A Glorious Birth

In the beginning...

Birth stories don't really begin when Mom goes into labor, and I don't want to forget any of the details, so I'm starting at the beginning. We had been living in Merida, Mexico and had run into some issues with our landlord and the housing situation that just weren't working for us. After considering what to do for a few months, D and I decided that it would be best for me to return to the States with the kids. He would try to find another housing option for the whole family in Merida, and we would no longer be obligated to remain under contract at the place we'd been renting. That decision felt good, and we knew it was the right one because things went very smoothly for us to make our exit.

Made in Mexico:

After about a week back in the States (enough time for me to get everything unpacked), I fell ill. I had a little cold, I thought. But as the sniffles started to clear up, I noticed that I was having constant nausea, extreme fatigue, debilitating headaches, and terrible reflux. I had to stop running, doing errands, even leaving the house because I physically could not get off the couch. Most of my days involved me stumbling from my bed to the couch, and then directing my little crew, ages 8, 6, 4, and 2. They were as helpful and patient as little ones can be. I suspected that I was pregnant (but couldn't even get to the store to buy a test!), but I kept quiet about it for a few reasons--D was about to have a very delicate conversation with his boss and I didn't want his worry about me to come out during that conversation. Also, I was really grateful to be pregnant despite feeling miserable, and I didn't want to talk about it until I felt well enough to smile as I told people, "I'm pregnant!" The gift of being able to carry and birth a baby is a blessing that isn't granted to everyone, and I don't ever want to come across as ungrateful for it.


Sick as a dog: 

After D's conversation with his boss, I shared the news with him and also told him how sick I was. He scheduled a trip to come help me for a few days in May--this was a boon to me. He picked up the pieces that I had dropped, and we fretted about how I'd be able to survive until we could be together as a family again. He wasn't kidding when he said, "You're like an invalid!" It was no longer an option for me to return to Merida with the kids--there was no way I could tolerate a day traveling, much less the extreme heat once we arrived. D's contract wasn't up until the end of August--I didn't know if I'd be able to hang on for that long.

D made me tell a few local friends about my situation, and they became angels sent from a loving Heavenly Father who came to my rescue in my time of need. They brought us food, took care of my little people, and offered rides and other assistance. Every now and then I'd have a few good hours, which is when I'd venture out with everyone to get the basics like milk and bread.

D had another call scheduled with his boss--we didn't know what the outcome would be, but we were hoping he might be able to return from Merida early, perhaps work for the university here, and at least he could be around to help me in the evenings and on weekends. I remember waiting for his phone call after he spoke to his boss--and then he told me he'd been granted permission to return to the States in mid-June. I cried. I was so grateful we could be together again. D's boss was so benevolent and told him to do what was best for his family--he could continue to work for the university (an hour away) or pursue other options closer to home.

A bonus fetus?:

After D's return, I continued to convalesce for another month. I missed my high school reunion that I'd planned on attending for ten years. I was certain I couldn't manage to make it through a plane ride, I mean, I still wasn't getting off the couch! It was also D's birthday weekend. So sad! In previous pregnancies, I'd experienced about 12 weeks of moderate nausea, during which I was still able to do a half-marathon or other shorter races, bike to and from work, do an olympic distance triathlon, and/or go on daily runs with my kids in a jogging stroller. But this was different from any other pregnancy.  "It must be twins," I thought. I wasn't physically able to drag myself to a prenatal appointment until I was about 13-14 weeks along, and during the initial visit with my midwife, she said, "This sounds like it might be twins. I'm going to take a peek and make sure." And she did a quick ultrasound. Just one baby! I was surprised, and my nausea didn't improve until I was over 16 weeks pregnant. "Maybe she just didn't see the other baby," I thought.

Resurrection:

I was getting really antsy to start feeling better, and then one day in mid-July, I suddenly felt like I could get off the couch. This was good, because we had tentatively planned a trip to St. Louis to visit my dad and his childhood digs. We had a wonderful time, and I was really glad to be out and about.  Months of not getting out and seeing people made me feel like I was withering up and dying! As we were driving back to Michigan, I realized that we had a few days before D would be starting a new job, and this was our chance to visit Michigan's famed Upper Peninsula. We unpacked and repacked and headed out the next day.

I felt revived after those two trips and was excited to get ready for a cross-country trek to see our families in Utah the next week. Physically I felt better, but I was also pretty weak after three months of being bedridden. The nausea and reflux seemed to have resolved, and the headaches were improving. We first told our kids the happy news and then shared with everyone else that we were having a Christmas baby. I started having some carpal tunnel issues just in time for our trip to Utah. This happened in previous pregnancies but usually improved after sleeping with a wrist brace. Well, the wrist brace didn't help this time. We tried a variety of things but nothing worked and the pain worsened and eventually my hands became numb all the time.


"As a man thinks, so is he:"
At this point in pregnancy, I was feeling very discouraged. As a HypnoBirthing childbirth educator, I teach classes to expectant couples about pregnancy and birth. I teach parents how to anticipate a joyful birth, and of course, part of that is having a healthy and positive pregnancy. Every time I had a thought about this pregnancy, all I could think was, "This has been a rough pregnancy," or "I've been so unhealthy," or "It's one thing after another!" or, "I can't do anything!" These are not good thoughts for someone hoping for a positive birth. Our kind of birth requires both mental and physical preparation. I needed to have only positive thoughts about my body, my pregnancy, and birth. I also needed to prepare physically by practicing breathing techniques and exercising in order to feel physically strong. And D and I needed to work on hypnosis.

I really had some mental work to do to turn things around before my baby came. I have seen people get caught in a cycle of negative thoughts, and they almost always have a negative experience. So I started running again. Not fast, not far, but I went out a few times a week. I focused on positive things--the beauty of nature, the fresh air, my body's ability to run, the fact that I wasn't bedridden! I tried to catch those negative thoughts that would creep in and change them into something positive. I repeated certain affirmations to myself over and over: "I am becoming more healthy,"  "My body is becoming stronger,"  "I am preparing for a smooth and positive birth," and "I feel great!" I've done the affirmations during every pregnancy, but they were especially important this time. D also started guiding me through hypnotic sessions where he would take me to my favorite beach from my childhood. This is my place of peace and power, where I have been mentally during each of our previous births.

I began to feel better about things (mainly because my attitude was better). I was still experiencing everything under the sun with this pregnancy, and I really had to work to block out the negative thoughts. Meanwhile my belly was becoming enormous. I still thought it must be twins. I had one visit with my midwife around the end of November that left me feeling really peppy--I was still running, I was feeling pretty energetic, my test results were all good. I was heading in the right direction! 

Then I caught a cold from Mateo that left me exhausted and pretty much knocked me flat. I couldn't even go running. I knew I needed to get better before I could give birth. Due to my very large size, I began hearing comments like, "Aren't you ready to have this baby?" And my quick response was always, "No way! I can't have a new baby until we're all healthy again." We did get over the virus, and I was able to run again. 

I was approaching my 39th week of pregnancy. I remember lacing up my running shoes one day, thinking that it might be my last run for awhile because the weather was about to turn really cold. The day was balmy for December in Detroit (it was in the high 40's). It had rained the night before and everything felt clean and fresh. I felt so good during that run! I felt strong, healthy, and invigorated. I felt grateful for my body that was able to carry this baby (or these babies--still thinking it could be twins!).

Choosing my birthing music:

Around this time I was also deciding which music I wanted to listen to during labor and birth. I have felt the power of inspiring music during every labor, and I wanted to choose the right music for this birth. I had decided to use "the best of" from all my previous labors which included mostly new-age classical piano by George Winston and John Schmidt. My baby was due on Christmas Eve, and this version of "O come, Emmanuel" really spoke to me--and it had the right rhythm and energy to go along with my style of birthing music. I added it to the list. My list seemed complete... until one day when I was listening to this song which I had heard many times before. It wasn't exactly the style I preferred for birthing music, but the lyrics were so beautiful (and touched me so deeply at that moment) that I found myself with tears running down my cheeks by the end, so I knew it needed to be on my playlist as well. I was really hopeful that this birth would be as glorious as our other births had been.

The home stretch:

I started to take it easy after that last run, wanting to make it the whole 40 weeks. I wasn't sleeping well at all--between my gigantic belly and my numb hands and my almost-constant need to use the bathroom, I was awake at least 6 times every night. I wanted to be well-rested, but I had so many factors trying to oppose my desire! Scaling back my activity level during the day was a way to keep me from getting too worn out.

There was still a lot for me to do, trying to be ready for Christmas and of course the inevitable chaos that comes with a new baby. I also really wanted to have my husband around right after the baby came, and he had scheduled his vacation to start when the baby was due. In D's line of work, you have to schedule your vacation time in advance or you don't get it. Well, then I had this very vivid dream that the baby arrived on Christmas Eve. Perfect!

Birth preferences:
I had another appointment with my midwife. I discussed with her my birth preferences, aka THE BIRTH PLAN. I'd been to this midwife group for my last baby, and we had a wonderful experience. I was very comfortable with their approach to birth; they always "watch and wait," they don't jump into unnecessary interventions, and they allow the parents to play an active role in the birth process. I knew I wouldn't be pressured into a c-section, or given an episiotomy, or made to lie on my back with my legs in stirrups during this birth. Our preferences for birth included having D catch the baby and avoiding standard hospital interventions and procedures--avoiding interventions in the past is what has made our births glorious and has enabled me to feel empowered and thrilled with the birth process. It's a memory I want to relive again and again. My situation was a bit different this time though. I was a "grand multip," meaning I had four previous births.This is fantastic--what an honor to be part of the grand multiparous women's club! However there are some extra concerns and risks with this esteemed status, and my belly was also bigger than ever before, and I'm over age 35...

My midwife was wearing a button on her shirt that read, "I listen to women." She didn't give me any push-back about D catching the baby or avoiding those pesky interventions. We had a conversation about the external fetal monitor (EFM) machine and getting a hep-lock (this isn't an IV; just the IV prep). I didn't want to be hooked up the the EFM machine and she was fine with that. She did say that because of my grand multip status, she preferred that I get a hep-lock, just in case I needed something quickly during or after the birth. Over the next few days, I considered her advice, did a little bit of research, and consulted with my home birthing sister-in-law and decided that I didn't want the hep-lock. I've always loved that during and after birth, my hands are my own, unencumbered by needles and tubes.

And it begins:

D was scheduled to work long hours through the weekend (December 19-21) and then a late shift on the 22nd. After that he was off. When I made it through those shifts without starting labor, I breathed a sigh of relief.  I love labor and birth--I delight in learning about it, teaching about it, and experiencing it personally. I put a lot of effort into preparing for it because I want to enjoy it. Not just the end result of having a babe so fresh from Heaven in my arms, but the whole journey of getting that baby here. At that point, I really felt like I was prepared to enjoy the process. The next morning, Tuesday the 23rd, I woke up at 7:00 and felt the familiar sensations--labor had begun! I knew it would be just like the last three labors--I would labor all day and have the baby sometime in the middle of the night. My dream of having that baby on Christmas Eve was really coming true! 

I lounged in bed for awhile until I heard the kids waking up. They had just started their Christmas vacation so the timing was fantastic. D was around, so he took over the kids. I busied myself with packing my hospital bag and taking care of some Christmas preparations. We (well, mostly D) worked on laundry and cleaning the house. I gave our babysitter Laurie a heads-up in the morning, but told her she wouldn't need to come over until nighttime. I felt really relaxed; I just breathed through my surges as they came, closing my eyes to help me focus. D was quick to intervene if the kids tried to talk to me in the middle of a surge. I ate a bit in the morning but then started having reflux, so I just drank water for the rest of the day.

I did a few errands (some vital coupon shopping of course) and wrapped up some sales on Ebay and Craigslist. D took the kids out for a bit. I took a long, leisurely bath, shaved my legs, painted my toenails. It was a nice, slow day. I had a get-together planned with my friend Chalene--we decided to go shopping in the evening. When I told her I was in labor, she asked if I wanted to cancel, and I said I wouldn't be having the baby until after midnight anyway, so we should still go, as long as she could drive. She decided not to tell her husband that I would be sitting in their car while in labor and I promised to bring along some chux pads (the waterproof pads from the hospital) to sit on. Chalene was coming to get me at 6 p.m. Everything was going according to my perfect plan.

My friend could have been my midwife:

At about 5:30, I was lying on the couch when I felt the urge to breathe the baby down. I thought, "This is a little too early for birth breathing. Baby shouldn't be coming till after midnight." And then I told D, "I'm not going to make it to midnight. We should head to the hospital soon." I called Laurie and asked if she could come over. She had a quick stop to make on the way and then she'd be over. Then I called Chalene (who was already on her way) and said I didn't think I'd be able to go shopping, but I might need her to sit with my kids until Laurie came.

Laurie and Chalene ended up arriving at the same time. We chatted a bit; I was trying to take it easy by just sitting and relaxing. We took some photos (more than I've ever taken before heading to the hospital while in labor!), and D and I left for the hospital at 7:00. Most of the route was on a smooth freeway, but the last few miles was on a very sloppily repaired (i.e. bumpy) road--during surges I could really feel those bumps! I listened to some good birthing music on the way there, still just breathing through surges. I noticed that I was crossing my legs and kind of holding back with my breathing though. My body was trying to breathe my baby down. My brain was getting in the way and saying, "Not yet, not here."

No arboretum this time:

We parked (I declined D's offer to drop me off) and walked in the door. D carried all my stuff; I just had to worry about walking and breathing. Did I want a wheelchair? No way! The worst position for me while I'm in labor is sitting down. Must be the way I carry my babies, but it just feels really uncomfortable to have my belly crowded while my uterus is in surge. The arboretum was on the way to Labor and Delivery, and I really wanted to cruise around inside. It had been such a lovely thing during my labor with Mateo, I thought it would be nice to take a peaceful stroll amongst the trees again. D didn't want to do it--he said we should play it safe by getting checked in right away.

We got upstairs to the desk outside of Labor and Delivery and waited behind the couple in front of us. The mom wasn't in labor but was experiencing some spotting during her pregnancy. When it was our turn, they asked us the regular questions, including, "So do you think this is really labor?" Hard for me to not roll my eyes through that one--one would think that a mom might know with her number 5 if it was really labor! I was pausing to breathe through surges for most of the questioning. D chimed in, "This is her fifth baby. She's having surges about every 2 minutes and they're lasting 90 seconds." Even after that, they just offered me a seat and said a nurse from triage would come out to get me. No thanks, I didn't want to sit down!

A nurse came out after a few minutes--and took the other couple back. Fifteen minutes passed. I was still breathing calmly through the surges, but I was literally crossing my legs as I stood there leaning against the wall. I felt like the baby would just drop out if I uncrossed my legs! "Why are they taking so long?" I thought.

Arriving at my birthing place:

Finally the nurse came out to get us. She took us to a triage room, questioning, "Do you think this is the real thing?" as she began to pull out the straps for the EFM. I said, "No thank you, I don't want to do the 20 minute read on the EFM." And she said, "So no external monitoring at all?" I said, "The doppler is fine, and if you feel like you need to check my cervix, that's fine, but I really just want to get to my room and into the tub." And bless her, she said, "I just love it when moms come in here knowing exactly what they want!" She didn't use the doppler or check my cervix at that point--she just took us to room number 10 (next door to where Mateo was born two years ago!).

D got the water going in the tub and turned on my birthing music. One of the nurses told me she'd like to do a hep-lock, and I said, "At this time, I'm going to decline it; if we need to revisit that, we can talk about it later." I really needed to get into the tub so I could relax. They asked if I had a birth plan, and I pulled it out so they could have it for easy reference. My midwife already knew exactly what I wanted, but the nursing staff needed to know too.

As soon as the water was deep enough, I got in. I was finally able to uncross my legs! I hadn't been spotting at all, so I thought it might be a little while, but I wanted to be able to relax, and the jetted tub always helps me do that during labor. I looked around for the button so I could turn on the jets. Ahhh, getting ready to relax--I had my birthing music playing, the warm water surrounding and supporting my belly, and my husband was right there.

Before I could turn on the jets, I felt a little pop as my amniotic sac burst. The now-cloudy bath water told me immediately that the amniotic fluid wasn't clear. This had never happened to me before. "Meconium in the amniotic fluid," noted D to the "bossy nurse," who walked over to me and said, "You can't have your baby in the tub, so you will need to start thinking about moving over to the bed." I nodded, thinking, "When I get a break between surges, I will get out of the tub and get on the bed." I honestly thought I'd be able to do that. The nurse left (who knows where she went?), and I asked D to play, "Glorious."  

Glorious birth:

As he switched the music, he heard me breathing. In his words, "I heard you make that sound, and I knew it was game over." I was feeling nice and relaxed, and I just allowed my body to take over and do what it was made to do--birth easily and naturally. This was childbirth without fear. D took off his watch and belt, took his phone out of his pocket, walked out into the hall, and said to the nurses at the desk, "This is going to happen really soon." He came back in, and I was in my groove, breathing the baby down, just trying to stay relaxed. I was still in the tub-- there was no way for me to move anywhere without dropping the baby on the floor. I could feel the pressure as our baby made its journey down. My body was doing its job. My brain didn't need to tell my body what to do; my brain just needed to stay out of the way and allow my instincts to take over. 

"I have a head!" I heard D call out. He caught the head and supported it as the baby's shoulders rotated on their own. It was just the two of us in the room. The rest of the baby came out, and as the feet emerged, D saw a pair of hands reaching down and heard, "You can let go now." D didn't know who it was, but he thought, "There's no way I'm letting go of my baby! I have no idea who you are." It turns out it was my midwife. She and most of the nurses on the floor had rushed in to watch those feet come out. It was 7:55, we had been in our room for just fifteen minutes, and our baby was born. Amazing! I felt that familiar rush of exhilaration and joy, like I had just reached the summit of a very high mountain and was now taking in the incredible view. It was glorious!

I run around with the home birthing crowd, but D and I have never planned a home birth for ourselves. We have always opted for a natural hospital birth in a birth-friendly hospital attended by a midwife. Who knew we could get an unattended hospital water birth though?! We were too calm; nobody thought I was that far along because I wasn't screaming and writhing. I'm so grateful my husband was also calm and could simply take off his watch and belt and catch the baby.

Time to move over to the bed. I carried our baby (cord still attached) and made my way to the bed. The nurses stayed close by to ensure I made it OK. I was feeling pretty awesome though. There's nothing like the adrenaline rush that comes after natural birth. D called out to me from the bathroom where he was washing up, "It's a girl, Babe!" A girl! I was thrilled that we had kept our family pattern going--girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy... girl! (including the mama and the dada, since I'm older than D).

Our baby girl was howling so I put her next to my chest to comfort her. And then I breastfed her. She calmed right down. It was awesome that our baby was crying so forcefully--the worry with meconium babies is that they'll aspirate it, causing pneumonia. Crying expels all the meconium. After a bit, her cord was clamped and cut, I birthed the very large placenta, and she was weighed and measured. She weighed 10 pounds 3 ounces, was 20 inches long, and had a 14 inch head. Almost as big as a set of twins! With her size, I wondered what kind of damage I had sustained "down there." I was so pleased to hear my midwife announce, "No tears." I was astounded that her birth had been so smooth, so quick, and so easy. Glorious! 

Home on Christmas Eve:

D and I were both feeling great. This was our first baby to arrive at a reasonable hour--the other four came in the middle of the night or in the morning after a day and night in labor. I was ready to have our kids over for a visit, but we decided to wait until morning to make things easier on Laurie (wrestling the kids to bed after all that excitement would be rough, we thought). I ordered some food--our hospital is famous for the amazing food there--and we just hung out chatting. Our baby breastfed almost non-stop for her first six hours, after which she let me take a little nap.

Our excited munchkins arrived the next morning to meet their baby sister. What a sweet time we spent together, especially as each of them held her for the first time. After they left, I almost didn't know what to do with myself--I only had one baby who needed snuggling! We had to wait 24 hours to leave. What to do? D found that there were a bunch of movies available to watch--we chose the second Hobbit movie, which we hadn't seen. After five births, this was the first time I'd watched a movie at the hospital! I also continued to enjoy the scrumptious hospital food (doesn't that sound like an oxymoron--scrumptious hospital food? It really was though).

They kept an eye on our baby because of the meconium and her high birth weight, but everything was fine and we were able to check out after 24 hours. I got to be home for Christmas Eve. We were able to sing Christmas carols by candlelight to our kids after they were in bed as we do every Christmas Eve. It was so special to be able to celebrate our Savior's birth together as a family, snuggling our brand new baby girl, our most precious gift this Christmas.

Finding the right name:

D and I find it really challenging to name our babies. Perhaps it's the pressure of finding the perfect fit (after all, a person's name is theirs forever!), or maybe we just aren't good enough at agreeing on a name. What we do agree on is that we like names from the scriptures. Thankfully that narrows it down a bit. A few days after our baby's birth, I was browsing lists of Biblical names and came across Emma. "Emma," I thought, "I didn't know that name was in the Bible." And then I saw it: Emma: feminine form of Emmanuel. I thought of her arrival, so close to the time we celebrate Jesus' birth, and what a cherished gift she was to our family. I thought of how much the song, O Come, Emmanuel, spoke to me during my pregnancy. And I couldn't feel right about any other name for her.

We are all in love with our sweet baby, and I know this is cliche, but we can't imagine our family without her!

Ketchup

Sounds like a good idea to ketchup on everything, but I know it's not going to happen. So many excursions in Merida are just not going to make it on this poor little neglected blog...but here's my attempt to sort of sum up the past eight months since our return. I'm hoping to add some photos at some point.

I returned to Michigan with the kids in mid-April (why we came back early is a story for another post). A week later I fell ill. What could it be? A strange, Mexican parasite? Well, yes, it was. Surprise! I was extremely nauseated, had terrible fatigue and headaches and reflux, and was pretty much bedridden for almost three months. Meanwhile I was supposed to wrap up the school year home schooling Squeak and Pip and doing basic care for my four little ones while D was still working in Merida. Needless to say, not an easy time for me.

D was able to return in mid-June and he spent his first month back trying to clean up the terribly messy house and take care of his very ill wife. Oh, and we had some pipes burst in the basement while we were gone during the winter, so half of the living space in our little house was not livable.

I think I had one really good day during that time--and it happened to be the day in June when our Nena was baptized and confirmed.  I prayed to be able to feel well so I could enjoy that special experience. What a blessing the Lord granted me!

During those three months, I was too ill to care that I couldn't go running, couldn't leave the house, couldn't eat much, practically couldn't function, and couldn't socialize, but when I finally started to feel better in mid-July, I was ready to start being myself again. We made three frenzied trips back-to-back to see people and places--this helped to resurrect me. We went to St. Louis to see the land of my father (and show the kids many of the things I experienced vacationing there as a kid). So fun to have my dad show us around!


We returned home and took a day to unpack and repack before heading "up north" to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I felt that we couldn't really say we've experienced Michigan without taking a trip to the U.P. We stayed in a little cabin and then a nice little hotel and enjoyed time at various lakes.


After returning from that trip, we had a few more days to do laundry and clean and pack up for a 3-week trip to Utah, mostly to enjoy my sister's wedding festivities. The drive was the easiest we've ever done with our crew, what a treat! We all enjoyed the constant stream of social events, and I was so grateful to feel well enough to enjoy it all.

D had to return to Michigan a bit before the rest of us because he had started a new job, but the kids and I lingered with family. I drove with the kids to visit friends in Denver a week later. Dave flew there so he could drive us the rest of the way home.

We had one weekend before school started for Squeak and Pip. They were not excited about going and would've loved to have Mama continue to home school them, but I just couldn't do it. I spent a lot of time and energy psyching them up for it, and although they were nervous, things have turned out quite well. Pip especially has been blessed with perfect teachers for him and he loves going to school now! Squeak is also doing so well and enjoying her experiences. Yay!

We had a gorgeous autumn here. I was able to start running again and really enjoyed being outside and feeling somewhat normal again. I went crazy pressing leaves--I just couldn't get enough of the rainbow of colors. D was working in three different urgent care offices, enjoying the variety and the new colleagues. We tried to hire someone to fix up the mess in our basement, but that didn't work out, so handyman D did all the work himself, and then we painted. It was previously a hideous very dark peach (almost orange) and now it's a cheery white--I love it! We got things put back into place just in time for the cold weather to arrive.

We enjoyed being cats and a dog for Halloween. The pre-Halloween parties were a lot of fun, and thank goodness we didn't save all our partying for Halloween night because it was freezing cold and sleeting and we only went trick-or-treating for a short time.

Thanksgiving was delightful--we enjoyed a wonderful time with some friends whose policy is "there's room for everyone at our table"--they invite anyone and everyone to join them, and it feels like a wonderful family atmosphere even though we are far away from our families. The kids and I have enjoyed Thanksgiving with them every year we've been in Michigan, but this was D's first time attending--he was able to have the day off, a luxury he has missed out on for most of med school and residency.

I spent November and December trying to overfeed the bargain hunting animal that lives in my bones, knowing that when the new baby is here, that animal will have to starve at times. Ah, the thrill of coming home with bags full of items that only cost me a few dollars! D is antsy to simplify and get rid of things, but I have to keep reminding him that I'm in an accumulation phase because with a new babe, I won't be able to run out and get that soap or shampoo or shirt on sale.


All this time, I've gone through some serious personal growth as well. Already posted this on facebook, but here it is for the blog:

My friends, I'm beeg. As in, "estoy grande," not, "soy grande." I'm almost 40 weeks pregnant, and while I normally can run the whole 9 months, I was so sick this time that I was bedridden for 3 months and had to take 4 months off running. It seems it has taken its toll--I've never been this beeg in my life! So the other day I had a conversation with a gentleman that we will call "Mr. Tactful." Here you go:

Mr. Tactful: Why haven't you had that baby yet?
Me: Baby isn't due yet.
Mr. Tactful: (look of complete shock) REALLY!?!
Me: You don't have to tell me I look like a bus.
Mr. Tactful: Well! That is a VERY well-nourished baby!

I thought about this exchange (almost humorously, and actually unemotionally) for about an hour before deciding that it was my duty to educate him on how to converse with a pregnant mama.

Me: So I have some free advice for you on what you shouldn't say to a pregnant mama. First, know that whatever her size, she already feels huge.
Mr. Tactful: Oh?
Me: Yes. So you should never say things like, "Are you overdue?" "Are you sure you're not having twins?" "You look like you're about to pop!" "That's a very well-nourished baby!" "You look like a bus!" "You're baby is going to be huge!" [Did I leave anything out??]
Mr. Tactful: (a little bit speechless but nods his head)
Me: But here's what you CAN say! "How are you doing?" "You look great!" "You look energetic!" "Would you like to sit down?" "How can I help you?" [Did I leave anything out??]

The other ladies in the room nodded in agreement and said to me, "Well done!"
I think I successfully saved him from repeating his error with any other pregnant mamas--he apologized profusely and has been tactful and gracious about my size and state ever since!


And that's all the ketchup I can mustard right now. (I know, so funny!!!)

 

Mayan Country: Ake and Coastal ruins near Progreso

I'm back--but probably only briefly! Some photos I had in drafts:

 

This is Ake--we really enjoyed this site which included an old church (built on top of a pyramid) and some gigantic steps and pillars. Also a large pyramid that overlooked the "raised highways" that led to other Mayan cities.

I can't remember the name of this small coastal set of ruins near Progreso, but they traded salt with the cities further inland. 

This biology mom also found TWO snakeskins on the ruins. Fun!

Mayan Country: Uxmal

I have been lazy about posting photos. While D's parents visited, we went to Uxmal, a larger site that is also not overrun by tourists. It was awesome! Most locals prefer this site to Chichen Itza. You can climb on everything except the pyramid of the magician, which works great for our crowd (we don't love being spectators).

I love this shot of my kids!

 

We thought the translator for these signs did an amazing job!



 "Not rise to structures" should be "Keep off the buildings"

 

 

 "Not up to the roofs" should be "Keep off the roof"

 

Maybe I should offer my translation services?

D with his Dad

in front of the pyramid of the magician

 

 Peep had a blast crawling back and forth in front of this building

amazing architecture

 

Chiqui, Pip, and Baba Dona

 

D's cute parents

Flamingos!

We had visitors, yay! What a party to have D's parents come visit us on New Year's for 9 days! I could happily run tours for friends and family for the rest of our stay in Merida. Who else wants to visit??

We took advantage of extra helping hands to do some things we've been wanting to do. We went on THE BIRD LOVER'S DREAM EXCURSION. I am a bird lover--growing up, birdwatching was one of my favorite things to do. D's dad is also a bird lover. After this trip, who wouldn't be a bird lover?

Celestun is legendary as the main courtship area for tens of thousands of flamingos. We took a boat ride through the estuary flanked by mangroves to find the flamingo habitat. We passed many water birds on the way. And then we arrived to the area where thousands of flamingos were feeding and socializing. It was mesmerizing to watch those beautiful creatures take flight--their dainty feet skimming across the water's surface as their long, graceful necks stretched straight and their beautiful pink and black wings beat the breeze. I couldn't get enough of it!

There's a juvenile right in the middle of this group. It looks gray. Flamingos are born white and become pink as they continue to eat shrimp larvae. 

Flamingo in flight

Love this awkward loooooong neck!

We also passed "Isla de Pajaros" with hundreds of Canadian and brown pelicans and other shore birds. And we went through "paseo por los manglares" (the mangrove tunnel), where we were surrounded by mangroves just barely above and to the side of our boat. Reminded me of "Rainforest Road" in the motherland. I was in heaven!

T, Chiqui, Baba Jim, Pip, Baba Dona, Nena, D, Lechon

Canadian pelicans and other water birds on a sand bar

paseo por los manglares

isla de pajaros

That's me, the bird lover, in paradise. I suddenly find myself liking pink!

If you think you want to come for a visit, the flamingos are there in the thousands between January and March. No pressure!

Christmas at Playa Celestun

We are pretty good at keeping Christmas simple here. I love the month of constant parties and good food, but as far as doing gifts for the kids goes--we keep it really spartan. This year we were extra spartan (MSU fans will find that to be especially funny).

We didn't bring any Christmas decorations with us (except for four ornaments I'd made right before leaving). With all the other details to take care of with moving, I just forgot. Stockings are hard to come by around here, so I decided to make some. The kids loved choosing their own fabric. Other than that, we bought the cheapest tree we could find and one string of lights.

Mateo loves checking out his own ornament

Sunday before Christmas with my barefoot girls 

We love having our Noche Buena feast on the 24th followed by the nativity play and then having a relaxing day on Christmas. Usually we have friends join us, but the people we invited couldn't come, so it was just us.

Noche Buena feast as simple as it gets: lentils and tortillas, fresh bread with honey and butter, cheese and jamaica

Santa filled the stockings with Mexican goodies and also left FIVE FRESH PINEAPPLES!!

My heart's desire was to go to the beach after the kids went through their stockings. I wanted to get some shells to decorate the tree, and I wanted to feel that yummy sand between my toes and smell the salty air. We were told that Celestun was a great beach for shells, so that's where we went. It was breezy and cool so we didn't stay in the water long, but we loved walking up and down the beach feeling the frothy water lick our toes. The shelling was great! I loved seeing my little people exclaim over their shells--seeing myself in them is so fun!

Playa Celestun

Love this photo

Collecting shells

The kids drew names for gifts for each other this year and spent their pesos at "Tienda de Mami" ("Mami's Store") because taking each one shopping would've been too complicated. It worked out surprisingly well. I need to restock and reopen "Tienda de Mami" again soon! We let them exchange gifts that night after we returned from the beach.

Mariachi Magic

We have a great friend here named Val. She throws awesome parties, and we feel fortunate to be invited. We had a great Thanksgiving feast, thanks to Val. I took some simple wheat rolls and I couldn't believe how the ladies were gushing over my "pan de lujo" (fancy bread) as they called it. Yes, it is impossible to find good wheat bread here. Unless you make it yourself.

This awesome mariachi band played for us.

And here is Mateo rockin' with the mariachis while eating his "pan de lujo."

When in Rome...

I have no problem with public breastfeeding. I do it all the time, and I do it discreetly without a "nursing cover." Unless you're standing right above me peering at my chest, you won't see any skin. I know that most people in the States frown on public breastfeeding, but I don't think we should be astonished by this very normal way of nourishing babies.

 Here I am breastfeeding on the train at the zoo.

 

And here I am breastfeeding at Uxmal (Mayan ruins).

 



 

I believe in feeding my baby when he/she is hungry, so I've breastfed at the store, the gym, on planes, at parks, in restaurants, at the zoo...everywhere I've taken my baby. Except for one place. I've always said, "I would never breastfeed my baby in the main meeting with men, women, and children at church" (of course, I've had no problem breastfeeding in the all-ladies meeting). Maybe because my babies are loud when they eat, maybe because it's church. So I'd get up and walk out to the special "mother's room" where there are nice chairs and a door that closes.

 

Then we came to Mexico, and our first Sunday in church, I asked the ladies if there was a room where I could go feed my baby when he got hungry. No, they don't have a "mother's room" here. The moms just breastfeed where they are. I thought about trying to find an empty classroom or maybe even going out to the car.

 

Then I remembered a friend of mine describing her experience at the Turkish baths. Before going, she thought she could cover up a bit and still be modest in front of the other bathers, maybe wear a swimsuit or something. But when she arrived and they handed her this teeny tiny apron that wouldn't cover top or bottom well at all, and she realized she'd really stand out if she wore her swimsuit, she shrugged and said, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do."

 

So I shrugged and said, "When in Rome..."

 

Sometimes it's a little bit liberating to go against your own, "I would never...!" statements. 

 



Merida Centro

There are lots of fun parks and activities in Merida. Here's a peek at what we've seen/done in town:

Plaza de la Madre

 I just love this sculpture! I will have to go back during the day and take a better photo, but I was glad to get in front of it with my little ones. The details are awesome--this mama is holding and bathing her infant in her lap and at the same time hanging on to her little girl. She is busy! Her eyes and hands and arms and legs and feet are all engaged, caring for her offspring. Doesn't that perfectly describe "maternidad" (motherhood)?

Plaza de las Americas

This awesome fountain has six or so plumed serpents. I just had to climb on it (I used my self-control and didn't jump in though). 

Mormon temple

Horsey Ride

We took a carriage ride through downtown during Christmas time. Loved seeing all the lights, and the kids were delighted!

Food!

I'm married to a foodie. I might be a foodie now too. We ate at this Japanese restaurant and the food was scrumptious! D ordered octopus, I ordered chicken curry. We both cleaned both plates. Yum!