Church Widow

First off, I hate that term.  It implies that my husband is not in my life anymore due to his new calling at church.  Gone he is a lot, but he is definitely still present in our lives.  Andy was called a little over a month ago in to the bishopric in our ward.  Although some of the time demands are not different from his previous calling, this one is making him gone more. 

I am and always have been an Andy hoarder.  I love my time with him, cant get enough and don't like to share it much.  When we are on vacation I want to spend as much time with him as possible.  When he is at home I want to be doing things with him even if it means I am sitting outside on the porch just watching him mow the lawn.  I usually get very frustrated when things take him away from home very much - working OT, traveling for work, callings etc.  I'm selfish that way - I like him around to help me with the kids and sit next to me while I watch a show on TV. 

This calling has meant that every Sunday as essentially become an Andy Mirage day.  Where I can see him at a distance (upon the stand, talking to someone etc) but he is almost unreachable.  Ha ha ha - today was literally like a mirage cause I would see him, try to walk to him to give him something or tell him something and get side tracked by one of my billion children and look up and he is gone.  It was sort of funny.  He is off to meetings early, at various Sunday School classes during church, on the stand during Sacrament meeting and busy after church.  Tonight he had a baptism to attend to, a youth fireside and a few other things. 

I have not felt neglected by his increased absence.  I haven't felt jealous, or frustrated at being left to fend for myself against the throngs of children in our house.  I haven't felt any of the irritations I have felt with various other callings or work related tasks that have taken him away from me.  I cant explain it other than that I know that God is supporting me and allowing me to manage the tasks I have to.  I hope this feeling lasts since I know this isn't a temporary calling.  More than likely we are looking at several years.  I keep wondering if I will break down and wish it would end but so far I just love seeing Andy grow from having to be more out there socially and having to address the needs of the ward.  He looks so in his element which is surprising to both of us.  Neither of us would have thought it would be so natural for him to serve and interact with so many people.

That isn't to say that it isn't hard on me.  I wake up alone on Sunday, get the kids up alone, drive to church alone, sit alone, drive home alone, feed the kids alone, hopefully get a short break when Andy gets home at around 3pm, and then often times am alone during the evening hours as he is swept away to something else, then I put the kids to bed alone......The day is a lot of alone.  Even so, just because something is hard doesn't mean it's impossible.  Ha ha, though I do think I can really relate to Elastigirl better now and I can feel myself being stretched in many tiny directions.

Onward we go, I suppose.

Thankful Thursday

I feel particularly disconnected from the world right now.  I got very little sleep last night due to Ruby's choice to be inconsolable for about 3 hours last night from 1-4 AM.  I've got that tingling nerve feeling all up my arms from exhaustion and I am wishing I hadn't gotten to bed after 11:30.  I'm not sure what to do with this situation.  Recently she has switched from sleeping entirely through the night from 8-6 to waking up somewhere before 3 and crying hysterically.  I wonder if she is having stranger anxiety like episodes where she wakes up and then gets afraid that we are not there.  Though during the day she doesn't seem to have any problem with other people holding her.  I just don't know.  My inability to think around the problem is probably due to the road trip back into Lackofsleepville.  Andy, who is usually dead to the world of baby sounds at night has even been waking up to her screams. 

In another area, I am seriously lacking motivation on my goal for 150 Miles to Zion - where I am trying to run 150 miles before December 31st.  I haven't lost any weight from it and even though that was never my "goal" in it - I think it could help booster my motivation right now if it were happening.  I am about 1/3rd of the way through my miles and every time its my "run" day I feel like I am trying to tread through syrup to get my limbs to even attempt doing exercise.  It could be better if I could just taste the syrup not just feel it - then you know it would be like a sugar boost.  :)

Anyway, it is Thankful Thursday and these are the things on my mind.  I want to think of something positive about either one of these that I can be thankful for.  So here goes with the Ruby issue.  I am thankful my other daughter Corilynn has a twin bed that is huge for her that I can take a spare pillow and lay on it in the middle of the night when Screamfest 2010 stops and starts up.  And about my running: I am thankful that I have a good sports bra.  There that is all I can muster at present for that.

Ruby's Half Birthday

Dear Ruby,

You are already half a year old!  I cant believe it.  Where did the time go and how did you manage to grow so big.  Actually you haven't grown big.  You are still pretty tiny size wise.  You are only 14 lbs and so you are in the 10th percentile.  This means you are such a skinny mini.  You are also 26 inches long!  Good job growing those legs.  This length puts you at the 50th percentile.  You are so little but you are all over the place.  The doctor said considering your father is a walking toothpick and the fact that your Mommy was only 17 lbs at one year - she isn't too concerned.  Plus you just don't stop moving! Just to be careful though, we are going to check your weight again in a month.

You love to spend time on the floor scooting around with your army crawl.  Anything that makes noise or is shiny will attract your notice and you don't stop watching it until you can grab it and put it in your mouth.  You are my youngest baby to try to crawl by several months.  You will hold yourself on your hands and feet and do a plank for minutes at a time wiggling your little bum in the air.  You have started to eat baby food now.  Which means you are starting to not be a baby to me.  You like any of the grains - rice, oatmeal, barley.  You have also tried bananas, sweet potato and peas.  You are not a fan of the bananas or the peas but the sweet potatoes were yummy.  Feeding you baby food can be tricky sometimes because if your thumb meanders to close to that open mouth of yours - slurp! in it goes.  We have to pull your thumb out of your mouth to get back to feeding you the food.  You are sleeping nearly through the night and you often wake up in such a happy mood that you babble and talk to your siblings through the crib for a long time before wanting out.

Your favorite game is peek-a-boo and your giggle is so contagious when we play it with you sometimes we cant stop playing it before our mouths hurt from smiling.  You still love to be around people and prefer to snuggle into my neck when you are tired.  Lucky for you, you have lots of people in your family that love to snuggle you.  Some of the nicknames we now call you are : Rubes, Ruby Dubes, Dooby, and Baby Tiny.  Our favorite is Rubes and Dooby.  When Daddy comes home from work he likes to carry you around the house wherever he goes for a long time.  You still have a toothless grin which I love and your hair is growing in thick with almost a reddish tint! 

We love you Dooby and simply cant wait to see what part of your world you will discover next!

Love, Mommy

Happy Dad's Day!

Happy Dad's day to the awesome Dad of my kids.  He is really such a great dad.  He shows them all the little bugs and creatures outside and will hold Corilynn tight when she is afraid of them all.  He will play light sabers with Lyman and play Princess Leah with Corilynn.  He will refuse to put Ruby down when he needs both hands because he doesn't want to let her go.  He teaches them about the gospel and how to become good people.  He reads the scriptures to them every night and helps them to learn the stories.  Lyman's favorite thing about dad is "he's nice to me, he gives me hugs." Corilynn loves that her dad "snuggles her and plays with her."

Sometimes I Worry

Sometimes I worry...
...that I don't know what I need to do to raise kids that love each other.
...that I might not be able to keep them from harm.
...that someday when they grow up and move away - they may not want to visit me.
...that I am not doing enough to teach them the things they need to know to turn to the right sources for comfort.
...that when I am older and gone - will my kids want to still keep in touch with each other?
...that I yell too much and hug not enough.
...that I'm going to make mistakes as a mother that I cant fix.
...that my kids are going to grow up and make their own choices and I may not like some of them.
...that some of the choices they make may break my heart.
...that one day my kids are going to read this and realize I didn't know everything.
Sometimes I worry....

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful that we are home in our own beds.  Every time I crawl into our bed I am grateful for having invested the money into a little piece of heaven. 

I am also thankful for the sunny day we are supposed to have tomorrow.  Kiddie pool will come out. I will play too and I will concur this horrible farmer's tan.  :)

Canada: That place to the north

Oh, Canada!
We just got back from our trip to the great wilderness north of us - a land they call Canada.  It was a 10.5 hour drive from our home in America to our first destination in Montreal, QC Canada.  We took 12 hours to drive it because we stopped once in Palmyra, NY to see the church historical sites.  After a few days in Montreal - where the boys got to go to the Formula 1 Racing Grand Prix of Canada, we traveled 3 hours farther into the wild north to a small city called Quebec.  That place was amazing.  The city was so rich with history and beauty.  The buildings and streets of Old Quebec were breathtaking with their little cobblestones and old style buildings.  It was such a lovely place.  After only just a day there we embarked on our journey to discover America again and to tackle the 13 hr drive back home.  I have broken up our trip in pictures in the following posts in greater detail.

But first, a review of Canada. 
Maybe it was because we were touring the province of Quebec mostly, where they speak French but I was surprised how much Canada DID feel like a different country.  We have friends from different parts of Canada and it never seemed like they were very different in their culture to us.  So I expected to go to Canada and feel like everything was much the same as the US.  That didn't happen.  In fact it was sort of an unshaky feeling to have a gruff Canadian mounty question our motives for wanting to see Canada before letting us enter.  Then once you get in the scenery even looks different.  Untouched, wild and natural.  It was beautiful and it made me wonder if that is what our landscape would have looked like just south of the "border line" if we didn't have it all broken up into farms and ranches.  Though even as I was thinking how pretty and untouched it was I was proud of our industry down south.  It was a weird combination of feelings. 

Where Canada is wild and free in its wilderness - it is tight and restrictive on its taxes.  Woah!  There is like 3 different taxes put on everything you buy and gas is almost twice as expensive in Canada than it is in the states -25% of the price of gas being taxes.  Maybe we can work out a deal with Canada to let us go across for medicines cheap and them come across for cheap gasoline.  Maybe this is why even with a very stable economy Canada struggles to get and keep their dollar above ours in value.  Everything is more expensive in Canada.  It made me miss the "Land of the Free" terribly.

Canada is funny.  Everyone knows it.  That is why it is so easy to make fun of the Canadians - like call them America Jr.  There were so many funny signs and things in Canada that we were laughing the whole way -which helped a lot when we saw our vacation money go down the Canadian government tax toilet.  Anytime we needed the kids to do something or not to do something else we warned them not to do that because "Canada doesn't have...(insert any number of things: washing machines, etc)"  It didn't help the situation that they speak french in that part of Canada either.  The french are so easy to make fun of.  Be sure to check out the blog post on the funny things we took pictures of during our trip. 

The people of Canada were beyond polite.  They were lovely.  Everyone was so helpful and so courteous.  They are really a very nice people.  I wished we had more Americans like them.  Their real concern for others has spilled into other habits there.  We went to the grocery store there to stock up on delicious Canadian chocolates and other goods and EVERYONE there shopped with the reusable shopping tote bags.  They even had machines in the stores to recycle the cans - and its like the change machines at the stores - you deposit your cans and you get money back for them.  I can see how it makes people inclined to recycle.  There is a real "green' initiative there.  Recycle bins in your own hotel room?  Cool.

The french speaking.  Ummm I can't for the life of me understand french - the language takes 26 letters of the alphabet and chooses at least half of them to be silent and the other half to make the wrong sounds.  They speak it in Quebec and so luckily most of them could also speak English.  I had one time in the hotel in Quebec where I called the housekeeping to request something and the guy answered in French.  Usually then all I had to say was "English?" and they would respond in English.  However I think this guy did try to respond in English and for the life of me I could not understand a word of it.  I had to call the front desk to have them relay the message since I couldn't understand it at all.  It was like that part of Finding Nemo where Squirt (the little turtle) is giving instructions to Marlin and Dory on how to exit the East Australian Current and Marlin says "Its like he is trying to talk to me, I know it." {then to Squirt} "Look, you're really cute, But I cant understand what you're saying. Say the first thing again."

Click "older posts" to make sure you see all of our Canadian Adventure posts.

Canada: Temples and Palmyra

On our way to Canada we drove right by Palmyra, NY and took about an hour and a half to visit some of the church historical sites.  Here are a few of us in Joseph Smith's childhood cabin home.

The boys walking through the Sacred Grove.  Its so pretty there.

Temples are such beautiful buildings and we really enjoyed getting to see and show the kids two of the temples in the world.  Here is the Palmyra, New York Temple.

We also spent a few hours combating the Montreal, QC traffic to get to the Montreal, Quebec Canada Temple.

Canada: Bridges to Nowhere

There are sooo many bridges in Canada.  Probably cause they have a lot of rivers but still they are always a bit scary for me but also very pretty.  I have a love/hate relationship with them.  There is one you have to cross to get into Canada from the US on the route we took.  It is called the 1000 Islands Bridge.  Let me just say that we are now in love with the "1000 Islands" resort/vacation spot.  It is the most beautiful place Ive seen.  It is like its name, thousands of little islands with private cottages and cabins surrounded by beautiful, pristine, blue lake water.  You rent a boat and pull up into your private dock... we promised ourselves we would vacation here someday.  We even daydreamed a bit once we got to the hotel and looked it up.  Its not even that expensive. Sure you can go crazy expensive but the range even expands down to camping in a tent.  So its on our list and we are going to vacation at the 1000 Islands region.  Look it up and go there. 

Anyway, I let beautiful scenery distract me from the scary bridges.  The 1000 Islands Bridge is a billion feet high and is as steep a climb as driving straight up a cliff face.  Oh and did I mention that it is a two lane bridge and that other cars are coming at you from the other direction across a span of 3 feet to drive?  Well this is a little bit of an exaggeration but mostly its not.  The bridge was scary at the same time it was totally amazing.  I tried to keep my focus on the beautiful views from it of the 1000 Island area and keep Andy's focus straight ahead on the road lest we drive off and vacation there earlier than we had planned.

I hope you got the idea with the pictures - the bridge was crazy.

Once we got into Montreal we found that the city has almost as many bridges as it has run down buildings with graffiti.  It was sad to see how the city looked like it was falling apart.  We got lost several times in the the city going to different things and so we got a pretty large view of the place and it all had graffiti and it all had buildings falling apart.  Oh and the traffic there is terrible.  We were there for the Formula 1 race so Andy and Lyman could go to it.  Otherwise - in my magnificant tourist expert opinion - cross Montreal off your list of places to see before you die.

Canada: If you're funny and you know it...

For when you need your drywall finished - but not finished well.  It's smooth enough!

We saw this sign 1 mile to Mexico about 5 miles before the Canadian border.  Ohh shoot, we've been driving the wrong way!  So close!

Drove behind this guy through the streets of Montreal for a while.  Who drives radioactive stuff around in a minivan?  Apparently this guy. Did I mention we drove with this guy through a residential area?

Everything is in french there.  All the signs were in french.  However apparently the British concurred this street corner in the middle of Montreal the best because it got a stop sign in English.

A couple of things: Corilynn is standing in front of a pretty rude t-shirt to cover it up for the other ones.  The Ferrari nock off shirt is funny because of the moose instead of the horse.  And the Evolution of a Canadian shirt is actually very educational.  Apparently the Canadians were descendants of monkeys.  That explains a lot.  :) jk

Does the "teen burger" come with extra hormones, raging out of control, pimples and a side of narcissism?

Canadians have exclusive tow trucks.  Le Mater.

These stores are everywhere in Canada.  Every time I saw them I thought they were a Costco of feminine products.

Ahh the french.  This sign says "for rent" and they are everywhere around Montreal.  However every time we saw them the U looked liked a V and it looked like an advertisement for getting "someone special".  Call this number for a lover.

This sign says"Are there handicapped services and telephones in the Angola, NY service station?  We don't know?" 

Citizens of Hamburg, NY are called Hamburgers.  Just sayin'.

Canada: Grand Prix

Canadian Grand Prix of Canada

"I thought the cars would be noisy, but I didn't think they would be that noisy" Lyman

Lyman's self portrait.

Shortly after taking this picture Lyman was playing with a water jet that was shooting water decoratively like a fountain into the river.  He decided to use his flip flop (the only pair of shoes we brought for him to CA) as a blocker for the water jet.  However the water jet was stronger and the shoe lost and was donated to the middle of the river. RIP flip flop.

Canada: Quebec City

When we arrived into Quebec we took a ferry (car and all) across the river.  The kids (including Andy) thought it was pretty cool. 

The hotel we didn't stay at because it was the type of hotel you don't waste on three kids.  Its the type you can enjoy without them.  Very fancy and romantic.

If you look at this picture in the bottom center there is a few balconies with folded black canopy umbrellas with white tops.  We ate at this restaurant later in the day -its called "Side by Side" only in french.  It was a delicious place to eat- fall off the bone tender ribs and smoked meat with fresh cut fries and house dressing for dipping.  It was right on the river and very pleasant.  Across the street at the bottom of the picture is the dock.

Corilynn running back to us after putting a few coins into the sax player's bucket.  He played the pink panther for her after that.

The British beat the French for possession of Canada.  We can solute that.

Corilynn wanted a picture under the princess canopy.  I am going to photo shop her name into it.

The beautiful streets of Old Quebec.  It is the oldest city in North America - being about 400 years old.

We played with the shutter of our camera to take some neat shots of the city at night from our hotel room.

Number one point of Quebec: Go there. Go there. Go there. Go there.  Its so beautiful and romantic and pretty.