums since then. I was thinking: "Our focus topic is on Leadership, that means everyone here is a leader, it's not a wise decision to assume leadership from the start." Nevertheless, I didn't start anything, but I sense the tension in certain people. programes for the day was a visit to the Home-Team Accadamy, it teaches us that not only the guy at the top is a leader, but also the people at the bottom. Then a question was asked "Since everyone is a leader, what are the qualities that define the leader of the leaders?" I know selfishness rules over that guy. What does he want to prove?

Day 4 of the journey:
We went to the "Dialog in the Dark" in NgeeAnn Poly and I have to say, it's a great experience! The whole idea is a stimulation of a blind man's point of view. We entered a place where it is pitch dark!! Everyone was in the state of confusion but after I told them to put their hands on the shoulder infront of them, they calmed. Despite that, the tour guide wants us in the state of confusion!! He told us to Not put our hands on the other person's shoulder. And we walked through the stimulated park, restraunt and boat ride like a blind man. After some boring story telling session from our tour guide, everyone(except for me) was touched by his story. What did I learn that they didn't? I learn to overcome the state of confusion by myself, they had no idea of walking through that place without a guide. That day was a long day, we had guest speakers talking about leadership again, and at night, we had religous leaders talking about their religon. Boring shit...

Day 5
I didn't talk about the discussions we had on Day 2 through 4 becase I am going to cover them all here. There is this "Over Performing" guy that have this very one-sided view of leadership. I don't want to say anything before anyone else does because that will make me the mastermind of the quarrel, and I know that I am not the only one that is unhappy about it. So as soon as Day 3, someone spoke up. As I expected, after one, there is 2, after 2, there is 4 that spoke about their opinion about his views. And obviously, he wants to make a come back, and debated. So from Day 2 through 4, we didn't accomplish anything but a very feirce debate. For the ones reading that don't know anything, I am categorise as the under-performing guy that don't speak up until Day 4. Day 5 is a great accomplishment as we were able to complete what we were suppose to do and at least, the "Over-Performing" guy is not so noisy anymore. Nevertheless, there were many one-sided view of leadership from people that didn't speak up from Day 1 through 4. I prefered not to speak up as I think that will only cause more conflict. I believed that is also the mindset of everyone there.

Conclusion:
After all, I strongly think that a leader, is not a person, but an elite group that can work together. One that has a time manager, conflict manager, publicity manager and resource manger. That's all I have to say.
God10:31 AM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Sep 24, 2010

Damn Bored La!!

Hi all!! Me blogging again. They camp was not satisfactory. Watashi is going to host another camp while me is still Vice-President. Me must do something bery big.

Watashi is bery bored this week. After me reach level 18, me unlock many many quest. Me have driving jump quest, M18 movie quest and can use Alcohol potion. Watashi also selected for poly forum that is next week Monday two Wednesday. After that me got nothing to do. Sianz
God3:28 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Sep 12, 2010

Checkmate, I lose

I give up, I admit defeat. I am not super man. I can't do everything by myself. I have emotions. I am not a hero.

I am going to break down anytime. I was so confident. My plan failed. No one trust my abilities any more. That, is life. I will stand up again, soon.
God3:41 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Sep 7, 2010

Universal Studio Pictures

I will be uploading them when I am feeling better. I am abit sick now. Sorry Jackie.

Anyway, back to life. I got very pissed off with my neighbor. They took advantage that we are civilized and they are barbaric. If they ever comes again, even if my father don't sue them, I will sue them. Thats the resolve I have.
God3:13 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Aug 21, 2010

The Poly Forums

Well, surprizingly(or not), I am currently in the poly forum team under the theme of leadership. My assignment is to brainstorm leadership qualities. I think, this is some random ineffective way to help us become leaders. Why? As all of you should know, everyone have very diffrent views of leadership and being a good leader. You could actually search youtube and see for yourself.

Although most leadership qualities are simmiliar, in some point, if you follow all of that, it will make you a very demanding person. Lets be fair, we assume, everyone wants to be a leader, but there can only be one leader. So, why bother to compete in a situation that is at your disadvantage?? Eventually, even if you are the leader of that particular group, no one will listen to you. But lets say, you are in the same group, and you let someone else become the leader, you are actually making an ally within the group and that person will unconciously bend his rules towards you.

So what is leadership to me? It's the ability t0 make others follow your decisions with full understanding of what is happening and the leader's views about it. It's the ability to make bad decisions look right(because in life, there is no wrong decisions). It's the ability to know when to move forward and backwards(of course, if you can't do it, take a break). And to give others mental strength.

Those above are not qualities, but they are what I think a leader should possess. So I have finished my homework. And Do Not, make me a leader!!
God9:55 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Aug 15, 2010

Back From China

Actually, I was about to title this back from hell. Anyway, after this trip, I became more "Anti-China". The "Most Developed" part of China, Shanghai, is like a village filled with barbarians. They have no manners, hygene, moral, respect and education. It is so tribal. Even the mother of a kid thought him to cut que. WTH!! The traffic lights are only for show, they don't even use it. And the taxi driver can drive without using his hands!! This is MADDNESS!!! Anyway, this trip made me more mature as you know, it's my first flight in my life. I was like "Woah, look at the plane, the sky... ..." "Woah look!! That is Singapore!!!" "The clouds are so nice!! TAKE PICTURE!!!!" Anyway, my advice, even if you are given an opportunity to go to China, don't go!! It's a living hell!!
God9:25 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Aug 6, 2010

Game Over

I am going to Malaysia tommorow. After that, when I come back on Monday, I will be preparing to go to China on Tuesday and should be back on Saturday. What a long vacation. Vacation? I suppose so. So many things have fell from my hands. Everything I do, everything I make others do, means nothing. I have wasted everyone's effort and now, I am going for a vacation. How I wish I could make miricals, make out solutions for every game. Or have this super influencial ability to make others do what I want them to.

Exams are here, everyone is studying, what about me? Pondering about things that are just fantasy. I don't want to fail, I don't want to lose, but what should I do to redeem my mistakes...

Well, more on the China trip, well, I will be setting off on next Tuesday 5.30am. I hope it will be a fruitful trip and will give me enlightenment for future plans.

For now, I hope that World Peace will sustain as long as possible as I know a war will be established soon enough.

Counter Attack or Getting Ambushed?
God10:38 AM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Jul 29, 2010

Contradictions

Why are we played around by a simple thing that we created. How I wished that there were no contradictions. The people I want to talk to don't want to talk to me, whereas the people I don't want to talk to keeps talking to me.

The idea of an exam is to diffrentiate the Better students from the Weaker students. If all papers are so damn easy, the defining factor of a "good" student is one who makes less careless mistakes rather than the one who has the potential.

Not to defend myself only, but I strongly think that we reached the stage that we must learn how to think in POLY, so we should learn how to think instead of learning how to study in POLY. I really hate it when lecturers feed us with information and give easy questions in exams as I don't think that we are going to have that service in the industry.

Well, that's life, the really good students are not the ones with really good PSLE, 'O' Levels or GPA...
God7:21 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Jul 25, 2010

Photos with my digital camera

Hi readers, just for your info, I bought a new digital camera for my many overseas trips comming soon. This is to test the quality of my camera. And for those who don't know, this is the block I stay, not revealing any clue about it. xD


This is the Car Park near my house.









Ku Teck Puat Hospital!! My father suggested that I should take shots there since it has very good interior and exterior design. Intrestingly, I didn't know that till today. xD
God9:19 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Jul 22, 2010

Very Very Tiring Life

Like the title states. Very tiring life. Currently, I happen to see many things. I came up with many philosophies of so many things. I don't even want to know the world I know now.

The list of Social philosophies I came up with.

Philosophy 1
-When a person is good to you, it may not be that he/she wants to be your friend, and may not be that he/she wants to leech something from you, it may mean that he/she wants to look popular.
Philosophy 2
-When someone bites you, don't let them bite you the second time or else you will regret for life.
Philosophy 3
-Popularity does not determind the character of the person. He/she can be rotten to the core but has the ability to influence others to be as rotten as him/her.
Philosophy 4
-Ignorance is the best defence to everything. Just by saying "I don't know" can get you away from all the shit you are facing.
Philosophy 5
-When someone says to you in your face "I will support you forever man!", it's a lie. No one in the world will do that.
Philosophy 6
-No point trying to help the dying. You may end up dying also.

And the list of Leadership related philosophies

Philosophy 7
-Emotions does affect your decisions. If you want it so badly, anger is a good emotion to drive your point.
Philosophy 8
-There are 2 definations of good teamwork, 1, working together to achieve a favourable result, or 2, distributing work so that no one is burdened by anyone.
Philosophy 9
-Friend or foe, don't lose focus of your judgement. Harsher punishment should be implimented on a friend.
Philosophy 10
-Leadership is not determind by the ability to do work, but the ability to make others do work willingly.
Philosophy 11
-No matter how desprate your situation is, there is always a way out.
Philosophy 12
-If you reach the ceiling, you will never break the ceiling if you continue pushing.
Philosophy 13
-If the cup is filled with water, no more water can be filled in it. But stones can be added in it.
Philosophy 14
-If you don't say, no one knows.
God7:32 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Jul 19, 2010

Very Tiring Life

Don't get mistaken, I don't want to die, but everything I thought I knew before is not the truth. Business isn't a good thing. So many lies, so cruel. Money can really change the world. If only the rich aren't so selfish and sadistic. What a laugh. I always thought that 1 man couldn't change the world. I am wrong. It depends on who is that one man. This sadistic world is just like that, the rich gets richer and the poor gets babies. Approaching the end of man kind, I can see little rich people and many poor and starving. Something got to change. One man can't change the world but one man with a large sum of money can.
God3:08 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Jul 14, 2010

Migrain Headache

I thought I said that I won't complain about my headache but now, here I am, complaining about it again!! I just can't do things right. What the hell is wrong man, out of so many people, why me!

Anyway, some good news to share. I am selected to go to Shang Hai in China!! I think it will be between 10~15 August. I am also done with the BME Camp, so it's 1 less burden. And as you all know, I am selected to go to the poly forum workshop, a 5 days trip to Malaysia.

Back to the complains, so far, I got all 'A's for my Common test but I am not happy with it. I think I could do better. And I got a freaking 'B' for anatomy!! What the hell man. Got to maintain my GPA of 4.
God8:26 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Jul 8, 2010

Cry

Feels like I did something wrong to force everyone to have a bad impression on me. Or is it me that is thinking too much? Am I too arrogant and sensitive? Pondering about the things I've done, maybe it's the time for me to appologise.
God2:41 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Jul 4, 2010

Done, but not over yet.

The common tests are over, it's time to relax. There are things I haven finish, things that must be done. Sem exams are comming. It's time to struggle.
God12:05 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Jun 27, 2010

Choices

"The right move today may not be the right move tommorow. The best solution in the past is not the best solution in the present." A quote taken by a wise old man I know.

True indeed, he also mentioned something afterwards that I disagree, but he has a point. "Why plan for the future when we live in the present."

Another quote from someone I know. "If you can do work, but you can't talk, you have no future. But if you can talk, but can't do work, you can climb mountains." He was refering to something at that moment when he said that because he wasn't in a good mood.

It is strange, how 2 people of diffrent personalities can come together and work peacefully but another 2 with simmiliar personalities can't understand each other.

I used to do many things I don't do now. Used to like things I can't be bothered about now. All we ever wanted is for others to trust us. Am I right? If we break down every little thing we do, and break it down even futher, we need others to survive. And that, is the most basic thing that I don't have to mention.

Why do we go to school? To find a job, then to earn money, then we can enjoy life/continue living. Why was money created? To make things easier for exchange, thus, reducing confusion. How do we earn money? By working for someone else, investing, scandal, robbing. Let me break things down individually and see their simmilarities.

By working for someone else, the first step is to get that position. How? through paper qualification/working experience. Next, to secure the job, we need to do what we are "suppose" to do. All these steps are to gain trust from you employer.

Investment? To me, because I know little about it, it is to gain trust from the investor, so they could pour in resources. And the investor must also trust the investment by reports given. So, I conclude, it is about trust again.

Scandal, is to cheat and con with what ever methods you have. In other words, gaining trust from others but means of lying.

Robbing? In the past, it is to convey that you are superior and is capable of harming the other party. Thus, threatening them to surrender their valuables. Now, as said before, "The best solution in the past is not the best solution now." It is not to prove that you are superior but to show that you are threatening. And getting what they want.

So my conclusion. We rely on others to survive, and need to understand them. In the world which madness is spreading, peace can still be formed if we are able to convey the right message, to the right people, at the right place, in the correct ceremony. We live in a place where trust in others is important. Misusing it will lead to war, and will destroy the peace we could have, and should have.
God5:02 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---

Jun 19, 2010

Responsibility

I seriously hate people that lacks responsibility. You need to have some sence of urgency! But in any case, I believe that there is no such thing as hate. So may I say dislike? Anyway, I came up with a theory about first impression.

So, I think about it and derived that the very first time you meet someone, it sets your standard on them. So the first impression is very important to everyone. This will influence many things.

If a bad first impression was given, no matter how well you do, you will NEVER be redeemed. Thus, affecting the quality of work you give. And will start the vicious cycle on delaying and limiting responsibility and resulting in the sadistic mentality of us to seek revenge out of nothing. And will result in both parties undergoing stress.

But if you gave a good first impression, you will give high hopes to others and it is very difficult to put you down. But, if you are defamed in public(which I don't know how you will get into that position), that first impression will turn against you and again, you will NEVER be redeemed.

So lets see how simple the human mind is. They only believe what they want to believe. Listen to what they want to listen. Destroy in the name of justice. I believe we are always contradicting ourselves. How responsible we are.
God8:54 PM

--- Thinkin' back ---