cha-ching.

It's expensive to adopt. I'm sure you know that though.

 ...but I've been surprised by how inexpensive it is compared to my expectations. Since some of you have mentioned interest in adoption and have even asked about the financial side of the process, I hope this serves to encourage you if you'd like to add to your family through adoption.

Our agency (please email me and ask if you want contact info) is almost half as expensive as other international agencies. Why? They want to keep costs lower so more families can afford to adopt - or adopt more children.

For many who might consider adoption, the financial aspect seems to be a huge deterrent.  It's expensive.  Period.  You may have heard nightmare stories of families getting into huge financial trouble due to an adoption.  I know I have.  But I also know I serve a God who has called us to care for the orphan (James 1:27) and He is ultimately our Provider.  So far we have had to make "sacrifices" (I use that word very lightly) to make this happen, but we know it will be worth it when we bring our child home.

An amazing and surprising part of this whole journey has been the people the Lord has moved to help us.  Without getting into too many specifics, all the help many of you have provided has truly meant a lot.

Now, without further ado, the financial break-down.

  250   Application fee to agency
1800   Processing fee to agency
    10   DVD of waiting children
1850   Homestudy (however, an average cost for homestudy is 2000)
    20   State Police to have fingerprints done to send to (next item)
  100   State Treasurer to process fingerprints for criminal background check
    15   Child Protective Services to verify we've never had history with them
    30   State Police to get  notarized copies of our background checks
------
4075   Costs already paid

  670   Visa petition for child
  160   Fingerprinting for an FBI background check
3200   Placement of child fee
  400   Visa issuance for child
4000   Travel Costs for required two week stay in country to file paperwork to bring the child home (this is the agency's average but it fluctuates based on time of year for buying plane tickets and hotel)
  900   Post placement social worker reports (three of them) sent to the country
  ???    Trip to the country's nearest embassy in the U.S. one year after bringing the child home to be interviewed and finalize the adoption (we will not have officially adopted our child until this point!)
-------
9330 Estimate of expected costs


13,405 TOTAL Estimated Costs 

All these costs are based specifically on the country we're adopting from and the agencies we are using to process our adoption and complete our homestudy.  They could vary greatly depending on either of those factors.  From personal research I have seen many domestic adoptions costing more than our expected total, so it's not always more expensive to adopt internationally as I assumed.

Something to keep in mind is the U.S. govt gives about a $12,000 tax credit for each child adopted. The kicker is, you can use this amount over four years! Let me give an example to clarify. Say you adopt a child and owe $2000 in taxes for the year. You would owe no taxes due to the credit, then also have $10,000 credit to be used toward the following three years. Depending on your tax situation, that could be a really great deal!  Then again, if you purchase a home and have other deductions for the year, you may not benefit from this credit.

I'm surprised if I have many readers still with me at this point.  This is not exactly the most exciting reading, but I hope it's been insightful for those of you genuinely interested in adoption.  Please send any further questions my way if I still left you with some.  I am happy to help or point you in the right direction.

Blessings, angela

let's be merry.

One last post of pictures of Christmas, then I'm gearing up for the financial break-down of adoption.  I didn't want to total it up before Jesus' birthday -- let's keep the spotlight on the real reason for all this merry-making just a little bit longer.

But first, I must share with the blogworld my awesome husband sporting an iceskating themed vest at his work Christmas party.  Unfortunately, he didn't win the prize for tackiest outfit.

Never seen a man look so good in a sweater vest.  Ever.  :)

Every Christmas Eve after the Christmas Eve service, K reads the Christmas story of Jesus to the kiddos.  Peanut really understood this year that we were celebrating Jesus' birthday, that we get to share in the celebration by giving gifts and decorating our home.  It was my most fun Christmas to date because the kids were so involved in the whole celebration!

We hardly spent anything on gifts because of the adoption, so it was an added blessing that the grandparents had fun buying for the kids!  Peanut and Buddy were thrilled to finally figure out that we actually got to open the "decorations" that had been under the tree for weeks.  This year we decided to open gifts after church so Christmas morning would be a little less chaotic and we could take our time.

Buddy sat patiently watching as each gift was opened.

Then he opened his Indian gift set from Uncle Drew...

and I think he may be ready to play for our next family powwow.  Really.

So you didn't know or couldn't tell I'm part Indian?  (I really am, but no, we don't go to powwows, although I have convinced many people of that over my almost 30 years.  Sorry to disappoint you if you still thought so.)

Peanut took it upon herself to tell lots of people this year "We get gifts from Santa because it's Jesus' birthday."  She said that just before she told them, "I'm getting a pink princess scooter for my birthday.  It's in the top of my mom's closet."  Guess it's not a good idea to buy a birthday gift for her, in her presence.  But it was on big time sale for Christmas and I hoped she would forget!  Doubtful.

The first of many rounds of her new Ladybug Game from Pops and Grandma, while wearing the flapper dress-up outfit from Papa and Juju.  Fun times.

Christmas morning!  Peanut got a doll house my sweet friend Beth gave us.  It looks brand new and Beth didn't want to move it when they pack up next month.  Thanks Beth, for blessing us with it!  Buddy got a train table that Grandma Grace helped buy, which is also his birthday gift when he turns the big 2 in a couple weeks.  He loves it!

We really missed being with our extended family this year, but it was still a wonderful time of celebration.

I'm so grateful for my kids and being able to find new joy through their eyes as they took part in all our Christmas traditions.  We made a few new ones of our own this year that I'm excited to share with (hopefully) three kids next year.

We have a Christmas journal where we record what gift we would like to give Jesus for the coming year.  We think and pray about it before the big day, and then we have a time to share our "gifts" as a family.  For instance, last year I gave Jesus a pillow to symbolize spending time with him during the kids naptime, and Peanut said she wanted to give Him cake.  This year she wants to give Him prayers.  I went ahead and asked Buddy what he'd like to give Jesus, to which he replied enthusiastically, "Santa!"  Maybe by next year he'll have a better grasp.  At least it will make us laugh as we read back over it each Christmas.

One last picture from our Christmas dinner with our friends Mark and Ginny.

It was a tremendous blessing to share the day with them, and we are grateful Jesus blessed us with their friendship during the past year!

Hope your Christmas was very merry and full of Jesus.  Blessings, angela

hearts

We have a surplus of tiny candy canes at our house. Don't ask why. But I searched to find some candy cane craft ideas this week, and Peanut and I made up hearts to put on the tree for everyone in our family. Yes, there's five. Even though there hasn't been any official assignment of our waiting child, he or she is already taking up a huge part of my heart! I wish so much right now to have him or her here with us for Christmas instead of residing in an orphanage.

I don't know about you, but I have watched Annie one too many times. Still love that movie after all these years! I didn't see Miss Hannigan on the video of the children we received, thankfully, but I do wonder more and more about what the conditions are like. Where do they lay down to sleep? Do they receive comfort if they scrape a knee or wake up crying at night? Will they eat Christmas cookies this week or even get a gift?

Regardless of what our child already knows about Christmas, I am praying we will get to share it with three kids next year. I cannot wait for K to sit down on Christmas Eve and read about Mary and Joseph and tell how our glorious Savior began His life on earth in a humble manger. I can't wait to let all the kids go crazy with sprinkles on the Christmas cookies! I can't wait to see him or her run down the stairs with Peanut and Buddy to see what's under the tree on Christmas morning. I never realized how much more I would love Christmas as an adult... being able to stand back and watch it all through the eyes of my children. I am pretty sure I will treasure the memories of Christmas as a parent the most!

Earlier this week we went to Yankee Candle in Williamsburg and Santa made an appearance just before we were leaving.  The kids weren't exactly dressed up for a picture with the big guy, so I thought they could wave and then go.  Well, he walked out and kneeled down.  First, Peanut ran over and gave him a hug, then Buddy ran up and latched on.  Really.  He stood exactly as you see below for a good three minutes without letting go while Santa talked to other children.  I think Buddy confused the furry trim for his blankey, but Santa didn't seem to mind.

Right now we're in waiting mode as we await our homestudy to be finalized. Once that is completed by our social worker, we will be assigned to our child and be able to request an appointment to have FBI fingerprints and background checks done. That's why there hasn't been as much adoption talk here lately, but I have had requests for info about the financial side of our adoption. I will get to that shortly because I know that was one of my greatest questions before we began the process. I hope to break it down simply for those of you interested in adopting someday!

Oh, and I have to add that we finally got snow!! We live on the ocean edge of Virginia and it rained and rained all morning and finally turned to snow this evening. Peanut was not pleased that she couldn't go out and play in it in the pitch dark, but hopefully it will stick around in the morning!

Celebrating the incredible gift of Jesus, angela

it's about time.

Finally, I figured out how to load the video from my last post! ...and I thought while I was at it, I would throw in another that should make you smile. Merry Christmas!

K was away for work a lot of last week and just before he returned, "Mary" rigged up this costume. I love it when I grab the camera in time! (that's Buddy's striped snow hat and a little strip of satin cloth)

Then right before K walks in the door, they change into pjs and Peanut decides they are still playing their roles. She re-adorns the Mary get-up for greeting Daddy, then they hop onto their "donkey" for the ride to Bethlehem. Glad the donkey showed up just in time. It was going to be a long walk...

Blessings, angela

tiny little tots with their eyes all aglow.

Peanut's debut on stage was last Sunday.  Seriously, she was cast in the role four days prior, so I wasn't sure what to expect.  The show was Miracle on Main Street, and many of my friends' kids did an excellent job memorizing lines and song after song.  I was impressed!  Toward the very end of the show, the nativity entered for only about a two minute scene.  Simple.  Walk out and stand and then walk back.   

Peanut enters and stands for about ten seconds like a deer in headlights.  So far so good.  Then she catches sight of someone she knows and begins waving with  ridiulously great excitement.

Then she continues to look around until she spots us near the front and waves more.  Unfortunately, we didn't get pictures of when she turned around to show off her wings to the crowd.

Notice all the other kids stood perfectly still, except one of the other angels who flapped her arms flying for a bit.  Mary paid perfect attenton to baby Jesus the entire time.  She will make a really good mother someday for sure!

Peanut with her sweet friend J.

Ty gets lots of attenion from A.  She came home to live with her forever family from Russia last year with two brothers.  It was so neat to see her brothers along with kids adopted from Ghana and China up on stage singing that night.

Miss Barbara, our friend from church who is our adopted grandma, left this hat for the kids to play with.  Ty's been wearing it around saying "Ho Ho Ho!  Merry Chriss-us!"

Nope, we're not tiny little tots, but we got away from the tots for K's work Christmas party last weekend.  It was a really fun, late evening!  (I'm getting old because, honestly, we were home by 11:30.)

Enjoy this beautiful time to celebrate the best gift of all - Jesus, my Savior!  Blessings, angela

surprises

Who knew a little tray of cinnamon rolls would bring tears to my eyes? 

So, we go to dinner Wednesday nights at our church before Bible study.  It's wonderful to have dinner ready for us so we can eat and then get to study on time, plus it's an extra excuse to hang out with friends mid-week.  Personally, the best thing about dinner is the homemade rolls, and I've been sure to make it known how much I enjoy them.  I have never been brave enough to try baking with yeast ever since a mishap many, many years ago.  So a couple weeks ago, some of the servers sent me home with a huge bag of leftover rolls.  We got to talking and I mentioned I must like them so much because they remind me of the bread in my mom's cinnamon rolls.  She only makes them for Christmas, so they are extra special and each bite is savored.  I get happy just thinking about them!  They said I must be excited to get them in a month, and I told them we won't be going home for Christmas because we are spending money on our adoption this year.  Chuck, one of the roll makers, tells me to bring him the recipe and he'd try to make them.  He called me thirty minutes ago and said he would stop by with cinnamon rolls!  They hardly made it in the door before I gobbled one up.  They tasted almost exactly like the original!  I think I may freeze enough for us to enjoy on Christmas morning. 

I don't tell you this story to make you feel sorry for us.  I want you to feel quite the opposite!  Yes, it is sad to think of yet another Christmas away from our families, because we haven't been home since our first year of marriage in 2002.  Any so-called sacrifice seems trivial when I think it would keep us from getting our child home sooner.   I know when we go pick him or her up, I won't be thinking about not being home for Christmas this year.  We'll just hope to be home with that child next year!

Another great surprise has been who the Lord has moved to donate to our yard sale.  I have been humbled by the outpouring of support to our family!  We have some awesome stuff (that I want for myself!) to sell in January, so anyone local please come check it out.  I will let you know when we set a date.  ...and if you have anything to donate, let me know and I will arrange pick-up.

The last thing to add to this post is I talked to J at our adoption agency, and she asked if we were still interested in a specific child whom I will call P for now.  I told her we definitely are and asked how soon we could view her medical files.  She has a condition requiring periodic doctor visits which I will share about once or if she is assigned to us.  J said the volunteer at the orphanage would take P to a doctor and send us the report.  We will be able to decide for sure once we see the report and once our homestudy is completed.  Our final homestudy is Friday and then takes a few weeks for our social worker to write up her report. 

Next post, Peanut's on-stage debut.  Blessings, angela

what it really means.

Today the much awaited dossier arrived.  Okay, so I'll admit that is a big word and I didn't know precisely what it meant until I just looked it up at dictionary.com.

dossier: a collection or file of documents on the same subject, esp. a complete file containing detailed information about a person or topic.

Mostly it means to me now:  tedium.

In preparing for the first round of paperwork, I read something about how we'd eventually feel like we were doing the same things over and over and over.  We already have five references for our homestudy and now we need two more written in a new format -notarized.  We made copies of our marriage license, passports and birth certificates before, and now we need to again - notarized.  We printed a copy of K's pay statement before, and now we need a letter from his boss saying he has a stable job - notarized.  We had physicals done to say we are capable of parenting, and now we need a special letter saying specific words from our doctor - yep, you guessed it - notarized.   There are 16 documents total to be notarized, so I hope the lady at the library with the stamp is friendly that day.  ...and maybe I'll bring her a cherry limeade to be sure of it. 

So, while I dig through this pile of papers, if you happen to live nearby and are digging through things at your house that you could donate to our yard sale, please let me know!  I'd love an excuse to set aside the papers and come take stuff off your hands to sell to help with our adoption costs.  We will likely have the sale in January. 

I appreciate how many of you are praying with us.  It is so encouraging!  Please ask the Lord to help us fill out the paperwork completely and without error.  I feel nervous as I fill it out because I don't want to make a mistake that will slow anything down!

Back to work.  Blessings, angela

already?

Yesterday brought an unexpected turn of events.  Let's review. 

11:00am I receive an email saying our Hague training was complete.  (Due to the country's requirements, we must complete 10 hours of parenting training that focuses on issues unique to adopted children.  What I thought of the training is another story that I will spare you.)  I forward our scores and certificates onto our social worker B and to J at the adoption agency.

3:00pm The kids are napping and I decide to call J to see if she needs anything else from us at this time.  I ask at what point will we talk with her about the specific children, and to my surprise, she says "Well, we can talk about that right now if you'd like to tell me which ones."  I hurry up and find my list and ask, "Do you want names or numbers?" since they are numbered 1 to 35 that correspond with the video of the children.  In my mind I'm praying Please, Lord, don't make me say numbers.  That seems so inhumane.  Thankfully J said she knows all the children and to tell her names.  I sigh with relief. 

I tell her the girl's name we are most interested in.  Immediately she says another family already asked questions about her.  It caught me off-guard that I seemed sad to hear that info...  I didn't realize I already had such love for this little girl I don't know except for a 30 second video!  J said the other family hadn't sent in an application yet, so she isn't sure whether they are still interested.  I list the other three names and J tells me all four children are still available.  As much as I like options, I sort of wish only one was still available to make our choice simple and since that would mean each child has a forever family waiting for them already. 

4:00pm K sends an email from work saying it's time to put in our request for where we'd like to move, with an expected move date between June and September 2010.  What?!?  I mean, I knew it was soon, but that soon?  I'm certainly not ready!

So, what does all this mean for the adoption?  We anticipated a possible move even before we began paperwork.  It is likely we will move, but there's also a chance we could stay a while longer. We won't know for a few more months.  We knew the Lord was telling us now was the time to begin the process, so we aren't confused about the timing.  Assuming we do move, we will have to complete an update to our homestudy so a social worker can inspect our new home to be sure it can still accomodate another child.  Plus, the address on our homestudy must be current in order to complete paperwork for our child to become a US citizen.  It would tack on another $2000 dollars, but we would be able to use that same homestudy to adopt another child within three years while we live there.  ...so we'll either pay to do the homestudy sooner or later when we begin the process again. 

8:00pm K and I sit down to watch the video of the children again so we can write down specific questions about the four kids.  J will forward them onto the social worker who works at the orphanage, who will answer them in reply.  Peanut comes over and asks, "Who are those kids?"  We explain a bit and she asks to watch with us.  We show her the four kids and tell her their names.  She then asks, "I like all of them!"  Sounds like a noble thought, but that many preschoolers at once under one roof might be a bit much.  I'm not ready to adopt myself into being the next Octomom.  With that, I'll conclude. 

Blessings tonight, angela