First day of school for the kids again and I am just so excited. Its the first time for Corilynn and when I look at her I think, "she is so big and ready for this." I didnt think that with Lyman but maybe that is because he was my first.
A few days ago I dreamt that I had married a man that made me miserable. That we had married and I had a horribly lonely and sad marriage that only lasted a few years. Because of being so caught up in my own world of misery, I had lost touch with all of my friends. Years after my painful divorce, I found myself still without friends because we had lost touch so long before. In the dream I was at someone's house where I happened to see their wall cork board filled with a couple of wedding invitations. They were the invitations to the weddings of my lost friends. I had not received any invite and it made me sad because I was so lonely and then I noticed one was from a friend I had heard had had a similarly miserable first marriage. She was marrying again and had found happiness again. I couldn't take anymore of it. I ran from the house sobbing because I wondered when I would find my own happiness. As I broke in a round of gut wrenching sobs I was awoken suddenly by the flop of a two year old's arm across my face. Suddenly reality hit me - I was married. So blissfully and happily married that I nearly sobbed again but for relief. I had 3 wonderful children who I loved dearly and a set of friends who love me. I was not in that lonely existence but most of all - I had the most wonderful husband whom I had been with for 10 years. It was the happiest, most blissful feeling I have experienced in a long time.
I am so blessed and grateful for my husband who shares with me today our 10th anniversary of dreamlike forever happily ever after.
