I just wanna escape into my own land for the next 2 day...

I don't know how to explain things to my relatives if they ask.. i just wanna escape...
Maybe if u r around, i wun feel so scared.... but now i m in all these alone...

To you, u might just think that its childish of me.... and simply can't understand why i cannot face it... i don't what else to say but to tell u that its really hard to face it alone....

Its so hard that i m trying to think of ways to escape ....

Ding, have it ever really appear to you that i really need u at times... and the reason why i didn't tell u how i feel when i sad is bcuz i have the impression that you'l say its silly and its like a 'no issue' kind of thing to you .... do u ever really place urself in my shoes...and look at things from my angle?
or am i over demanding..........

Its 2009 now.

I'm posting again.....

Not sure it its a gd or bad start.... tomorrow is the CNY eve... it's a little different this time round... everything changed.... the places i visit.. i wonder if anyone will ask me abt him.. and, i'm actually thinking of how to say it out...

will things be easier if you r beside me? to go through with me? i don't think so... think it'll just be akward as well.... I just wanna hide my face... didn't wanna go to any CNY Visit at all... just wanna avoid... and stay home to rest or whatever.

Whenever i think abt the change, think abt the people i have to face... I'm totally sian.

I really dislike the feeling i had while at your house . I thought it'll be fine but i don't think so.. i was at the verge of crying when she ignored me...but i know i can't cuz its stupid and its unnecessary , but i really felt like crying. maybe i am childish.. maybe i'm just sensitive.. but the kind of treatment i got... i really feel very unwelcome. I never feel this b4... especially from someone i know... its just 'new' to me..

I am just hoping i'm able to go through this CNY....