New Blog

I have been increasingly frustrated with Blogger over the last few months. I have been completely unable to change my template, including changing pictures on my header and side bar. I have wanted to put pictures of Joshua on my side bar for quite some time but couldn't do so. Blogger wants me to pay to put pictures in my blog, which I refuse to do. I find it ridiculous and unnecessary. I have been debating for some time about what to do about it. I refuse to pay to keep my blog but the idea of redoing my entire blog was overwhelming. Some people use photo sites for their pictures and then just link those sites to their blog. All of which seems like waste of time. I hit my wall yesterday when I tried to post a picture - yes, ONE picture - and I was told I had reached my quota for pictures. My choices were to either pay for more space, delete the pictures I already have or continue without uploading pictures. I didn't like any of my options. At some point I would like to print out my blog as a keepsake but I don't want to spend the money on it right now. In the end, I decided to start a new blog at Wordpress. I know Wordpress has a quote on pictures too but I am hoping I will have enough time before having to make a decision. (More than likely, I will just create a new e-mail address, which will allow me to create new blogs.) I can import my Blogger blog into Wordpress but that would defeat the idea of wanting to conserve space. So I will just start a new blog. I will probably put a link to this blog on my new blog. My new blog will not be private and at some point I will probably make this blog public as well.

So, without further ado, my new blog is at    http://kaleymeister.wordpress.com/     It will take some time for me to get used to Wordpress so please be patient. It has taken me all night to create this new blog and it is really basic right now. But it should allow me to customize the blog as I want to and continue to put pictures up.

New life with new son and a new blog. Lots of changes LOL!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I am blessed beyond measure but I most thankful for my silly, creative, kind and loving little boy. He has single handily taught me patience, humility and true joy. I am thankful for the opportunity to begin this journey again with another little soul. I hold him in my heart right now but soon will be able to hold him in my arms.

 

 

Are We There Yet?

And the roller coaster continues. For those who aren't familiar with China adoption, the next step for me is to get Article 5 approval. It is dropped off at the US Consulate in Guangzhou, China and, like clockwork, is picked up two weeks later by a courier working for my agency. It is a very standard, predictable part of the process. It gets delivered a day or two after the last step, which was on Nov, 9th.

Except of course, as predictable as this process is, it is still adoption. Which means nothing is predictable or guaranteed until your child is home and the adoption is finalized.

I had been bugging my agency all week last week to find out if my Article 5 had been dropped off. I got word yesterday that the Consulate was requiring a new document - the Abandonment Certificate - before they would accept my paperwork. There was no notice and no warning. They simply stopped accepting paperwork until this document was included. The Abandonment Certificate is usually given to families after finalization. It is issued by the orphanage so my agency was trying to get the orphanage to issue the document ASAP. I'm sure they didn't have it simply laying around, as they had not anticipated needing it for several more weeks. This wasn't affecting just me, but other families with other agencies as well.

As my mother said, "Why is it always the Consulate?" For those who weren't around or don't remember, it was the Kazakhstan Consulate who single handily derailed my adoption from Kazakhstan in 2008. He simply stopped processing dossiers, with no explanation whatsoever. I waited nearly a year before finally changing to domestic adoption. And all we could think was, "Here we go again. A Consulate having a direct impact on whether I have a child or not." Truth be told, it took a lot of self control to keep from jumping into that pity party.

The reality is, it makes perfect sense for the Consulate to want to have proper documentation that  a child has been abandoned and, thus available for international adoption. And apparently there were some issues a few weeks ago with families in China when the Consulate found "irregularities" in their paperwork. The thought from our end was that this was the Consulate's way of making sure the paperwork was in order before a family travels, rather then causing panic and confusion when a family is already sitting in China, with their child in tow. Makes perfect sense to my head. My heart was another matter. (For the record, as far as I know, all families came home with their children as scheduled. It just caused for some scrambling before they left China.)

I did the math and figured if it took another week to get the certificate, there was no way I would be traveling this year, which meant there was a possibility I wouldn't get the adoption credit. After some soul searching, I finally came to terms with it. I really had no choice, as I have no control over this part of the process whatsoever. I started making plans to travel in early January. I talked to my mom and stepdad that our travel plans may be delayed and the wheels started turning as we all began figuring out what needed to be done to make this work. Flying to another country for over two weeks with (sometimes) very little notice actually takes quite a bit of planning ahead of time, with various plans in place depending on when we actually leave. And, of course, it doesn't just affect me but everyone who is traveling with me and everyone who needs to cover for all of us while we are gone.

So while my head was spinning with the idea that there was no way I would be getting the adoption credit, I got a surprise e-mail from my agency this morning: My Article 5 had been accepted. It would be dropped off at the Consulate tomorrow and picked up Dec. 5th. Travel Approval usually occurs 1-4 weeks after pick up. Travel can occur anytime after that but usually happens 5 days to several weeks afterwards. More contingency plans were made as we scrambled to look at new timelines. Best case scenario, we travel Dec. 18th. Worst case, it will be in early January, with the likelihood being somewhere in between that. When finalization will occur is anybody's guess and it is that finalization that could determine if I get the adoption tax credit. For those who are not aware, the adoption tax credit is $12,600 this year. A big chunk of change and nothing to snuff about.

I am unbelievably excited that I am so close to traveling and bringing my son home. I have always known I would adopt again and have been planning this adoption literally since I adopted Zachary. It will be the accumulation of a 2.5 year process that once again saw many twists and turns. But I am also tired. I have weathered the emotional roller coaster so much better this time around but I am tired of being in process. I am tired of the uncertainty. I am tired of my private life being an open book. I am tired of the wondering and the guessing. I am tired of my life being on hold while we wait for Joshua to come home. I am so ready to just get on with our lives.

Two months from now I will have my son and he will have a family. I will be a mother of two. Instead of making multiple plans about traveling I will be making plans about therapy appointments and school assignments. I know it will be sometime before we all feel comfortable with our new normal. The tasks ahead of me to help Joshua transition to my home, attach to me and heal from his trauma are daunting. There are many times I have wished we could just skip the first year. And yet I am ready for this. My boys are ready. Joshua is already a part of our family even if he is not physically here. He is already in our hearts and is constantly on our minds. It is time to bring him home where he belongs. The sooner, the better.

Stressed

As long as I have you Grandpa

I know I haven't posted much lately. I have been crazy stressed and writing seemed like one more thing to do. I am totally stressing about finances. I was fortunate enough to get a grant from one of the organizations I applied to. I don't yet know how much it will be but whatever they give will be a huge blessing. I have a plan for the remaining money I need but with travel coming up soon the idea of spending all of this money has become somewhat overwhelming. I am also trying to plan what next year will look like and I know money will be tight until we all get settled in. I know it will all work out, because it always does. I have to keep reminding myself to look at the big picture and, as my blog says, to maintain perspective. I look at Zachary and am reminded of how much I enjoy being his mother. I know I will feel the same once Joshua gets home. But I admit it can be hard to keep perspective when trying to figure out how this is all going to work.

It hasn't helped that I have been sick the last couple of weeks. Turns out I had whooping cough and I also got a carpal tunnel diagnosis thrown in there for good measure too. Zachary and I got our immunizations on Wed. for China and they just wiped me out. I refused to take any days off of work so I have been dragging quite a bit. Zachary saw the eye doctor this week and she decided that it is time to do the surgery for his wandering eye (strabismus). I sat with my appointment open trying to figure out when on earth this was going to fit into our schedule. I debated about waiting until after Joshua comes home so I wouldn't have to take any extra sick days, as every day that I use between now and then is one less day I won't be paid while I am off. But in the end I decided that wouldn't be fair to either boy so the surgery is scheduled for Nov. 30th. Luckily this is supposed to be a relatively easy surgery, especially compared to the tonsils and adenoids drama that we went through earlier this year.

My frustration with my tiny house boiled over this morning as I looked at my living room and had no idea where I was going to put a Christmas tree. I actually have the same frustration every time I try to add something to the house and I was stressing this morning trying to figure out how to fit both boys clothes in the dresser and closet they have. In the end, this is really not the huge stressor I make it out to be but it seemed to be the final straw in what has been an already stressful week.

I decided this week that between now and when we go to China I was going to keep life very simple, partly for financial reasons but also because I believe Zachary and I need some down time before the chaos hits. We were going to go to the International Folk Fair in Milwaukee today. We would have had a great time but I just didn't want to spend the money or take the time. I still have a number of things I want to get down around the house before Joshua comes home and it gave us a chance to clean up a bit, plus gave Zachary some down time.

Instead, we spent the morning at home and then met up with some friends for bowling and supper at McDonald's. I got my baby fix, as her new 6 week old baby was there, we caught up on our lives and Zachary got to run around like a crazy person with the kids. It was exactly what we needed. Well, until he puked. On the dining room floor. Then in the bathroom. And yes, most of it missed the toilet. And I walked away saying, "Whew! So glad I didn't have to clean THAT up." I know, I know, such a bad person I am! But boy, that did a lot more to ease the stress than just about anything LOL!

This was Zachary's first time bowling and he was beside himself with excitement. He spent most if the day chattering on and on about it. Then at bedtime, he asked to say an extra prayer, "Dear God, when Joshua comes homes, let him be able to go bowling. And let him get more spares than I do". My heart literally melted right through the floor.

 

I am feeling very good about where Zachary is in terms of being prepared for Joshua to come home. He is as prepared as any child can be. He talks about Joshua constantly and every day asks when he is coming home. He is as excited as I am. We talked about it in counseling this week as well and I am hoping we can address it during the next couple of sessions before his therapist if off for awhile.  I know we will go through our rough patches and it will not all be fun. I also know that his attitude about his brother can change in an instant once he realizes what it really entails. However, I feel good about where he is now and I feel he is as prepared as he can be. 

Adding to much of my stress has been the push to get the adoption finalized before the end of the year. The adoption tax credit is set to expire at the end of the year. I know congress usually inevitably passes it but I can't help but worry about it. Getting that tax credit would make a huge difference in paying off Joshua's adoption, plus other expenses that will inevitably come up. I was doing really well with the wait but this is really messing with my head. On top of that, my agency had a very, very minor snafu this week. They wanted me to send some information which they had sent me. I sent it and then there was some confusion if that was enough. The end result is that I think I lost a week on getting my Article 5, which is the next step I am waiting for. Joshua's information is sent to the Consulate in China and once they have that - which takes a standard two weeks - they let China know (via my Article 5) and then China issues my Travel Approval (TA). Once I have TA, dates are set, plane tickets and hotels are booked and away we go. Sounds so simple on paper! Losing this week is really not a big deal in the big scheme of an adoption. But because I am bumping up against the end of the year and the possible loss of the tax credit (which, for those who don't know, is over $12,000) it feels like one more thing that is difficult. I am starting to think I won't travel before the end of the year and that adds a whole new level of uncertainty to this. 

In the big scheme of life, we will be ok. I just need to keep giving myself pep talks on what seems to be a daily basis. Breathe in. Breathe out. Perspective. By this time next year, this will all be a distant memory. As bad as Zachary's adoption process was, it no longer matters. This too will not matter once Joshua is home. Breathe in. Breathe out. Perspective.

Happy Birthday Joshua!

Joshua's birthday was on Wednesday. He turned 6 years old. I sent him a fruit birthday party, although I'm not sure how much of the fruit was actually eaten LOL! Every picture I get is so precious and these are the first pictures I've gotten where he is smiling. It is clear how much he enjoyed himself and my heart is warmed with every picture.

 

Somewhere along the way he thought it would be great fun to put frosting all over his face. I can tell he is going to fit in just fine!

Let me pose you just right ...

Wednesday night Zachary and I went out and celebrated as well. We went to our favorite Chinese restaurant, where the people know us well. Zachary insisted that we sing Happy Birthday over and over again because he was sure Joshua could hear us all the way in China. After dutifully singing all the songs I said, "We love you Joshua! Happy Birthday!" Zachary chimed in, "We love you Joshua! But we're still going to eat your cake!"

Some people really struggle with knowing their child is having another birthday without them. I have to say, being able to send him the party and then seeing the pictures made it a lot easier. I knew the day was special for him, even if I was not there to enjoy it with him. I have no idea if he knows the party was from me or if he even knows he has a family coming for him. It would nice if he knew it was from me, but seeing how happy he is on the pictures tells me that he knew he was special, if even for a short time. That makes all the difference in the world for me.