I've done things to you, terribly. I failed, I made you cry.
I've never felt so heartbroken.

Why do I always complain? BEcause I want you to know that I love you. You hurt me, badly, why are you so close to him? I know the reason, because you know him for so long... But, those actions, I seriously can't pretend nothing happened.

I don't hate him, I will still treat him the same before, that's why, I need your help to entertain him, but you gone too overboard. But I can't blame you, but still...

Give me time, I wanna reflect on my actions.

All I want is just a little peace, tomorrow will be our 3rd month being together.

3 months, seems just starting, to me, time flies.
What we have been through, it felt so extraordinary. I never felt it before.

Remember our 2nd month? We spent time at chalet and going out to play with Zhe Rui and Leonard, both are the small little cute terrors of your nephews.

Valentine's day, you made me a card, this card, will always be inside my wallet. Wherever I go, I will always glance at me when I'm free. I will always remember what you wrote inside.

I made you a cake, I do hope you like it, and I'm glad you did.
I love you, Faye Tan.

Labels: Reflection for myself.

Friends, will they be there for you?

I disagree, not everyone, especially THOSE.

I deactivate my facebook account, it's worst than friendster.

My friends bet with me that I will enjoy my secondary school life. Yeah I do, by force of saying yes.

But no, I don't like my secondary school life, life in express is the worst.
Knn, some teachers also bias, fucking dulan.

Even outside friends and some friends I've know is much more better than my classmates.

I've been tolerating, I've been quiet. I've been hurt, enough.

Some bonds are broken today, some bonds are meant to be like this. I hate THOSE
because they look down on people and also those who are teachers' favorite.

Who the fuck gave you the rights to insult me? Did I even offend you in the first place? Hong gan.

I don't know who can I turn to, not all. Some that can't be trusted, some are seriously just don't bother. Fuck, friendship forever? Over my dead body.

Baobei is busy with JPASE, I shouldn't bother her. CP is asleep. Gordon is asleep.
And some who I can really trust but I don't think it's good to tell them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



First day of work at NTUC.
OMG it's so fun! I can't wait to work! The people there is so caring and so much good! I think I'm gonna mix around with them. Working there is like a family.

Pay is average, but still I'm just gonna give all out just to work, I belong there.
No matter how hard the work can be, so long I'm happy, I'm good.

I hope tomorrow when I go ITE, Gordon and I can somehow persuade the manager!
Let's strive together, Gordon. My only friend soon brother that to be studying with me.

Got my O level result.

Wasn't really nervous, I knew my result wasn't gonna be sufficient for poly.
Fine, ITE.

I just think too much, glad that my friends and baobei supported me.

I promise myself, 9th Jan 2012 is the day where I fell, and April will be the day where I pick myself up and start a new life.

With the support from my beloves, I know that I must stay strong, I don't want to disappoint them.

Baobei, I promise, I'll study. <3

ILY.

A new life, new friends, new atmosphere, new environment, new looks.
A beloved girlfriend by my side, family that still supports me, friends that really cheered me up.

This is what I want in my life. I could not ask for more.

Today, 23rd December, my beloved cousin has left us, left the world --- To heaven.

She is a good cousin, she loved all the cousins so much and her siblings.

Memories with her will always be with us.

Thanks for teaching me stuffs like maths when I have problems! I love you!

I'm back to posting,

since no one or rather souls coming back to my blog, I shall post my personal stuffs.

I treat it like a diary.

Today went to fetch Faye, just when she reach, she call me "oi",

I heard it, I thought it was someone calling other people...

Then she call out multiple times, then I realise it's her...

To my surprise, she actually called me "oi", I was really kinda sad...

But I must have patiences... I told myself...

I really got a sour feeling... But I just couldn't show it...
neither should I even tell... It's gonna get ugly...

I really hope that she would call my name or something else which I wished for...
and really show concern to me...

Oh well, I must have patiences, I must really stop being sensitive, I must control.
It's better than letting her know that I'm sad. I love her.

I'm really tired, sometimes I wish I could just put down that "big stone" in my heart, it's really suffocating...

What I really want from her is just, showing concern, love and not ignorances...
Ah, let's hope that as time goes, she will become better, right Gim Hsiang? Jiayou okay? Don't give up! :D

Labels: Sad

My O levels has started...

The war has begun... I just wanna update for today, this year, many things had happened and went back the way they are used to be.

I just hope what I had wished for will come true and I'm definitely must be optimistic and stay positive!

Tomorrow is e-maths paper, I can't be nervous, stay calm, stay good and definitely it will turn out well (:

I'm just glad that I overcome the fear I have recently...
This fear had been already been with me for more than 1 year, it has been the greatest and difficult one to overcome.

The next fear I had has been with me since the day I'm in elementary school...

Gonna conquer it after my O levels, maybe spend a little time...

Just give me a little bit of time... Onces I fulfill it, I'll be left with no more fears until I encounter one...

I'm trying my best to know you inside out, you were so much of an influence for me. You must be wondering why...

Haha sorry sis for the late updating of your birthday (:

Assuming that it is still 15th March,(as now it is 5.03 a.m 16 March. Although date is stated 17 March because my computer clock ain't accurate xD)

Happy birthday again! (: Anyways, will upload photos taken on chalet of her friends, and MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :DDDDDDDDDD

After 'O' levels will start to active my blog again. Thanks (:

Labels: I didn't expect it turn out that way? :/

Haha Happy birthday Sis! :D

Good luck for your prelims! :D

I just want you to be happy....

I want to let you know that I always miss you.

That day till now, I still love you...

I wouldn't give up, I will keep strive, but currently you....

Only then I know that to woo you it's hard... Some day I'll tell you I miss you, I love you so much...

Only then, I would only express myself properly, some day where that day is the day you.. ..

Chinese New Year IS FINALLY HERE!!! IT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!!

Finally can meet up with my cousins (:

So long never see them le! :D Tomorrow will be the day, or should I say later because it's already over 12am. :D

YAY!!! I'm so happy! (:

I'll upload photos after today :D




Hello peers~ Currently my blog is dead. ~.~

Anyways, since tomorrow is weekend, I shall use this time to update a little bit :D










On the 19 of January, haha a week ago, my cliques celebrate my birthday for me. Although it was belated, but I guess it's all worth it. (:

Anyways, these are just some of the photos that are taken. LOLS I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING, IT'S UNGLAM !

Lazy to upload all and I had fun. (:
Sweet 16, really a nice 16th birthday~

Byes~!




Ahma BU HUI GONG HAN?!

Labels: Birthday sometimes can be great.

Hello people!

It's been so long since I've update.

Look, on the 17th, my friends celebrate my birthday for me. Touched...










































HAHA I KNOW ITS SO MESSY, firstly I wanna thank to those gift me presents. It's according to the earliest to the latest.

1. Jack and Xuan! <3
2. Joey
3. Kirill
4. Charmaine
5. Dionysius

Thanks guys!!

Now is according the wishes.

1. Jack and Xuan! <3
2. Jeremy! (Brother!)
3. Darren
4. Kirill
5. Aung
6. Kaxin and Nichola
7. Jesslyn
8. Hanwei
9. Hazel! Ahmaaaaaaaahhh :D
10. XinJun (:
11. Winnie
12. Joevenn
13. Chai Leng (:
14. Harvin
15. Shu Mei
16. Joycelyn
17. Ruiyin
18. Wei Xian (Cousin!)
19. Tricia
20. Mattew
21. Sandra
22. Lyn
The whole class did wish me. HAHA I can't possibly include all, so it's MY CLASS WHOM WISHED ME. (:

Special Thanks to Chiang Pin and Felix as both of them treat us for the pizza party. (:

Ah, now I guess my lucky number comes to 16. (:

Best day ever yesterday. (:
Have to go now. Xuan told me that I must be happy as always. (:
Jack, YOU ARE A GREAT BROTHER TO ME. (:

As what I told myself, whenever I'm unhappy, I still have to smile.
This sentence influence me a lot. (:
Thanks to Jeremy, Xuan and Jack, you made me enjoy my birthday with you guys and with my classmates and peers.

THANKS ALL FOR THE WONDERFUL GIFTS AND WISHES! I LOVE YOU!

Labels: DO YOU KNOW?, I HAVE A REAL BROTHER

So many things happened, I think I'm so different from EX students.

I came from NA just that jump to EX. What Darren, Bro and Xuan said might be really true.

Yeah I wanna get use to it, but can't. Very true that between EX and NA is so different.

Who will you stand with? EX or NA? Reguardless of the status. Just imagine that friends of unity or whatever shit that is suppose to have for a class, is very different from each other. Who will you really choose? The united ones or the cheerful ones?

I really don't know.

Birthday is just 2 weeks more. This time, I guess I'll celebrate whoever wants to celebrate with me. !$&*@#&$%!@#%!@#^$^@#4

Nevermind, other than bro celebrating with me. I bet no one will ever remember except family.

Haha I don't want care ^^
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey people! Happy new year!

During 31st Dec, we go party and countdown!

haha it was fun! Then reach home about 2am?? :O

A lot of people ask about my resolution about this year,

Well I have lots of it!

Contact Lens
Better Haircut
Get decent results
Family must happy happy
Brother(Jack)'s wish come true!(Mine also!!!)
Since my bro's and my birthday is around the corner, we hope that our wish or new year resolution would grant us our desires.


Today went to watch Yogi Bear with Jackson and future Xiao Sao! LOLS both of them together (:

This show is a seriously MUST watch. It made everyone laughed until the whole cinema was noisy!!! LOLS!!!

This show is over populated until only left 3 front row seats of tickets that were not sold. I was like omg when I saw the remaining seats.

No choice but it was worth anyway. ((:

After that bus to Town, walk walk like also nothing to do, MRT-ed to Eunos and bus to East Coast. It changed a lot ever since I came.

Ride bicycle for approximately 1 hour and then go Mac eat.

Haha it was a fun day indeed! (:

Finally back to post.

As usual, nothing to blog actually, but I just bought a new phone, I love it and satisfied.

Tomorrow tuition and cupboard coming. Then also go buy books... =="

Haiz, talking about sec 4 next year, it scares me. ._.lll

No choice ):

I must go on... Gooo onnn...

Labels: Is so painful.

I'm back people! (:

Awesome trip to Cambodia, the people sure is friendly (:

I love all of them. I miss Kim! She cried on that day we left, its just that she didn't let everyone see.

Haha!

Thats all!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why? I didn't do anything to you, why did you even DELETE me in facebook?):
Your birthday is today, I'm still glad you would reply my message. Please don't do this to me will you? I really tried to express myself, I don't want this to happen...

Labels: I want to die.

Hey peers,

MIA for 2 weeks, or even more because I'm traveling to Cambodia.

BYE~

Bye ahma and friends.





Ah, my birthday is just 2 months and 1 day away.

But I wanna say that I stop celebrating since last year.

I don't celebrate my birthday, I celebrate for my friends and etc.

(:

No, I don't hate my birthday, it's just maybe I wanna stop it (:

Today watch "Unstoppable" movie. It's nice! Got to watch it!!!

Yesterday watch R.E.D, damn lots of funny moments and action-packed. A MUST WATCH!

Labels: It is you whom changed my life (:

Wasn't a good day for me today, soak in rain with How Mun when on the way to school. Now not feeling well but will go school tomorrow.

Friendship :
Qing Yong told me that he long time never play badminton with me, the last match we had played was during sec 2..

When I heard of this, something strange that is, something is poking my heart, what is that? Bitter feeling and I almost tears because of that, I guess I would know the reason.

I guess it was just long time never play with him any sports or games ever since sec2.

Sigh.

Why would I really think so deep... x.x This wasn't what I expected. Terrible friend I am to them.

I could remember the conversation... "Gim Hsiang, 我们去打dota好吗?"
I replied, "好啊!"
Suddenly he turned to the badminton court and asked,"如果有羽毛球网就好了,Gim Hsiang 好久没有跟你打了."

... I was feeling awful at that moment. \:

"Pool 也是好久没有打了." He said.

Although it's true but I promise myself not to play pool anymore just for....

I only could reject about playing pool with him again. But not badminton or computer games...

为什么?十五岁有可能将会是我在人生中最不快乐的一年....

我好累... 不属于你的就永远不会到你的身边,属于你的自然会回到你的身边.

做人真辛苦....

Labels: I wish that the title was referring to you.

Hello people! (:

Today is MT remedial, A.K.A IRP for our school.

Today is really fun at MT, finally saw Mdm. Wang smile and laugh at class! hahahahaa

Found out that Dong Ming come to school today, LMAO!

Meet up with Kirill and gangs at BP. Eat le go comic collection and wait for Faye to choose her comic books. Found a jigsaw puzzle of Vampire Knights, I suddenly remember PSP did publish that game. (: All I could remember was.... Fighting battle system is just like Tales Of The World Radiant Mythology, but a little different as the graphics are better (:

Ah, there is a person called xiaxue, she motivates me to blog, you must be wondering why?

Firstly, I really admire her blogging style, secondly, she is a experienced person in photoshop, which what I wanna have. Thirdly, she is Singapore and won many awards, damn good! (:

Haha, I must continue to try out new things! (:

Thats all for today (:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For so many days, why didn't you online? ):
You're absent also...

Labels: What happened to you?

Hello peers,

Yesterday I gone out with Syakir to look for jobs, set out at 4.30pm

meet him at Cityhall, went to Marina Square. Couldn't find a job. Went to Singapore Flyer, also cannot find.

Have dinner at popeyes. Yumm yummm~

Nom noms too much till I'm getting fat xD

After that we take mrt to airport....

Meet up the rest, then blah blah blah blah blah, from 730 ~ 11 30 we go send friends whom are going to India, o.o Bon Voyaye (:

After that me, Syakir, Darrel and Liyana go terminal 1 to welcome back friends that had gone Hong Kong ! (:

Haha all were shocked why I was that when the time is already 0014, it means no more bus and mrt transport. Ah, nevermind, wait for friends this way is worth it, no matter who he/she is...

After that Kirill gave me a souvenir! Thanks!! :D

After that take Kirill's car home...

What a tiring day, but it's kinda fun! I really enjoy doing these. Finding wheres Marina square as it is such a long time since I gone there. So many places never go for so long need to think over and over again. xD

See ya people! (:

Labels: For friends it's worth it.

Not blogging today... ==


Ah hello people,

Guess what, headstart starts already, boring lessons ==

Wish not to go for it but I have to. Gone school with How Mun today, halfway met YiZhou.

Tomorrow got balloon sculpturing. I wonder what is it... == My english sucks eh?

Oh oh, I've been sms my friends that gone to HK!

Wow seems like they are doing work instead of having fun!
x)

Heard that their fun have been ruined by teachers o.o


So it's kinda fair because they are doing work and us teaching subjects.

Take care Kirill, I know that you will get headache when you go other countries because of the pressure changes.

>.> I JUST LOVE THIS MAID-SAMA :D It's a nice anime, try it! (:





~.~ Ah, /slap for msn remind me of something.... T_T

Labels: I miss Miss. PiG badly. )':

This picture is for friends whom are traveling to other countries!

Bye XiaoHui! Take care and have fun in Japan!(Going to.)
Bye Felix! Take care and have fun in Canada!(Flew.)
Bye Kirill, Faye, Jesslyn, Nichola, Kaxin etc. Have fun in Hong Kong!(Going to.)

Maybe later I'll sms them again (:



Hello peers,

Yesterday I chiong a drawing of a person. Not really well done though x.x

haha, yesterday night can't sleep, so I was bored too and I drew pictures.

Um, I hope this drawing could make me feel sleepy and go sleep.
But no, in the end I slept but need wait awhile before I go sleep. :O


Haha, gtg, bye :D

Hi peers, yesterday don't wanna blog because sis is around, I don't wanna let her know my blog ==

Always stalks my blog de, so I change link.

Realise that blog is so dead. :O Tomorrow is last day of school, cannot wait till holidays. Cambodia trip is getting nearer and nearer, somehow I don't feel like going already, but no choice, I have to go.

These few days are boring. ==

Didn't go to school today, I don't feel like going. ._.

Okay enough of all this shit.

Now, take a good look at this video. Watch how they react.

Labels: Eu perder voce...

Will update tomorrow...

Sorry to keep you guys waiting. (:

Labels: Door is closed can you open it?

Today wasn't a great day.

So many people absent again, it was boring. I don't feel like coming to school already.

Come back from school, I ignore everyone, wasn't on a mood to talk.

Worn out and almost fainted, damn tired for the FREAKING FIRST TIME. I'm so stressed out.

Mother keep nagging, when can she ever stop about nagging that thing?

Darn it!!!


I think today no CCA, probably I'll skip the school part. As every lesson is slacking time ==


After school go Aung's house give him games and help him with his computer, hahaha.

Around 6 then I went home, could say is a very tiring day, but not really a tiring one...


And now I'm blogging, ^_^ next Monday going back ZHPS, I wanna see how are they doing!!! CAN'T WAIT :D



Ah, today at school was a boring day...

Wasn't satisfied with my results, anyway I already knew that I would have done badly.

Come back from BPP today, because i was buying lunch, come back eat le then awhile more I slept.

And I will know that later I could not sleep already.


Aung never come to school today, so does XinJun, called Aung, he was sick :O Or was trying to skip SJAB? :P Am I right Aung? :P

I sms you, you didn't reply.. Or is it you didn't receive it?:o

Wish tomorrow no CCA. If don't have I confirm go Aung's house tomorrow to play games :D

Labels: What had happened to everyone?

Ah, I'm back to blogging!


Today went to lot 1 to meet Kirill and Jesslyn, send Jesslyn to taxi stand and wait for her taxi to come, afterwards go to lan and play, ask CP to tag along.


IT was DAMN FUN, AND THE MOST FUNNIEST MATCH EVER.

CP GOT FORCESTAFFED! :P

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Afterwards gone to BPP then go to THE BODY SHOP, LOLS DON'T GET THE WRONG WAY, CP was buying gift for KaXin.

After that, went to shop shop, halfway CP go home. O:

After that, me and Kirill go Bishamon.
It's damn expensive but the food was nice :D

Thanks Kirill.


Hmm? I SAW DJ MAX PORTABLE 3, I'm downloading right now!!! OH YEAH!!!

LOOK AT THIS :DSO COOL!!!!!

Can't wait to try it out! :D

Holidays is coming, I have nothing to do at home, getting tired of staying at home and rot.

All were busy doing their own stuffs too, never ever disturb them...

Bored, so come and blog, but I don't think this post for today should be long.

It's okay! I wanna share with you something that is really meaningful to me!

I love this. Makes me feel good and makes my mood upright.






You like this guy right? The one whom makes everyone smile. I wish I were him. (:

He is like someone whom I really respect !!!

Labels: Why it is so painful? ('= Good luck.

OMG ITS 3 am soon in a few minutes and I'm still awake....

Ah, I wonder today, what will I do? :O I wonder...

Sometimes, things would make me think a lot, don't know where to start.

Haha, sounds chim isn't it? :O

Don't feel like staying at home... So boring... Don't wanna use computer either.

Sorry that I reply late .... I wasn't at my computer. Sorry to all. D:

Ah, in future if I'm going to be away, I'll set it and leave a message instead, good idea? (:

Labels: I won't regret., My heart cries for you

Ah, blog is so dead. x.x

Today's a boring day and a moody day.

What shall I blog ? Let me think bah...

Kirill introduce some songs to me, classical, went to find it and found it useful in such a way that it soothes your feelings :D

Thanks, you are one friend that upgrades me. Better improvements on English, making me happy. (:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Got hurt, recovering wound, but can I recover the scar? It will be always there and how it happened inside my memory.

Looks like everyone is right.(That's why I'm reflecting in today's post.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looks like exam is over today, felt relieved but still I'm totally stressed out.

I wouldn't expect anything for holidays, just might be home rotting.

Hates this head start we're talking here. Come back for 2 weeks. SIGH. My throat is getting

worse. x.x

Anyhow, I'm just gonna rest, I had enough of school life. I so freaking tired!!!

Ah, but holidays is here! :D

Hey people whom are reading this, it will be great if you're enjoying your holidays!

Ah, so many things haven't done, I wanna draw something...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Today had a funny shots at Aung's face :D It's so funny! Some unglam photos!!! hahahhahaahhaahahhaahha, I must be mad now. :O

I shall wanna stay this mood forever, but then today not sure why I couldn't. O.o

Oh well, shouldn't be staying for long. Bye readers, thanks for reading.





~JxLPiG
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, I would talk to you, but please give me some time would you? I know your an understandable person, give me some time... I just... don't wanna annoyed you much or being sticky by talking and talking and talking to you. Just like that day, the day it happened. I'm sorry if it looks like I'm ignoring you,(I guess you're thinking that I am ignoring you.) But seriously... I am really sorry. ): I don't feel good by doing that... How would I feel good by not talking to you, I wish I could talk to you... To me, you're someone whom I've been missing at...Piggeh. Sorry if I really made you angry in any case...

I couldn't make any decisions.

I just couldn't press enter =.= I couldn't press and send the message to you...

ARGH, FRUSTRATING !!!!

USELESS ME. T_T

Wish that I get out of this problem. );

Labels: but I couldn't press the enter due to awkwardness..., I want to ask you to sleep

Sorry peers, yesterday computer died, which is spoiled,

but manage to fix it, I will update soon...

As I said, yesterday gone Bukit Timah, played pool.

As I really promise, that round is the last. I quit pool totally, from now onwards, pool is no longer related to me.

Today I gone to Toa Payoh to do the project on the Cambodia thingy.

I never sleep at 4 am last night. Sms teacher at that time. LOLS TEACHER WAS SHOCKED.

Can't sleep again. This sucks. After this, I went back home and have my tuition, freaking tired cannot think of anything.

Slept until now, my parents came back from work. Which is 2 hours ago.

I'm really tired today, so tired that I dreamt of something nice and pleasant for the whole night that I slept just now.

I DREAMT OF YOU :D

Having a bad sore throat now...Throat so painful. ARGH!!

Man, so many homework haven't do, I'm really lazy to do...

Oh yeah, I told you about the story that is on the previous post? Yeah? I'm going to post it soon, a few more thinkings then I'm done!

Labels: I miss the old you, I want to go back time.

This 1 week holiday I've been only slacking and continuously go to friend's house and play play play.
HAHA :D


So fun, so late go back home, later might go out with JS again, play pool, might be the last play then I quit le, just wanna quit for a purpose.

Found out that it's so boring to go for lessons during holidays. This one week holiday is not even a holiday for me... Sigh.

What can I really do to make myself busy all the time and stop online? :D

Pool, computer and TV ruined my life.

I wonder if I can graduate or not, currently my results definitely cannot.

Sign off.

Labels: Why do you ignore me so much? ):

Nobody knows, what I want.
Nobody knows, what I need.
Nobody knows, how I feel.
Nobody knows, why should I care.
Nobody knows, why I do things for no reasons.
Nobody knows, what is my motive.


All I wanted was just a laptop, all I need was you. All I felt was just unhappy this year. All I know was to care for you. All the things I do, was just being out of curiosity. All I want is, nothing, but love and care from you.

Needs, is them, needs, is you.

Already, sad. Like what Nichola done yesterday. I shouldn't mention anything.

Do you really know I felt? Sadly, you wouldn't know.

Thinking back to the past, it's all seems to be fading away between you and me.

Should I just leave? That's what is what I want after 'O' Levels.

Presents, outings or games? NO is the word I'll say, I'll reject everything.

Foolish and silly minds, there's nothing I could talk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I simply just hate anyone whom is in my way.

No use being so nice, they won't appreciate it. Only tolerance.

Being a human sometimes is so in difficult to understand one another.

There's no way.
There's no hope.
There's no need.
There's no need to believe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next week, it's going to be a busy week instead of a holiday week, Wednesday will have 4-hours of Social Studies. Thursday might be the Chemistry extra lessons.

Friday not sure. Tuesday maybe going out.

I just can't believe it, I survive till now.

Almost got a car bang after exercising just now. Wasn't paying attention.

So tired, worn out. Barely could think about anything.

But only to blog. Or play games.

I just wanna slack, I couldn't carry on. I wanna overcome this.

I might writing a story, true life story, I'll try my best to have grammar free.

It's quite a short story, but I'm going to think about how the story line is and how it goes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sign off.

Labels: Nobody understands me. T_T

It's Teacher's day today!

Feels so excited because it's a holiday! But A-maths homework just making me so stressed up.
I don't know how to do... );

Anyways, yesterday perform at school, it was kinda okay (: Didn't screw up much more than the rehearsals.

But still got some errors of course.

After the dismissal, I rush off to ZHPS, yay meeting Mrs. Loh, wow she's kinda busy at that time, keying in the marks for the prelims.
It just too bad that Nelson came late xD
After that went to BPP. LOLS seems like so many people I know hanging out at there.

HAAh, such a nice day. How I wish what it was like being an adult, or rather no one or things that won't bother you anything (:

Sign off,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I guess at the moment I saw you looking, but what is that weird sight? It just gave me a feeling that I cannot look at you. A strong sensation that shouldn't be looking at you if you're looking.

I wonder, if your msn status is for me. How I wish I could just tell someone that I truly loves you. Even if there is, no one would bother... Neither would you care, am I right to say that?

I just miss your smile for me.
I dreamt of you (: We went back to normal, so friendly, I love that dream, but it turn out to be a dream... );

Labels: I dreamt of you.

Tomorrow is Teacher's day celebration...

Tomorrow I have a performances. After that have to go back my primary school to visit my teachers.

But sad RuiYin and ShuMei cannot make it. Because they got CIP. Haizs...
What to do? OMG...

WTH? Next Saturday 9 to 1 have to go Toa PaYoh.
Some Stuffs I guess. RAWR DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TOMORROW'S PERFORMANCES, HOPE I DON'T SCREW UP!!!!

Sign off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...Today I walk pass you by accident when I was talking to Ming Tuck, but you didn't bother to look, is this coincidences or just purely ignorance from you? );

Other than deaths of somebody, what is the most hurtful thing you ever know?(If you are a lover of anyone around you.)

Of course its parent divorce, OMG. Why? ):
I hate to see my friends getting hurt and cut themselves because just to make their parents not to get a divorce, and... its hurtful, I wish I could help out my friend... I wanna scold their parents...

I wanna help... But its impossible, I don't have the right to scold them... I'm just a somebody they see as a stranger, but for my friend, I'm a friend to her.

I think I'm going to buy something for her later after my tuition. Maybe something that is, useful and would help her, but where could I find this holy holy holy usefulness item?

Sign off.

How I wish this world doesn't have any sadness.

Now, I don't feel like blogging anymore.

Its only 2 am plus now, and I'm still freaking bored and nothing to do, so I decided to blog for the sake of killing time.

However, the reason behind not going to keep on blogging because I wasn't really feeling good, as in feeling down. Now, I check my facebook, found out lots of stuffs.

Yeah true, its about a girl I like. Its just some message I saw.

I just feel so, don't feel like being a new guy like the way I did since the beginning of this year. I just don't feel right.

Right now, I only have this though, after my 'O' levels, I got back my results, I'm just going to leave and without saying anything to my friends. Just really wanna get off this school and friends. True, getting new friends, someone you fancied, is really tough getting the old friends I had now.

Even I LOST TRUST to my dear friend, Jesslyn. I found out she wasn't as friendly to me as the way she did.

Anyhow, I shall not care anymore, I'll could just give them bad impression, right now, I guess my only good friend is just Kirill Stetsyuk. I'll just try to communicate with him more often.

I guess, even now I also neglect my friends. Shit, I hate myself. Even Jack I neglect much. I wasn't liking what I do right now, maybe CP was always right, she don't really like anyone, as in the R/s.

Jesslyn, don't blame me for being so ignorant now, back on Wednesday, I was finding you to take for ribbon as I teach the sec 4s to do the cards for the Teacher's day, you aren't really happy to see me huh? Did I hit a nerve?

Kirill, you're right, you told me you didn't wanna get into R/s because it makes you feel so sad or getting hurt when things goes wrong.

The rest of my friends, is just... friends... Guess everyone, will be "demoted" to friends, or even some... like the two Americans, have gone down to strangers... Only Kirill passed, thinking of
Chin Hwe to pass or not, I find him a good friend too. (:

CP, not really, gets angry easily, so I don't really like it, true about him irritating.

Han Wei, I don't know, maybe even both of us have a same surname, maybe we'll get along someday.

Ming Tuck, though he's other class, but I find him getting along better with me, too.
Tanya, I not sure, she doesn't seem to be talking to me, just like how she did it to me, I guess its she telling her to stay away from me.

For Felix, somewhat I find him okay, but not always.
Dionysius, maybe yes, decent guy but with a cursing mouth. LOLS!!!
Nichola, a really nice girl, but seriously, her laughter is crazy!!!
KaXin, a really fierce girl, but she's really helpful and nice, she has a common factor with Nichola , THEIR LAUGHTER IS CREEPY!!!
Darren, I lost trust. I just don't know why.
Aung, not really...
Dong Min, don't really know him well.
Faye, hello grandma...LOLS random, just a okay okay situation with her.
Charmaine, we really talk less, but it's okay.
Cammy, average?
Diyanah, not sure, she's getting arrogant as what my primary school teacher said.

The others, I don't really wanna say about it, don't feel like describing how I felt towards them.

Sometimes, I just felt left out.

I wanna change, a person whom will not get hurt anymore. A person whom will never care for anyone, a person whose going to be mean, alright, if they just freaking talk to me in facebook, one word, IGNORE.

I'm just going to stay calm and never ever be angry of what they do.

Stay calm. Anyways, Ming Tuck, cheer up, Peggy will surely love you, don't be afraid for other guys to go flirt her. I guess you're lacking of confident.

Ming Tuck is another person which I kinda feel toward Chin Hwe, not bad for a friend him, nothing to comment about but he's good at communication.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonder where is my school life post? Nah, I don't wanna post about it anymore. LOLS BASICALLY JUST don't feel like posting. Life-style I had and life towards peers is what I'm posting now.

Back to the life I had in sec 2, its so much better, I wish I can go back, never turn 15, never go to my birthday, my suckish birthday.

I hate my birthday, I stopped having to celebrate and not going to do anything about it anymore and not going to celebrate for anyone anymore, I don't care everyone comment or complain that I suck or what, I just don't like it, would you all please STOP?

It's completely useless, why celebrate where it's just the day you born? It's useless where its over because you're already born. I'm just going to keep this secret, any birthday parties, anything, I'll just find excuses to skip it, simple enough.

Or just simply wish them a happy birthday, thats all. I wanna learn from my tuition teacher, quiet and really ignores everything, so simple and making my life easier for faggots around me.

Another thing, I wanna change school or change class if I come across a chance. But I don't think so...Sec 3 already. Stay passive Gim, stay calm.

Terrible secondary school life. Idiot subjects making me so screwed up. ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!
Sigh, will I really get out of this madness?

Anyways, Teacher's Day is coming, I busy as mad, take it as today is Friday as 12 am passed, I got a rehearsal on 2.30 pm to 5pm.

On Monday is the last rehearsal because the performances of "Storm" on Tuesday, which is the day for Teacher's Day celebration...
Basically, "Storm" is just a band in our school, but in this case, I'm going Cambodia at the end of this year, so those whom are under that will have to perform, I hope I don't screw up during the actual performance.

Getting so busy right now, after Teacher's Day, I'm freaking freed. I'll stop being so active.
Of course, its really fun!

Huh? Hardly see me happy? LOLs, true but when I'm in school, I tend to get happy when I saw my best friends. Today's post is long, haha I wonder if anyone really reads it, but I post it not to just to let you all see, I just wanna express my feelings to myself and I'll keep it in mind.

I wonder if I will online tomorrow, I guess I'll stay offline and not letting anyone know I'm online... Just talk to some people who I really wanna to talk with...

Okay, got to stop here. Bye!

Sign off.

Hello readers,

Today AIP canceled! Yay! I was going to cafe with Kirill, when suddenly SMS from Ahma, she wants to meet out, but end up she cancel because she was sleepy, LOLS WHAT A PIG! x3

Today was a long day, I went to search for some stuffs and run various places.

First, I head off to BPP and search, found nothing.

Then I walk to Ten Mile Junction, found nothing.

Train to Bangkit, Shop & Save, also nothing... =.="

Then walk back home and sit down and think what to do and now blogging. (:

So tired today, haha...

Sign off.
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Yo guys! Sorry for the link changed, I suspect that some random people who I don't know, went in and view it. Please keep it a secret and do not give it to anyone, or ask me before giving to your friends, leave the names in the tag-board and I'll decide.

Hello reader(s),

sorry for not updating for a few days ago.

I wasn't able to update because got tests and need to revise and study.

I wasn't getting myself these few days, super bored at class and felt so down.

Haha, I know I'm always down. Well, I might not be bored this Sunday! Because I'm going to meet Jing Wen, Jay and Hui Shan!!! It's been so long since I go out with them.

All older than me leh, I youngest, LOLS!
___________
|I wish I wish...|

I can't wait to see them, miss them so badly... At least I don't have to see the attitude of my classmates, non-united. Of course, that doesn't mean I don't love my class, I LOVE THEM. (:

Today went to hospital with Mum. (END)

No reasons to carry on.

Just a short notice, I really getting tired as each day comes.

Aww... Later got tuition... Poor me. ):
This is such a nuisance.

Sign off. (This post I didn't really go and blog it properly, I know you might now understand what I'm writing, as long I know, you don't have to know. =P)

Hello reader(s),

It was quite a night yesterday's night.

Many things happens these days, of course, contains good and bad stuffs. But I'm not going to talk about it.

Feels like everyday I'm always listening to song when I'm bored.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow, hey, do you know that I had a wonderful night's sleep because I dreamt of you?Smiling at me like the way you use to do in the past?(:

But...It's totally different now, I would really wanna see you smile at me in front of me. Really...

Sigh...

Sign off.

Labels: Dreamt of you, peace.

Hey reader(s),

Today is 1st August, 8 more days to NDP.

I'm not really looking forward to it, because I think that, each year by each year, NDP is getting more and more boring, as in like not so attention seeking anymore.

Below is the message for Jinwei Ahma!

HEY HEY HEY AHMA! Nice name, you change your name liao, should I call you Hazel in future if I meet you? Or just remain JinWei? Btw, stay happy alright?(:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, I'm so gonna update about yesterday and today.

Yesterday I was going for the flag day, woke up about going to 6a.m. then went to CP's house and go with me, Kirill and CP. Took 171 bus to Plaza Sing.

It was kinda a long ride, sleeping awhile...

Because as on Friday, which is my previous post, I've mentioned open house on my primary school, I went back and reach home around 9 plus, it was really tired...

Anyways, on flag day, must thanks to Kirill. Just some matters.

Okay, I shall talk about today, today is just a perfect day, but not the happy "perfect" day I'm talking about here. Well to be honest, I'm really lonely today, went to BPP myself, but got used to it. No one would go with me. Just can't blame anyone anyways. (:

I'll try to post something more interesting. Bye...

Sign off.

Labels: I was made to understand humans.

Hey reader(s),

Today was a very tiring day, had lots of activity, I shall skip lessons, nothing unusual.

After school, I went to BPP to meet Jackson and then go West Mall.

I helping him to find stuffs which is suitable for Wengyi.

Then apparently, nothing but a few items. But then in the end, we did not buy anything but travel to Lot 1. Ting ting call me today, she was terribly sick today, I was shocked.
She didn't heed my advice and now she's soooo sick.

Well, went to Lot 1, then buy stuffs then rush back to Senja and fetch Ting ting to consult a doctor. First I thought it was open near my house. But too bad, none were opened, so we travel to Bangkit and see the clinic, of course it's 24-hours for that clinic.

Then after that, I send Ting ting home.

She was sooo sick and her movement was totally unstable. HEY TING TING! (: HAVE A GOOD REST ALRIGHT?!

Then after that, I walk back to my primary school. Since today is the open house, I went there alone... Saw some of my friends, they really changed a lot.
SAW MRS.LOH!!!! I GOT HER NUMBER, YAY! TEACHER'S DAY ALL I HAVE TO DO IS JUST SMS/CALL HER and she will come down and meet us! (:

At least, today I was kinda happy. (:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy drawing JACKSON! XDDDDDDDDDD
Wow, my legs hurts a lot....(;

Sign off.

Hey reader(s),

Today was usual, a boring day.

I think it's boring everyday, at school, of course. Now I just wanna go back home fast if I had nothing on, I don't wanna waste my time on things I shouldn't have waste, today, I did not put on the badge for PSL, I did it on purpose, I just don't feel like wearing it.

It's so troublesome now, everything seems to be getting in my way, I wasn't able to concentrate what I was doing, I would like to quit as a PSL, I'm tired, I don't wanna do it anymore.

I wanna back off, at first I wanna be PSL because of two of my dearest friends, but they aren't in good condition now, so it wouldn't be necessary to stay on.

Should I do something bad? To make myself demote and kick out of PSL?....
I wonder...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today, after school, ran to BPP to buy stuffs.
Then after that I went to the library to read about Visual C ++ , it's really hard to understand the language of the computer. But I'm willing to learn.

Then after that, I went outside BPP, saw Ting Ting's message, she's going to BPP, LOLSLOLS
I went to change and then come back to BPP to meet her. (:
At first it was kinda embarrassing and shy :S
But then got used to it, Ting Ting so funny (: hahahahahhahahahaha

After slacking with her, I went to Stepping stone tuition centre to get back my worksheet, I saw Fiona, LOLS funny surprise from her, I kinda long time never see her, miss her, ALSO I MISS TEACHER TOO ):

Take liao then after that I saw back my worksheet, my teacher wrote, " hope you get okay for your test." Thinking back, I was kinda regret, I wanna go back tuition centre ):

But I can't, I was totally regret what I had done, I use to be naughty to teacher, sad, I shouldn't do that, now I realised, everything was my fault...

I'm really sorry teacher, I always been naughty and rude.

I wanted to tell you, if I could come back to the tuition centre, I will study hard and not get distracted by the rest of the students. );

Thank you teacher, thank you very much.

Sign off,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you teacher, I finally know why do students choose you as a favourite teacher, or rather a recommended maths teacher. You are a kind teacher, although there is onces you scold me, but I think it's right, you scold me, I deserve it. Now I really regret. A matter of regret...


Hello reader(s)!

Today wasn't really a good day for me, I'm really worn out much.

I almost fall asleep during Ra-Ra Day, any idea what is that? (:

It's a meeting of Peer Support Leaders. HEY!!! What does that suppose to mean? YOU MEAN I CANNOT BE A LEADER, quit trolling and let me continue (:

As I was saying, today we played some games and it was quite boring, but the fun parts are the True or Dare game.

Well, quite a tiring day for me, oh no...tomorrow's A-maths test I'm going to fail it...
I slept when I went back home, really really really tiring for me.

Firstly, today we have P.E then followed by a 2-hours A-maths.
Then after that got Ra-Ra day till 5.30...

So tired that I could barely wake up when I slept just now. XinJun, you didn't come today huh?
I was starting to worry, at least...today you replied my message.

Jesslyn and Kirill are at it again, conflicts conflicts conflicts...I really hate it. I was very very very worked up when I heard about them, fighting.

I don't want them to separate, if not our friendship is gonna fall, it's because if it really happens, I'm really in a difficult position, who should I really follow?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU MEANIE READERS? I MEAN LIKE I CAN'T FOLLOW ANYONE, because if I follow Jesslyn, Kirill will not be my friend anymore, same goes if I follow Jesslyn.

Reminisce, I always do that when I'm bored. Me, Jesslyn, Kirill, Nichola and others... Same applies to XinJun...

I don't know what to do now, seriously. If you all think that friends are just normal friends and get quarrel and stop friendship, it's super wrong, you won't success in that for the rest of your life. A person without friends is a piece of shit, a real piece OF SHIT.

Woah, my body feels so hot, must calm down, I guess it's been so long since I'm this angry enough. In the past, use to be hot-tempered, now I'm trying to tolerate everything I could,
if I don't see any improvement from the both of them, I'll never talk to them of things that are unnecessary. I'll just ignore, it's fine with me.

I don't give a damn about that anymore, all I could conclude is that, the more friends you have, the more troubles you will have.

That's all, bye troll'in readers.

Sign off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Piece of shit? Maybe...

No one loves being a SHIT.

Why? Because it sucks to be one, that's it.

Why can't friendship last? Is God trying to tell me no one is meant to be treasured or appreciate?

What have I done to deserve this? Did my Sin come and revenge? What did I really do...I wanna know myself.

Keeping such a big problems really getting on my nerves, I shall not think until further necessary...

Labels: Reminisce of friendship.

Hey Reader(s)!


Today really nothing to talk about, well...at least there is still something that I can talk about,
actually, today was going to friend house to "swim".

But I don't wanna go, I wasn't invited by the owner but was asked by friends.
I didn't have that thought to go. I was in a mess again, thinking too much.
My mind thought of many things, firstly, it was her, secondly, am I welcome to go if I go?
End up I didn't go, and heard that Kirill and Jesslyn quarreled.

What's next? Could it be any better? I thought that day, they both were so good friends, I thought I have done my part for it, because I thought it was accomplished, but it turn out I was wrong.

So wrong that no idiots can even think of success. Guess I am one...Naive is my problem.
Everything seems to be fine, nothing seems to be wrong, but what am I still thinking about?
Class with no unity at all? Is this the problem to most schools in Singapore that doesn't allow international students to join that particular school?

Because my class have sort of many races from other countries, e.g, Myanmar, Russian, Korean, China, Malaysia and Indonesia.

Of course, most disagreement will come from China gangs. Definitely.

What is UNITY for a class?
What does it serve?
What does it help in?
Why is it important?
How to have it on a class?
When will we have it?
How long will it last?
Why is it so difficult?
Why, why, why?

It is so sad that sometimes people got left out because of the argument. Leaving was the ONLY solution.

Anyway, I shouldn't be talking about all these. It's so crappy, wasting my space in my mind.
I don't wanna worry it anymore.

Today, Ting Ting GONE MAD!!!xD
OMG, I wonder what really happened...

Should I go back?):
I'm vexed. Why didn't I treasure it? It's all happened and irreversible. Die you gHz(It's my name given by my friends).

Oh, I know, you asking why am I still up at this hour and blogging, shouldn't I be sleeping?
Well, awhile more. (:

In the meantime, I wanna show you reader(s) this! Please watch it! Have patiences! Just watch it, the fun part will slowly come!

Labels: I love you, so badly.

Hello reader(s),

Today was a boring day, was having tuition, thank to my tuition teacher, I finished my Math's homework.

Then after tuition, I decided to go cut hair, cut a bit and just back came home, of course, now I'm blogging.(:

So boring now...Haiz...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Am I really irritating to you?):

It's reaching 2 months, I didn't talk to you at all, maybe that is what you want.

I really miss you, I can't express it, it's like so occupied in my mind that I can hardly concentrate of what I'm doing.

Screw you pool, if that day in Felix's house, even though we're not on good conditions, I shouldn't have played. This is a sign of regret.

Seriously, screw you pool, stupid billard, stupid stable with cue balls and cue sticks.

I hate you, I don't wanna touch you again. If I could just lost all the skills and hates pool just to exchange you back, it's worth it.

Impossible, that's true. Nothing seems to make me have the rights to talk to you.):

I hate being left out alone, seems that I've changed. Unlike last time, loner is my style.
This time, NO.
A BIG NO. I cannot be left out by friends, a big influences by you. You make my day, you made me change into another person, a person whom is sociable, happier and patience.

Maybe that's the reason I love you. I don't like when you say I love your "cyber-self".
I wanna let you know, even though we talk a lot in cyber,e.g msn, but I still talk to you like the way we us to be in the past. Lots of talkings...Chatters...

But it's impossible now.

I think that your msn personal message is for me, I'm irritating to you, oh no... How can I make myself worth for you?):

Sign off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Labels: Sad day, sickening day.

Hey reader(s)!

Today was having so much fun, actually going to play pool...I rejected it, I remember something...
I failed to promise it...

Then instead, I went to Farjar Secondary School with Nichola, my MT teacher, Gordon and Ming Tuck.

It's about "chapteh", which is a shuttlecock-like but it is made of chicken feathers and it is metal on the base.

It's fun when I started playing it, so fun that I got addicted to it...From then, I stop thinking about pool...

Haha, when we reach there, prepare all the stuffs, then done liao, Nichola then go sleep, guess she was tired after yesterday's research.

Well, didn't bother her, seems like she's too tired.

Then, as people come to our stall, we explain it and teach them, we,Gordon and Ming Tuck were playing the chapteh (:

Fun, as I first time play, I got problems with it, but then slowly I got the hang of it!!!

Woots!

Then after that, it's all the goodies from my MT teachers, also, I noticed that I first time saw my MT teacher smile and laugh. How rare. o.o

I WANT MY MONKEY STRAP! My MT teacher forget to bring one for me ):

Haha! Have to wait for Monday instead!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey people! Have you ever wondered if aliens exist?

Hehe, random but I was wondering, how will they look like? 1 eye or 3 eyes with slimy and greeny-looking freak? xD

It might be cool if they are your friends (:
MINIONS.(Y)

PURPLE CHAPTEH IS VERY CHIO! Haha,total random (:

Well, got to sign off! Nothing to do.(:

Well, wanna get on to IMVU with friends now, I've been wondering if I should come for this upcoming swimming with friends on Sunday...Lots of thinking now...

Sign off.
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Hey reader(s)!

I'm currently helping Miss.Nichola to do her MT work!

This crazy and going-to-be-mad person asked me to do!!!!

How COULD SHE?!Haha, just joking, hope she won't see this post!!!xD

Today was kinda boring...tons of homew0rk given...sigh...

Nothing unusual today,so I just end here..and a reflection..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Hey, why am I so stressed up?
Is it because of you?
I wanna know, from joy to depression...
Do you know how painful it is?
I see, maybe you get it too, if you don't, I'm still fine with it, because I want you to be care-freed and don't bother to think about me.
Now, people knows who you are.
Now, everyday what I see is only your ignorance against me, I really wanna stop this,but how?
However, I tried to avoid you, but failed, today when I was with Gordon and Ming Tuck, we walk past and accidentally bumped into you. I saw your face, I immediately turned away,because I don't wanna see you,although I want to...but it might be unpleasant...
Like what Jesslyn told me, if I continue to be like this, awkwardness will not break...
Like what my sis said, best is not to bother you, I always been so tired to hear those, because it is very hard for me and very hurtful for me to do that, more than a billion of sharp knives shattered my fragile heart, I guess I'm really sensitive, but I can't change myself.
I always look at our conversation in the past, as I read, I would smile and cry.
I can still remember what we were talking about pigs, I can write it out.
"Hey piggy!"
"Go stare at the mirror, you'll see a pig!"
"Huh?Yeah, I saw a piggy."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA"
"????"
"YOU SAW A PIGGY RIGHT?THAT'S YOU LUH!!!!!"
"....LOLS!!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"YESSSSSSSS IT'S YOU!!!!HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA"
"XD NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I WAS TRYING TO SAY IT'S YOU!"
"But I'm piggeh!Not PIGGY!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA"
"I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I really love the days and many other things....
I miss the happy chattings with you.
I miss the sad moments.
I miss the quarrels we had made.
I miss the cryings we had gone through.
I really miss...you.

Right now, you might think that I already got over you, then you're really really really wrong,
am I those jerks you see on dramas or even on real life?Just get over you so easily?
NO. I'm not...I can't even stop this, my msn's personal message is for you, it's for you.
The reason I written in Chinese is because you might not really go read it, if I put it on English, of course it just take you a few seconds to read finish and understand the whole thing.Right?

This is not my first time, but yours...is the most hurting, and you're the one I'm most loved with.
You are so retarded,crazy and a person who can really trust on.
A person like you really is hard to find.
But I can see you laughing at times. Like today! During SS lessons, but I was very very very jealous. Upon seeing you talking and playing with other boys, I think back that we played and joke with each other too. Is that your real self? Is that what you talking about, understanding of you?

Guess trying to get close to you right now it's really impossible, all I could do was just watch how you laugh...At times, I will try not to stare too much...Maybe just a glance would be enough for me...

I wanna end off by saying,

P.S. I.L.O.V.E Y.O.U.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sign off,

I wish I can get close to you. I miss you...


Hey reader(s),

I changed my blogskin because I think the previous was kinda boring and small.

Nothing to update today though...tomorrow got CCA,it is so boring...

Ahh,don't feel like sleeping,I'm getting worst..
Hey,I still miss you... ):

Sign off...

Hey readers...

Why am I so restless today?):

I just can't get myself to be happy.
FML,I don't like this...I really wanna get a reply from her...I wanna gain your trust back..Do you know how painful it is?

You were right,I shouldn't overdone what I have done to you,if I know this would happen,I would not even friendly talk to you,I always get myself so happy to see you everyday,disappointed is only what I gain from you.I love to see and look at you every time you weren't looking back at me.

Especially when you're doing your work,your laughs...
I felt really really really jealous when other guys talks to you,I cannot bear with it,I just wanna be like them,talking to you face-to-face...

I know you hate me,because you don't like emo guys,but I wanna let you know,I cut my wrist not because I'm emo,it's because the pain I've gain from you is more painful than cutting my wrist,cutting my wrist seems to be un-painful...

No one knows that I've cut my wrist,only a few..those that won't spread this secret...
I know it's stupid...
I really miss her badly,unsure what to do,disappointed as always,I tend to leave her alone and run out when it's another class...Just to avoid her...
I have lost the feeling of caring for everyone,it's slowly fading away...I tried to care,but I could even realise myself what not so caring after all,I started ignoring people around me.
Yes,I'm bad...Thanks...It's already 49 days since that day,2nd June...
Soon it will be 50...I have been missing you for almost 50 days...I wish you would see my blog,
but no,sorry...I love you...

Sign off...
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Hey readers,

Today was chemistry extra lesson,I was very late...):

So tired...!And I'm feeling cold....

After chemistry,I went to BPP library to read about lifehackers,this book teaches you about hacks in computers,apparently,I only manage to pick up some points which I didn't know about it.

I manage to finish the whole book.

My neck also break,but at the library was cooling,thanks to the windbreaker,if not I'm going to catch a cold soon!

Well,yesterday was having a bad sore throat as I walked home,drenched in the rain...

Guess my flu is coming very soon!

Hey readers!Enough looking and tag my tagbox....it's dead...x.x

Please tag!!!Thanks!
Sign off,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey why didn't you come for chemistry lessons today?
I was looking for you...but saw the friend you are always with,but you weren't there...
You always skipped,don't ya?
All I wanted is to see you...can I?):
I really wanna see you,even if it's just for a second...
I miss you,oh dear..
Dear diary,how can I solve this problem?):
Can someone tell me?....

Hello reader(s),this is just a small reflection of today,I'm not posting about what happened today,I think tomorrow then I talk about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Today,you came to school,yesterday you didn't...

What is this expression you gave me or something when in maths lesson?

It's like suddenly I turn and was kinda looking at you,saw you were looking at me,(is it you were looking or it is just me?),I just saw the face expression you gave,it's can't be seen but I can feel something from you...

I just don't know what is it...It's like so different from before...

I don't know,now whenever you turn back when I was looking at you,I tend to turn other side...
I was afraid,my heart throbs weirdly and having a fear and strange feeling...What is this???

How I wish I can face you right now,but you know something,I can't do it...I'm just afraid of you now,it's like we're strangers now...

Can you please tell me what you feel right at that time?):

You seen really depressed,even if it's not,I still wanna know what are you thinking about...
I really wanna you to be happy.I don't wish anything would happen to you,I just wish you would be happy.

I wanna transfer to another school,I want to leave your life,slowly fading away,no one knows,never ever will.

I wanna...really know about you...The reply you gave me is like so scary,I really cannot take the pressure,why is this happening??...


If I had one wish,I wish I would just rewind everything...I only wish both you and I are just....Friends...

Let me give you an example,life is just like a windmill,you cannot "rewind",in this case,it's impossible for a windmill to move in a clockwise direction...It only keeps on moving in the anti-clockwise direction,there's no turning back of what you done...

But,I also have doubts...If I have that wish,I might throw it away,I cannot just simply erase everything of what you and I had done to each other,playing,telling jokes,laughters,quarrel, and most importantly,those times where I was alone with you.I wish you could see this post,but it's not a good idea,I will always hide this.

Say,I know it's very exaggerating,but I really wanna treasure you to the max.
Sigh,if I would just talk to you everyday and not playing.Then it is really better,I bet even up till now we're still happily talking,I shouldn't have told you my secret towards you.
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This blog is a loner,not really people often comes in,so it's kind of great and it's okay to express my feelings here.
In school,I may be good and laughing with friends,but as they say,whenever you are with friends,any sadness just hide it,you can't hide it,lie to it.

Later,which is around 8.30,got chemistry lessons...Sigh..How I wish...

Sign off at 12.43 am.

You are a great person,
A person that is 1 out of 10 people.
But that's not all,
What really surprise me is your laughter,
Though it creeps me,but I somehow overcome and love it.
Just like KaXin,you're as crazy and retarded as her,
But I wouldn't mind,what is more important is your soul,
I wish to take your hand
Like a rocket,
Fly away from this Earth,
Come to me,
We can settle at the moon,
Let's die together,let's have a new life ahead.
I really love your smile...
A unforgettable and irresistible smile.
How I wish you were mine,
So that I can express my feeling to you...
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