Healthy Lifestyle Panel...

So it's been way too long since I posted in this blog.  The last post I had only lost 25 lbs and was working towards my 40 lb goal...well I hit the 40 and am past that now.  I have lost 45 lbs!!!  I am working toward my 60 lb goal now.  Once I hit that mark we have decided to give myself a makeover just like they do with the contestants on Biggest Loser!  lol...although I'm not going to be doing anything too dramatic, cause I am trying to grow my hair out so I won't be cutting it too short and I am not one to put any extreme color in my hair besides shades of blond.  So it won't be huge but we are going to go buy a new outfit and get my hair and make up done so I'm excited!  I'm a girly girl so this will be super fun for me!  My ultimate goal is to for sure have this happen before Brady leaves for the West Indies but I am hoping to lose about 10 more lbs in the next couple weeks so we'll see what happens.  Got to get working hard again!

I was recently asked to be on a Healthy Lifestyle Panel for a Stake Relief Society Activity.  Kim Anderson has seen how much weight I have lost and thought I would be a good one to turn to, someone who can tell all those other women what it has taken me to get in to shape and lose all this weight.  The other day I received an email with the questions they are planning on asking the Panel and the questions really hit me.  It made me really start thinking about my reason for doing all of this again.  It's putting my life into perspective again!  I thought it might be cool to answer these questions for all of you who won't be able to hear me answer them at the Relief Society Activity!

SO...........

• What motivated you to change?

This one is the one the hit me the hardest when I first read the questions.  Because the truth is that Grandpa Smith was my motivation for the change.  When he died last year, I took it really hard.  He has always been a great example in my life.  He has always been there with his wisdom and great advice!  He was a stake president, a patriarch, a temple sealer and most of all an amazing husband and father!!  He was one of the men that I looked to and have watched for what I want in my future husband.  When he died I was crushed to realize that he wouldn't be able to seal me and my husband in the temple!  I was really looking forward to sharing that special moment with Grandpa but I let my weight get so out of control that no guys wanted to date me, little lone marry me!  After he died it was too late to have that special moment with Grandpa but I didn't want it to be too late for me to have the special moment with my husband!  All I have ever wanted was to get married and have my own family!  So when Grandpa passed away I realized what I needed to do to make my ultimate goal to have a family happen.  So putting that goal in my mind and deciding that I wanted a man just like my Grandpa is what motivated me to change!

• How did you feel before?

You know I always thought I was a happy person but looking back now I realize that I really wasn't.  I had a lot of friends but I've never had many dates or any boyfriends.  And when my friends did active things I always had a hard time getting myself to participate and when I did participate I was never able to keep up with them.  I spent many nights crying about boys, and don't get me wrong even after losing some weight I've still had a few times where I've cried about boys.  Just because I have lost this weight doesn't mean I'm automatically going to get what I want.  But I have to say that before I never had some of the opportunities that I have had now.  I wasn't in a good place before.

• What has been the hardest part...and/or what obstacles have you encountered in making/maintaining a healthier lifestyle?

Well I think that the hardest part is keeping up with it all.  There are times when I slip and eat a bunch of crap or days when i don't workout at all.  But what I always remember and what my trainer has constantly reminded me is that tomorrow is a new day.  Just because I slip one day doesn't mean I'm a horrible person or that I'm totally going to lose it again.  I just constantly have to refocus and remember that I can do it!  I have made it this far and I can't quit now!  It's really hard but this truly is a lifestyle change and no one is perfect you just have to constantly keep trying.  That goes for everything in life!  When we fall we can't stay down or our lives become worthless!  We have to get back up and move forward!

• How do you feel now?

I feel healthy, fit, and happy!  I am so so so much happier than I used to be!  I have a lot more opportunities and feel more comfortable doing things that I never dreamed I would have done!  Like running a 5k...it was such a thrilling and freeing experience!  I still wouldn't say I am in love with running but I like running and the way I feel when I do it!  I feel amazing!!!!!

• Explain how you have been able to find 'peace' toward your quest for better health/fitness?

I think I've been able to find 'peace' because I realize now that I was not meant to be a overweight.  I have so much to live for and knowing that I am no longer killing myself with the way I was living brings me great peace!  When my family used to tell me that I needed to lose weight I thought they were just embarrassed by me...that they didn't really care!  But a while ago I went on a run when Nate and I were still at school together before I had really got into running and at the end of our run Nate had told me how he was glad I came with him on the run because he didn't want me to die.  He wanted me to be active and stop killing myself.  I realize now that my family really does love me and they just want to see me live and not hurt myself anymore.  I was in real denial about how much I was hurting myself but through my family I have had support and been able to find the 'peace' that I didn't realize I needed!  Scripture study and prayer have also been a constant in my gaining happiness and peace as well!  My mom can attest to that.  When I had been slacking on my study and efforts my mom could tell, because I wasn't happy like I had been!  My family has really helped me find peace with this!  

So thank you to my entire family!  For your examples, for your support, for your prayers, and for loving me!  I couldn't have done any of this without you!  I look forward to visiting Bryson &Alyssa and Nate & Laurel and letting them see how much I have changed!  It's been a while since you've seen me in person and I don't think skype has really caught the change! lol.  Love you all!  :-)

Resolutions...

It's a new year!  I can't believe it's 2011 already.  Crazy!  Well obviously I have some repenting to do.  lol...in my last post I said I was going to try to write something every day.  Haha...sorry I lied!  I haven't written in like 2 months.  Sorry Guys!  Well I have to report that I didn't quite reach my Goal # 3 but I worked hard right before break and was at about 25 lbs lost right before Christmas.  However, I have some catch up I have to do because I let myself slack during Christmas. :-(  Why do the Holidays have to bring such YUMMY treats?!?!  Soooooo not fair!  Well I didn't back track that much during break but I do have to work hard if I want to make it to my next big goal.  Which, to be honest, I'm not sure if I will be able to do.  I am heading to Utah in a little over a month and I'm hoping to have lost 40 lbs by then.  I want everyone who I haven't seen since I left to be amazed when they see me!  :)  Most people (friends and roommates) down there, don't know that I have been losing weight.  So it's going to be fun to see their reactions!  But it would be more fun if my weight loss was even more dramatic than 25 lbs.  Anyway that's my new goal so far.  Wish me luck!  Oh and when I hit 30 lbs I have a new shirt that I get to wear.  It's hanging up in the hallway trying to get me motivated again! :)

I got some fun new things for Christmas!  I don't think I've ever been excited when I got workout things for Christmas!  I've definitely got them for Christmas before but didn't ask for them and most the time didn't use them! lol...sorry mom!  But I got a new work out outfit!  Now I can feel cute when I work out!  I also got a set of 10 lb hand weights, a cordless jump rope (amazing cause I don't trip over a rope), and an Ipod arm holder.  So when I go running I can take my tunes with me!

Well that sums up most of what you have missed.  But another thing that is going to affect my work out schedule is my NEW JOB!!!  Yup I am now a Speech-Language Pathologist at Steilacoom School District!  It's quite a drive so I have to wake up early.  But I do get off earlier than most jobs because it is at a school.  Except, today was the first day and it has already exhausted me!  I'm not sure if I'm really going to be able to work out right when I get off work like I was hoping!  Well I guess i'll just have to figure it out and make something work.

Anyway hope you all had a amazing Christmas and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with this better! :)  Love you all!