3 Days of Highs and Lows

Ended 3rd day at my new workplace.

Day 1 felt anxious and lost.
Day 2 Continue Lost...but was happy and delighted after receiving the long distance call.
Day 3 felt the stress start piling up.

My feelings about this new company has just been weird.
1st day got immediate transfer to the other parent company. Havent been introduced to anyone nor anyone to me. Uncomfortable to some extend when until Day 3 I still duno the people around me and most of them doesnt seemed to be friendly also. Keeping myself most of the time. It just seems that no one bothers who I am and what I am doing.

Hopefully the days after will be better bah.......

Family problems never fail to pull my feeling down

Why must I always be the one to be considerate in the family? 

Just some time ago, I had been told to pack rice for my brother if I know he is not working and is at home and to pay the internet fees for him. Reason been that he is my brother and I earn more than him. So I had furthered my studies for higher pay just to support another person. So what have I done wrong? The only thing I did was to be more considerate and not create any problems in the family to my mum since young, doing all the housework while she work, cooking meals for him & his friends, preparing breakfast for my mum, changing things like TV, Audio, blu-ray and etc; and all these brought me more problems than happiness. 

I had already given up hope trying to be like normal kids/ people around since I start to understand life. No matter how hard I try, it will just not work out to be it is. Growing up in a Single-Parent family has already been tough but I have went through it and surviving but the next phrase of my life after I have grown up will be harder and harder financially. I have long given up the thought of setting up my own family after my army life when I had gone out to work and understands how hard it is to set up a family when my own will burden me forever. And perhaps I never want to start any relationship and cause burden to another person/family. With the personality of mum whom isn't keen to take actions to make life better but choose to complain this and that and a brother whom had been always putting the blame on everyone in the family for his messed up life and sick body. Who really cares of what I am thinking and what my plans were? No one is interested and I am getting tired year after year and hoping the end will be near to relieve me from all these. Perhaps I am not strong enough and do not earn enough like bankers, brokers, insurance agents, property agents and etc but what I know is that I had put in the same amount of effort like them in my job and striving hard to change my life but this age, I am exhausted already. Living a short life could be better. Perhaps I have chose to run away from problems but these aren't things that I can resolve or make any difference.