JuSiaNz...

So sianz. i am now in the school lab. nothing to do, or rather don feel like doing anything. don feel going now, cos see my room will wan to faint. haiz. suddenly got a feeling to go teach tuition! no $ again. $100 overdue for my bills. owe dele $37, jia yang $5, kenny $15, si jie $6, sperm $5... haiz, forever in the credit balance.

Found another nice song, but quite 老wan...

张惠妹《趁早》曲:张宇　词:十一郎

到后来才发现爱你是一种习惯
我学会和你说一样的谎
你总是要我在你身旁
说幸福该是什么模样
你给我的天堂 其实是一片荒凉

要是我早可以和你一刀两断
我们就不必在爱里勉强
可是我真的不够勇敢
总为你忐忑为你心软
毕竟相爱一场 不要谁心里带着伤

我可以永远笑着 扮演你的配角
在你的背后自己煎熬
如果你不想要 想退出要趁早
我没有非要一起到老

我可以不问感觉 继续为爱讨好
冷眼的看着你的骄傲
若有情太难了 想别恋要趁早
就算迷恋你的拥抱 忘了就好

爱已至此怎样的说法都能成为理由
我在这样的爱情里看见的 是我们的软弱

Tired!!!

haiz, after 2 overnite mahjong sessions, damn tired.

last saturday, morning went kbox with cai and dele. nice session man. so cool. den at nite still help the choir concert, quite nice la. but tink xinmin wan nicer. den yest went out with the 2e4 ppl. kbox again (laga rich like that), dat went to eat until quite late. today skip all the lectures again haiz, no hope. den don noe la, like got lots to do now. real headache.

initially president quite cool, quite fun, but actualli realli not. real confusion now. cant stand it. den mid year coming le, don noe how la. surely die le. haiz. den a lot of assignments havent done, untouched! (some even go into promo marks). haiz, i realli going to 崩溃 soon...

我站在阳台上享受细雨的朦胧
脸湿了，一种酸涩的味道
是雨水？是泪水？
我抬头仰望天空……

Mahjong Nite...

Goodness. cant imagine updating this ting at this time. jus finish playing 3 and 1/4 of mahjong. quite cool. but unfortunately didnt win. lost 11 dollars. okie la, not much la, cos like such a long period of time. quite shiok lei, cos cant find like fast players le. den tis holidays i will realli play veri hard. in 3 hours' time, going to meet cai and dele for kbox le. den tonite still muz help out in the choir concert... haha, busy but rather fun day!

haha. nv sleep, now veri sexy voice, rather... mm, see see later kbox how lo.

MJ won!

slacker, i didnt go school today again to watch american idol. Carrie Underwood won, but this year the song for the winner not as nice as last year "I Believe" by Fantasia lei. Den don tink they both sang well, still prefer Vonzell Soloman better. confirm 100% chopped she can sing the song better.

Ya, aniwae, this is for dele. MJ won VJ Soccer!!! ya, actualli, quite like none of my business, cos i ny wan, but okie la. feel happy for u, at least all the screams and shouts are like quite worth it after all. hope u settle your prob soon! Make up ur mind pls...

By tonite, need to finish the edited version of "Colours of the Wind" for guzheng. veri lazy to do lei, no inspirations for new ideas. aniwae, this reminds me of the stupid stanley and wilson deng... so damn fed up. i don care if they will be able to see this, cos since u all had alr said nasty things in front of me le, i don care much liao. maybe jus losing a mahjong player. maybe i mite seem to be extremely slack in front of people and don care about anyting, i still don understand wat the two are unhappy about, jus cos of me becoming president. and said so many bad comments about me. and pls, stanley, can u like don blame the whole world that u didnt got into the committee. pls look at urself 1st la. CMI lo, though i may be oso CMI too. Jus angri!

going to teach tuition now, quite sianz but no choice. have been taking leave for the last week le so MUS go. =(

k k, update this tingy in a few days' time...

Feel so bad!

haiz. veri veri sad. i make spoilt my cousin cloth!!! dat day my cousin lend me cloth to wear den i think i don noe make wat la, den accidentally bleach the cloth, i tink. and the cloth is from his gf! veri sad case... don noe how to say sorrie too. feel so bad, like he lend me his most precious thing den i make spoilt, haiz! Den, i oso don noe why, 撞到my bro face... so clumsy. these few days like not 清醒, keep doing things that i shldnt do.

Realli cant get over it. hate myself being veri emotional sometimes. like will need a lot of time to get over someting... Always like 跟着感觉走… no control of anything, jus do wat i feel like doing. which is realli bad.

this is how i tink my life is like rite now... jus expressing feelings. (wrote this on bus, i tink)

莫名的伤感　无奈的狼狈
我变了…　　现在的我　
少了点快乐　多了点犹豫
少了点规律　多了点彷徨
少了点自由　多了份不自在
也许只有陶醉在音乐里
才能放下一切　忘记所有…

aniwae today got the camp, den ask us to set our goals. okie la, this year may seem veri useless to me cos i havent set wat goals i want to achieve this year.

My Goals for 2005: (though may seem quite toopid and slow to wait till now den set, haha...)

1. to be able to go j2 with a good results [A, B, C, B4] (possible?)
2. to pass Grade 8 Piano Theory
3. to be a good president (i hope i realli can)
4. to write a nice nice classical song and a chinese pop song
5. to be able to control my emotions better
6. to be richer and richer as days pass by (don tink i am money-minded, money is impt)
7. to be able to sing the song "i turn to you" well in 2 versions (one in concert pitch, one in a lower octave)
8. to have more freedom in many ways
9. to be happy everyday (impossible, i tink about too many sad tings)
10. to make this world filled with endless love (100% chopped impossible cos ppl now are realistic)

Aniwae, from audrey and michelyn, heard that stanley say me veri lan or someting!!! so fed up. i havent like do anyting or start work den he start to say things le. 人不可冒相, to tink he is such a person! toopid! ~_~''' Angri!

now i am like veri 闷 cos i bon the camp and now sitting comfortably in the com lab typing this. slacker, cant stand it! haiz. no hope again.

jus hope that this week will be a pleasant week. (last week was quite a ok wan, i tink).

若能倒回时间，就不会犯错吗？
我讨厌犯错，因为即使得到别人的原谅，自己却原谅不了自己……

the hp story...

Well done... cant believe wat happen to my phone. i was so damn angry that my phone got spoilt and i regretted that i drop it like a few hundred times. i even told myself to be thankful that my phone was able to last for 1 and a half year... Den jus now, b4 coming to my cousin house, i wear a short, wid one pocket like got a hole. i put my hp and it dropped again... suddenly, i realise that i should check whether it recovered from its "sickness", and surprisingly, it was back to normal!!!! goodness. cant believe it.

Aniwae, i jus realise how dependent i am on the hp. it is like all my msg i couldnt reply and even like when someone calling, my phone jus cant answer cos like all the keypads like jus numb lo. haiz... now i should be thankful that it is back to normal.

Trying to learn this cool song, real nice!!!

Christina Aguilera "I Turn To You"

When I'm lost in the rain
In your eyes I know I'll find the light to light my way
When I'm scared, losing ground
when my world is going crazy
you can turn it all around, yeah
And when I'm down you're there pushing me to the top
You're always there givin' me all you've got

For a shield from the storm
for a friend for a love to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong
for the will to carry on
for everything you do
for everything that's true
I turn to you

When I lose the will to win
I just reach for you and I can reach the sky again
I can do anything
cuz your love is so amazing
cuz your love inspires me
And when I need a friend you're always on my side
givin' me faith to get me through the night

For the arms to be my shelter through all the rain
For truth that will never change
For someone to lean on
For a heart I can rely on through anything
For t he one who I can run to (so do you)

For a shield from the storm
for a friend for a love to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you
For the strength to be strong
for the will to carry on
for everything you do
for everything that's true
I turn to you...

Miracles do happen...

hey, mm... after days of depression and moody moods, finally i feel motivated and better. i got back chinese 70.5/100 (an A!!! surprisingly) and gp 26.5/50 (this is surprising too). Veri veri proud of my gp, cos my english realli kns, den still can pass, so not bad le la. haha...

When You Believe

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill...

Tis is realli how i feel. yest jus got the news that realli shocked me: i got the president post of guzheng! Quite happy but realli like quite a big responsibility... muz realli be more serious a little. tink the seniors oso tink a veri long time upon choosing me. realli will feel veri bad to disappoint them. and oso, veri sad for michelyn too. she like put in a lot of efforts too, but jus didnt manage to get into the committee... quite mixed feelings.

didnt go school today cos got realli veri bad flu. as a president, like still havent ready yet. much things need to be done now, trying my best to get everything done in a perfect and 100% way! hope my sickness will be all right soon. actualli quite bad, didnt go school still go kbox wid zhen cong they all, but quite fun, so nvm after all. haha... may luck be wid me all times!!!

累了…

童年虽然美丽精彩，但忘记的却比记得的还多……

somehow, i feel things for me are always too complicated, hard for me to accept. today is another long day, i hate to go home late, to teach tuition, but i hate to go home early too...

家家有本难念的经, i feel so tired and sick of things that are happening around me and in my family, though i may always tink that i got the ability to cope with many things at once, in fact i don... i am like forced to do lots of things that i usually don do and i jus hate to like enter into the adult world at this age, which is 无情的，现实的，残酷的…

since last year, after entering to jc life, i noe that this will be terrible for me, i hate this lifestyle but realli i had no other choices, poly is too eX for me... i skip the 1st 3 months and i tink i wasted too much time, enjoying and spending money... i noe that 我在逃避现实, cant accept the fact to live in this manner, and the reason that i skip 1st 3 months is to like 松口气 b4 the real start of things... now, though i didnt regret skipping the 1st 3 months, i am like 在跟时间赛跑, and i realli lack motivation to work hard, as there are realli too much things to be attended to... i feel restricted, exhausted, and realli wan to give up... things are happening so fast that it is like alr half a year gone... wat have i achieve? Nothing.

common tests are over, obviously, without completing much work and tutorials, of cos didnt expect much. got back phy, 14/40, and chinese 16/30. though not good results, but somehow give me some 安慰, cos i expected myself to do much terrible than this. the only thing that i realli hope is to clear my promo, to get to j2 1st...

孙燕姿《逃亡》

踩著月光　　打开车窗　
离开这城市　想找个解放
一路开往　　最高那一座山　
孤单的想像　寂寞的逃亡

last time didnt realli understand this song at all, cos wat i see in the past is jus a small part of the world, the nicer and better part of the world. now, finally get wat a little this song means le... realli feel like leaving this world to take a break.

努力的终点在哪里？我累了，连呼吸都慢了… 我想逃。

My 1sT PoSt!

hey, haha. tink this is quite fun. Quite proud of myself... finally, ya, cos i don msn, den i oso don like to be like too "attached" to the computer la, so it is somehow so surprising for me to have a blog la.. COOL!!! =)

And Thanx dele for helping me edit my PI, cos it is realli veri good... It is like realli good standard.

Aniwae, veri like 接错线 these few days... like a lot of things are bothering me. Tink until my brain wan to like 爆炸 le.Jus don noe why... it is like my dreams seem so like real, while the real things that are happening seem so dreamy too. i mix up the two world on last saturday, which is like.... i don noe la, jus feeling like giving up on everyting...

只希望这只是一场梦，当我睡醒时，一切能从头开始。

My Picz.

Went to kbox dat day. brought all our puppies out. quite dotz, everyone look extreme weird in this photo.








Tink this looks better.

Puppy Power! =)










Our Prom nite pic: somewhere in the hotel la.






Ya, tot the stairs was nice.









Still in the hotel.
-_-"