I just wanna escape into my own land for the next 2 day...

I don't know how to explain things to my relatives if they ask.. i just wanna escape...
Maybe if u r around, i wun feel so scared.... but now i m in all these alone...

To you, u might just think that its childish of me.... and simply can't understand why i cannot face it... i don't what else to say but to tell u that its really hard to face it alone....

Its so hard that i m trying to think of ways to escape ....

Ding, have it ever really appear to you that i really need u at times... and the reason why i didn't tell u how i feel when i sad is bcuz i have the impression that you'l say its silly and its like a 'no issue' kind of thing to you .... do u ever really place urself in my shoes...and look at things from my angle?
or am i over demanding..........

Its 2009 now.

I'm posting again.....

Not sure it its a gd or bad start.... tomorrow is the CNY eve... it's a little different this time round... everything changed.... the places i visit.. i wonder if anyone will ask me abt him.. and, i'm actually thinking of how to say it out...

will things be easier if you r beside me? to go through with me? i don't think so... think it'll just be akward as well.... I just wanna hide my face... didn't wanna go to any CNY Visit at all... just wanna avoid... and stay home to rest or whatever.

Whenever i think abt the change, think abt the people i have to face... I'm totally sian.

I really dislike the feeling i had while at your house . I thought it'll be fine but i don't think so.. i was at the verge of crying when she ignored me...but i know i can't cuz its stupid and its unnecessary , but i really felt like crying. maybe i am childish.. maybe i'm just sensitive.. but the kind of treatment i got... i really feel very unwelcome. I never feel this b4... especially from someone i know... its just 'new' to me..

I am just hoping i'm able to go through this CNY....

MUHAHAHAH....

SO apologise...with a CAKE!! From velentino!! hahaa..so my hatred and anger melts away ... hehe...

can't wait to eat the cake.. but i at office.. =(

lalala... my 'don't be angry' cake ..yummy.. haha...

I was in a dilemma of 'to buy' or 'not to buy' a new HP... Dad gave me $300 to buy a new hp as he know that my hp isn't working well.. I am also keen to get one.. but after going through the tedious process of selecting the handphone (with precious advise from Shennie), i decided not to buy. I am tired of making decision. So i returned the $300 to my dad and told him i will wait.

The fact is, i feel so broke. I am in fact, very broke in my financial terms, yet, I change hp? it doesn't make any sense. So i decided to clear off my debts first before owning one hp.

Started my tutorial class today.. FMGT wasn't gd. I was lost actually.. i mean, i am SLOW. But tutor is fast and kept on giving me eye contact so i need to pretend n nod my head....
Feel so lonely.. i am missing the 'big group' enthusiastic.. the 'chit chatty-ness' of my friends.
Project group with my new friends.... they look cool.. but I hope to get over and done with it asap...as its FMGT project...

I feel that i've got no one to talk to..not even my bf. He only got ' games, sleep, eat, QQ ' in his world. I am really tired of arguing and getting angry with him. "hopeless' opps in my head when he always don't listen to me.. ask me to repeat what i've JUST SAID. I repeat: JUST SAID. ALL because he wasn't paying attention listening to me on the phone...Whats the purpose of talking on the phone then? I really don't understand. ..

I had enough. U WEREN'T LISTENING TO ME ALWAYS!
YOU FORGET THE THINGS I TELL YOU A MINUTE AGO!
YOU ARE ALWAYS IN YOUR OWN LALA LAND. I HATE YOU!!!!!

YOU ALWAYS SAY 'SORRY' BUT DO YOU KNOW THAT IT DOESN'T HELP?
I AM REEEEEEEEEEALLLLLLLY TIREEEEEEEEDDDDDDD OF TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE N REPEATING TO YOU WHAT I'VE SAID. THE MOST FRUSTRATING MATTER IS THAT YOU'VE AWALYS LIKE TO APOLOGISE BUT, WITHOUT MY FORGIVENESS, YOU KEPT QUIET AND CONTINUE TO BE IN YOUR LALA LAND UNTIL I SAY I WANNA HANG UP THE PHONE AND YOU SAID OK! I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO APOLOGISE?!!

Michael Buble - Everything

song that I'm in love with!

ytd So bought Secret Soundtrack for me! so happy.. all the songs all very nice.. if only i can play piano.. haiz..
the melody "路小雨" makes me remember how fortunate it is for me to have someone who I love and love me by my side... whereas she wasn't as fortunate as me... and "腳踏車"gives me a feeling of sweet love.. when love is still at the 甜蜜階段.. i missed those days with SO... I love listening to the whole album from right beginning to the end.. so many images in my head.. and I just love the flow of those thoughts... During the 1st time when i listen the CD at his place, alot of thoughts of me n him appeared and images of us were there, seems like just yesterday.... i missed those days.. do you? do you feel the same? I don't think so.. cuz u seems not to have any expression when i play the CD... i was enjoying through the music but i am not sure if you did... I only know u enjoyed when it was the last song.. 不能說的秘密.. ya.. u sang along with Jay.. i was kinda -_- cuz it seems like u responded to only that song. Well, nvm.... just hope that one day, we will listen to the same kind of songs and have same fantasy or images flowing through our mind together..

its so difficult to plan a party with the following factors:
- communication break down with my mum.
- more relatives and mum's friends then my friends wil be turning up.
- difficult to invite my friends there, seems like all of them have their own life and things to do... kinda dissapointed actually.

All my party decorations n fun items are purchased. just went to ntuc to buy beer, red wine, hotdogs and some stuff for the bbq.

ALot of my ideas of the bbq were rejected by my mum. watever i says is a NO. and watever my relatives say is a YES. watever i planned for her is always not the way she wanted. totally a communication breakdown!!