Date : Thursday, September 16, 2010
Time : 9/16/2010 05:08:00 PM
Title : It's not the end, it's just the beginning...

YAY!
Prelims are over! Finally able to take a short break for about 1-2days before i start revising for Olevels.
This week was hectic.
Everything was in a mess, for i did not start revising earlier :O
Papers were like cramp together, especially having two major papers in a day was really stressful.
Doing last minute revisions really cause my migraine to act up again :\
Well at least now i've learnt my lesson and i shall start revision earlier! :))

Monday was Elective Geography and Physics paper 2.
I stayed up all night just to get everything in my head.
Physics was really terrible.
Felt like i could not even understand and answer any questions AT ALL.
Geography was not as bad as i expected.
I just hope it can bring my combined humanities to a pass (I failed my Social Studies).

Tuesday was E.Math paper 1 and Biology paper 2.
Obviously i did not study for my E.Math because Biology still feels alien to me.
Biology was not that tough i must say.
Just bomb-ed every single thing i could remember. LOL.
E.Math was okay, but left 15 marks BLANK. Oh hell.

Wednesday was A.Math paper 2 and Biology paper 1.
I had tuition on Tuesday night, from 9pm to 11.30pm. OMG.
I felt that i would faint and fall off the chair anytime.
Too tired and hungry then :\
The A.Math paper was doable, just that i did not practice enough, causing me to leave blanks here and there.
I did not even revise for Biology paper 1.

Today was the last paper Physics paper 1.
It was really bad.
Not because the paper was tough, but because i was having a stomachache.
It was really painful.
Had no choice but to quickly finish the paper without looking at the questions and RUSH to the toilet T.T
So i guess physics would be a fail for this prelims?
Haiz!

Although it's end of prelims, but it's just the beginning to the BIG BIG day.
Less than 40 days left, i suppose.
I really gotta start working on it REAL soon.
Anyway, got a new table, chair and rack from IKEA :D
Finally i have like a proper place to study and keep my stuff.
Hopefully after tomorrow, my room will not be in a mess anymore :)
No school for me tomorrow because it's Chinese prelims and i am not retaking my Chinese :P

Having a really bad headache again.
I think i shall go take a nap or something.
Ending off here..

Cheryl.

*All the best to all taking O levels 2010!

Date : Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Time : 8/25/2010 04:55:00 PM
Title : I had a bad day.

Firstly, thank you for breaking my heart.
I'm glad I knew the truth earlier.
However I was sure that at that instant, my heart stopped and shattered into pieces.

Secondly, I'm sorry. 
I cannot split myself into two. 
All of you are my friends, but there is only one me.

Thirdly, please don't be so selfish. 
You need help, but we need help too. 
The teacher is already busy enough, yet you are making her repeat, repeat and REPEAT.
Can you be more considerate?

Lastly, prelims is coming and I seriously gotta study.
Today was a really really bad and sad day for me :(

Cheryl.
25.08.10 (Wednesday)

* Really tired. Still, there is tuition, tuition and more tuition.

** I will let you go.

Date : Friday, August 20, 2010
Time : 8/20/2010 09:05:00 PM
Title : many many things.

Wow wow wow!!! I realized I haven't blogged for a very very long time.. I have so much to say and I'll jot them down here briefly before I miss out anything! :)

July.
Well, July was sort of an unlucky month I must say. So many unfortunate things happened.. Firstly, a day before my birthday, Weiteng was hospitalized :\ I felt rather guilty as it was partially my fault.. If she hadn't stayed to plan the 'surprise' for my birthday, perhaps none of this would have happened.. However, on that day, I planned to visit her at the hospital.. People like Jan, Renee, Monika, Waileng, Melanie, Khiddee and Alvin tagged along as well.. Then Munting and Susanna came with a cake and gave me a surprise and celebrated my birthday early at the hospital. Unique eh? I was thankful for all that these great friends have done for me.. Had cake smashed on my face and had a hard time cleaning up.. Pictures and videos are on facebook. Hmm.. Though thankful, I was rather upset on the actual day.. (She's your GOOD friend, so you are celebrating hers on the actual day while mine's celebrated the day before) Haiz! I don't know how to say, but yeah, was really disappointed then. It's over anyway! Whatever it is, appreciated :)
Next thing that happened was that I was hit by the H1N1 virus.. It was torturing that week and took me awhile to get back on track.. It started off with prolonged cough, followed by prolonged high fever- highest was 39.4C - and then runny nose.. Somehow the virus made me feel lethargic and I kept sleeping.. Good thing was that I didn't have to go to school for a week! :D
That should be the two main things that happened in July.. So.. yeah. Let's move on to early this month!

August.
1st week- It was a rather 'slacky' week as National Day was round tr corner.. Celebrations and a long weekend. Obviously, I didn't make use of the long weekend for my revision.. Was standing up for Singapore all the way! xD National Day's songs are great :P I truly felt that I wasted much time and felt rather regretful.. I should stop procrastinating and get into serious business now!! (Big talk, no action :O)
2nd week- Back to school for a short but tiring week.. Nothing much to comment, but was rather affected by a 'pawster'.. Yeah yeah, all she does is bootlick, bootlick and still, BOOTLICK. Sometimes I wonder if there was anything else she could do other than bootlicking.. Pathetic.
3rd week (This week)- Started off with English Olevels Oral examinations.. I think I did well :P (not to be bhb) but I knew I spoke with great confidence, although I was nervous. Hope nothing goes wrong because my English teacher said that "You'll never know your oral marks for your entire life." xD
Also, there are so many friendship problems these days.. I guess it's inevitable at this stage of life.. Backstabbing, gossiping, crying and stuff. Ah, such disappointment :\ Hope everything will be resolved and everyone will be happy at the end of the day.
This morning was raining heavily.. A cold and gloomy day. I suffered from SHOCK today. I went to school with an umbrella that hasn't been touched for months. It was really dark in the morning and I couldn't see anything. I walked to the interchange as usual and I felt one or two ants falling on me. I didn't really bother as it was common for ants to be crawling about.. Thus, I proceeded to the interchange. When I arrived, I realized that many ants were crawling around me.. I felt weird and was curious where the ants came from.. Thus I looked around and little things that were moving in my umbrella caught my eye!! To my horror, I saw like tonnes of ants crawling in my umbrella! Can you imagine how many ants fell on me? Sick! I started sweeping the ants off me and my bag and boarded the bus.. I decided to leave the umbrella on the bus and I did. I felt guilty and inconsiderate after alighting from the bus.. All I can say is GOOD LUCK to the one who picks up my umbrella :X

Olevels is nearing day by day.. I'm so like not ready and I need to start working and stop delaying. How many more tomorrows are there left? :\ Since long long time ago, I have kept saying that I would start studying, but the fact is that I have not even started.
Oh yeah! Another thing I almost forgot.. I received my Chinese olevels results just two days ago.. I scored an A2 with Merit for oral. I'm satisfied, but my mother is not. She kept asking me to retake the paper again, but the thing is, I don't want to! She kept pressurizing me and I got so upset that I have ignored her for 2 days. I hope she stops and respects my decision.

Alright, I'm gonna wash up and make sure more ants are around me. Think I'm gonna buy a new pair of school shoes tomorrow too :| So I shall just end off here :)

Goodbyes. Goodnights. Takecares.

Cheryl
20.08.10 (Friday)

* Biology intensive revision was funnnn :D Jokes and my singing. Hahaha xD

** My heart melted at one moment :X I hope it stops melting before anything happens! :O

Date : Friday, June 25, 2010
Time : 6/25/2010 01:26:00 PM
Title : No Mood.

It's been awhile since i last posted. It's the last week of the June Holidays and i haven't been studying.. 3 more days and BACK TO SCHOOL. Gosh. I haven't done any of my holiday homework and this means that i'll be so dead. O levels is coming in just like a few months' time, im worried but doing nothing. Just playing games all the time. Terrible.

Well, many things happened this whole month. The first and worst thing that could happen was that my phone crashed all of a sudden, leaving me no choice but to use a vintage cheap phone with only a black and white screen. The next thing that happened was that i felt i had lost a friend again, but this time, unknowingly. Perhaps she could sense that we have drifted apart and that there was no longer any common topics between us, but im glad. All along, she has her own kind of friends and maybe i was just a substitute to her when her friends are not around. Now that she's back with her friends and clique, then i guess my job and the "friendship" we once had is done. The third thing that happened was that i met this particular person online and talked a bit. The sad thing was that he had to serve the country and we couldn't really communicate much with one another. We know how we both feel for each other, but i guess there is no time for us to know each other more. Plus, we have different personalities. Like i don really sleep alot, but he can sleep for a whole whole WHOLE day. So, the most probable thing that I can do, is to give up on something that is impossible. From previous experiences, I've learnt to give up on things i know is not possible. I hope he understands.

Im having rashes as usual again. It's really terrible scratching and scratching. The rain is here, the wind is so strong and i am so cold. I haven't had my lunch and i am thinking of what i should eat. Maybe i'll just get noodles. I really do not have any mood to do anything today. Haiz!

Wow, so quickly, i just realised that Michael Jackson has been dead for exactly a year. Many things that happened, merely felt just like it happened yesterday. Anyway, i have nothing else to post and guess i will just put a full stop to today's post here. Will update again as soon as i feel like it.

Goodbyes. Takecares.

Cheryl.
25.06.10 (Friday)

* Going back to school soon. Hate the feeling.

** I'm sorry, but if you ask, it's gonna be a no.

Date : Friday, May 28, 2010
Time : 5/28/2010 12:34:00 AM
Title : Complicated feelings :(

If I were to think of any emotions i'm facing right now, it would be: DEPRESSED.
I'm really sick and tired of life, living in a world of best friends and happy families.. To me, life is nothing. Perhaps i'm just destined to be a failure in life. Nothing just goes right on my journey. I simply dont understand why i'm so ill-fated:(

Whenever i'm alone, I always look back and think, and I reflect. Did I truly have any happy memories that I deserved? Were everyone around me true to me? Or were they just hypocrites passing by in my life? I'm living in doubt, every single day. Sometimes, it doesn't pay to be kind. I remembered clearly how I once tried to cheer someone up when she was upset, but I got pointed by a middle finger in return. That is just how unfair life is.

I'm not trying to make myself sound very noble or whatsoever. I just wanna let the people around me know that I actually did try to put in efforts to maintain those wonderful smiles on their faces.. Smiling is a blessing, everyone deserves to be blessed.

At the same time, for the past 15 years of my life, I always wonder to myself, thinking how it would feel like with a father's love, how it would feel like to be sincerely cared and treated by my family and friends. It would be heart-wrenching to feel like a piece of shit. It exists, but it is greatly avoided and no one would realise its presence and end up stepping on it. If it was ever spotted, it would just end up being flushed down the toilet or thrown into the rubbish bin. Has anyone however, looked at it from another perspective? Yes, it may be something that seems useless. In actual fact, it can be used as fertilisers for crops if a chance is given to it. It creates new life.

I once told someone that i'm a piece of shit, and one i'm one, I will always be one. It's okay, people don feel my presence, dont notice me and sometimes hurt me unknowingly. Although I seem like dont care, but it can actually mean a lot to me. People, look at me closely, look at me deep, there is a lot in me that you have yet to realise...

Am I really irritating that my mom doesnt pick up the phone calls? I just needed her to me that she is fine. It doesn't take a lot of time and trouble, does it? :\ I want and I need more care, that's all.

Haiz.. I'm really feeling ______. I cant describe my feelings now, but I know i'm not happy. Don wanna ponder so much anymore. Shall go to bed.

Goodnights. Goodbyes. Take cares.

Cheryl.

* I'm hurting alot inside, but I will try to smile and be strong :)

** To me, love and care is more than anything else!

Date : Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Time : 5/26/2010 11:59:00 PM
Title : Emotionally tired :\

Tomorrow is the last day of school for the term.. Yet I have to go back to school during the first week of June to have lessons as usual. Terrible terrible terrible.. How miserable! :\

Had chinese lesson the whole day today again.. Doesn't seem to be that bad with breaks and picnics in class xD Munched Pringles and sweets in class while having lessons. Really enjoyed the thrill! xP However, work that needed to be completed were still on.. Comprehension, cloze passage, situational writing, composition, etc. All driving me real crazy. After lesson, we had to stay back for a mock test, which was last year's Chinese Olevels Examinations. Shagged. The weather is terrible. If my perspiration couldn't be evaporated, I think it could fill up a pail! A little too exaggerated though.. 8)

Nothing much to comment about today.. Just some feelings and thoughts perhaps.. Well, I feel tired.. Not just with work, but emotionally too.. Just tired of being the one who apologises all the time, to make everything seem fine again when i'm actually feeling dead and sourish inside. Perhaps getting to know someone too well can make you feel tired.. That's why friends need to be separated for a while so that they can become close again.. It's sort of a "break" or "recess" in a friendship.. (FYI: this is in general, not refering to anyone..) Haiz. Now everyone are in different classes.. I find it harder to communicate now.. Maybe we're from different worlds. I once naively thought that we were close enough to read each others' minds, but yeah, now i'm starting to doubt our friendship.. You never let me know that you were going elsewhere with your other friends. If I didn't have extra lessons today, I would have waited stupidly for you at the foyer.. Ah, I guess this is just part and parcel of life.. Friends come and go.. Only the true ones stay :\

Getting late.. I shall end off here then.
Goodbyes. Goodnights. Take cares.

Cheryl.
26.05.10 (Wednesday)

* Don't throw me aside when you have your friends with you and stick close to me when they're not there. I'm not a substitute, I yearn for true friendship like anyone else T.T

** 5 more days. Worried *~*

Date : Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Time : 5/25/2010 11:26:00 PM
Title : Six more pathetic days..

Six more days to Chinese Olevels Examinations.. I'm starting to fret like everyone else. Everyone's panicking at the eleventh hour.. Trying to receive as much information as possible from the teachers.

Chinese intensive revision for the WHOLE day is such a killer.. Listening to the same voice, same China accent.. Gosh, sick and tired of it :\成语, 谚语, 俗语, comprehension, compositions, situational writing. Just by looking at the books and questions given, I feel so sick.

The lessons are bored to the extent whereby the boys are actually playing PSP or "hibernating" and the girls are gossiping and chitchatting. I brought sweets to class to perk us up. It is exciting to try to put the sweets into your mouth right under the teachers nose xD Well, so far not caught red-handed yet. I'm bringing Pringles to school tomorrow to try to eat in class :D

Anyway, the right side of my back hurts terribly.. I have no idea what happened. I was also late for school today and I ran 5 rounds around the parade square. The bus didn't arrive.. Could it be that the driver had a stomach ache or is it that the departure time of the bus has changed? Haiz! Poor me.. I shall sleep now and wake up earlier tomorrow to find out!

Before I end, I wanna say that my mom is not going for meet-the-parents session! She seems to be really tied down with work, so a phone call with the teacher will do. I'm not sure if the outcome will be the same as meeting the teacher, but at least I don get humiliated in public. I guess that's a good thing :)

I gotta sleep now before I oversleep tomorrow!
Goodnights. Goodbyes. Take cares.

Cheryl.
25.05.10 (Tuesday)

* We're all humans. We need to rest. I'm sure she's working as hard or even harder than us for our benefit. So please, show some basic respect coz she's our teacher.

** Afraid for this Chinese Olevels. Just wanna get it over and done with, with at least an A2!