Maybe I'm used to being abused so the thing is, don't treat me too nice and I won't bite.

I haven't been here for months? But I guess if I'm stalked enough by you, mystery readers...you'd know I've changed to blogging from ____.tumblr.com for summer time.

I still miss here though. It's like my top closet drawer, locked with stuffs I chuck in every now and then, before I rummage through them once in a few months so I can reminisce and ruminate.

Is it true that once denial and anger subside, you'll start to feel lose and pain? I'm grateful to him for letting me feel. It's rare that a person could step into my life and be able to let me feel waves of emotions, regardless of how pleasant or unpleasant they are. I guess I'm this adrenaline junkie in matters of the heart who has unfortunately overlooked the warning signs this time.

It's amazing what some of your (or so you think) closest friends can hide from you sometimes.

I'm all embracing of whatever you have to tell me but I certainly don't appreciate being kept in the dark. Or dishonesty.

It makes me start doubting the very foundation of our friendship.

I've a feeling that there're some secret lurkers reading this blog but I like to believe blogger's giving me the wrong statistics and I'm the only soul who knows of this blog's existence! Am I right? Talk about the 'invisible audience' I learnt from social psych of new media. Quite scary.

So, after a week of tortuous waiting and cravings, the 21yrs1day old girl I finally treated KK to Dim Sum at this place called Royal China @ Raffles Hotel. It's a rather contemporary looking restaurant with Tiffany blue walls and spiffy white chairs that has its origins from London. We had 9 dishes in total with most of them containing prawns ( my fav dimsum filling :) ). They were gooooood considering the price and location. It's like a hidden find I'd like to return!

Too bad I don't have my sony nex cam yet for pictures.

Want It So Badly Please.


P.S- Oh anyway I had a mini surprise from Jiayen, Fio, and Jerm yesterday night who patiently waited below my house with a cake, lighted candles and a giant stuffed rose for me! Consider myself blessed to have such wonderful buddies that make me feel loved at times ;) ;)

The fuck is up with blogger and its new interface?

Its my 21st. *forced (:

Kind of wished for the guy to call but I know I should keep all expectations I have at bay. Afterall, he's  supposed to do what he feels like and to be himself. If he doesn't find the need to, then don't.

I guess I can feel slightly upset but I'll never tell him. Because I'm not suppose to hold expectations of him.

Something I can't figure out. How the fuck do I know what I can wish for and look forward to, and what I can not?

Is it fair?

I guess his point is that I can have some expectations of him but not too much so that it forces him to do some things out of his comfort zone.

Whatever happened to give and takes?

I do not believe in entirely changing oneself to please the other but there have to be that necessary compromises and self-sacrifices of time, effort, and even a bit of comfort to mould yourself to better fit the other.

He said that's something that he doesn't have the energy nor motivation to invest in.

If he's not ready to step out of his comfort zone and even try to bridge whatever there is to bridge and just wants to 'enjoy the moment'..

I say get the fucking hell out of my life before I fall even harder.

I really hate to be like this.

I don't have to.