I am finally posting Lincoln's birth story. I know it has taken me 6 weeks to do it, but better late than never right?!
A lot of what I am sharing is from my journal and from text messages (yes, I still have the text messages I wrote to my family while I was delivering). I wanted to wait to share this when the blog went private because I only wanted people I know to read it because it is dear to me and this is pretty much my journal. If you don't want to read all the details (because I'm not holding back) then you can just scroll to see the pictures.
I was convinced that I would have Lincoln early...like weeks early! I had my hospital bag packed at 36 weeks and was ready at any second. At each of my ob visits, I would get checked and every time I made the same progress...none. My doctor had stripped my membranes/stretched me two weeks in a row in hopes that it would move me along, but to my luck, it didn't.
On September 8th, I had another check from my doctor. No luck. He then asked if I wanted a cervidel which would help soften my cervix. I nodded my head yes. He then got on the phone with Davis Hospital and said he needed to schedule an induction and a cervidel the night before. I left the doctors office knowing that I would be checking into the Hospital Monday night and 8:00PM and that I would be having my little boy sometime the next day, Tuesday September 14th.
Monday September 13, 2010
All day I was so excited that I would be starting my induction later that day. I vacuumed the house not just once, but twice! I wanted the house to be completely perfect and clean for when we brought Lincoln home. I got all the laundry done and went to the store to get last minute things to stock the fridge and freezer. I showered and straightened my hair. I was ready.
We got to the Davis Hospital at 7:30 PM. We went to check in at the main entrance but they sent us to the ER instead. We sat there and signed papers and then we were taken up to the second floor to Labor and Delivery. When we got there at 8:30, they didn't have my room ready so we waited in the hall. It was crazy standing there, looking into room 207 thinking, 'this is finally it. There is where I'll be having my baby tomorrow!'
The nurse came in and gave me the gown to change into. Once I got dressed, I just sat on the edge of the bed. I didn't know really what to do. I started getting nervous. James kept telling me to calm down. I told him I wanted to go get the nurse to tell her I'm ready, but James just told me, "she knows you are in here, she'll come in when she's ready. Just be patient."
After about 20 minutes my nurse Michelle came in. She was so sweet. She introduced herself and put me at ease explaining all that was going to happen. She explained that cervidel would soften my cervix to help me dilate. She said it's inserted and kept there for 12 hours. Then once it's taken out at 7 in the morning, they'll start the pitocin. She then checked me and said I was about 50% effaced but 0% dilated. Let's be honest, I already knew that. She then got the cervidel ready. I was thinking it would be more like a gel type ointment, but instead it was like nylon with a piece of paper on the end. She inserted it at 9:00 PM. I had to stay laying in bed, without food and water for about an hour to two.
At 10:00, my hour mark, I was given a turkey and provolone sandwich on wheat bread. If anybody knows me, I dislike all 3 of those things, but I was so hungry, I downed that sandwich! I ate as much as I could because starting at midnight, I was only able to have ice chips.
At 10:30 I was able to get at of bed. I organized all my things, and got ready for bed.
At 11:05 I started having painful contractions about 4 minutes apart. Michelle came in and I told her about the contractions and she said she could give me a shot in the hip that would help with the contraction pains. Don't mind if I do! Oh My Goodness! That shot was the worst thing in the whole world! At least she warned me it would burn and be one of the most painful things I would feel during this whole experience. The medicine helped with the contractions, made me dizzy, but put me to sleep. I was so happy to have a decent night sleep before the big day.
I was monitored the whole the whole time I was there. I had one monitor on monitoring my contractions and another monitor to monitor Lincoln's heart bead. His heart beat was strong and has only dropped slightly during one contraction. The nurse and Dr. H were pleased by how well Lincoln and I are doing so far.
Tuesday September 14, 2010
The nurse came in at 6:30AM to start my IV. She was going to wait to give it to me later, but my monitors kept going off or something - I honestly don't remember what she told me exactly because of all the drugs I was given. I was extremely loopy.
At 7:15AM Michelle removed the cervidel. I was dilated to a 1 and 'a wiggle' (whatever that means) and 60% effaced.
At 7:30 I was so tired. I had gotten more pain medicine at 4:00AM and I wanted more. I got a new nurse Sheryl.
At 8:10AM they started the Pitocin. I'M HAVING A BABY TODAY!
8:45 AM. Sheryl increased the pitocin. I started to really feel the contractions hard in my back. Sheryl came in and said Lincoln's heart beat kept going up and that he was a really active guy. She reassured me that having his heartbeat go up was fine - it just went up in spurts)
9:10 AM The nurse came in and said she has noticed Lincoln's heartbeat now dropping after contractions. She had me switch to my right side and put me on oxygen. She slowed the pitocin and said she'd watch and see what happens in the next 30 minutes. Lincoln may not be handling the pitocin well.
At 9:30 my mom came to visit. Kelli had to get a procedure done at the same hospital so while my mom as waiting for her to be done, she came to visit. I was nice talking to her and having a visitor.
What a complete surprise! My water broke all by itself at 9:50! I had just gone to the bathroom and laid back in bed. I started feeling lots of pressure and thought that something was wrong. I had an urge to push. Then suddenly I started feeling warm liquid. I quickly said to my mom, "mom, I think my water just broke." Then suddenly I felt a gush. Yep, it broke all right! I paged the nurse and laughed when I said, I think my water just broke. She came in and confirmed that my water indeed just broke! She then checked me and I was dilated 2 1/2 cm.
By 10:20 my contractions were every 2 minutes apart and SO PAINFUL! I quickly paged the nurse and told her I was ready for my epidural. By 10:35 I had my epidural. The epidural wasn't painful at all! I had heard horror stories about how painful it was, but compared to the contractions, the needle pain was nothing. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed and the doctor told me to hold the pillow and bend forward. I had to wait in between contractions to do so because I hurt so bad!
I can't believe how fast the epidural worked. When he was done placing the epidural, I was ready to lay back in bed, but my legs were already tingling and getting numb. James and my nurse had to help me back in bed. Having my lower half was the strangest feeling ever! When the nurse would come and check me, she'd have James come and help move my legs (because I obviously couldn't) but seeing my legs move and not being able to feel it was crazy!
At noon, Dr. H came in to check on me. I was dilated to a 3 and 80% effaced. He stretched my cervix again, hoping I would start progressing faster.
By 1:00 I was completely off the pitocin. My nurse was so good at keeping a close eye on the monitors and would notice that Lincoln was not handling the contractions well and his heart rate kept dropping. I knew it'd be a slow process now because the pitocin wasn't going to be helping me dilate and get things rolling.
Around 2:30 they started the Pit again. And by 3:00 my nursed called Dr. H and told him that Lincoln's heart rate kept dropping again so he told her to get me off pit again. When Dr. H came in he started looking at the computers and didn't know why exactly Lincoln was having such a hard time. He then inserted an internal scalp monitor to easily track his heart rate and an internal contraction monitor. Dr. H stayed by the monitor to watch my contractions so he and the nurses could monitor Lincoln more closely.
It had been about 5 hours since I got my epidural and I was starting to feel my legs again. I wanted every 5 minutes to go by fast so I could push the button for more epidural medicine. Feeling the pain and contractions was not fun!
Finally at 3:45 they checked me again. I was 90% effaced and close to 5 cm. This has taken so long! I wasn't even half way dilated yet and i've been going at this for 8 hours!
An hour later my nurse came in to check on me. I was on the pitocin again, but we could never get past 6 mm. I asked the nurse if it usually takes this long to get dilated and how much pitocin I should be getting. She explained that the normal dosage of pitocin is 20 mm and that we have gone a long time without progressing that we should probably prepare for a C-section. She then said she'd call Dr. H again and have him come in. She was getting concerned because Lincoln's heartrate was still dropping and was dropping a lot more than before and I still wasn't progressing on my own.
I text my mom and sisters at 4:53PM - 'A C-section would be fun huh?!' The responses I got back were..'shut up?!' 'What?!', 'Are you serious?'
I then explained to them that Lincoln wasn't responding well to the pit. We should have been at 20 mm but we could only get up to a 6. If we went up any higher, his heart rate would drop drastically. The text I got back from my mom was, 'Wow. Are you ok?' and all I replied was, 'No'.
As soon as the Nurse went to call Dr. H, I had a melt down. I cried to James. James was asking questions about a c-section and pros and cons and concerns and I was trying my best to explain the little I knew. I wasn't expecting this at all. I had read all during my pregnancy about vaginal births and what to expect. I never, ever read anything about a c-section, and I wasn't prepared. And the scariest part was that Lincoln was in danger.
At 5:12 PM, my mom text - 'it doesn't seem that you've been in labor long enough to have to do a c-section.' I then explained that the problem is that I couldn't have strong enough contractions becuase it would drop Lincoln's heart rate..which means I was barely dilating every 3 hours, instead of every hour and if we go too long, it is harmful to Lincoln.
Dr. H came in shortly after and had a look. He checked me and told me that I hadn't dilated since he came in 4 hours ago. He then checked all the monitors. He printed out all my latest contractions and Lincoln's heart rate. He didn't seem too concerned at this point and said he'd be back in 2 hours to check me again. At 5:45 he left.
I then text my mom telling here that in 2 hours we will know more. She said she'd wait to hear the decision and call my mother in law. During this whole labor experience, James kinda kept his family out of the loop. My mother in law ended up calling my mom to get all the updates! ha. James was content watching Jurassic Park on our computer. I'm sure that is what I would have been doing if I wasn't sleeping the whole day. Waiting for baby to come seems pretty boring for the dad.
At 6:15 Dr. H was back in my room with the nurse and said that He didn't like what he was seeing. Lincolns heart rate was getting lower and lower with every contraction and he was getting worried about him and things were just getting worse. He told us and the nurse to prepare for surgery.
I tried so hard to keep the tears from coming. While Dr. H and the nurse and the anesthesiologist were prepping me, I kept making jokes and trying to keep my mind off of the situation. As soon as they all left, I covered my eyes and started to bawl. James came over to my side and held my hand and told me everything was going to be okay. He kept so calm during it all. I didn't want to have a c-section, I was worried about Lincoln. Everything was happening so fast! What happened to 2 hours of waiting?
I asked James to hand me my cell phone. I had to call my mom. When she answered, I was bawling. I told her I was having a c-section right now and that I couldn't do it and that I was scared. I could tell she was trying to hold back her tears. She told me everything was going to be okay and that they just needed to get little Lincoln out. She wished me luck and told me she loved me. I hung up the phone, not being able to breath because I was crying so hard.
The nurse then came in and gave James his 'getup' for surgery and wheeled me off to surgery.
I laid in the surgery room looking at all the lights shinning down on me. Dr. H was there getting set up. The nurse was getting the tools ready and the anesthesiologist was behind me hooking me up to all the monitors.
The nurse opened my gown and started putting the iodine all over my tummy. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to be seeing what I was seeing. I didn't want to be in this situation.
At 6:30 PM the blue sheet was finally placed in front of me and James was brought in. He sat by my head, holding my hand. James was so great! He kept talking to me for my sake and for his. I didn't want to be thinking about what was going on behind that blue sheet and he didn't want to see what was going on because he'd pass out. I asked him if he could see what was going on and he said he didn't want to. Then, the anesthesiologist told me, 'you're cut open right now, you have about one more layer to get though.' Hum, thanks, I didn't want to know what was going on! I didn't want to know that my stomach was sliced open and that I was awake for it! Thanks doc!
I started feeling tons of pressure and pulling. My whole body getting tugged each and every way. I squeezed James' hand hard. He kept talking to me. The pressure I was feeling and the pulling...I will never forget that.
Suddenly, all at once Dr. H and the nurses all said, "well that explains it!" They could see that Lincoln was lodged in my stomach. Dr. H said that the way he was positioned, I would have had to have had a c-section no matter what. Lincoln was in brow presentation, meaning:
Rarely, (about 1 in every 2000 births, or 0.05%) the baby's head extends back. so that their forehead leads the way. This is called a 'brow presentation'. A brow presentation tends to be more common for women having their second, or subsequent baby, and is usually something that occurs by chance. The baby being in a brow presentation is usually not detected until the labour.
More commonly though, a baby being in a brow presentation is diagnosed when the labour is not progressing, and the baby's head remains high and unengaged. (I was at a -2) The caregiver will usually diagnose this with an internal vaginal examination, as it will often feel 'different'. However, because the forehead can feel hard, and rounded, similar to the hard round crown of the baby's head, this can sometimes be difficult for the caregiver to make out.
http://www.birth.com.au/Brow-presentation/Brow-presentations-about
Then, suddenly the pressure stopped and at 6:44 PM we heard a little whine. Me and James looked at each other. Our eyes were glued on each other. Since I was still on oxygen and James had on a mask, there wasn't any verbal communication when we heard Lincoln. It was all in our eyes. You could see joy, excitement, relief and gratitude in James' eyes.
The nurse said Lincoln would look a little scary for a little bit as she brought him back behind the blue curtain. I got to look at my precious baby boy. That look only lasted 2 seconds because the nurse called to James and said, "Dad, let's go." James, Lincoln and the nurse took off out of the room.
I laid there in bed, over whelmed. Suddenly, I felt lots of pressure again. I was all alone this time and started to cry. I suddenly got nauseous. I kept telling the anesthesiologist I was going to throw up and to take off my oxygen mask. He obviously didn't think I was being serious, so I ripped it off and started dry heaving. (remember, I hadn't eaten since midnight, so I had nothing in my stomach) And that was the last thing I remembered from the surgery. The anesthesiologist gave me some anti nausea medicine which knocked me out.
I woke up in the same room we were in previously that day. And when I woke up, I was in so much pain! The nurse gave me some morphine but I wasn't responding to it. She had never seen someone is so much pain after a c-section. My epidural had worn off, hence all the pain.
It wasn't until 8:15 PM, an hour and a half after Lincoln was born, that I saw Lincoln. The nurse had to get my pain under control before James and Lincoln came in. The nurse told James that I wasn't doing very well right before He had entered the room. Finally that pain got under control and i got to see my baby boy for the first time.
I immediately wanted to hold my baby Lincoln. It only lasted about 5 seconds because I was so weak, there were so many cords hooked up to me and I was so dizzy I thought I would drop him.
see, this picture explains it all.
James was instantly a perfect Daddy.
Once the dizziness subsided, I attempted to hold my son again. This time it was much better. It is crazy the immediate love you can have for an individual. I loved him so much! He was perfect.
I was so out of it that it was hard for me to understand what was going on. I asked James all of Lincoln's stats: Born at 6:44 PM, 6 pounds 14 ounces, 21 inches long. I think I asked him like 20 times because I couldn't remember!
I had James explain to me (over and over again, because I couldn't remember) how he was doing right after he was born. Lincoln's APGAR score was a low 3, but by the second test, he was a 9. I am so glad James took pictures of Lincoln right after he was born because I couldn't be there. This is everything that happened while I was setting stapled, yes stapled up.
you can see his bulge on his left side of his head. That is where he was stuck. Luckily, the lopsidedness went away after a few hours, but his head remained bruised for a week or so.
We were then taken into our new room and I called my family to come visit the newest addition to our family.
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| My parents with their 5th Grandbaby |
Uncle Scotty
Aunti Kelli
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| First family photo |
Through out our 5 day stay in the hospital, we had lots of visitors. Here are some of the people who came and stopped by!
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| James' Mom. Grandma Wright |
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| James' Dad. Grandpa Wright |
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| Lincoln with cousin Jayci |
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| Uncle Mitch |
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| Lincoln with Great Grandma Mitchell |
Lincoln and my mom again.
And here are the rest of the picture from our looong hospital stay.
Looking back on this whole experience, I know that the Lord was looking out for us. I realized how much He really cares for me.
Right before we left for the hospital on Monday night, my sweet neighbor came to wish me good luck. As she was leaving, she told me she hopes all goes well. I told her it will. But when I said that, I had an uneasy feeling, like something was going to go wrong. I put it in the back of my mind. I should have listened tot he spirit better, because the Lord was trying to prepare me for the unexpected delivery I had in front of me. He tried to warn me again, as I was signing papers at the hospital. I had to sign a paper about in case of a c-section... The nurse told me we wouldn't have to worry about it, but I still had to sign it anyways. The spirit told me to read it, I didn't, because I had my will, I wasn't listening to the Lords will.
As I look back at all the nurses we had I am truly grateful. Each nurse helped me in each stage of delievery. My first nurse Michelle was so kind. She was able to comfort me when I was anxious and didn't know what to expect, considering this was my first baby. My second nurse, Sheryl was so concerned about Lincoln and his little heart. She was always checking on us and checking the monitors, having me switch positions, kept in close contact with my doctor, and kept the pit down so it wasn't doing harm to Lincoln. My third nurse, was not as nice as the first two and was a lot more blunt. At that moment while I had her as my nurse, I thought she was mean and I wanted my other nurse back. But looking back, she was the nurse I need at the time. She was the nurse who was blunt in telling me I would probably be getting a c-section. I honestly needed someone to be blunt with me so I could start to prepare myself.
I'm also grateful, as crazy as this sounds that I was able to go through most of a vaginal delivery. I'm grateful that I was able to feel what real contractions were and what it felt like to have my water break...on it's own. At least if I have to have c-sections for the rest of my babies, at least I know what true labor feels like.
I'm also grateful, as crazy as this sounds that I was able to go through most of a vaginal delivery. I'm grateful that I was able to feel what real contractions were and what it felt like to have my water break...on it's own. At least if I have to have c-sections for the rest of my babies, at least I know what true labor feels like.
Even though the delivery of Lincoln was traumatizing and there were many tears shed (there were many tears shed as I wrote this also) I am grateful for how he was born. Everything worked out in the end. I am healthy and have had a healthy recovery. When I delivered I was 148, and 2 weeks after delivery I was down to 125. I'm happy the pounds have melted away because I haven't been able to get out and exercise. I now only have 4 pounds to loose to get to my pre-pregnancy weight.
Even though Lincoln is only 6 weeks old, I already have anxiety for my next delivery. Would a c-section happen again? My dr. says we will try for a VBAC for my next child, which I am really happy about. He hopes that my next baby won't have the same issue like Lincoln had. But even if I do have to have a c-section with my next kids, hopefully it'll be planned and I wont have to go through the nightmare I did with Lincoln.
I love my baby boy so much. I love being a stay at home mom where I can hold and cuddle him all day. Motherhood is the greatest thing, and I am so grateful I have the privileged of being a mother.
