♥A Love Affair

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Tuesday 20th Sept 2011

When I looked at the original live video of the song that I am using, I became stressed out because the dance choreography looks so different from the dance framework of the song.

How do I make it look exactly like the live performance?

However, it is too late to follow the original live performance so I have to make do with the current one that I am learning.

Not only that, I am not familiar with the dance choreography that I am learning, especially at the last portion of the song since I learnt that recently only.

It is too late for me to change my song too.

I will still give my best to make do with what I know.

Wednesday 21th Sept 2011

Today is the 2nd last day for the recording to start in order to get ready for submission.

This afternoon, I met up with the rest to practice in the booked dance studio.

I still have to continue learning dance choreography as I have a bit more to learn.

I was sick for the past few days so I didn't get to complete learning at home.

Later, I had dinner in the school canteen with the rest.

I am so tired when i reached home so didn't touch anything related to dance.

Thurs 22th Sept 2011

Today is the final day to record because we didn't book the dance studio for subsequent days and need 2 weeks in advance to book.

Since I had the dance studio key with me, I planned to reach there early and start making use of time to practice.

However, my stomach felt uncomfortable and I started feeling unwell.

I went a few times to the toilet and was determined to reach the dance studio.

Grace was supposed to be the first to record videos because she had to rush for classes.

Grace ended up reaching late so she had really short time to do her recording.

Her expressions in the middle of the recording were hilarious.

After Grace left for her classes, we continue learning on our own.

I finally finished choreo learning but didn't have enough confidence especially about the last part of the dance.

I did a few times and my energy was depleted at a rapid rate.

In addition, I am hungry which worsen my stamina even more.

Edith and me went to Grace's hostel to pass the dance studio keys to Grace's room mate.

For dinner, I went to sakae sushi to eat alone and I felt so contented eating on my own along with my self entertainment.

After my satisfactory dinner, I went to the library to borrow books for tomorrow.

Fri 23rd Sept 2011

I accompanied my mama to the hospital for her physiotherapy session.

During her session, I went out to take a walk and ended up lost on my way back to the physiotherapy department.

Spending time at hospitals makes me sleepy.

In the night, I looked through my recorded videos to choose the best video for submission.

- I regretted taking the video at such an angle.
- The lighting made my face look very white in the video
- My dance was all in a mess either wrong step, wrong timing or obvious pauses in between dance steps and hesitation.

I tried to submit the best video but the page kept loading without any progress.

I looked through the rules of the competition and realised that the rules have changed.

1st - deadline of video submission has been extended to 9 oct 2011.
2nd - can submit as many videos as you can

Edith suggested that there might not have enough potential people so they have decided to extend.

I have decided since they have given me a chance, I might as well record a better video and submit.

Sat 24th Sept 2011 & Sun 25th Sept 2011

I am going to start learning the 2nd song for submission.

Stress is back again.

writtern @5:27 PM

Monday, September 19, 2011

Monday 19 Sept 2011

Happy birthday to my mama!

Happy birthday to my friend, Yikky!

On the downside, I am still sick but I am much better compared to the past few days since Friday. During the weekends, I felt too dizzy to move around and keep lying in bed with stomach grumbling because I didn't have the energy to walk around and search for food in the kitchen. In addition, I don't have voice to communicate too. It is frustrating at times.

I just want to recover fast so that I can be in good form for recording. Jia you!!

I am unhappy that administrative matters take a long time to process and they are unresponsive to the urgency.

In terms of another issue, how can there be 14 working days to process such a simple application??

Why is there a need to impose GST when it is just booking the dance studio in school?

Many people are just taking money in the name of GST when there is absolutely no need of doing so.

writtern @9:23 PM

Friday, September 16, 2011

Friday 16 Sept 2011

I woke up, still feeling the same way as I did yesterday.

My parents was leaving the house to check out renovation issues and left me at home on my own. While I was listening to loud music in my living room, the person who came to install our new windows started knocking the door. The uncle called up the person-in-charge and talked loudly saying that the people are not at home and he needed electricity in order to install the windows. I quickly called up my papa to come home because I didn't want to keep the uncle waiting. Over the phone, I had a hard time talking because I am losing my voice. In addition to that, my papa kept saying: "huh?" (my papa thinks he is hard of hearing but actually there is no problem with his hearing, just that he is not having full concentration at all). Since I really close to losing my voice, I kept saying the keyword on the phone: "electricity! electricity! electricity!"

Finally, my parents came home and the uncle managed to start doing his work. My papa took me to see the doctor. Later on, I went home to sleep. I had a hard time sleeping because my papa was watching show at a loud volume and I kept receiving hp messages.

My new friend, E, messaged me asking whether I want to join her dance group. I am really honoured to do so. It, in a way, shows that my dance style and ability is well accepted. (^_^) Whatever happened last year 2010 gave me a terrible fear. I started fearing whether people ignore me, dislike me without any reason or any of that anti-social behaviour that they showed to me. It hurts when the people that you hang out with dislikes you in the first place and you are unaware of this and there isn't any reason.

On the other hand, my new friend G, we are more of talking buddies. I guess she is curious about me so we start chatting. She is also someone who discusses about attitude in dance movements. This is really a level up compared to those people who just talked about dance movements.

Watching Brilliant Legacy - Lee Seung Ki is really a good actor. He is adorable in the show when he keeps noticing the girl. His actions and eyes - wah that is really a lot of effort done to portray the character's feelings at the moment.

Currently reading Brad Meltzer- The Inner Circle. This book is much better than The Millionaires. The Inner Circle draws me right into the story and since I know some of the terms because of his own show-Decoded, I can identify easily. It is a pity that he didn't write non-fiction books. I prefer him to write books just like his show is. It is a really fascinating topic - all those conspiracies, hidden agendas and secret groups.

Seriously, the school is so slow in replying my urgent email. I think I have to call up the school once I have my voice back.

Again, I wish I can see you right in front of me.

writtern @11:31 PM

Thursday 15 Sept 2011

I don't feel like myself today. In fact, I am feeling under the weather with sore throat and slight dizziness till I am "lagging". I spent most of my time resting in bed and sleeping. My sore throat is getting worst till the extent that I can't even speak, let alone sing.

I may have to give up my singing portion and concentrate more on dancing for the recording.

Such bad timing.

I feel so weak that I am this close to losing my entire strength.

I didn't touch dancing today because my mind is not in a state of rushing dance beats and learning dance steps.

During evening time, I went to open the door and saw my brother standing outside and looking at the 2 (not local) workers who came to clear the renovation rubbish. Later on, my brother told me that, at that time, one of the workers was looking at him and talking to him but in his own foreign language. My brother was speechless because he didn't understand what he was talking about. A while later, after they wheeled the rubbish to the lift area, the other worker kept standing near the railing (which was directly at our house window) and kept looking in my direction and also into the house, while smiling and talking to me in his own foreign language. This is creepy that I didn't even dare to look at his direction. I immediately closed the door after my brother came into the house. I mean, how would you feel, if a stranger starts looking at close distance into your house and the people in the house, in addition to smiling and talking in a language that we don't understand.

I like Bae Soo Bin..kekeke.

Whenever I see him in the tv drama, I smile brightly!

Perhaps if you like someone, you tend to smile brightly like a ba-bo (fool)! haha

writtern @12:07 AM

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Wed 14 SEPT 2011

This morning, I spent a major portion of my time on writing down the dance steps for my performance item in my dance notebook and I am glad that I managed to complete it. I spent many days working on this. It is not easy to record all the dance steps in written form but I have done it. Usually, I will learn dance steps just by watching video but sometimes when I am getting nowhere, I would rather change to a different way of learning dance steps. In fact, I can say I am learning even more since I am breaking it all down and 'analysing' it movement by movement. I have already managed to learn half of the song.

For lunch, I had instant noodles because it was not convenient for me to go in and out of the house. The outside portion of my house is having renovation. We are building an extra room outside and the progress of renovation is getting better. I love the window area. It would be a great place to view scenery except that the lift gets in the way.

I came out of my house later than I had planned. When I was at the mrt station, my friend E notified me that she had already reached the school. Last night, I told them that I will try to be earlier than 3pm because I don't want to waste the booked slots. Anyways, I still reached there before 3pm so it was alright.

The dance studio is nice but too bad there wasn't any sound system. I used my papa's mini portable sound system instead and it was good enough. Perhaps I am being self conscious so I wasn't on my top form when we were there practising on our own. All 3 of us took one corner each so that we can practice on our own. Did I learn better there than at home?? Hmm, there wasn't much difference haha (not that I know of). Slightly before 6pm, the electricity went off and I thought it was a blackout. Ahh, it was just a signal of telling us that we ought to leave the dance studio.

We quickly packed our stuff in the dark and went out to the canteen to have dinner. After I bought my dinner, I went to the drink stall to buy canned drink at the stall and the (not local) cashier started saying "ss-ca-de, ss-ca-de" and keep pointing at the can. (?_?)?? After a long time, i realised what she wanted to do, she needed the canned drinkso that she can SCAN the barcode of the canned drink. (=_=)"" Orhhh "ss-ca-de" = scan (Her own pronunication).

E left before us because her dad came to fetch her home. G and me had a long chat and she accompanied me to the bus stop. We didn't get to talk longer because the bus came. It was a pleasant journey but it was raining heavily.

I reached Jurong Point and bought an item complementary to a product I am using and walked a while before heading home via the train. It was too crowded to take the bus. Along the way home, I bought bread for my family's breakfast.

When I reached home, the newly tiled floor looked so beautiful. Seriously, I could not believe that we are actually building an extension of the house. This idea was discussed for at least 10 years and it was too long till we didn't believe that it would ever materialise. And it is happening right now!!

I watched 3 TV programs at home (which is rare) since I seldom switched on the TV to watch programs. The most disappointing news was that the night safari Halloween party will be cancelled. I have been wanting to go there for many years. So what am I going to do for Halloween? I hope that there are similar Halloween parties around.

These 2 weeks, I have been dreaming of people that I seldom have contact with for many years or for a long time. Eg: one of my aunts (from paternal side), my step cousin (whom I have last seen in primary 6) and HEI TU.

I wish Hei Tu can just appear right in front of me.

Last Saturday (before my Sunday's filming), I dreamt of Hei Tu and I slept very well that night. Dreams about Hei Tu are always very colourful, bright, realistic and I can always see his face very clearly. The feelings are the same too. Even though we didn't talk to each other for months now, it was still a pleasant thing that Hei Tu appeared in my dream and just nice that it was a day before my filming. Haha, I can put it as communication even though we didn't manage to physically talk to each other. Not that I am the one who refused to communicate, I have tried a few times to talk to Hei Tu but Hei Tu didn't even reply. How can I go on like this? That's why I need to stop communicating for a while.

You must have think: " aiya, you keep on thinking of Hei Tu showing up, that's why Hei Tu showed up in your dream."

That's not true. It is very hard to have Hei Tu in my dreams. So far, Hei Tu only appeared in my dreams a limited number of times, maybe less than 5 times.

Hei Tu, you are out of sight but you are never out of my mind.

You have became a part of me comfortably.

Strangely, I feel a peace of mind.

You give me a feeling that I have never experienced on other people.

I can't neither explain nor describe it but the notion of different feeling still stands firmly.

I can tell that there is something in the air but I don't know what it is.

Do you feel it too??

I wonder.

writtern @12:44 AM

Friday, July 29, 2011

29 July 2011 FRIDAY

My thoughts about (WE GOT MARRIED) KOREAN VARIETY SHOW PART 1

These days, I have decided to summon my courage to watch WGM.

WGM has been running for a few years and I know I have missed out a lot due to studies as my first priority.

I didn't finish watching the first season and I was heart broken when one of the first seasons couple - Alex and ShinAe Couple had to stop filming because they have busy schedules and later, ShinAe married to another in real life.

Of course, Alex was heartbroken, so were many fans of this couple, including me.

From this couple, I learnt a lot.

First lesson: Don't ever end up in their unfortunate situation, they slowly like each other but due to wrong timings, when they came back again, they were awkward once more and things went downhill after that and with irreversible changes too.

2nd Lesson: When you feel something is different, go with your gut feelings and persevere.

From the first season, everyone's wish is that we can find someone like Alex as our soul mate.

He has all the qualities a girl likes (ideal type).

I sincerely hope that Alex will not let go a similar situation next time and all the best to him!!

I am a fan of his songs and personality now because of the show.

He has a soothing voice which I like.

I like Shinae too.

How I wish I can be her friend and she is real pretty with a good personality.

Seriously hard to find this kind of girl.....^_^

I would love to watch the JunJin couple because I am a fan of Shinhwa and I wonder how he behaves if he is married!!

Unfortunately, I couldn't find any videos and my laptop couldn't watch youtube videos for unknown reasons.

This is frustrating!!!!

Alright, so fast forward to the present!

I am currently watching 3-4 couples in the current season

First, watching the Brave Couple - Won Jun and So Hyun.
- I love this couple!!
- so different from the rest because they are much more mature and they really are thinking of getting in the situation.
- i like the feeling i get from the couple - calm, collected, mutual respect, peaceful
- perhaps the kind of feeling that people are hoping for in a marriage?
- both of them are so caring and sweet to each other
- and the events that they each have can make me feel so touched
- i really hope they can get married for sure!!

hmm, learning to cook is important!

being capable is important too!

i am really impressed on how capable they are!

2nd, Seohyun and Yonghwa couple
- initially i didn't plan to watch this, haha, self-resistance, but gave in at the later stage haha
- soon, i got hooked on watching this couple haha
- they are cute!!! ahhhhhhh
- i am surprised that yonghwa is quite active and seohyun's personality is so so good!
- well, i am amazed that i can identify with seohyun's personality!! haha
- they really do sweet things for each other
- i didn't expect yonghwa to be so thoughtful, caring, protective and his jealousy is adorable
- hmm somehow maybe i can get some ideas of how a guy behaves when he likes a girl and compare it with (---)
- i can compare their shocked expressions to (---) so i can understand better
- heez thanks!
- i wish this couple can stay for long but it is not the case
- despite so, i hope they still can stay in contact with each other and develop their r/s further!!! heez
- initially yonghwa was scared over the haunted house but when it was time for the horror special, it was really manly that he will protect seohyun during the horror course. Thumbs up!!

Comment: So cool!!! I like it!! haha this is what dependable feels like haha.
Alright, so one ideal quality - someone of a dependable nature, will protect at the right moment and not afraid!!!

- I like his protective nature, especially when they were at the pool tables

Comment:Another ideal quality - protective nature, heez, and a bit of possessiveness (since a long time ago, i prefer someone of a slightly possessiveness nature but ever since some of my gal friends are possessive of me, i think this quality is not really a good one. I was miserable about this. Hmmm, but a guy of possessive nature, will it be different? hmm, I have no idea)

- he remembers every little thing that seohyun says and notices all his little habits
(omg, this is like signs of liking the girl leh, does he even know that? )
- the way he looks at her (awwww) and he always smile at her, haven't a hard time to prevent himself from having a big smile (awwww)
- i like it when he feels sorry for certain things and tries to make up for it

Comment: This is good, guys usually don't feel sorry and don't even try to make up for it, this is a rare guy!

haha, I am having a lot of praises for this couple! Can't help it, they are adorable!

But I will pause at here about this couple because I need to finish writing this post by today. (don't want to align later)

3rd couple: Eunjung and Jangwoo Couple
- Jangwoo is another dependable guy and I am amazed that he likes camping around.
- what a rare hobby!
- it is interesting to see that despite him being an actor, he couldn't really conceal his unhappiness and emotions.
- he is sweet to eunjung too but rather mischievous and sneaky but at the same time, you can't really hate him
- it is cute when he asked other guys to go to the washroom to have a chat haha

Comment: it is cool when your guy drives you around and doing some travelling in his car haha
It is important to give and take too and communication is crucial to make a relationship work, needless to say.

4th couple: Victoria and Nickhun couple
- hmmm the lift dancing was funny haha!!
- i would love to great my friends using dance but i don't have friends like that
- nickhun is also another dependable and capable guy
- victoria is amazingly good at everything she does and with a good personality too!!
- i especially love it when victoria was about to fall and he just automatically put his hand behind her back just in case she falls (somemore when he wasn't really looking at her) COOL!
heez, i watched that many times on repeat mode haha
(that is seriously gentleman behaviour, hmm but is there any component of 'liking' in it?)

The horror special that showcase the 3 couples is the best!!

I love it
- when yonghwa is so manly to protect seohyun
- when nickhun asked victoria to hide behind him
- when kwon joins along with the ghosts haha
- jungshin goes alone in the horror course

Hmm, I am going to start watching kwon and ga in's episodes soon haha, i remembered watching the first episode and it really hilarious.

I like kwon's interesting and unique personality, like a fresh breath of air.

ok, i am done talking about this, will continue next time!!

Time to publish post right now!!

writtern @11:31 PM

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Saturday 9 July 2011

I felt unwell in the morning and spent my time sleeping till evening time.

Must be due to eating durians last night.

My body felt warm (though I didn't have fever), head hurt and I felt dizzy when I get away from the bed.

I fell into a deep sleep and wake up at 5.30pm.

Hmm, I felt much better but the heaty feeling is still there.

Better drink some cooling drinks.

I am not going to eat durians soon. haha

Must watch over my health.

==

Organising meetups is tough especially when every single one has its own opinions on what to do and where to meet up.

But I should press on.

I have one list of meetups to organise. Aii, I haven't start organising because everyone's scheule is busy and I am not sure of my own potential schedule too.

==

What can I do and What do I do?

I am stuck with a difficult scenario and I can't help it.

Have to move ahead no matter what happens.

writtern @11:09 PM

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Wednesday 6 July 2011

I have forgotten the simple and important fact that I cannot rationalise things that cannot be rationalise in the first place.

Just like adding apples and oranges which can't be equated into a single sum unless they are calculated in monetary terms.

I used to think that I should follow my feelings.

But then again, studies and feelings are best not put together at the same time.

Feelings have to be controlled and prevented it from going astray.

After this encounter, I shouldn't deny my own feelings.

My consciousness keeps ignoring this subconscious aspect of me and recently, my subconscious aspect has become louder compared to my consciousness.

This is the first time it has happened to me.

Ever since knowing this person, it is as though my heart has been caught in surprise.

I wonder whether HEI TU feels it too?

No matter what happens, my heart feels as though HEI TU has settled into my heart and is always with me.

I feel at peace with another person in my heart.

But I don't want this feeling to get stronger because there is no chance of seeing HEI TU again.

I do think of HEI TU everyday, more like an "off on" thing.

All along, I keep on battling within myself whether to continue or give up.

I was at the crossroads.

Now, with studies not in the way anymore, I can think better with a clear head.

My answer is: I decided to continue even if it is tough.

In the mean time, I want to be an even better person. ^_^

writtern @3:49 PM