too shag to post today. was just back from camp a couple hours ago. apparentyl, sleeping only <2 hours in a camp is a really bad idea.

but there'll be a whole lot of things to talk about in the next post, which will probably come soon. boy do i have to get those things off my chest. can't thank blogger enough for being such a useful "punching bag".

stay tuned.

yay talking to those whom you haven't talked to in awhile brings a really great feeling. and its even nicer when you realise that some of them are nicer to talk to than you previously thought! i guess people do change, even if slightly.

watched avatar today with my fellow unit CIs + a stray (I MEAN, just a super-desperate-to-watch-avatar) yeoon. haha i must have made him sound like an animal XD
the movie wasn't 3d sadly, but BOY IT WAS GOOD. i don't know why, perhaps its because i have not watched a movie in the cinema for quite awhile already, or maybe the movie is just really good. the action really packs a punch and the storyplot...while not soo original i feel, was at least decent! ok what i'm really saying to you is, WATCH IT. reviews all support it and so do i. there's no hesitation needed for you yes? =D

pre-camp instructor briefing today seemed to take a little too long for what it was worth. granted, it did get me thinking more about concrete things to do for the activities and even certain contingencies in the event of excessive spare time. everything has an upside and a downside isn't it?

chingay cip today (oh dear this is becoming a "dear diary today i did XXX and XXX" kind of post gah!) was...a little frustrating, in the sense that the organisation was to me kind of haphazard. nothing against the organisers though, but i just can't stand a lack of order and time being wasted so much.

tomorrow's camp! finally. 3 weeks of planning will begin to bear fruit (or not?!) over the next 2 days. i'm really hoping this will turn out as an eventual success. it's one of the last few things we can properly put into place for the sec 3s. plus, dinner + sherlock holmes movie outing + talkcrap session after the camp! wonderful way to end the 2 days.

just yesterday i realised that i've yet to do a post summing up the entire year's experience! i think a retrospective post is in order soon =) after i'm back from the camp ok! that'll be like the post of the year or something.

and now, allow me to get a (not-so-well-deserved-but-heck-that) break in preparation for camp!

huff puff.

h3 chem is way tough.
just when i found that my h2 foundation was more than just a little shaky. it's not the best confidence booster around sadly.

progress looks bad though. chemistry i'm not halfway done, econs has always been bad, and math and physics are untouched since promos ended. it's just bad.
oops, did i just forget GP? i'm still for the idea that it's at least somewhat muggable.

but on another note, it's something to be proud of, having at long last completed the camp proposal! hm weird i think i mentioned this already in my last post. short term memory loss sucks rarh. have to suddenly get myself to school tomorrow to get a HUGE printing job done for the camp. i really hope the printing shop lady doesn't walk out on me tomorrow..i'd bang my head on the wall if she isn't there or can't help me for some reason.
did i mention i HATE saigang? especially when it springs up on you last minute.
but then again, everyone does.

hmm really hope that i can make it for mr koh's housewarming. it has to fall on the same day as the camp argh! if it starts in the late morning or something i'd definitely go. even if that means rushing/cabbing to the camp later on. don't want to miss it for anything (except my camp...sigh).

and i've still got a really long (personal) reading list to complete! the psychology of time, the five people you meet in heaven, for one more day, the list goes on...it doesn't seem all that possible to finish them all within the short span of the remainder of this holiday. carrying it over into the school term does seem like the only viable solution.

i should start using on myself some of those pep talk material that i've seen in many of the books read recently. reading without learning is kinda pointless isn't it? yea come on jun xiang you can do it. believing does make a difference, mind you. that's one thing i picked up from all the reading...

2.12am now, hmm. i'm officially a pseudo-owl yay.
alright, time to get some sleep for tomorrow's saigang...

---

說謊
主唱：林宥嘉


歌詞

是有過幾個不錯對象
說起來并不寂寞孤單
可能我浪盪　讓人家不安
才會結果都健忘
我沒有什麼陰影魔掌　你千萬不要放在心上
我又不脆弱　何況那算什麼傷
反正愛情不就都這樣

我沒有說謊　我何必說謊
你懂我的　我對你從來就不會假裝
我哪有說謊　請別以為你有多難忘
消失　真的不是我逞強

我好久沒來這間餐廳　沒想到已經換了裝潢
角落那窗口　聞得到玫瑰花香　被你一說是有些影響
　

我沒有說謊　我何必說謊
你知道的　我缺點之一就是很健忘
我哪有說謊　是很感謝今晚的相伴
但我竟然有些不習慣

我沒有說謊　我何必說謊
愛一個人沒愛到難道就會怎麼樣
別說我說謊　人生已經如此的艱難
有些事情就不要拆穿
我沒有說謊　是愛情說謊
它帶你來　騙我說　可我　沒有可能有希望
我沒有說謊　祝你做個幸福的新娘
我的心事請你全遺忘

It's 2am but i'm not bothered by the time. Have got quite a few things to get off my chest, so!

really proud to announce that i just completed my part of the information pack for my upcoming np camp. 30 pages, take that! those countless nights sure made this possible. i remember about 2 weeks ago i was so unwilling to start because it seemed such a daunting task. but quoting the most recent book i finished reading: "when you start to do something, the universe conspires to make it happen". how true indeed.
but things are far from finished. information pack still needs proper organising plus editing of the other half which shu de has done. plus activity proposals aren't touched yet! have got 2 days to get them in order, let's go.

on last count, i realised i've got myself 20plus new books this year alone. yeah you're not reading wrongly. it's 20. for the past 4 years i doubt i've actually read 10 books total (this excludes those made compulsory from school of course, those shouldn't be counted). it's intriguing that i've picked up this habit of reading (only certain books though but that's all fine and dandy), and i don't mind going on like this forever as long as time and space in my house permits me to.
speaking of which, don't we always seem like we don't have time to do all the things we want/need to do. but in the end it's just about our own time management and prioritisation. how funny.

i think i may have a penchant for this thing called "improvement". half of my new books are related to self-improvement, and even for my notes mentioned earlier i'm always thinking of how to improve it, make it better, even if it's just adding in an extra clause or two. and recently i've got on to helping others improve their ccas too! hahaha i've not imagined myself doing this before. if anything it definitely is refreshing and satisfying. i wonder if this makes me suitable to become some leadership training programme consultant in the future hmm. tough job though.

today marks the day that i finally gave out my gifts of appreciation and cards (to word it nicely haha) to my pw group. i must say i did not expect some of their replies (or even some of them to reply at all), but now let me say that i appreciate their sincere replies so, so much, and given the chance i'll turn back time and still do this all over again. for me, friendship and appreciation surpass all monetary or material things any day. so those of you out there now know what you ought to get me for my birthday right? haha.

i have these pages in my notepad from CIBTC that detail the many many meaningful sentences that i've collected from the various books that i've read. i think i'll make the effort to look through them every night before i sleep, so that i'll always be reminded of what to look forward to and what gives meaning to life.

have got lots of things to attend to (not all tonight though), including sending a final email of thanks to my pw group, understand my chem h3 lecture notes, catching up on ALL my subjects (which is going to take one heck of a time), doing up my camp proposal in time, reading my unread new books (there are so many of them), the list goes on. oh and then lastly getting myself some time for leisure and relaxation. i'm quite glad that i'll be staying home for the next few days, i don't know how i can cope with so many things on my hands otherwise.

that's about enough for one post so till next time.

this song is just so good. the lyrics will speak for themselves. simple post yea i know. but simplicity works sometimes =)

---

刘力扬 - 眼泪笑了
作詞：蓝小邪&严云农
作曲：郑楠


心碎成了沙漠 就快开凿绿洲
我没有时间不知所措
你温柔的双手 本就不属于我
又何必在乎它以后属于谁呢

谢谢你曾让我难过
谢谢我没有想太多
当爱情左盼右顾的时候

我眼泪都笑了 谁还想哭呢
再勇敢的站着 找回光和热
面对你的时候 我不会舍不得
因为你已是过客 因为路有些曲折 是美的

我眼泪都笑了 谁还会哭呢
来不及完美的 就唱首骊歌
想起你的时候 我不是卑微的
反而我没有遗憾 因为我已爱过你 深深的

life's been good.

another camp's coming up end of this month. though it's going to take up alot of time planning on my end, i'm positively sure that it will come to bear fruit in time to come. even if it doesn't, the sense of duty and commitment will still propel me to do it anyway, and there'll be no regrets whatsoever of having embarked on this idea, be it now, or in future.

past 2 days were YAH cip birthday bash and class chalet. both were extremely fun, couldn't have asked for alot more.

YAH taught me abit more about street advocacy, its difficulties and how to best go about doing it. fruitful, to summarise. celebrations afterward was a blast, what with beatboxing, breakdancing, singers and of course free buffer dinner XD OH and they taught us the nobody (as in wonder girls) dance! haha only the chorus bit lah, but still it was quite an experience. can i also add that their YAH shirt is actually very nice! plus got goody bag hehe i sound so materialistic now oops. made a couple new friends too, totally awesome. even getting lost on my way out of republic poly at the end of the day contributed to the memorable day, haha seriously.

as i type this, it's been 2 hours plus since i left class chalet. though it was messy at first, what with miscommunications about check-in time and all, it was overall still an extremely enjoyable day. i learnt texas/poker =D oh and we went KBOX haha yeahhh. it helps when you have a class that can go quite crazy/hyper at the right times haha. birthday celebrations for the december babies was also quite interesting in the way we did it.

it's funny to say this, but everytime after i come home after such events my mind always feels as if it's out of place. almost like it's still stuck at the place that i left from, and it takes quite awhile to get that feeling off of you. how interesting eh.

but the fun in life doesn't stop there. gym and (starting tomorrow) swimming sessions with my siblings will be a refreshing respite from the boring day to day chores and repetitive actions we've become so used to. and there is so much to know about leadership, be it online or through books that i am truly convinced that my journey in this aspect is really still in its baby steps. but the mere realisation of that somehow makes the prospect of the journey all the more worthwhile.

excellent, life is. and here's a song to end it off, one of my newfound favourites ;)


---

Can You Feel The Love Tonight

Music: Elton John
Lyrics: Tim Rice

There's a calm surrender to the rush of day
When the heat of the rolling world can be turned away
An enchanted moment, and it sees me through
It's enough for this restless warrior just to be with you

And can you feel the love tonight
It is where we are
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer
That we got this far
And can you feel the love tonight
How it's laid to rest
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds
Believe the very best

There's a time for everyone if they only learn
That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn
There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors
When the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours

watchword of the day.

love is not an easy thing to understand, let alone apply.

but despite whatever that may have happened, it was a worthwhile experience.

and well, it's over, so that's that.

life goes on, come what may. i'm sure there are other things planned for me, and they've got to be tended to.

but dear fairy tale, hope you won't be forgotten for the rest of eternity.


npcc unit annual camp was really quite fun. getting to know the sec3s, and especially the most awesome campfire in my past 5 years was the highlight of the 3 days. photos are on facebook for those who are interested to know more..or simply just ask me.

and, today i made a promise to myself, to change RINPCC for the better. to constantly remind myself of this duty that i have decided to take up, i even put it on my handphone wallpaper, so that everytime i flip it open i'll see it. i know it looks totally retarded to others, but as long as it works i'll do it. there's hope for the unit, i'm sure of it. success is born out of conviction, and i'll make that happen, somehow or other.

i'm liking motivational and self-help books more and more now. they are just so useful. i think enough is said, those who know and appreciate their value don't need to read what i have to say, and those who won't ever know what they're missing won't know even if i said it.


---

《表达爱》
　　演唱：林俊杰、廖晶
　　词 林怡凤+许环良+林蔚利
　　曲 林俊杰
　　制作人 吴剑泓+陈炯顺
　　配唱制作　林子钦+许环良
　　（海蝶出品）
　　（男） 我们擦身而过
　　 风卷起了沉睡的什么
　　 情绪在怂恿 撑开了懵懂
　　 有一种冲动yeah
　　（女） 决定不沉默
　　 毕竟有感觉的人不多
　　 我不想就此错过
　　（男） 眼睁睁看爱 （女）就这样过吗
　　（男） 至少我和你 （女）可以说说话
　　（合） 证明刚刚发生过什么
　　用表白 换一份期待
　　能不能就少一点忐忑无奈
　　心还 绕着你徘徊
　　难道 真是爱
　　泪水流过 才明白
　　爱不爱 原来心里早已存在
　　幸福 不在千里外
　　让我勇敢 表达爱

（男） 眼睁睁看爱 （女）就这样过吗
　　（男） 至少我和你 （女）可以说说话
　　（合） 证明刚刚发生过什么
　　用表白 换一份期待
　　能不能就少一点忐忑无奈
　　心还 绕着你徘徊
　　难道 真是爱
　　泪水流过 才明白
　　爱不爱 原来心里早已存在
　　幸福 不在千里外
　　让我勇敢 表达爱

　 用表白 换一份期待
　　能不能就少一点忐忑无奈
　　心还 绕着你徘徊
　　难道 真是爱
　　泪水流过 才明白
　　爱不爱 原来心里早已存在
　　幸福 不在千里外
　　让我勇敢 表达爱