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♥ Keryn Libby Lin. / Libby Loka / Zhuzhu
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Down (Main Version) - Jay Sean Ft. Lil Wayne

Monday, September 22, 2014

yours truly, ♥ZhuZhu

Sometimes no matter how thick the bond is set in a marriage. If two parties are constantly having frictions with one another, it's just a matter of time before the marriage falls apart. So is it better to end things there and then or to wait for things to escalate and explode?

As of now, it feels as though even though it's just been 3 weeks to marriage life, every day event has been like a roller coaster ride. At it makes me wonder if the option to get married was even a wise decision to proceed on in the first place.

A good buddy came asking me today.. "If given a choice, would you give up what you have now and go back to how things were or would you continue to stick onto the decision you've made to come this far?"

And guess what? My answer was I would give up what I have now and go back to what was then. That's how I feel about my marriage life now. It has come to a point that everyday is just a day of luck where things either go uphill or downhill. It's a 50-50.

At the end, I guess my heart don't have the confidence that the marriage will last afterall. Sadly but true. :/



; {=

11:45 PM




Tuesday, September 16, 2014

yours truly, ♥ZhuZhu




yes! Im married as you can tell. 

A year yet many events has happened. As much as I dreamed to have a fairytale wedding since young.. we dont always have what we want. Sad as it is, Im still rather sour and bothered by it. However, deep down I know there will always be regrets and sadness in my heart. Even though my wedding did not turn out as a fairytale... it wasn't even pleasant. It had turned out to be a disaster, a bride's greatest nightmare. :<

Somehow the saddest part is you cant actually let it out because how you feel eventually affects the people around you. What's more the ones that you love. 

Being someone who has barely any anger or bear any grudges, it's the first time I felt so much hatred, so much worry, fear and negativity. The fear of hating someone scares me, but yet I cant help feeling as such for I know what is like being a woman, what's more knowing a woman who is famous for being petty.

Call me evil but I am also a woman, I have my pettiness. Yet at the same I feel sad because I have to be the gracious and the one that's with a 'bigger heart'. I feel mad! I feel angry! I feel so wronged! :< 
I certainly deserve a wedding to be MINE! At least a day of happiness since everything that had happened. :<

Why did she had to ruin my wedding? It was not perfect enough as it is, yet it had to be the worst wedding ever. The only positive thing was just all destroyed by her small action. Despite telling myself it could've just been a misunderstanding.. And I wanted to believe in that.

But everything seems to point in the other direction. Having clarifications made again and again with the two girls who witnessed the incident...The conclusion still draws back to the same thing.. she had the intention of doing whatever she could to indirectly 'ruin' my wedding. And that's what irks me most.

Knowing one should not hold on to the negative memory but I cant help it as wedding is a ONCE in a LIFETIME event. And it's supposed to be blissful, happy and memorable. Yet mine was not even close. It was a wedding filled with tears, hatred and negativity. Who would ever want such a wedding in life? I feel so sad and each time I think back, my heart sinks in with sorrow and sourness. I wished... I wished... it was a little more positive. At least something beautiful to be kept in my memory. But nothing like it. Instead, I wished I didn't have any memory of it... at all. Depressing isnt it.

I guess deep down, I really wish for her wedding to be ruined. To have the most awful wedding ever as she has totally ruined mine. I have no positive memory to keep at all. It's evil and one shouldnt repay evil with evil but I'm sorry. I guess Im not a saint as I thought I was afterall...

No words can ever express my sorrow and heartache for my wedding. An event that every girl dreamed for it to be perfect, happy... and memorable. 
Yet mine was the entire opposite...




; {=

10:29 PM




Friday, May 3, 2013

yours truly, ♥ZhuZhu



It's almost been a year when everything has finally come to past. Never thought i'll be in a relationship again after being broken. But here I am, happily with my baby kangaroo. He makes me happy.. Not sure why am i so certain bout it, with him, i feel different. Someone I am not afraid to show my true self of being crayzee, bring unglam and able to share my feelings with without worrying how his mom might think of me. Having the need to be of another person's expectations is just purely... exhausting. For now, I am living in my honeymoon... And yeah. HAPPY. hahahaha. 

It's farnie how two strangers can meet on an unexpected event, became close and in a glimpse of eye, become an item, sharing their thoughts and goals together. Then again, life is never smooth sailing or a bed of roses. When we thought the wave has reached its calmness, another tidal wave is just hiding at the back, waiting to strike when our guards are down. 

Though our family has met with many setbacks along these years, im glad we have not been apart much but yet still as united as before, family of 5 has now being extended to 8 with laa laa returning and we have 4 couples in the family! Yay for that! haha! Everyday, im just looking forward to being smiley and have my personal goals achieved!

oh!! And also!!! We have a nephew coming up! Once he's born... I'll be sure to post up photos of that lil cute face that we have been awaiting for 9 months! Wahahahahah! just really excited to being an aunty!! xD

till then,
xoxo.




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2:25 PM




Wednesday, December 26, 2012

yours truly, ♥ZhuZhu

It has been half a year in a glimpse of an eye, as the usual, one thats filled with dramas throughout the way. The biggest hurdle though, was the passing of grandpa. Until now, we are still trying to handle the grieve inside us cuz we have overlooked it on ourselves whilst concentrating on grams. Its been 5 months since he passed, we still.. miss him. :(

Things are somehow different without him around, handling grams' minutes' emotions kill. Although along losing one we love, we gained another. Jiejie's pregnant and it's something that keeps us motivated and looking forward for. An occasion for joy. 



Finally, we had a photoshoot taken and it was beautifully done up. :D





With so many events that's been happening, I took a trip to australia.. thinking I could sort all my heart knots out, and at the same time, have a break from everyone's drama. To my surprise, the trip became more fruitful than expected. Though it wasnt what I had in mind (quite the opposite lol), but i did feel i learnt a lot while i was there. Being heartbroken and abandoned there, was the beginning of a new start for me. 




With that, I have decided to move on and stop weeping over issues that are already slapped right to my face. I had to stop being oblivious to what's going on! Knowing that my family was there to support me made it alot easier, but also of that, i took them for granted! :p oh well! it's only natural since im the youngest in the family. WAHAHAHAHA. :o

So anyway, i started to make new friends through a social app and came to know quite a number of nice people! :D Hoping to widen my social network and not dwell in the past anymore seems like a good idea. So the dating routine started and for now. everything seems to be going peachy. However, I've learnt to not place much hope only in the end to get hurt and burnt by my own actions. 

And then, we reached christmas. Cant say this yr's exactly a great one since it was a big family (Including the most detestable DAVID's family). Yeah, i really dislike them to the core. GAWD. i almost had the impulse to slap his wife. grrrrrr. grrrrrrr.




HAHAHA. bleah. at the end, thats pretty much the gist of what happened during this half a year when i stopped blogging. For now, i am just looking forward to my pending application to complete my semester in Frankston, Australia. Hopefully it's successful! So i'll be able to meet new, great people. :D 




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1:52 PM




Thursday, June 21, 2012

yours truly, ♥ZhuZhu

Right, so we've come to another chapter of my story. And guess what. im back to single again! Yeah. it ended. Seems sad but i guess life still goes on. Somehow or rather, i think ive cried too many times over such matter and it seems my eyes can no longer tear anymore, instead, all i can feel is jus stabbing pain in my heart. On the bright side, he and I arent on bad terms, instead it's sorta like a cool down period of us to see if others come along the way. So we are still friends.. i think.. o.o

Anyway, he's going to Australia to study so things will change.. Oh yeah. Mom's birthday and we had a small family gathering celebration. Uncle Peter brought grams and the family to eat to celebrate for mommy @ Long Beach IMM. Jeez. The bill came up to $1.2k. -_- seriously! But of cuz we had alot of good food. I felt so sinful after that. LOL. Chilli crab, pepper crab, cereal lobster, xue ge, scallops, bamboo clams, feesh, shark fin. Zzz. It's alot. And we couldnt even finished the food, ended up having to packet it back. Not forgetting to mention that Aunty Serene sponsored 5 bottles of Moscato D'ASTI (A higher grade compared to the normal moscato) and we wiped it clean! Hahaha. THE DINNER WAS SO FREAKING FULL.

And the next day brought mom for moovees and dinner @ Hippopotamus grill. It was expensive but worth it! :)














Life proceeds from here on.. i dunno how to honestly, but i do know i cant sink myself in sadness thinking he'll ever come back. Cuz even if he did, i know i cant allow myself to be hurt again, as much as I want us to be together. But..  Afraid is what it is after what happened. Anyway, Jia you zhuzhu. Im sure when school starts and job begins, plus the fitness schedule, i wont have anymore time to think of those unnecessary stuffs again. :)






; {=

1:23 AM




Tuesday, June 5, 2012

yours truly, ♥ZhuZhu

Heh. Each time the interval of me blogging again would be around 2-3 months. But hey, many things changed during this period. Firstly, im out of job. Hehehe. Secondly, my r/s is on the rock, as of now that is. But anyway, pictures! 

Second trip this yr was to Cebu, Philippines. Not to mention i was badly burnt when i came back. Even on the plane, we were scratching like monkeys. It's hilarious but yeah, farnie. XD I finally have my first experience of snorkling too! It was awesome! Seemed scary initially as you cant reach the seabed at all and it's an open ocean, but the thing is, you'll see many feeshes! Though i worried of shark appearing but eh, the guide assured there was none, so heh! Halim had an accident on the second day, thus, he was unable to do any activities, even entering the water as his wound might tear. So basically, im the only one who really did the snorkling since bunneh has water phobia and jie jie pretty much had trouble with it too. 



Then there was island hopping where we visited many small islands of Cebu. The weather is crayzee! The sun was scotching and painful! our backs were red and charred, literally!! AH! One of my favourite island is called "Virgin Island" as no one is able to live on it. When the tides are high, the island is fully submerged by the ocean and you won't be able to see it at all. Thus, tourists are only allowed to visit during certain hours of the day when the island appears to be seen. The view... simply spectacular and breath taking. The water itself has 4 layers of colours!!! Green, turquoise, blue, then navy blue! SUCH AN AMAZING VIEW, i'll never forget it. 






After which during May, i visited Taiwan. Supposingly with his family and myself, but along the way, surprises appeared and mom came with jie jie to Taiwan. Thus, we spent the trip tgt for the remaining days. 

 This is Halim's brother and his girlfriend. 
"Cheryle and Surya"


We visited many locations in Taipei itself, travelled out but the time was rather limited as travelling out of state itself could take 4 hours. We practically covered the Taipei, so yeah. The food there... IS CRAYZEE. so many varieties and you'll never get sick of it! Because there are so many selections! Though i must say, pricing is rather steep as it's almost comparable to buying street food back here in Singapore. But the taste.. definitely more awesome there! Hehe! I love the ZHA CONG BING, fried bun! It's served hot and with fillings in it! I cant find it back here in Sg at all! Which is... sad. And mom fell in love with their Taiwan Sausage becuz it's a total different taste there.





Even the Ding Tai Fung there was awesome. Portion was much bigger, and the food selection has more as well. THE ZUCCINI SIDE DISH is to die for. And the xiaolong bao.. GOSH. i almost had the whole basket to myself. Kekekeke.






Everyday we tasted different street food from the different night market, it's really with the saying of eating and shopping, eating and shopping. Hahaha! We can't stop tasting food no matter where we go!!! Though it's like those push card vendors, but that's the whole spirit of Taiwan's food isnt it!! It's so shiok lah!!! 




Every night, we will only be back in the hotel around 10pm and set off as early as 8am in the morning after breakfast! So tired! but heh, i miss the food there already. :<


As of now, im jobless and currently staying home to pack all my stuffs in place! Going through a rough patch  in terms of love life, but hey, if this is the end, i'll most prolly take a break till i really meet someone that's meant for me.. Done with heart breaks and disappointments.. im guessing.. those fairy tale stories broadcasted on television never is real in reality huh. Oh well, at least if he and parted, i know.. i gave my all and did my best in this relationship, fought hard enough to know that i shouldnt have any more regrets. If i had any, it would be to have started with him in the first place.. 

On the other hand, ah gong is in bad shape as he is diagnosed with lung tumor at his age of 90. Doc says that he has around 3-6 months to live. So now, we are trying to be there for him almost everyday in the evening. Tiring as we have been clearing the house and packing it for them for the moving in of new furniture and riding the old ones. SO EXHAUSTING. but yeah, it's for them..

till then.. Adios! <3




; {=

3:04 AM




Sunday, February 26, 2012

yours truly, ♥ZhuZhu

It's been sooooo long. first time ever for about 4 mths since i last blogged. Guess life has really gotten me packed up! Im barely sitting around on my comp anymore as well besides having the need to do work and surfing some net when needed to~

The trip to Hanoi back last year was AMAZING and MEMORABLE. As we extended a day more, we were there for about 10 days in total! It was fun and not forgetting i was dead drunk on the night of celebration for my birthday lols.

Here are some of the pictures taken when we were in Hanoi and around Vietnam. im already missin the weather there! It's cold like crayzee! ><


























Time flies and now we have passed the 3 mths curse! YAY! And somehow, we are getting to know each other more and seems to be 'more real' with each other. No longer needing to pretend who we are not.. At times we fart and ends up laughing at each other. It's quite hilarious actually. Lol. We debate, have our differences but at the end of the day, there's always a compromise.

Not to mention, ive also heard him for the first time ever, to say the three words... "I love you." it was sweet. It was quite difficult initially to force those words out of him lol. But somehow or rather, he said it anyway! HAHAHA! GIRL POWER! :p

On Christmas, he has also fulfilled one of my wish list which was a DSLR camera. E550D. The one with the flip where i can self take!! LOL!! Yay! But my wallet also burnt a big hole, buying him a Gucci wallet. D:

He has bringing me around to eat food too!!! Now i feel im putting on weight. LOL. But becuz of his healthy lifestyle, it has somehow changed my eating habits and maybe, some taste too. i no longer enjoy much sweet stuffs or drinks anymore.

Oh well. Now im looking forward to Cebu's trip at end of March. Sigh. When it comes, it also means that he'll be flying away frequently for business. :<

Till then. Adios!



; {=

11:36 PM




Monday, November 7, 2011

yours truly, ♥ZhuZhu

This bunny is simply adorable! haha! so cute!! so i jus had to post it on here..


Praying bunny!!! ahhh! *v*



This is my Baden Crew.. A few are missing but here are the mains! They are fun and farnie people!!! Sometimes we can just sit and crap for 7 hours! JUST TALKING CRAPS. lol.. We have.. Wormsee, bb, me, edna, cally,vickki, wormee, wormbee and wormgee!! Wormgee is still in holland mugging though..





Then again. its been 3 weeks! :D I can only say he's a different person from 4 yrs ago. There are many sides of him ive never seen before. He being meticulous, and sweet! Even up pops up at my place to drop me vitamin pills! However, despite that, at times, im still lost at knowing how to be a girlfriend.. or rather idk hw to be in a relationship. I am still learning though. It is scary when you have to place commitments to someone, at the same time struggling with the rest of your life.





Now.. im jus looking forward to the end of yr trip where we can spend more time with each other. And see how things go from there.. Everything is still foggy at the moment. Though im not certain if we might have an ending, but something im sure of is that he sees us as an ending. *fingers crossed* let's jus hope he's right...



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11:06 PM